Bored and Lonely

I can’t believe it’s been a month since I’ve been here. I guess I just haven’t had a lot to say. That’s probably because nothing much happens here and life just moves right along, day by day. Right now, I’m sitting here watching “Fast & Furious” for the second time tonight on USA channel, in the lower common room, by myself. Tonight’s 4:00-12:00 staff is in the upper common room watching TV and the two other residents that are here right now are putting their kids to bed and hanging out in their rooms. It’s amazing how, in a house full of people, I can feel so lonely. My most common contact these days is my ex’s ex-girlfriend, D. She lives here on LI and is the only one of his girlfriends that I liked. She ran a daycare for 12 years so I knew she’d keep my kids safe when they were with their dad for their weekend visits.

I started contacting D over the summer when I found out my ex had lied to me about the no-contact order he claimed the NYS courts put in place once the kids and I moved into the shelter. I think I mentioned it before, when I first came back on here back in December. When I found out the no-contact order never existed I called D to talk to her about their relationship and how he’d been with the kids. Around the holidays she called me to give the kids and me her good wishes and then she came over to visit us one evening because she was having issues with our ex’s current, B. Imagine that, my ex’s ex needed to speak to me about his current. Sounds like a soap opera, doesn’t it? 

To make a very long story really short, he’d come back here just after Thanksgiving because B threw him out – because of his temper. D helped get him back here by supplying him a plane ticket, then, along with his mother, talked him into going back to IN, which he did after a week. My kids are really angry with him – again, but that’s another story for another time. So he went back to B and all seemed to be well until D started getting text messages from B asking her what happened when Paul was here and what D’s relationship status was with Paul. Talk about weird. As it turns out, Paul was spinning his usual web of lies and B was convinced that D still wanted Paul and was stalking him and blah, blah, blah. Seriously? Seems like this chick is as nutty as a fruit bar, or as crazy as Paul is. They seem to be a perfect match for one another.

So B has been texting D on a constant basis harassing her and asking all sorts of questions and on and on, and D spent a lot of time trying to tell B that she wasn’t interested in Paul at all and that she hoped everything would work out between them. Seems Paul’s lies to B had her nervous and paranoid, so much so that she actually called me one morning to find out if most of what Paul had been telling her was true or not. I have no reason to lie so I put it all out there for her; even some things she didn’t ask, I gave it to her anyway. Whether she believed me or not I don’t know, and I don’t care. All that matters to me is that she knows what went on between Paul and me while we were together and even afterward, up to and including all the events that happened recently.

D continued getting texts from B, so much so that she actually sent B a text telling her to bug off. Would you believe D received over 100 more texts from the crazy lady after sending that text? Believe it because it happened, just this past week and it was all in one day. D told me about it because she wasn’t sure what to do or what the issue was with this chick. I actually thought it was kind of funny since Paul seems to have met his exact match. They’re both really paranoid and controlling.

I got involved, made Paul get involved and had him tell B to leave D alone once and for all. That was Tuesday and she hasn’t gotten another text from B since then. She and I, however, text back and forth every night, talking about the two crazies and wondering if all is well in Looneyville. It seems to be so far. However B keeps texting me and sending me PMs on Facebook. I guess she thinks we’re friends or something. I have no clue what gave her that idea. I believe I’ll just continue to be cordial but we won’t ever be friends. Besides, the way my ex’s relationships work, she probably won’t be in his life much longer. D and I give it another six months, probably less. We’ll see and, not that you’re really interested but, I’ll keep you informed.

So that’s it. I really just wanted to vent tonight and whine about how bored and lonely I feel this evening. Even talking to D, who usually makes me laugh, isn’t as exciting as it usually is. However, I’m curious to know how many people are friends with their ex’s ex. Interesting isn’t it? I think so. Anyway, I’m gonna sign off, finish watching the movie again, and get some rest. Tomorrow I have to do my housing logs so I need my rest to be able to spend a few hours on Craigslist searching all the new “For Rent” ads. Pleh!

