Can an intimate relationship between two people ever be balanced? “In real life” does it actually exist? The reason I’m asking is because I don’t think I’ve ever seen it, except in movies. Most of the TV shows I watch all have the wife/Mom being the dominant figure in the husband/wife relationship. Mom sets the rules; Dad defers to her when the kids have made bad choices; Mom tells Dad what he will and won’t wear; and many other examples but I won’t name them all. You’ve seen that, right?
In movies it seems like the couples are either really happy and discuss and compromise on what needs to be done on every issue; or the couples are having serious problems and can’t get along at all, pretty much because one wants more power than the other. I think that’s why, anyway. And in my actual life I’ve never seen any couple that existed together without that power struggle, usually with the woman winning. Even my own parents were like that. They would discuss issues but my dad would always tell my mom, “Whatever you want.” What’s up with that? Why the need for discussion at all if you’re only going to give in anyway? Doesn’t make sense to me.
Maybe that’s why I don’t really see the reason to get back into a relationship. I don’t know; I haven’t given it much thought. I don’t even know why I’m thinking about it tonight, it’s just there and floating around in my head. But you know about my last relationship. Talk about a power struggle. He had the power, and I struggled. No mystery there. Each of my relationships in the past got worse as time went on. Yes, the relationship got worse, but what I really mean is that #2 was worse than #1, and #3 was worse than #2, and so one. Each relationship was worse than the last, so here I am.
Anyway, back to my original question. Does a balanced relationship really exist where Mom and Dad, or whatever the partners may be, have equal say in matters of the home and heart? I don’t know that it does; I’ve never seen it personally and we all know that movies aren’t “real” by definition. I guess if the couple is in love (if even that exists), though, they can have a good balancing act right? Since I’ve never had a good relationship, and I’ve already said in other blog posts that I’ve never been in love, I’m just curious to know if and how it happens that people have good relationships.
I don’t know why I want to know, I’m just tired of seeing people on TV constantly fighting and the dad giving in to whatever the mom wants. It never fails that one of the kids will go to the dad asking for something saying, “Well you can make a decision, too, Dad,” and the dad will respond with something like, “Have you met your mother?” This shows that Mom is the boss. What gives? It’s really irritating but I guess it needn’t be since I'm so used to the women who claim to be in good relationships being the ones who make most of the final decisions. Maybe I just got the idea from all the movies I watch.
Yes, movies aren’t real but maybe they’re trying to portray relationships as we’d like them to be, and TV shows are giving us the true version of what life is actually like. Hmmm…I think I’ve hit on something in my own little reality here. Let’s see: I’ve said that I’ve never known any couple who was in a truly equal partnership even though they claim to be happy; and what I’ve seen on TV makes real life look like “Pleasantville.” So it must be the movies that are making me think that there is real happiness and love out there, when in all actuality they don't really exist. I get it now. Look at that, I’ve had a major breakthrough and didn’t even mean to. I was just speculating tonight.
Now, though, I can definitely say that I won’t be rushing into any type of relationship any time soon. There’s no need, right? I can live in a fantasy world whenever I watch a movie and my life is, pretty much, based in fantasy since I keep trying to obtain the unobtainable; and I can experience real life when I watch TV, hang with friends, and visit my own memories. I’ve got all the bases covered and never have to leave my own room if I don’t want to. So I guess I’m good here. I appreciate you listening to my blather. If I confused you, I didn’t mean to; you already know that I’m a bit nutty at times. Tonight just happens to be one of those nights, but I feel better now; thanks for asking.
Until next time…peace to all.
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