I Made It Through...

I made it through another Christmas. The stress began just around Halloween when stores began stocking Christmas shelves, right next to the Halloween shelves. I see Christmas and my nerves tense, my brain begins to race, my anxiety level rises and I get really, really, cranky - for the next seven weeks or so.

It's the same thing every year but this year was a little more rough than usual. My funds this year were extremely low because Rex had only made two child support payments since he started working in August so I was busy catching up on past-due bills and didn't have much left for gifts. My van is also still not running so any shopping I did this year had to be within walking distance unless I could get a neighbor to drive me across town. I tried to stay positive - everything would work out for us.

I signed up for Christmas assistance at Dolly's school and they came through for us. A friend had also signed up so she drove me up there on pick-up day to get the gifts for our kids. A friend sent me some money and another friend sent me a Walmart gift card - both big blessings for us. I asked a neighbor to drive me up to Walmart so I could get some shopping done and my kids were covered. It was going to be a lean Christmas but at least they had what they wanted off their lists.

Then a couple of teachers at Ty's school showed up with a pile of wrapped gifts for all of us. I was awed and shocked and so grateful I started to cry. A few days later they showed up again with more wrapped gifts for the kids that a group of high schoolers had gotten. More tears. My kids were going to have an awesome holiday and my stress level dropped a little.

Their grandfather and step-grandmother even sent each of the kids a Walmart gift card while their dad - Rex - sent absolutely nothing. Nor did his mother. Rex's excuse was that after he'd paid child support and for insurance for the kids his previous two paychecks only amounted to $200 combined. BULLSHIT!! He made more than that, he just didn't want to part with it for whatever his selfish reasons. I know it. You know it. Even Yellow Dog knows it.

It didn't matter, though. The universe had come through with lots of positives and bonuses for us and the holiday was a big success. All the kids were thrilled with their gifts and we had a great day. A HUGE thank you goes out to all the teachers, students, donors and, especially, the friends who were kind enough to help me this year. I'm grateful beyond words and will some day find a way to make it up to everyone whether I pay it back or pay it forward in your names.

My nerves have relaxed, my brain has stopped racing, my anxiety level has dropped drastically and my crankiness has vanished - at least until next Halloween. Right now I'm going to concentrate on keeping the positive going and just let go and enjoy the ride, and if I keep it up perhaps next Christmas won't be so stressful. Even if it is - and I know it won't be - I know I'll make it through just like I do every year.

Until next time... peace to all.