The End of School Days

Today was the last day of school for the boys. Ty finished up 1st grade and Zach finished up Kindergarten. We bought each of their teachers a card and a small gift to say goodbye. Zach's teacher was Ty's Kindergarten teacher last year and she did a great job with both of them, but she'll still be teaching Kindergarten next year so we'll only be seeing each other in passing. Ty's teacher is leaving the building to take a teaching position in another school in the area, so we won't be seeing her at all. She was wonderful with Ty and helped him progress so much. I'll miss both of them; they're really great teachers.

They had their Awards Assembly yesterday morning and it was fun. Both boys won awards for Writing and Attendance; Ty won an award for art and Zach won "Character Kid of the Year." That award is for showing character, not because he is one (he really is, though). I'm so very proud of them both. I was teary just watching them accept their certificates.

Now they get four days off before they start summer school. It's voluntary here in MO, for the lower grades. It gives the boys a chance to see what school will be like next year. There is still learning but no homework; and it helps them to remember what they learned this year. It's only for the month of June, but it keeps them occupied and they're not out playing in the streets all summer long.

By they time they're finished on July 2nd, I'll be finished with my degree-my last day of classes is June 23rd-so we can spend July and part of August together just hanging out in the yard. It'll be fun because they've complained for the past three years that my school work is more important than they are. They know it's not true but it's something to keep them whining. I'm willing to bet, though, that after spending a solid week with Mom at their sides-all day, every day, they'll be yelling at me to find something to do. "Mom, don't you have some laundry to do or something? You're invading our space." :) It's okay if they do complain because we all need a break from one another at some point. It'll be fine, I'm sure.

I can't wait to be able to just sit outside and watch them play or to join them in a game of tag. Right now I'm so wrapped up in finishing my final term that I'm about to lose my mind. It's really kicking my ass. The work is so involved and takes so long to research that my poor brain is on overload. That's why I'm here tonight. I have no projects to do this week, just getting ready for the final two weeks of actual graded work. Even though week seven of the ten-week term started today, I'm giving myself a break to kind of wind down and realign before I get to spend all day tomorrow sitting at the computer.

One thing I'm really looking forward to is ending the constant neck and back pain. My ass hurts, too, just from sitting here constantly, and my sciatic nerve is always pinching me. Imagine, a life free from body aches. Aaahhh. I know that will never happen, but even a little less ache is better that what I've got now. No worries. Soon enough I'll get to lie on the floor all day if I want to just to feel better. In the meantime, I'll look forward to the end of my classes and to spending a full six weeks with the kids-school work free. That'll definitely keep me going.

They will be days filled with love, hugs and kisses all around, and on a constant basis. Lots of laughter, too. Not that we don't have that now, but there will be lots more of it when we're all free of our school bonds. I smile just thinking about it.

How Time Flies

The school year for Ty and Zach ends on May 27. I could swear it only started last week. I remember getting them ready for their first day, and taking their pictures on the front stoop to commemorate the occasion. Lettie was so excited that they were going to school but disappointed that she wouldn't be going. She was barely two years old but wanted, so badly, to be with her brothers. I assured her she would get to go to school soon. Well, that day is almost here.

She and I went, this morning, to Headstart to enroll her for the 09/10 school year. She will start in August, when her brothers return for the school year. My baby will be starting school. I could swear she was only born last week. She'll be getting on the bus and spending four hours - it's only part day - away from me. It will be the first time in almost eight years that I will be home alone for any length of time, every day. WOW! That went fast.

I will be graduating college in July. I remember calling the admissions advisor to get information on enrollment and starting my first day of classes just a couple of weeks later, in June of '06 - after a 22-year hiatus from my previous college experience. I know it's been three years since I started, but I could swear I just started last week.

When I stop and think about everything that's happened in the past three years, I can't believe how quickly it's gone. Lettie was only two months old when I began my college courses at Kaplan. I would sit at the computer, nursing her on one arm, and typing with the other. I actually became pretty proficient at typing with only one hand. :) Zachary had just turned three, and Tyler would become five in November of that year.

Now, Lettie is three and will be starting pre-school in August; Zach will turn six tomorrow and will go into 1st grade; and Ty will be eight in November, after he begins 2nd grade. Where did the time go? It seems like everything is moving so quickly, yet standing completely still - especially time.

Over the past couple of years, I've learned to slow down and just take things in stride. I don't want to rush anything, but time gets away from me anyway. Now, I see other people rushing all the time, and never getting anywhere, just like I used to be. I had to slow down because I came to realize: What's the point in rushing? Time will take care of itself. We can't slow it down to make the day last longer, and we can't speed it up to keep up with our needs. All we can do is enjoy it while it's here and now.

We know we can't get yesterday back, and there's no use waiting "until tomorrow" - because, if you really think about it, "tomorrow" never gets here. ;)

Grateful

I know it's not Thanksgiving but I was sitting here this evening thinking about everything I have and how truly grateful I am to have it. I do that often, but tonight I just wanted to put it in writing so I could actually look at it.

My home is rented and my food is purchased with the assistance of government funds. I am grateful to have them, and am no longer ashamed to be utilizing the services of a system I paid into for over 18 years. My other bills are paid out of pocket, but without government assistance, I'd have nothing. There would be no way I could afford a home and food for my kids if the system wasn't there to help me.

I am currently in my final term of e-college, after which I will have earned a Bachelors Degree in Paralegal Studies. Even though most of my tuition is being put on a student loan, I wouldn't be able to attend college without it. Because of college, I will be able to get a job and support my kids without any more government assistance, and I will be able to give them a better life than I had as a child. That will be a great accomplishment in itself. I dropped out of college 22 years ago and am proud of what I've done so far. To have the opportunity to return to college for that ever-elusive degree is a wonderful experience that I will always cherish.

My friends are the best. I have few, but the ones I do have are there for me whenever I need them, and vice versa. We have seen each other through pain and sorrow, as well as joys and triumphs. We've laughed, cried, argued, debated, agreed, disagreed, and just plain been. My friends have strengthened me, and have helped me gain spirituality. They've helped me become a better person, mother and friend. Some I know personally, and see them whenever the chance arises. Others I've never met personally but know through school, and have only spoken to over the phone. Regardless, they are the best and I would do anything for any of them.

My children are my biggest blessings of all. They make me want to be the best mom I can possibly be, and they keep me grounded in reality. It's hard to daydream about lifestyles of the rich and famous when a three year old is screaming because her dress is dirty; a five year old is crying because his brother hit him; and a seven year old is demanding that his brother stay out of their room. :) My kids light up my days and brighten my smile. When I go on my nightly rounds before bed to make sure they're all covered, warm and cozy in their beds, and to give one extra goodnight kiss, the stress and anxiety of the day's tribulations simply vanish when I see them sleeping, lost in their dreams and look at their little faces. All I can do is think of all the possibilities they have before them, and how I want, so much, for each of them to be happy in their lives.

No matter how tough things get in my life, I know that I will always be grateful for whatever I have at any given moment. To think otherwise would only get me mired down in misery and I would miss out on all the wonderful moments life has to offer.