Same Old, Same Old

Did you miss me? Sure you did, you know you did. I'm sorry I haven't been here but there hasn't been much to tell over the past couple of weeks. Everything is just moving forward day by day. The kids go to school, I do my work for Ursula, and I'm doing what I have to do for the FEC because I'm still getting cash assistance.

I haven't been able to do the volunteer work because my van is still without an alternator and the system is slow at helping me get it repaired. I'm one step closer, though, because after making an assertive yet polite phone call to my case manager the other day and then talking to someone else I know in the agency they may be able to combine their resources to get my van up and running. I'll find out on Monday.

I've had to beg rides off of friends and neighbors to do anything that was further than a mile or two from the house, otherwise I walk. Sometimes one of the kids will come with me, other times I go by myself while they're at school. It's good exercise and I don't mind walking but when it's below freezing outside it's a bit much. Luckily I've been able to get groceries from the local dollar store for the past two weeks but today I did ask my neighbor to take me to the supermarket. We're supposed to have a snow storm this weekend and a few little items wouldn't have helped; I needed a larger supply of food and multiple trips in knee-deep snow over the weekend was out of the question.

My ex-husband moved out of state last Sunday; he moved to NC to stay with his cousin until he gets on his feet. How long that will take I have no idea. He's got certain patterns that he tends to follow and he's already fallen into them in the past six days. He's been gone almost a week and has only texted to the kids twice; he bought us all gifts before he left but hasn't offered any cash; and he's spent the first week there not doing anything with regard to looking for work. That's him and I can't change him. C'est la vie, right?

I, on the other hand, have had a few offers from retail outlets offering me jobs at minimum wage, part time, working nights and weekends. Unfortunately, that won't work for me. Part-time minimum-wage work won't pay even part of my bills when I'd have to pay someone to watch my kids nights and weekend days. I'd literally be working to pay for child care.

I did have one decent offer from an online tutoring company. It was still part time but it paid more than minimum wage and I'd be working from home during the hours my kids were in school. Nice, right? I thought so until they screwed up the times on their own training sessions that they assigned me to - twice in three days. Imagine that. After the second screw-up I didn't feel at all comfortable working for a company that could make such serious errors with their own training classes.

What would happen when they gave me the wrong time for a tutoring session and I showed up late or not at all? Or when my pay wasn't deposited when it was supposed to be? Too many questions were running through my head about their ability to efficiently run the company even though all the reviews I'd read said it was a good company to work for. I called and emailed HR about it and never got a response, and even when I emailed again to tell them I wouldn't be working for them I didn't get a response. Nice company, eh? So I'm back at square one but at least I'm trying.

It's all good, though, because I know everything will work out the way it's supposed to, it always does. Regardless of what my ex does with his time at least I know I'm doing what I have to do for my kids and me and I'm happy about that and proud of myself. With him gone my kids are less stressed and Zach, the one who hurts the most over it, has had a few outbursts but has bounced back easier this time than the last three times my ex left the kids. Zach's still upset about it but he knows I'll be here for him no matter what.

So that's basically it for the past couple of weeks. Nothing exciting, just one day running into the next. When I come back in a couple of days I'm hoping to have good news to report. I woke up in a really good mood today so I know positive change is coming my way and I can't wait to tell you all about it. Everything is falling into place. "I know it. You know it. Even Yellow Dog knows it." (If you don't understand the reference, JFGI ;) )

Until next time... peace to all.