Discussion Is a Two-Way Street

I’ve been sitting here for a while now trying to decide whether or not to discuss this issue and I finally decided that I want to put it out there. I have to preface it, though, by saying that I’m a critical thinker; I question everything. I also teach my kids to question everything. “I don’t care if your teacher told you that? What do you believe and why?” I make them think, and re-think, and ask questions on all sides of an argument. And I expect adults to do the same, although I think I’m expecting too much. I’ll tell you why.

A friend of mine posted something on Facebook about how she doesn’t believe in religion. She said it wasn’t intended to offend anyone; it was simply a reflection of her own beliefs. One of her friends, who apparently is very religious, got offended and began a verbal attack on what my friend had posted. Why? What was the point of the attack and why did she get so offended? Isn’t my friend allowed to have and express her own opinion?

It’s not my friend’s fault that her friend got offended but my friend then felt like she needed to further explain why she posted what she did, and why she believes what she believes. She actually tried to downplay it so her friend wouldn’t continue to be so angry. I think that was wrong. My friend ought not to have had to lighten her words simply because someone else disagreed with her. I guess she felt she needed to, though. That’s not fair, folks.

I really wanted to throw a wrench into the mix and make the religious chick explain her opinion and why she believes so whole-heartedly in her religion. I wanted to lay out a whole line of questions for her to answer with something other than “because it’s what I’ve always been taught/told.” I wanted to start a huge debate with her simply for the fact that I wanted to make her defend herself with solid facts. But I didn’t do it.

I did post that I thought the conversation was interesting and that I wanted to throw in the wrench but that I wasn’t going to. I haven’t seen a response yet because it’s late here, so I don’t know yet what my friend will say to my comment. I don’t want her to feel like she started a war just because she posted about her beliefs. She and I believe the same way so I’m sure she’ll be interested in my comments; she just may not want her friend to get any more offended than she already is.

I just want her friend to understand that there are two sides to every argument, sometimes more, and that she doesn’t have to stand on a belief just because someone told her to. I can’t recall ever meeting anyone in my life, so far, who, as a child, liked going to Sunday school or Catechism, or whatever class they had to attend for their religion. Everyone I ask tells me they hated it and they hated having religion forced on them as children. Yet, as adults, they believe what they were taught as kids. Why?

Didn’t anyone ever tell them it was okay to ask questions, to look for answers elsewhere? Granted, most people have their beliefs and are fine with mine, yet some people get downright defensive and antsy when I question why they believe what they do. That doesn’t make sense to me. From past experience, anyone I’ve ever known who got defensive was hiding something.

I’m not even just talking about religion here. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with healthy discussion on any topic yet so many people get offended when they get challenged. If you don’t want to discuss the topic just say so; don’t get angry and start throwing out a bunch of bullshit that has nothing to do with why you hold that particular opinion or belief. Either back up your beliefs, or shut up completely. And don’t make someone else feel bad because they don’t believe what you do, or because they question you about it. If that’s the way you want to be I’ll throw so many questions at you that you’ll end up more confused than when you started. That’s my guarantee to you.

Until next time… peace to all.