Grateful

I know it's not Thanksgiving but I was sitting here this evening thinking about everything I have and how truly grateful I am to have it. I do that often, but tonight I just wanted to put it in writing so I could actually look at it.

My home is rented and my food is purchased with the assistance of government funds. I am grateful to have them, and am no longer ashamed to be utilizing the services of a system I paid into for over 18 years. My other bills are paid out of pocket, but without government assistance, I'd have nothing. There would be no way I could afford a home and food for my kids if the system wasn't there to help me.

I am currently in my final term of e-college, after which I will have earned a Bachelors Degree in Paralegal Studies. Even though most of my tuition is being put on a student loan, I wouldn't be able to attend college without it. Because of college, I will be able to get a job and support my kids without any more government assistance, and I will be able to give them a better life than I had as a child. That will be a great accomplishment in itself. I dropped out of college 22 years ago and am proud of what I've done so far. To have the opportunity to return to college for that ever-elusive degree is a wonderful experience that I will always cherish.

My friends are the best. I have few, but the ones I do have are there for me whenever I need them, and vice versa. We have seen each other through pain and sorrow, as well as joys and triumphs. We've laughed, cried, argued, debated, agreed, disagreed, and just plain been. My friends have strengthened me, and have helped me gain spirituality. They've helped me become a better person, mother and friend. Some I know personally, and see them whenever the chance arises. Others I've never met personally but know through school, and have only spoken to over the phone. Regardless, they are the best and I would do anything for any of them.

My children are my biggest blessings of all. They make me want to be the best mom I can possibly be, and they keep me grounded in reality. It's hard to daydream about lifestyles of the rich and famous when a three year old is screaming because her dress is dirty; a five year old is crying because his brother hit him; and a seven year old is demanding that his brother stay out of their room. :) My kids light up my days and brighten my smile. When I go on my nightly rounds before bed to make sure they're all covered, warm and cozy in their beds, and to give one extra goodnight kiss, the stress and anxiety of the day's tribulations simply vanish when I see them sleeping, lost in their dreams and look at their little faces. All I can do is think of all the possibilities they have before them, and how I want, so much, for each of them to be happy in their lives.

No matter how tough things get in my life, I know that I will always be grateful for whatever I have at any given moment. To think otherwise would only get me mired down in misery and I would miss out on all the wonderful moments life has to offer.