Real Girl vs. Just One of the Guys

What the heck is a "real girl", does anyone know? Can anyone explain that to me? I'm asking for a reason. In my life I've had four long-term relationships, with occasionally dating between them and each guy, in some way, has accused me of not being a "real girl." When I asked why I was given these answers, or variations thereof:

1) You always dress in jeans and Tees/sweatshirts;
2) You don't like shopping, or going out, all the time;
3) You don't ask for anything (gifts, money, assistance, etc.)
4) You don't wear make-up, jewelry;
5) You like 'weird' gifts;
6) You're like one of the guys.

I'm sure there were other answers, I just can't think of them off the top of my head; these all came flooding to the forefront just now. But they don't make any sense to me. So I'm asking you, the reader, do these qualities define what a "real girl" is?

I dress in jeans and Tees because I'm comfortable wearing them. I don't like dressing up unless I'm going to a "fancy" event. Most of my time is spent at home, running errands, or volunteering at the kids' schools. Why would I dress up to sit at home all day, or to go food shopping? My ex used to buy me clothing that he would've liked to see me in, but it wasn't my style: spandex dresses, print blouses, etc. Then he'd complain that I never wore any of it. We never went anywhere worthy of clothing like that.

With him and my other exes we only went to local dives if we ever did go anywhere. I'm not dressing up for that. Paul even complained that I never dressed up for when he got home from work. I was home all day with two toddlers spilling food, wiping their noses on me, causing chaos. I'm certainly not going to dress up in spandex and heels to vacuum the floor. What the fuck? I do wear dresses on occasion but I have to be in the mood.

I don't like shopping at all. I don't like crowds, I don't like rude people, and most times when I have to go shopping I run into inconsiderate, rude people who seem to lack any sort of common sense. I don't need to deal with that. So I do my food shopping in the mornings and make lists of anything else I need to I can get in and out of the stores as quickly as possible. And I've already mentioned that I'm a homebody; restaurants and movies are expensive, and bars are not my scene. I'd rather stay home.

I don't ask for gifts because anything I want I can get myself; I don't ask for money because I've usually got all I need; and I don't ask for assistance because whatever needs to be done I can do and get it done correctly. My exes all compared me to their previous girlfriends who were constantly pointing out things in store windows and "hinting" that they'd like to have it. I don't do that, sorry to disappoint.

I wore make-up when I was younger, at the age when my mom first gave me permission to and all my friends were wearing it. Then, at age 14 I stopped wearing it because it was too much trouble and a waste of time. I haven't worn it on a regular basis since; the only time I put on make-up is, again, for a "fancy" occasion or when the mood strikes, but it has to strike hard. And I do wear jewelry - an 'angel power' ring on my right hand, and three earrings in each ear. Why do I need more than that?

By "weird gifts" they were referring to the fact that I like practical things rather than showy things. I don't wearing diamonds or gold - any jewelry I wear is white gold or silver; I prefer to pick out my own clothing; I don't need fancy bath oils and gels or anything like that. I'd rather get a vacuum cleaner, or a basket of cleaning supplies, something that's useful to me that will save me money. The best gift anyone can give me is a gift card so I can use it when and how I need to. Nobody understands that.

And I have no clue what "one of the guys" means, I can only guess. I think it means that I have no problem joining a discussion with a group of men rather than sitting with the women bitching about women who aren't there. I don't like to gossip, I don't like to spend my time griping and complaining about my man, and I certainly don't want to have a girls' day at the mall. So does that qualify me as one of the guys? I don't know, do you?

I'm just me and I didn't realize there were specific criteria to qualify me to be a "real girl."  What does it matter anyway? Why can't I just be me and not have anyone making fun of me because I can belch with the best of them? What? Belching isn't lady-like? Sorry, but I'm not holding it in; I'm not disgusting with it but a burp is a burp and it needs to be released.

I'm not going to dress all girly-girl, or change who I am, just to get and keep a guy's attention; I have nobody to impress. You can either take me as I am or walk away, I don't care. I still want to know what a "real girl" is though so if any of you have an explanation I'd love to hear it. In the meantime I'm just going to continue being me, the not-real-girl that I am.

Until next time...peace to all.