You Ought to be Ashamed - Every One of You

For Thanksgiving the kids and I had a treat. My former in-laws - your father (Gpa) and stepmother (Gma) - came to visit us for a few days. It was the first time we'd seen them in about five years, but it wasn't the first time we've spoken to them as Gma and I speak on a regular basis - whether by text or phone call. Thanksgiving was wonderful for all of us. While they were here they made arrangements and paid for airfare for the kids to go visit them in New York over the Christmas/New Year break. The kids were ecstatic, and I was so excited for them. Yes, I was offered to make the trip also but I declined. I don't like to fly but I also wanted to give us all a break from each other; we've been together almost every single day for the past eight years. So the trip was planned and the kids couldn't wait to go.

They arrived on midnight of December 22nd and didn't come home until January 2nd. They had a wonderful time going places and visiting with Gma's daughters and their kids. The cousins all got to know each other, Gma and Gpa were there, aunts and an uncle; there was laughter, love, fun, and the kids couldn't have been happier. Except for two things: you - their father, and the rest of the family on your mother's side.

The kids were there for a solid 11 days and you barely made time to see them. You visited for a few hours the night the kids arrived but only stayed for maybe two hours; and the majority of the time you were there you were playing video games with Zach while Ty watched, which means you spent almost no time with Dolly. How sad is that? Then you invited them to a Christmas party the next night at your friends' house. The boys accepted but Dolly chose to stay home with her cousins, baking cookies and having fun with people she knows. Why the boys decided to go to the party is beyond me, but I guess they figured they'd get to spend time with you or that maybe there would be kids their ages there, not just a group of adults that they didn't know.

You were pissed off that Gpa drove them to the party - because you don't have a valid license - and you spent maybe an hour with them before you passed out on the sofa. Did you pre-game the party or did you only start drinking when you got there and the mix of alcohol and pain meds was too much for you to handle? We'll never know because you'll never tell anyone the truth. Ty ended up calling Gma to have Gpa come pick them up from the party and the only way you knew was because one of your friends woke you just before the boys left. From what the boys tell me, your friends were seriously disappointed in your behavior and felt bad for the boys. I can't even tell you how lousy the boys felt.

Your mother made arrangements to visit them but stayed only an hour claiming she'd just gotten off work and needed to go home to get some sleep. At 4:30 in the afternoon? Seriously? Whatever. She did, however, make arrangements to visit them a few days later but she wanted them to pick her up saying her car doesn't work well in the snow. Give me a break! Regardless, they picked her up, she visited, had dinner with them and was then driven home. It was more than you did but it was still all they kids got as far as visits from her. I guess they couldn't expect more given that she doesn't even speak to them at all at any other time.

The kids didn't see you again after that first Saturday even though you'd made plans to see them the following Friday night. You even spoke to me on the phone and I told you about the few plans they had to visit other people - my friends - on two specific days but that they were available every day from mid-afternoon on, most of the day on Friday and all day Saturday. I told you that myself; I even told you they were looking forward to seeing you Friday night. Yet you didn't see them; you made excuses claiming no solid plans had been made but you never followed up with them after that or tried to make alternate plans. You even told Ty, after they got home, that you were never told they had free time while they were there. You fucking lied to him to cover your own ass!!!

Why? Because you weren't happy with the fact that you had to go through your father and stepmother to make arrangements to see the kids. It wasn't on your terms so you decided not to see them at all. Guess what! They paid for the airfare and made the arrangements for the kids to visit there. We also told the kids they could see you whenever they wanted. Problem was, they wanted; you didn't. You're pathetic!!! You didn't even get them gifts for the holiday, making more excuses. I still haven't gotten word on when you'll be mailing the gifts like you said you would. I guess they'll just live with the added disappointment.

Your entire maternal side of your family is just as pathetic as you are. You saw them for a total of three hours, your mother spent only a few hours with them, but the rest of your family - aunts, uncles, cousins - not one of them attempted to contact the kids to even say hello. NOT ONE!!! And don't tell me they didn't know the kids were there because they were putting 'like's on the photos I was posting on Facebook. Even if they didn't see the pics on Facebook they heard the kids were there through your very extensive family gossip train. They fucking knew but they didn't give a shit. All of you ought to be ashamed of yourselves. You talk about family being the most important thing in life but that means only those closest to you, those in your inner circle.

These kids left to come back home and your mother texted Ty to tell them goodbye. She fucking texted! She couldn't even call and speak to each one of them. What did you do? Not a fucking thing! You didn't even know they'd come back until Ty texted you to thank you for the very late birthday gift you'd ordered for him, the gift that arrived while he was gone. Then you told him that next time they visit New York they'll stay with you so you can spend time together? Fat chance of that. They don't want to spend time alone with you and you couldn't afford the travel arrangements even if they did; you haven't paid child support in over a year!!!

These kids are so disappointed and heartbroken over the way they were treated by you and your family that I'm not sure they even want to know you. I can't come close to describing the way I feel for the way they were treated. You and your family are heartless and cruel and don't give a shit about these kids, and there is no way possible that you'll ever convince me that you do. But it's not me you need to convince anyway; it's the kids. The fact of the matter, though, is that none of you will ever know the true wonder and joy of having these kids in your lives on a regular basis...never! They have Gma, Gpa, all the family in that group; they have my sister and her son...and they have me. They have me, and I have them; and I'll be forever grateful for that.

Until next time...peace to all.