The Little Boy Who's There...But Not

"Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there. He wasn’t there again today; I wish, I wish he’d go away..." - Antigonish by Hughes Mearns

Back on June 28, 2010 I posted under the title "Nothing To Do" and I mentioned a ghost that we had on our stairs. It was a little boy - I didn't know for sure but had a really strong feeling - who sat about halfway up the staircase and watched me while I was in the living room. I could see him out of the corner of my eye but whenever I looked directly at him he'd fade.

I never found out who he was but had the idea that it might be the little boy Dolly played with and talked to when she was two. She said his name was Gavin, or it could've been Kevin, but I believe it was Gavin. She said that Gavin slept in her room. One night as I was putting Dolly to bed in my room (she didn't sleep in her own bed at that point) she was very upset because Gavin was gone. She said he was outside standing in the yard with his mother and that she wouldn't let him come inside. I told her he'd be fine and she went to sleep.

Gavin, I'll just call him that for lack of his real name, was with us all the time but never fully showed himself. When we moved I didn't see much of him - not at Ellen's, not at Kara's, not at the shelter, and not at Kim's - but there were always others around me who I couldn't identify. We're back in Hawthorne now and Gavin is with us again. He sits in the same place on the stairs, halfway up just where the railing meets the wall, I guess so he can stay out of plain view.

I see him there all the time and always invite him to come out and chat but he never does. The other day, however, I almost got a full view of him. I was sitting on the sofa watching a movie and had my cat Bobber on my lap and my other cat Winchester on the back of the sofa by my head. We were the only family members in the house at the time because the kids were at school.

Out of the corner of my eye I cold see Gavin sitting on the stairs, off and on, during the morning. Suddenly, he moved. I saw the movement and it surprised me so I turned to look at the stairs but just as I looked a shadow went up the stairs so quickly I almost didn't believe I saw it. But I did. It was almost like Gavin wanted me to see him but changed his mind at the last second and ran.

That was sad for me because, unlike the beginning of the poem that I quoted at the start of this post, I don't want Gavin to leave. I really want to meet him to see why he's here and what I can do for him. I told him that he's more than welcome to come out and talk, and that he can stay as long as he likes as long as he isn't mean and doesn't create chaos in the house. I guess he chose not to come back downstairs. I guess when he feels ready he will come all the way down; until then I'll just let him sit on the stairs where and when he wants to.

Until next time...peace to all.