I'm wondering if parents today actually teach their kids any manners and selfless behavior or if they leave the teaching to anyone the kids meet outside their homes. I was completely disgusted the other day by the behavior of a neighborhood kid; he happens to be a friend of my next-door neighbor's 15-year-old son. I don't know his name so I'll just call him Boor.
I had advertised my old kitchen table on Craigslist and the buyer and his brother showed up to get it. It had started to snow just before they arrived so they wanted to load up the table and get it back home as quickly as possible. Right after they left my neighbor's son and his friends, one of them being Boor, arrived home from early dismissal at school. Shortly after that my neighbor called me to ask me if the two guys who'd just left with the table had come from my place; when I said that they had she said that one of them may have dropped his cell phone.
I called one of the two numbers I had for them and confirmed that the buyer had dropped his cell phone and was panicking that he couldn't find it. Happy to know where the phone was they turned around and came back to get it. In the meantime I went next door to get the phone from my neighbor and when they men pulled up in the truck I met them at the truck, phone in hand. He was grateful to have his phone and asked me if he needed to offer the kid some money for finding the phone; I told him it wasn't necessary and he got back in the truck as I turned to come back into my home.
Right then I heard a kid yell, "HEY! You owe me $10 for finding that phone!" It was Boor. I looked up and saw Boor and another of the boys hanging out my neighbor's upstairs window; they'd been watching as I returned the phone to the owner and, I guess, were waiting to see if the guy was going to ask to speak to whoever found the phone. When he started to leave Boor decided that he needed to say something. What the fuck?
I kept walking back to my home and the truck continued to back out of the parking spot. Just as I got to my door I turned to make sure the men were leaving but the truck had stopped and the phone owner was outside the truck door speaking up to Boor, "What? I can't hear you." Boor repeated, for probably the third time, that the guy owed him money for finding the phone, the owner said something in response and the next thing I know he was agreeing to give Boor the $10 he'd demanded. I heard Boor race down the stairs - my neighbor and I share a wall and our staircases are side-by-side - to get his 'reward' and then race back up the stairs.
I actually felt bad for the owner of the phone because he was also young, couldn't have been more than 24 or 25 and really wasn't sure what to do in the situation, but I guess he thought he needed to oblige Boor in his demand for money. To make the whole thing even worse, my neighbor, a grown woman about my age, didn't say a fucking word to stop this incident from happening. She actually allowed Boor to demand the money for finding and returning the phone.
If one of my kids had done what Boor did not only would he or she not get a dime out of the deal but there would be serious consequences for that child to pay once we were alone. There is something seriously wrong with any kid who demands a reward for doing anything for another person, and something even more wrong with a parent who stands by and lets it happen.
You're probably saying, "You're a parent and you didn't say anything." You're right, I didn't, for the simple reasons that I don't know the kid and he wasn't under my care at the time. You can rest assured that if one of my kids' friends did that I'd have stepped in and stopped it and then I'd have reported it to the parents of the child. It was completely disgusting behavior on the part of Boor and he and his parents make me utterly sick. Why his parents? Because they obviously haven't taught him that you can do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return but a 'thank you.'
These are the same spoiled kids who will grow up expecting to be paid for everything they do in life and will get pissed off and start all kinds of shit when they don't get their way. When they end up in trouble for it their parents will wonder why and how their kids got so spoiled. Either that or they'll agree with their kids for their spoiled attitudes. I'd love to find out how Boor would react if someone found a lost item of his and demanded a reward. I'd bet money that he'd take his possession and then tell the finder to fuck off about a reward.
I'm constantly telling my kids that just because they help someone with a favor doesn't mean they need to get paid for it, that it's better to just do something nice instead. It's too bad that more parents don't teach their kids the same thing. Perhaps if they did we'd see a lot less selfishness among kids today and a lot more gratuitous behavior. It is what it is, though, and I can't control the bullshit attitude of others, I can just hope it isn't catching and that my kids become infected with it.
Until next time...peace to all.
