Being Single: Try It, You Might Surprise Yourself and Actually Like It

What the heck is wrong with being alone? I can't figure it out. I've been alone, single, for almost eight years. In that time I haven't had a date, no casual sex, no friend-with-benefits, I'm not anyone's booty call, and I've never been and never will be a one-night-stand for anyone. I'm okay with my situation; yes, sometimes it gets really lonely, even with the kids here, but I've never regretted not having a man in my life. So why is it that all my friends seem to think that being alone is the ultimate sin against nature?

Granted, I have one or two friends in my situation who aren't in a rush to fill any kind of void with a man but, for the most part, all of my other friends are either married, living with someone, seriously dating, or aggressively looking. I've also got some who jump from relationship to relationship. One doesn't work out so they move right along to the next one. Some of my friends have multiple kids from different men, and two are currently pregnant by the newest men in their lives; one has two kids already and the other has five already.

I have a male friend who spends his time chatting with girls on an Internet dating service, sometimes talking to 10 different girls at the same time; and a female friend who's got a tentative relationship going with a guy who's currently out of town yet she wants to get together with a male friend of mine for the time being. This same girl recently got out of a relationship with a guy she met months ago immediately following her break-up with a different guy. What the fuck is wrong with people?

Maybe it's just me but I see something terribly wrong here. How am I supposed to teach my kids to work on being themselves before getting into relationships when I constantly have to explain to them why this one is no longer dating that one but is now dating this new one? There dad is included in this scenario. He's been in some sort of relationship with eight different women over the past eight years, ever since we split up.

What's wrong with just being alone for a while, people? I don't see anything wrong with it. I've spent the last eight years working on me and who I am and what I want and don't want in a relationship. When the universe sees fit to put a man in my life I'll know whether or not it's going to work based on what I know about me. Nobody else I know, other than the two aforementioned friends, is willing to take the time to get to know who they really are before jumping into a relationship with someone new. "Well, this one's gone, time to move on to the next."

I can't control what my friends do but I can tell you I'm getting tired of them whining and complaining that they can't seem to find the right person, or that they really need to get laid so they're willing to take on the next person they encounter. None of them is willing to admit that they don't want to be alone, that they can't be alone. If you were to ask any one of them they'd all say they're fine being alone, they just choose not to be.

That's bullshit if you ask me. If they were willing to be alone they'd do it. They wouldn't be fucking up their lives, taking risks with things like disease or domestic violence, and they wouldn't be fucking up the lives of their kids by constantly bringing new mates into their houses. Kids see everything and they know what's going on. The only thing my friends are doing by constantly needing to be in a couple is screwing with their kids' heads and teaching them that rotating relationships is the way to go in life.

This is sad and I see it all day every day and I'm, quite frankly, sick of it. Yes, I might get lonely sometimes but I'll be damned if I'll screw up my kids because I want to be selfish; and I certainly won't take chances with my life by just picking the next guy who walks up to me and smiles. That's not fair to me, to him, or to my kids.

Maybe if more people spent some serious time alone to work on who they really are and what they want out of life the statistics on divorce and domestic violence would be a lot lower.  I've already gotten to the point of telling my friends that I'm sick of their bullshit whining and complaining about their mistakes and I intend to continue telling them until I have to tell them to get lost because I've heard enough. Granted, I can't control what other people do with their lives, but I sure as Hell can control what I teach my kids and I intend to impress upon them the importance of single-dom before rushing into any heavy-duty relationships. It's the best I can do for them; as for the rest of you, if you can't shut the fuck up and get your shit together, you gotta go because I don't have time for your crap anymore. 'Nuff said.

Until next time...peace to all.