And So We Begin

I’ve been waiting for the “right time” to start on this but I guess there is no right time, it’s just when I feel like getting into it and tonight I do. My kids and I are in our own home again and, although it’s not in perfect running order as of yet, things are beginning to smooth themselves out and fall into place once again. It’s a great feeling, I must say. What wasn’t a great feeling was coming to the realization a little over a year ago that my kids and I were being forced into a homeless shelter on Long Island.

Yes, I said forced. We had no choice because New York State absolutely refused to help us with any assistance for rent or placement into a home unless we were living in emergency housing. Why? Because according to the state agencies that I contacted we weren’t considered homeless. I was out of my mind because the definition of ‘homeless’ according to the HEARTH Act from HUD said we were homeless. The first two parts of the rule reads: (1) Individuals and families who lack a fixed, regular, and adequate nighttime residence and includes a subset for an individual who resided in an emergency shelter or a place not meant for human habitation and who is exiting an institution where he or she temporarily resided; (2) individuals and families who will imminently lose their primary nighttime residence.

My kids and I were living in a friend’s basement, one room that I divided into separate spaces with the use of bookshelves. We had a toilet and shower in the laundry room but no kitchen; we had to share that with my friend and her kids. The water heater leaked so our belongings were constantly getting wet. Whatever belongings we had downstairs with us that we could use were unpacked but the rest of our belongings were in boxes in her garage. Plus, the living arrangement was only temporary until I could get us a place of our own. I told that to the people I telephoned about assistance but they said that since we’d been there more than 30 days we weren’t considered homeless.

I explained that my kids had been enrolled into school under the McKinney-Vento Act so we were considered homeless according to the federal government but it didn’t do any good. We weren’t considered homeless by NYS standards even though we fell directly into the category in part two of the HEARTH Act – we were going to lose our residence with my friend because she was putting her house on the market so we had to be out. New York State didn’t care. We weren’t considered homeless. Were they fucking kidding me? No they weren’t.

There wasn’t an agency around Long Island that would help me get into a home before I was out on the street; I wasn’t homeless, nor was I disabled and I don’t have HIV. They all referred me to the Department of Social Services (DSS). I’d already called DSS and they told me the only thing they could do for us was put us in emergency housing. I didn’t want that for my kids. I refused to accept that as a final answer. I kept calling places for almost two months. One agency told me they couldn’t help me get a place because my income was less than $3600 a month. I told her that if I made that much I wouldn’t be calling for assistance. What a dumbass!!

I begged and pleaded with anyone who would listen at every agency I called. While they all sympathized, or so they said, they all claimed there was nothing they could do for my family and me. When I finally called the Social Services Commissioner’s office and spoke with him he said there were a couple of programs I qualified for but I’d have to be living in emergency housing to actually be able to benefit from the programs. I thought he couldn’t be serious, but he was. New York State was literally forcing my family into a homeless shelter, sorry, emergency housing. No! Fuck that! It was a homeless shelter. So, on May 31^st, 2011, I took my kids out of school and we drove to the Suffolk County Department of Social Services in Riverhead to be placed in a homeless shelter. That’s when our journey began…sort of.

Until next time…peace to all.

Refusing a Funk

I haven’t been here in over a week, sorry. I’ve been busy. In my last post I said I was moving all my stuff in the weekend of July 1^st but that didn’t happen. We only made two trips before gas and funds ran out but we got all our furniture in that weekend so we all had beds to sleep in and places to put our clothing. We did get all the rest of our stuff the following weekend when a friend helped with his truck and trailer. So now all of our belongings are with us and my house is a wreck. Pleh!

Yes, we have beds set up; yes, we have dressers, the kids do anyway, I’m using a tall bookshelf for my clothing. We have TV, internet and a house phone since Comcast was here last Friday and we have TVs in the bedrooms and the living room. I still don’t have a dining set so we eat on one of the huge end tables in the living room; and I have boxes all over the place simply because I don’t have all the storage space I need as far as furniture is concerned. I need more shelves and a desk. I’m living with the clutter but I’m trying to keep it arranged so it’s not bothersome to me. So far so good.

In the meantime, I just spend my days opening boxes, hanging pictures and trying to make our home a home.  I’m waiting for my funds to build up again so I can get back on track with bills and household expenses and trying to stay positive rather than falling into a funk. I had a birthday yesterday and it was just like any other day around here other than all the birthday wishes I got from my friends on Facebook. It was a day spent trying to stay out of the aforementioned funk since I was expecting a refund check from my car insurance and my food stamp card to be able to buy groceries.

Neither arrived in the mail although I’d been told they were both on their way. I called the insurance company about the check and was told that, since it’d been sent almost a month ago, they were going to put a stop payment on it and issue me a new one, and that it would take about a week to get here. I called DSS to find out about the food stamp card and was told my food stamps were only approved yesterday morning so it would take about five days for me to get it. Seriously!? Does anyone realize that kids can’t be fed with no money on hand? I guess they don’t and they don’t care either. So, tomorrow morning we’re off to the food pantry to get some groceries to last us for a few days until the money I am expecting arrives.

See why I’m trying to stay out of a funk? The way I see it is that I just have to stay positive and know that everything will fall into place when it’s supposed to and how it’s supposed to. I know it will, I just really hate having to hear my kids complaining that they don’t have any snacks and that I can’t buy them an occasional treat. They’re learning that they can’t have everything all the time and that we don’t always get what we want when we want it but it still hurts me to see their sad faces. I guess we all feel that way as parents but sometimes it’s just the way it is.

So here I sit, waiting for the Universe to yield to me and trying to make the best of what I have and know that something better is on the way. I have faith and I’m cheering up as I write this. Why? Because it always feels better to see my worries written down; it just reinforces that they’ll all be gone in a very short time. I know it and now you do too. I’m gonna sign off for now, though, and just relax a bit in front of the TV but I’ll be back shortly and I guarantee I’ll be in a much better mood.

Until next time…peace to all.