Well, another school year is now finished. The last day of school over by us was Friday and I have to say I'm kind of glad about it. The last few weeks saw me running from school to school for different end-of-the-year functions. A talent show, Track Day, Field Day, a barbecue, a spring fling, a moving-up ceremony, and a couple of others, plus my usual volunteer day at Zach and Dolly's school. It was a bit hectic for me but fun for all of us. Trying to keep all the dates and times and schools straight was a bit maddening but I did it, of course, because that's my job. :)
The kids are also happy that it's over but Zach took it particularly hard this year. In the past six months we'd have a lot of difficulties with the kids' dad, Paul, and about three weeks ago he finally went over the top - Paul, not Zach. Because of all the problems Zach only felt comfortable around me and his teacher, Ms. H. and the thought of not being able to be around her all day broke him. He came home from school yesterday in tears because he's going to miss her.
No, he won't be able to see her next year because he won't be going to that school next year; he'll be going to the same school as Ty - hence the moving-up ceremony I mentioned earlier. I told him he'll still get to see Ms. H. when I go to back-to-school and meet-the-teacher nights and that he'll get to see her occasionally at school functions. That helped him a bit but he's still upset that he won't be able to have that one extra comfort zone every day. He'll have to work through it, though, and I'm sure he will.
They all start summer school on Tuesday and will go for the month of June. If you're read my posts over the years you know that school for the lower grades is optional and fun; it's not mandatory because they need it to be able to move on to the next grade. They take really fun classes in summer school while still learning. They're actually excited about it and so am I except for one thing; the hours of summer school suck.
The boys have to get on their bus at 6:50; during the regular school year I get up at 7:00 and get the kids up at 7:15 to get on the bus at 7:45. I'll now have to get up at 6:00 to get the boys up at 6:15 so they can walk down the block to get on the bus on time. Then they only attend school until 12:45 which means they'll be home by 1:30. Ack!! Dolly, however, doesn't get on her bus until an hour later and gets out of school at 3:30 putting her arrival time at about 4:00. She's in the lower elementary and both boys are in the upper elementary now. Why the times are staggered like that I have no idea but it makes it hard for the parents. It is what it is, though, so I'll deal with it as usual.
I still haven't decided what we'll do once summer school is out because they'll actually have almost seven weeks left before school starts again in August. Paul is supposed to get them for a week over the summer but I'm not sure that'll happen after the most recent incident but it's still a wait-and-see situation. While they're home with me I'll probably spend time taking them to the spray park and whatever else I can find to do that won't take all my money. We have plenty to do around here, it's just a matter of finding stuff that all three kids want to do at the same time. Yep, that'll be fun.
I don't have to worry about that just yet, though; one day at a time, right? Right. I just still can't believe this past year has gone by so quickly. We arrived back in MO at the end of the school year last year; as a matter of fact, we got back here the day before Zach's birthday which just passed so we've already passed the one-year anniversary of our return. Time sure does fly when you're not paying attention. I'll have to slow down a bit and learn to enjoy things more, maybe then I won't be writing this same stuff at the end of next school year. I'll start with the summer first and take things slowly. So far I seem to be on the right track, right Marty? ;)
Until next time...peace to all.
Whatever happened to common courtesy? Zach had a birthday on Tuesday - he turned 10 - and he wanted to invite a few kids from class to our house to celebrate with him. I told him that doing it on Tuesday would be a bad idea since he only gets off the bus at 4:00 and nobody would want to be bringing their kids over after school and just before dinner so I suggested that he invite them over for today, Saturday.
We had this conversation two weeks ago and he agreed with me so I dug out some invitations for him to take to school with him and give to the boys he wanted to invite. I told him what to put in each space - date, time, RSVP phone number, etc. He took them to school and was really excited to ask his favorite friends. Would you believe not one person RSVPd to the party?
I don't know what the deal is around here but in NY when you receive an invitation to a party you either accept or decline the invitation by the requested date. When we lived here the first time we tried sending invites to friends of the kids for their respective birthdays and the same thing happened. It's ridiculous because I have no idea how many to plan for if people don't tell me whether or not they'll be attending and it hurts the feelings of my kids.
Zach and I ran to the supermarket today to get some snacks and a giant cookie cake that he decided he wanted instead of a cheesecake. I also bought some frozen pizzas to bake and cut up so the kids would have something to eat. Oh, and we bought a tub of ice cream. We were all prepared and not one of the kids Zach invited showed up to help him celebrate his birthday. What the fuck is up with that?! It makes me sick, to say the least.
The only saving grace is that we already had the son of a friend spending the night, and two other boys, brothers, from across the cul-de-sac wanted to come over. So Zach had three friends here plus his brother and sister. They all played for a while outside while I made the pizza, they ate, played some more, and then had the cake and ice cream.
Zach appears to be happy with the day but I won't know for sure until it's all done and over with. He was really sad this morning when he told me not to buy anything because nobody was going to come anyway. That breaks my heart when my son has to deal with the fact that none of his school friends wanted to come over to celebrate with him. My kids go to every single party to which they're invited yet nobody ever comes to theirs. They didn't when we lived here the first time and they still don't.
