White Size Nines or Nothing - That Is All

Something happened today that, in light of last night's post, I felt the need to share with you all. I went food shopping and while I was out I decided that I needed a new pair of sneakers and I was going to get them regardless of the guilt that set in afterward. The one's I have now are tearing and the soles are cracking. It's a need, not a want so I headed to Kmart to shop for myself.

I was in a good mood: food was in the car, I had Pandora playing on my phone, and I was getting new sneakers. I walked into Kmart and went straight back to the shoe section. I don't really like shopping so I sort of rushed past each shoe aisle looking for women's sneakers. Little girl's shoes and sneakers; little boys' shoes and sneakers; men's boots, shoes, and sneakers; older youth shoes and sneakers, then women's shoes - dress-ups, casuals, and work shoes. Even women's slippers had an aisle. Where were women's sneakers?

I walked past each aisle again thinking maybe I'd missed them. I walked past twice and didn't see them. Ah, I'll ask the lady in the Kmart smock where they are. She turned around and pointed at the end of an aisle two away from where we were standing. On the end cap were these soft little sneaker-type shoes but that's not what I wanted. "No," she said, "in that aisle. See the white ones with the pink trim?" Oh, yeah! I see them now. I headed in that direction.

I got to the aisle and began looking for white sneakers. The white ones the lady had pointed out to me were white with hot pink trim. Um, no thanks. I looked at all the other sneakers and literally stood there saying, very much out loud, "Are they fucking kidding me?!" There was not one pair of solid white sneakers, not one. They had grey with fluorescent green trim, black with blue trim, solid black, and rainbow shimmer - the entire shoe, mind you, not just the trim. I shit you not!

I looked and looked but all I saw were sneakers in these outrageous colors that my daughter would wear. I'm 46 years old! I want plain white sneakers. I don't want some cutesy pastel colors on my feet. I don't want lime green with orange trim. I don't want baby blue with yellow trim. I certainly don't want rainbow shimmer. I want WHITE!! Just white. The whole shoe, laces included, must be white!

I turned around to look at the other side of the aisle. There I found solid black, solid grey, and one white pair in a size six. At least they were white. I looked up to the top of the shelf where they keep the spare pairs, I was looking for size nine. I found a pair. I was almost ecstatic. I took them down, opened the box and promptly returned them to the shelf when I saw the price tag - $29.99. Holy shit!! I've never paid $30 for a pair of sneakers in my life. For that price I could go to Wal-Mart and get three pairs of white sneakers. Nope, I wasn't buying anything at Kmart today. I left and headed to Dollar General.

Dollar General sells sneakers for the same price that Wal-Mart does so maybe I could get some for myself in that store. I found the shoes and I found white sneakers - in size six. I searched the entire box. All of them were size six. I didn't want size six, I wanted size nine. Grrrr... No size nines anywhere. I searched other boxes in that aisle - boys, girls, men's but no more women's and no size nines. FUCK!!! Well, at least the women's sneakers didn't come in little girl colors.

Now I had to make a decision. Go home or drive all the way across town to Wal-Mart to get a pair of white sneakers in size nine for $10? Hmmm... what to do, what to do? I still had the groceries in my van. I could take them with me or I could pack them out at home first then go out again. But was it really worth the trip to Wal-Mart, wasting the gas, for just that one item? If I had other things to buy that would be one thing but I didn't need anything else. This wasn't a shopping trip I needed to make right now so I decided - fuck it!! I went home without new sneakers.

The way I see it, if I was supposed to have new sneakers today Kmart would have had some for me. They didn't. There's a reason for everything, right? Right? Obviously I wasn't meant to have new sneakers today and I don't feel bad about it. I also don't feel guilty that I bought something for myself either, because I didn't buy anything. Maybe next time I'm out the mood will hit me again and I'll get my sneakers, and with luck they'll be age-appropriate colors so I don't get stuck wearing shoes that fit in with the little girls in the elementary schools. I'll deal with the guilt then; for now, I'm guilt free. :)

Until next time... peace to all.