After almost a year I finally got a kitchen table and chairs today. I got a great deal on them - a six-foot table, with a leaf, and five chairs for $20 at a local thrift shop. They're not in the greatest condition but I can recover the seats and clean up the woodwork, perhaps even paint it or stain it. It's just really nice to be able to have my whole family sit down to eat a meal together that doesn't have to be in front of the TV.
We had a small round table and two plastic garden chairs. When we'd sit to eat the boys would get the chairs, Dolly would grab the step ladder and I'd bring in the chair from my computer desk. It was okay but not a lot of room; I'd have to put the food on the plates and put them on the table, no room to serve the food on the table. Now, though, it'll be different. We can all sit and have plenty of room to spread out. Tonight we still ate in the living room because it was a pick-and-go dinner; whatever you find in the fridge is what you're eating, and everybody was hungry at different times.
I put the table we were using on Craigslist and had responses almost immediately; I've got a guy coming tomorrow morning to get it. I didn't sell it for much because it isn't worth much but I'll have a little cash and he can do what he wants with the table. It needs to go because it's sitting in my living room right now taking up space. I also put my sofa on there because that's going, too. My ex is moving in with his new babe and he's giving me his sofa, which I really need.
I'll spend the next couple of days rearranging my household to make room for the new stuff to be brought in over the weekend. I was supposed to get it today but the boys that were supposed to help me couldn't so we changed the schedule. The weekend will work better for me, though, because the kids will be with Paul so they won't be under foot and asking to go with me to pick up the stuff. I'll have everything moved in and settled before they get home Tuesday afternoon. I can't wait.
I get really excited over stuff like this. Having a table to eat dinner on was the most urgent and the furniture from Paul is a bonus but I really need it. Right now all I have is a sofa so there really isn't any place for guests to sit. The kids and I have to sit side-by-side to watch TV together or they sit on the floor which is hardwood. Not too comfy. Paul's sofa is a big wrap-around with enough seating for about ten people. Plus it's got two recliners in it and a full-size pull-out bed. Or did he say it was queen-sized? I don't remember, all I know is that I'll have an extra bed if it's ever needed.
So that's my excitement of late; probably not that exciting for you but a source of great enjoyment for me. I love getting new things, especially when they're free, and even more when I really need them and can't afford them. It just gives me an all-over tingle. I also got Paul's practically-new mattress yesterday and I slept through the entire night last night with no back pain this morning. It's the little things that really make my day, can you tell? :)
Until next time...peace to all.
Well, MO Child Support has fucked me up again. They took my ex's tax return to pay for his arrears and they received the funds into my child support account this past Friday. I haven't received the money yet. To make matter worse, because they received the arrears payment from him they're busy doing their administrative work on my account and haven't even deposited my regular bi-weekly payment into my bank account. It was due today. I'm literally sitting here with $3.86 in my bank account and no gas in my van.
Every time they receive an additional payment for my account they fuck up my household by delaying my payment. I budget my money to make sure bills are paid in accordance with my money from Ursula and my child support and their delay throws everything off kilter. Now I'm going to be behind on my bills and can't even go food shopping because I'll run out of gas on the way to the store. Those State mother fuckers make me sick because they don't take into account that their administrative bullshit might just be fucking up the schedule of the recipient of the funds.
What's worse is that I can't talk directly to the people who do the payment disbursements, I can only speak to someone in customer service who's looking at the same website I am. They can tell me the money was received but they can't tell me when I'll get it. All they ever do is tell me to call back in a couple of days if I haven't received the money. It's, pretty much, a sit and wait scenario with them.
I'll call them in the morning if the money doesn't somehow miraculously appear in my bank account overnight and they'll check and say the money was received by them and I "should" have it within 48-72 hours. When I mention that the 72 hours has already passed the agent on the phone will say, "I'm sorry about that. Give it another two days and if you don't get it by Thursday night give a call back on Friday and we'll put in a request to the Enforcement Department to find out where the money is." Why do I have to call back on Friday? Why can't you call them right now and find out where my money is? I have bills to pay now.