I understand that kids around here are all involved in sports because their parents are sports fanatics but, seriously, to make a kid feel bad on his birthday because your kid's sporting event is so much more important is really unacceptable. There is no way to explain to a 10 year old that his friends can't come over yet again because they have to play their baseball, basketball, soccer game or that they have a practice. Kids don't understand that shit people!!! Especially Zachary. He's a great friend to everyone who knows him. Yes, he has his issues like any other kid but he doesn't deserve this.
He tends to take things personally. He's invited these kids over for play dates time and again yet they've always got something to do. I get apologies left and right from their parents, "Oh, I'm sorry. Todd has two baseball games this weekend," or "Mike has two practices and a game in the afternoon," or "Johnny will be gone for the weekend going hunting with his dad." Each of these answers is usually followed up with, "We'll definitely set another time for the boys to get together," but I never hear from any of the parents because they have their kids involved in so many fucking activities that the kids can't breathe. Let them be kids, for criminy's sake; stop trying to turn them into star athletes before they've even reached puberty.
Regardless of the activity going on at the time, there is absolutely no excuse to ignore a party invitation and the request for an RSVP. If you sent out invites and nobody called to let you know whether or not they were coming you'd be pissed. Well so am I. I'm pissed that you don't have the courtesy to respond and I'm pissed that you keep blowing my kid off for no good fucking reason whatsoever. When Zach decides that he doesn't want to hang out with your kid from now on you'll get to explain to your kid why and I hope you can make him understand that it's because his parents are dolts and that it's not his fault in any way. I'm betting you fail on that one because kids don't understand shit like this. Trust me, I know for a fact. I have to do deal with constantly.
Until next time...peace to all.
What the heck is wrong with being alone? I can't figure it out. I've been alone, single, for almost eight years. In that time I haven't had a date, no casual sex, no friend-with-benefits, I'm not anyone's booty call, and I've never been and never will be a one-night-stand for anyone. I'm okay with my situation; yes, sometimes it gets really lonely, even with the kids here, but I've never regretted not having a man in my life. So why is it that all my friends seem to think that being alone is the ultimate sin against nature?
Granted, I have one or two friends in my situation who aren't in a rush to fill any kind of void with a man but, for the most part, all of my other friends are either married, living with someone, seriously dating, or aggressively looking. I've also got some who jump from relationship to relationship. One doesn't work out so they move right along to the next one. Some of my friends have multiple kids from different men, and two are currently pregnant by the newest men in their lives; one has two kids already and the other has five already.
I have a male friend who spends his time chatting with girls on an Internet dating service, sometimes talking to 10 different girls at the same time; and a female friend who's got a tentative relationship going with a guy who's currently out of town yet she wants to get together with a male friend of mine for the time being. This same girl recently got out of a relationship with a guy she met months ago immediately following her break-up with a different guy. What the fuck is wrong with people?
Maybe it's just me but I see something terribly wrong here. How am I supposed to teach my kids to work on being themselves before getting into relationships when I constantly have to explain to them why this one is no longer dating that one but is now dating this new one? There dad is included in this scenario. He's been in some sort of relationship with eight different women over the past eight years, ever since we split up.
What's wrong with just being alone for a while, people? I don't see anything wrong with it. I've spent the last eight years working on me and who I am and what I want and don't want in a relationship. When the universe sees fit to put a man in my life I'll know whether or not it's going to work based on what I know about me. Nobody else I know, other than the two aforementioned friends, is willing to take the time to get to know who they really are before jumping into a relationship with someone new. "Well, this one's gone, time to move on to the next."
I can't control what my friends do but I can tell you I'm getting tired of them whining and complaining that they can't seem to find the right person, or that they really need to get laid so they're willing to take on the next person they encounter. None of them is willing to admit that they don't want to be alone, that they can't be alone. If you were to ask any one of them they'd all say they're fine being alone, they just choose not to be.
That's bullshit if you ask me. If they were willing to be alone they'd do it. They wouldn't be fucking up their lives, taking risks with things like disease or domestic violence, and they wouldn't be fucking up the lives of their kids by constantly bringing new mates into their houses. Kids see everything and they know what's going on. The only thing my friends are doing by constantly needing to be in a couple is screwing with their kids' heads and teaching them that rotating relationships is the way to go in life.
This is sad and I see it all day every day and I'm, quite frankly, sick of it. Yes, I might get lonely sometimes but I'll be damned if I'll screw up my kids because I want to be selfish; and I certainly won't take chances with my life by just picking the next guy who walks up to me and smiles. That's not fair to me, to him, or to my kids.
Maybe if more people spent some serious time alone to work on who they really are and what they want out of life the statistics on divorce and domestic violence would be a lot lower. I've already gotten to the point of telling my friends that I'm sick of their bullshit whining and complaining about their mistakes and I intend to continue telling them until I have to tell them to get lost because I've heard enough. Granted, I can't control what other people do with their lives, but I sure as Hell can control what I teach my kids and I intend to impress upon them the importance of single-dom before rushing into any heavy-duty relationships. It's the best I can do for them; as for the rest of you, if you can't shut the fuck up and get your shit together, you gotta go because I don't have time for your crap anymore. 'Nuff said.
Until next time...peace to all.
