I raised my boys to be gentlemen. They open doors for others, especially women. They walk on the street side to protect the girl. They walk their date to the door when taking her home. They offer up a seat to women and the elderly. They're not perfect by any means and I'm sure there are a few points I missed teaching them, but they do have manners and they do act like gentlemen. The problems they're having are with the girls and women they encounter, whether in school or in public.
Ty will hold a door open for a woman as he enters a building and get admonished because, "I can open the door myself!" When dropping a date off at home, "You don't have to walk me to the door, I can get there on my own!" He knows girls who constantly talk about what losers men and boys are, and there are umpteen Tik Tok, Youtube and other social media videos with girls his age, and some older, complaining that "All men are useless, we don't need them." Seriously, girls? That's your attitude? Okay, let's discuss it, shall we?
I know you're all saying that women are equal to men, have the same rights, and don't need men to do for you. You can open your own doors, and you can carry your own backpack or grocery bags. You can do the same things men can do and don't need them because 'women's lib', correct? That's great. Have at it, but remember that you said it.
The next time you need furniture moved, move it. The next time you go on a date, make sure you pay for both of you, or at least pay for yourself. The next time a holiday is coming - Christmas, Valentine's Day, your birthday - do not even think about hinting at, asking, or telling your boyfriend to get you something expensive. And don't get pouty when he gives you something that's within his budget because you were expecting something way out of his price range. Girls have done that to my boys and it pisses me off.
When you need your car fixed, don't ask your dad, your boyfriend, your other male friends. YouTube it, buy the parts, and fix the car. You're riding public transportation? Don't expect the men to give up their seat for you. I don't care that you've been walking all day. Suck it up, little girl. Can't reach something on the high shelf in the supermarket? Figure out how to get it without asking the taller guy to get it for you.
From what I've seen among all the girls in the local schools and my neighborhood, girls want to badmouth guys yet still want all the benefits of having a guy around. Guys are supposed to pay for dates and buy gifts, guys are supposed to listen to and solve their problems, guys are supposed to protect them from the evils of the world. You can't have it both ways, girls, ladies, women - whatever it is you prefer to be called.
You claim to be independent and capable of handling things on your own, which is great. Confidence is a wonderful thing. However, attitude under the guise of confidence sucks. You can show confidence without being a complete and total bitch about it. When a man holds a door open for you, smile, thank him, and walk through the door. If someone offers to carry your bags to the car, smile, thank him and politely decline. No bitchy lecture on women's lib is needed. Trying to make men feel bad about being polite is unacceptable.
I teach my daughter that she can do and be anything she chooses when she grows up, but I also teach her to be gracious and appreciate the things other people do for her. You all need some lessons in basic etiquette, and to learn that your selfishness, nasty attitude, and double standards are going to get you nowhere fast. My boys, and many other men, will continue to act like gentlemen whether you like it or not. Get used to it and shut up about it. But if you're going to continue with your negative attitude, please don't ever have children. I weep for how they'll be raised.
Until next time...peace to all.