When I do call back on Friday I'll speak to a different agent who still won't be able to tell me anything other than that a request will be sent to the ED and that I need to call back on Tuesday to see if the customer service department has an answer for me. Exactly how long do they expect me to wait for money that is due to me on a specific day? This is bullshit and I'm starting to get really pissed. Generally I don't get antsy when I have to wait for something; waiting sucks but most times it's all I can do. When I have to wait for money that belongs to me that I use to take care of my kids and our household I get really angry, and I'm headed that way now.
Granted, my bi-weekly payment is only a day late so far but we're not talking about a shipment of laundry detergent; we're talking about part of my income and delays with it suck ass. I'll call Child Support in the morning and again in the afternoon and the next morning and the next afternoon until someone gives me some definite information about where my money is. You wanna delay my mail for two days, fine; you wanna make me wait for a response to a resume, that's okay, too; but don't fuck with me when it comes to my kids and my household income. Give me my money and take care of your paperwork bullshit later. Make me wait and I won't take it lightly; someone is going to hear about it.
I'm breathing in and out now; thanks for letting me rant.
Until next time...peace to all.
It's been a rough couple of days, or was it a week? Whichever it was it was hard because the kids were out of school because of the snow. I could barely get any work done because of the noise, Zach had a couple of meltdowns, as did Dolly, I was having emotional ups and downs, and I couldn't keep my house clean no matter how hard I tried. The kids were constantly in and out playing in the snow so there were boots, sneakers, gloves, hats, coats, chunks of snow and ice, and whatever else they dropped on the floor all over the place. Not to mention all the wet clothes in the bathtub. Ugh.
They finally went back to school today, and they were all looking forward to it. YAY me! That hardly ever happens. I put them on the bus but I had a bunch of things to do this morning so I was moving from the time they left. Printing documents for my rental recertification, running to the bank for money to pay my rent, getting a money order for the rent, Dollar General for weekly supplies, then the recertification meeting - all before 10:30 this morning.
When I got home I figured I'd have something to eat and maybe get to relax a bit before they got home. I didn't sleep well at all last night; kept waking up every couple of hours but the times I did sleep offered funky dreams that I can still remember, in part, that didn't really mean anything. My first thought upon waking just before my alarm was that I'd had a bad night of sleep because when Zach went into one of his tantrums the other day he pulled my dream catcher off my wall. No dream catcher, messy dreams and even messier sleep. I just put it back up, though, and sent some positive energy to the universe so that I might have a restful sleep tonight. We'll see.
I didn't get a chance to rest once I got home today because my phone kept ringing, I didn't answer it, and huge chunks of snow and ice kept falling off my metal roof and smashing to the ground with loud booms. Tonight, though, I think I'll sleep okay because my day got better as the clocked ticked. I offered up two random acts of kindness within a five-minute span, the recertification meeting only took me twenty minutes, I got an invitation to a luncheon that is being given for the parents who volunteer at my kids' school, and a friend gave me information to find a song I was looking for and I actually found it. Thanks again for that, you have no idea how much I appreciate it.
I was already in a good mood before the song just because my funk had lifted a little bit but once I got it I was actually giddy with excitement, I kid you not. Once I had access to it I put it on my computer, and on my phone, and on my MP3 player. I can listen to it around the house, in my car, while I clean house, and while I'm sitting in my bed - which I did for over 90 minutes tonight. I set my media player to repeat and the song just kept playing over and over again, much to my excessive delight.
It's amazing how a little piece of information can make me so happy but I'm not complaining. I'm still sitting here smiling and singing the song in my head. All the little things today just added up to a good day for me and now I know I can go to sleep happy and, fingers crossed, sleep through the night. If I can keep the positive energy going I may be able to keep the funk away and actually continue to have pleasant days. If they start to go south I'll just hit the play button, listen to the song, and drive the funk in the opposite direction. For now I'm going to attempt to get some rest and wake up smiling in the morning.
Oh, what was the song, you ask? "Hello, Hello" by Elton John and Lady Gaga.
Until next time...peace to all.