Until next time…peace to all.

Ch, ch, ch, ch, changes...

Changes are in the air. I spent all day working with friends setting up decorations for New Year’s Eve parties at eight different venues around the Island. I had a blast and my kids got to visit with their relatives. A good time was had by all. We watched the ball drop and the kids went to bed; I followed at 1:30 in the morning after having been up since 4:30 Saturday morning. Our work day was a long one. Anyway, everything was great, as far as I could tell.

Sunday morning after a quick run to the supermarket with Lisa and our kids, things started going downhill. Aside from the fact that I’d lost my voice late the night before and it was getting worse, Lisa got into a fight with another resident in the kitchen while we were packing out the groceries. When I say “fight” I mean that in the literal sense. It was a fist fight. In the midst of trying to break it up I got clocked in the back of the head by the other resident who happened to have her cell phone in her hand at the time. OUCH!! Now I’ve got a lump on behind my left ear that hurts like a bitch. Well, because of the fight both Lisa and the other resident are being discharged as of tomorrow. They would have been gone today but because Social Services is closed today in observance of the holiday they have to wait until tomorrow.

Now that’s bad for me and good for me in the same turn. Lisa and her daughter I will miss. They are wonderful people and have become really good friends. I’ll be alone after they leave since I’m not really friendly with the remaining three residents. On the good side, the other resident who’s also leaving is a huge pain in the ass. She spends most of her day screaming at her kids – 8, 2, and 1. She completely ignores the eight-year-old boy who in turn spends his time bothering the shit out of the rest of us. She needed to be discharged a while ago. I don’t know if I mentioned her before but she’s the one who doesn’t follow any of the rules making life really difficult for everybody else. It’ll be nice to see her go.

As much as I’ll miss Lisa I’m glad she’s getting the chance to be placed somewhere else. She needs to have a change for her and her daughter. She’s annoyed that she has to go through the aggravation of returning to Social Services but, as I told her this morning, everything for a reason. She agreed. We all need change and Lisa’s getting her chance for some. That makes me feel like I’ll be getting a positive change soon, too.

I had a friend in Missouri ask me yesterday if I was still planning on returning to Missouri in February and I don’t ever recall saying that to her. She claims I said it sometime in October but I honestly don’t remember. However, I’m taking it as a good sign that maybe, just maybe, I’ll get to be returning there very quickly, or at least the Universe will find a place for me and put me there. The way I see it, two of my friends have already left here – Kia and her kids, and now Lisa. When Lisa is gone tomorrow, everything for my kids and me will be different around here.

Lisa’s daughter is the one my kids play with all the time. She won’t be here so my kids won’t have anyone to hang with when they’re home. I won’t have anyone but staff to really talk to because, as I’ve already said, I’m not really on a “friend” basis with any of the other residents. Yes, we talk and we get along, but we don’t hang out the way Lisa and I do. It sucks but it just gives me more incentive to get the hell up outta here. That’s a good thing, right? I think it is.

So, we’ll see what happens. I have to call the social worker at the boys’ school tomorrow. I was supposed to call her before the holidays but didn’t get the chance. I’ve already set a reminder on my phone to call her tomorrow. When she called me two weeks ago she said she’d written a letter and made a phone call to the Independence Housing Authority but I didn’t get a chance to find out any details. I’ll find out tomorrow. Maybe it’ll be good new; maybe it won’t be any news. Maybe she’ll tell me Missouri isn’t the place for me and that I need to go to California or something. Ya never know.

What I do know is that PRD isn’t the place for my kids and me and we need to get back into our own place wherever the Universe sees fit to put us. We need to get our cats back and get our lives moving forward again. That’s what’s gonna happen, and I know it’s gonna be soon. I can’t wait to see what surprises are in store for us. It’s so exciting to know something great is coming, I just hate having to wait. But it is what it is and there’s nothing I can do about it. All in good time, and everything for a reason.

Until next time…peace to all.