I Know Why the Child is Rude

When my kids were younger they'd come inside from playing and tell me "Mary called me ugly", or "John pushed me down". My first question to whichever child was speaking was, "What did you do to Mary/John?". I never just believed my child first thing because kids do make up stories to stay out of trouble. "The Hell" you say. No! It's true! I've seen it first hand - with my kids, and with your kids.

I see it every single day on the school bus. Every. Single. Day. Yet you choose to believe that your child is the perfect little angel who never does anything wrong. It's always some other kid who's at fault. Or your child is just having a bad day. Guess what! You are so very wrong! And that is exactly why kids today are coddled and entitled without an ounce of respect for anyone.

Your child doesn't sit properly on the bus. She's turning around at every instance, standing in her seat, leaning into the aisle. When that misconduct arrives home with her you call the bus barn and complain. "Well she can't fit in her seat when there are two other children there with her." Honey, your daughter is in kindergarten. She can sit three to a seat with plenty of room to spare. I've got middle and high schoolers who sit three to a seat and they're a helluva lot bigger than your little girl.

"Well, his seatmate pushed him into the aisle. It's not my son's fault." Actually, his seatmate is one of the quietest little boys on the bus. Never makes a sound, never causes a bit of trouble. He's always polite, sits properly, and keeps to himself. Your son, however, does not. Your son is leaning into the aisle poking the kid in the seat behind him. "Well that kid must have done something to my kid first." Yeah, not really.

I especially love it when your child gets a misconduct for improper behavior and you call the bus barn complaining that your child comes home every week telling you they're being picked on by another kid. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other, but when your child's behavior is mentioned to you by my supervisor you completely ignore him and continue to talk about how you think 'the bully' ought to be handled and where you want your child to sit. Sugarplum, your kid already sits right behind me so I can keep an eye on him/her because of bad behavior. And the so-called offending child sits nowhere in that vicinity. What?!

See, I've come to realize that it's not the kids who are the problem; it's their parents. Parents who absolutely refuse to believe that their child could be anything but perfect. I know they're not perfect; I see it every day. I've seen it in person, and I've confirmed it on the video tape - which has excellent visual and audio quality, by the way. I've seen your child standing in the seat, leaning in the aisle, using his/her backpack to hit the student across the aisle, and then looking at me in the mirror, realizing he/she has been caught and plopping back down in the seat, trying to act innocent. It doesn't work that way.

I've asked you repeatedly to speak to your child about proper behavior and seating so it's not a distraction to me while I'm trying to drive. You've admitted that everybody, including me, needs to be safe on the bus, yet you absolutely refuse to do anything about your child's behavior because "That other kid did this. What are you going to do about it?" I don't care what that other kid did right now; I'm talking to you about your kid but you don't want to hear it. Sorry, sweetie, but your kid is NOT perfect and causes a bigger distraction than "that other kid".

Oh, and here's a little secret, when your child gets off the bus telling you that someone hit him/her and I tell you it's impossible, it's actually not because your kid sits alone. Why? Because your kid is rude and nobody wants to sit with him/her. Psst. Maybe your kid just wants some attention because he/she didn't get any on the bus. Never thought of that did you? Your kid might just be making stuff up. Time to face the facts.

But you won't. You will never believe that your child is a problem on the bus. You will never admit that your child is anything less than perfect. You will always find someone else to blame, whether it's another child on the bus, me picking on your kid, or my supervisors who just don't care. So you'll report all of us to administration and they'll jump in and they'll watch the videos and they'll tell you your kid is a problem on the bus and you still won't believe it. And your child will grow up thinking that he or she can do no wrong and will continue to be rude and disrespectful into adulthood, and will continue to blame others for anything that goes wrong.

I love your child and have great hope that he or she will do great things, but the behavior has got to change first. Unfortunately I don't think that will ever happen as long as you, as a parent, continue to neglect your child by refusing to teach him or her about accountability and respect, and continue coddling and enabling bad behavior. It makes me sad for these children, and it makes me even sadder for their parents who haven't got a clue.

Until next time...peace to all.

When I Lost You - In Memoriam - Corey Cohron

September 1, 2019. There was a storm down by you in Florida and it was predicted to turn into a hurricane. I told you you could come stay with the kids and me if wanted so you wouldn't be alone. You declined so I told you to stay safe and that I loved you. That was the last time we spoke.

On October 2, 2019 I got up at 5:00am the way I usually do and got ready for work. About five minutes before I walked out the door with Dolly in tow I checked my phone and there was a Facebook notification showing so I decided to see what it was. You had a fun page - Corey Wants to Know - and the notification came from that page. You used it to ask silly questions and opinions so I was ready to see what you were asking that morning so I could get a laugh before I had to drive my bus.

I didn't laugh. Your friend Crystal had posted a message. A message that told the members of the group that you had passed on. She didn't have any other information other than that she'd found out you'd died earlier in September. My heart stopped. I couldn't breathe. My sister couldn't be dead. I confirmed with Crystal what she had posted and told her I hadn't known; nobody told me. Nobody told any of us. Your ex-husband, my ex-brother-in-law, claimed, when I finally spoke with him, that he didn't have any contact information for anyone in the family. I call bullshit but it was what it was.

I notified our family and friends during my break at work. I tried to find out about arranging a service for you. Your ex said Liam wasn't interested in a service; that Liam was having a hard enough time dealing with the loss of his mom and he didn't want to revisit it at a public service. So I did it myself. I performed a service for you, my sister, in a live stream video within a private memorial group I set up for you on Facebook.

Ty and I made memorial collage videos using pictures of you, of us, of our family and friends, and set them to two beautiful songs. We showed them during your service and we lit candles in your honor. I spoke off the cuff using some basic notes I'd made beforehand. I talked about us as kids, how we got along and didn't get along, and even how we had times where we didn't speak at all.

I spoke about you losing Wil, the oldest of your two sons, and how it changed you. I told the group how you'd tell me that you knew when Wil was around you at times, and how proud of Liam you were with his accomplishments. I spoke about how much you loved both of your boys. And I told them about what a wonderful person you were, and how you touched the lives of everyone you met. They all agreed with me and, with candles lit, we ended the service and moved forward with our lives.

You didn't speak to anyone often which is why nobody was really concerned when we hadn't heard from you. You were busy and involved in so many things that nobody thought twice about you not posting on Facebook in a while. I don't regret not speaking to you more often because that's just the way we were. I'm not happy that you were alone when you left us. You were in so much pain from your headaches; you took your meds and lay down on the sofa to rest. You just never woke up. I'm not happy about that, but I am happy that the last thing I told you was that I loved you.

When we talked you always made me laugh until I cried. We griped to each other about lousy, failed marriages and ex-husbands; we laughed about the antics of our kids. We talked about everything under the sun, and sometimes about nothing at all. So many times over the past four months I've wanted to text or call to ask something or to share something only to remember that I can't.

You were a pain in my ass sometimes, and I was a pain in yours other times. We grew up together, we were close, we were distant. We agreed, we disagreed, we agreed to disagree. Regardless of our situation I knew you would always be there for me. And now you're not. You were my friend, my comic relief, my shoulder to cry on, my proud-mama sound board. Best and most of all, you were my sister. I love and miss you with all my heart, Corey. Shine bright wherever you are.

Until next time...peace to all.