When I Lost You - In Memoriam - Corey Cohron

September 1, 2019. There was a storm down by you in Florida and it was predicted to turn into a hurricane. I told you you could come stay with the kids and me if wanted so you wouldn't be alone. You declined so I told you to stay safe and that I loved you. That was the last time we spoke.

On October 2, 2019 I got up at 5:00am the way I usually do and got ready for work. About five minutes before I walked out the door with Dolly in tow I checked my phone and there was a Facebook notification showing so I decided to see what it was. You had a fun page - Corey Wants to Know - and the notification came from that page. You used it to ask silly questions and opinions so I was ready to see what you were asking that morning so I could get a laugh before I had to drive my bus.

I didn't laugh. Your friend Crystal had posted a message. A message that told the members of the group that you had passed on. She didn't have any other information other than that she'd found out you'd died earlier in September. My heart stopped. I couldn't breathe. My sister couldn't be dead. I confirmed with Crystal what she had posted and told her I hadn't known; nobody told me. Nobody told any of us. Your ex-husband, my ex-brother-in-law, claimed, when I finally spoke with him, that he didn't have any contact information for anyone in the family. I call bullshit but it was what it was.

I notified our family and friends during my break at work. I tried to find out about arranging a service for you. Your ex said Liam wasn't interested in a service; that Liam was having a hard enough time dealing with the loss of his mom and he didn't want to revisit it at a public service. So I did it myself. I performed a service for you, my sister, in a live stream video within a private memorial group I set up for you on Facebook.

Ty and I made memorial collage videos using pictures of you, of us, of our family and friends, and set them to two beautiful songs. We showed them during your service and we lit candles in your honor. I spoke off the cuff using some basic notes I'd made beforehand. I talked about us as kids, how we got along and didn't get along, and even how we had times where we didn't speak at all.

I spoke about you losing Wil, the oldest of your two sons, and how it changed you. I told the group how you'd tell me that you knew when Wil was around you at times, and how proud of Liam you were with his accomplishments. I spoke about how much you loved both of your boys. And I told them about what a wonderful person you were, and how you touched the lives of everyone you met. They all agreed with me and, with candles lit, we ended the service and moved forward with our lives.

You didn't speak to anyone often which is why nobody was really concerned when we hadn't heard from you. You were busy and involved in so many things that nobody thought twice about you not posting on Facebook in a while. I don't regret not speaking to you more often because that's just the way we were. I'm not happy that you were alone when you left us. You were in so much pain from your headaches; you took your meds and lay down on the sofa to rest. You just never woke up. I'm not happy about that, but I am happy that the last thing I told you was that I loved you.

When we talked you always made me laugh until I cried. We griped to each other about lousy, failed marriages and ex-husbands; we laughed about the antics of our kids. We talked about everything under the sun, and sometimes about nothing at all. So many times over the past four months I've wanted to text or call to ask something or to share something only to remember that I can't.

You were a pain in my ass sometimes, and I was a pain in yours other times. We grew up together, we were close, we were distant. We agreed, we disagreed, we agreed to disagree. Regardless of our situation I knew you would always be there for me. And now you're not. You were my friend, my comic relief, my shoulder to cry on, my proud-mama sound board. Best and most of all, you were my sister. I love and miss you with all my heart, Corey. Shine bright wherever you are.

Until next time...peace to all.