The Joy of Mind Games

What’s bugging me right now is that I have a lot to say but can’t. Not that I’m incapable of saying it, it all just runs together and it’s hard to separate it into pieces so the pieces will all make sense. Does that make sense? Probably not but you know how confusing I can be sometimes, running off on tangents and whatnot. Problem right now is that each tangent is a completely different story unto itself.

I want to talk about Ty’s new comic strip that he’s writing and drawing. It’s hilarious. It makes no sense whatsoever but it makes me laugh my ass off. I’ve posted a couple of installments on my Facebook page so my friends can read and share them. I’ll put them on here one day, when my mind is clear enough to actually discuss them and the process of how they came to be.

I want to talk about life here in the shelter but there isn’t much I can say while I’m still living here. I can tell you all about the rules and regulations, and the families that come and go, and the staff members that are supposed to be helping us residents but don’t, and all the other shit that comes with the territory. Unfortunately, I don’t have my thoughts in order on that just yet either. So much has happened and is still happening that it’ll all come out sounding like a garbled mess or, I fear, someone from the corporate office or DSS will see it when I don’t want them to at this point in time.

I could tell you about how shelter life is taking its toll on the kids and me and how our lack of privacy is turning us all into raving lunatics. No, you can’t imagine what it’s like if you’ve never had to live in a homeless shelter before, so please don’t try. You don’t really want to know anyway because it’s horrible. My poor kids are climbing the walls in here and the fact that they can’t really play outside because the weather has gotten colder lately is making it all that much worse. Maybe I’ll talk about that tomorrow. I don’t know, I haven’t really decided yet.

I will tell you, however, how I’ve been dealing with the stress of all the negativity lately. Ty’s comics aren’t negative, they just make me laugh and help me relieve some of my stress. I spend my time messing with my ex’s current girlfriend, B. I told you two blogs ago that I spend a lot of time texting and talking with my ex’s ex, D, right? Well, as it turns out, the crazy B is even crazier than we thought in the beginning. She is almost certifiable; at least she seems to be from her texts to me. She really bugs me, though. Ask me how, I dare you. See, I knew you’d ask even though you know the answer isn’t all that exciting.

This chick never, and I mean never with a capital N-E-V-E-R, asks me a direct question. She texts me with some kind of statements or questions that I have to decipher before I can answer. Basically she’s trying to get me to confirm or deny something that Paul, my ex for those of you who may not know him yet, told her, but she won’t come right out and ask me. That’s sneaky and I don’t like sneaky. Paul is that way and it makes my skin crawl.

So I figure, if she’s going to play games with me, I’ll give it right back to her. She’ll text me saying something like, “You called Paul at work today to discuss the automated system. I hope it all worked out.” No, dumbass, I didn’t call Paul at work today; I text him, I don’t call him. And I don’t know what fucking automated system you’re talking about either. But I don’t tell her that. What she’s trying to find out is if D called Paul at work. See, there’s a lady who works with Paul who is also a friend/former manager of B who tells B every time Paul gets a call at work from a woman. That’s creepy in and of itself, her tattling, but a story for another blog. So when B finds out a woman called him, she’ll ask him about it and will then text me to verify what he’s told her. Since he doesn’t clue me in to what’s going on, I just make up my own shit to tell her. I never say anything to get him in trouble because that’s not who I am. I don’t like him but would never deliberately hurt him. I just hedge my answers the way she hedges her questions.

D loves when I do that. She doesn’t like playing mind games with anyone but it’s hilarious to her when I do it to B. I actually do it with everyone, especially if a person is an easy target; it’s just fun to mess with people sometimes. Anyway, B will text me, I’ll forward the text to D, she and I will discuss the message, and I’ll respond with something that leaves B scratching her head or climbing the walls. I’m pretty sure of that even though I’m nowhere near her.

She actually texted me last week because my kids had mid-winter recess this past week. I don’t like the fact that they have my kids’ school schedule and that she knows everything that’s going on in my life but there’s nothing I can do about it. Friday, the kids’ last day of school before the break, she sent me a text, all excited, asking me what we were going to do for the vacation. I told her we were going on a road trip with D, who B really doesn’t like. She responded, still excited, asking where we were going and I made up some shit that we really hadn’t decided, so on and so on. She finally just wished us a great trip and even told me to tell D ‘hi’ for her. Seriously? I told you she’s nuts.

Apparently she believed me, even though I’ve told her in the past that we can’t get overnights out of the shelter because the State won’t approve bed holds for us. The only way the kids can spend the night out of here is on court-ordered visitation with their dad which they don’t get since he lives in IN. B knows all of this but went ballistic on Paul when he got home from work that night, screaming and yelling at him because D was going on a road trip with me and my kids, and she was ticked that the kids and I were going on a road trip at all. Paul called me and told me, that’s how I became privy to her reaction. I know, you’re thinking that I just said that I don’t say anything to her to get Paul in trouble. Her explosion on him wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know she’d get that pissed off so you can’t blame it on me.

I just like messing with her because she’s so easy to mess with. I spend time telling her that she needs to be more trusting of Paul, and that she needs to be less demanding, and all that crap, if she wants the relationship to work. Do I believe it? Oh Hell no! He’s never gonna change and their relationship won’t last much longer but it’s not my job to tell her that. I figure the longer I can keep him in IN the better off my kids and I are. It’s mean but I don’t care. At least I get some fun out of it and the laughter takes the edge off all the bullshit I have to deal with in this place. My laughter, I don’t think B’s having too much fun. It doesn’t matter, though; before you know it, she’ll be out of my life and I’ll have the next girlfriend to deal with. I can’t wait to see what kind of sicko he gets on the next go ‘round, she may be an easier target than this one is. More fun for me.

Until next time…peace to all.