Pigeon Butt

I started my final term in school last Wednesday and, although the classes are interesting, my back is not enjoying them. When I still lived at home with my parents, about 17 years ago, my room was in the dormered attic and the stairs had no carpeting or runner. While I was on the phone one day, I slipped and fell all the way to the bottom of the staircase, on my tail bone, and crashed into the closed door at the bottom. My arm, in trying to catch myself, got tangled in the handrail that ran alongside the stairs. While I had a couple of bruises, it was my back that was damaged the most. I had a huge black and blue at the base of my spine and it took me about a week to be able to walk again.

To this day, my lower back still bothers me if I sit or stand too long, and when I clean or do heavy lifting, I really feel it the next day. I cleaned the house this past Friday, to get the house ready for my daughter's third birthday party, and I had to do it quickly - before the boys returned home from school. Of course my back was going to hurt, as it always does. But dealing with the party and then having to sit at the computer to do my school work didn't help my back work itself out yet. The sitting is actually radiating the pain to my upper back. I am now walking around with what an ex-boyfriend affectionately called "pigeon butt."

Yes, it's funny, you can laugh. I start to stand up only to find out that I can't straighten all the way up, so I'm bent slightly forward at the waist with my butt sticking out behind me. Imagine a pigeon walking. Even though it hurts, I'm used to it but it's a sight to see me trying to do anything when I can't walk straight or quickly. My kids will be calling me from the next room, "Hurry, Mom! You have to see this commercial!" And there I am shuffling along like a 90-year-old woman - feet barely lifting off the floor, using doorjambs and furniture for balance, with my butt sticking out, saying, "I'm coming. I'm on my way. Here I come. I'm getting there. I'm running as fast as I can." :) When I go out in public it's even more amusing because of the looks that I get.

Anything can set it off, too; not just cleaning or lifting. One time I bent to pick up a towel off the bathroom floor, felt a sharp pinch, and that was that. That time I actually looked like I lost something on the ground and was desperately trying to find it; at least for the first couple of hours, anyway. After I could straighten up a bit, I couldn't stand for any length of time without rocking back and forth on my feet to take the pressure off my back. People are sympathetic, though - sometimes. I was standing in line at a donut shop later that day, rocking and rocking, and I must have had a pained look on my face because the man standing next to me asked if my back was the problem. At my ascent, he helped me order then walked me to my car. That was really nice. Other times people just get irritated that I'm taking up too much of their time. Poo on them!

I can laugh about it, though, but I have yet to find anything that will actually take the pain far, far away. Heating pads and ice packs work for a short time; exercise helps - when I can do it; and my kids will walk on my back for me, when I really need it. I've tried hanging, upside-down, from low tree branches; and twisting to try to get the kinks out; however, they're also only temporary solutions. I don't have the money for a chiropractor, and I can't afford gravity boots. So if anyone out there has seen, or knows of, a cure for "pigeon butt," please pass it along. I'm starting to collect birds at my window looking for food from their mama. :)