Breathe in...Breathe out...Breathe in...Breathe out...

This might sound harsh tonight but I’m not really sure I care at this point. Paul has gone over the edge tonight and needs to be kicked in the ass. Two weeks ago Paul made a “date” to take Ty out to lunch to have some one-on-one time with Dad. They had a good time. Last week it was supposed to be Zach’s turn, and Dolly had a “Daddy/Child” dinner at her school. Let me back track just a smidge first. About three weeks ago Zach got two birthday party invitations, back-to-back weekends. I specifically mentioned this to Paul telling him we needed to keep track of the weekends because of the party. Move forward.

Ty had his turn with Dad. Dolly had her turn with Dad, last night. Zach is still waiting. He’s been asking for over a week and Paul just keeps telling him “we’ll work something out.” Zach is really upset about it and has been having some really big middle-child issues lately. Ty is older and gets to do things Zach doesn’t; Dolly is younger and gets more attention. Yes, Ellen, he’s the peanut butter; but very unhappy peanut butter. J

Paul had been out of work for over a week now because he’s had some kind of allergic reaction to something on the floors at the store he manages. Anyway, when Zach asked Paul the other night when he’d get to have his turn going out with Paul, he got off the phone crying saying that “Dad said he’s not working so it’s hard for him to see me.”
Are you fucking kidding me???!!! Just because he’s not around the corner all day every day doesn’t make it hard for him to see his kids. If anything, it ought to make it easier since he doesn’t have anything else to fucking do all day long.

Zach continued telling me, “Dad said on Saturday (he’s picking them up on Friday this time instead of Saturday like he did the past couple of weeks) we’d work out something to do but then Ty and Lettie will want to go with us and it won’t be fair.” Now imagine you’re a seven year old and heard those words; the first part of the sentence about working out something to do. Translate them in your head. When Paul came to pick up Dolly last night for their dinner, I spoke with him outside while he put Dolly in the car. I told him that Zach said they were going to do something on Saturday. Paul said he didn’t say that; he said he told Zach they’d think of something on Saturday to do later in the week. Well, guess what; that’s not what Zach heard. I explained to Paul that Zach didn’t understand that because Paul didn’t clarify, and I also explained about the middle child issues. Paul nodded and said he’d do what he could.

Flash forward to tonight, just a couple of hours ago. Zach called Paul to ask him if he was taking Zach to the birthday party on Saturday. It’s about 30 minutes back this way from Paul’s house. I heard Paul talking on the phone but couldn’t make out what he said and Zach just handed me the phone. Paul went off on me saying I never told him about this birthday party. He said, “I was standing there last night telling Ty that I was taking him for a haircut on Saturday and you were standing right there.” So, what’s your point? I don’t listen to their conversations; and Dolly was chattering to me about her dinner with Dad. Apparently Paul assumed that I had heard about the haircut. He was wrong.

So he was angry with me, yelling at me because he didn’t know about the party until today, even though I repeated over and over that I told him three weeks ago. He was adamant that I didn’t. He knows I remember conversations verbatim but he’ll never admit to being wrong. I told him that it wasn’t necessary for Zach to go to the party but Paul just yelled at me, “NO, JUST GIVE ME THE INFORMATION!” Then he hung up on me. Zach was upset by then saying that he didn’t want to go to the party because “Dad will get mad at me if I want to go.” I told him that Paul won’t be mad at him and that it’s Paul’s responsibility as a dad to take Zach to parties like this when he’s got them. Just in case you’re getting ready to say, “Well when they’re with their dad, it’s his time with them,” I want to let you know that he and I agreed, when we first split up, that when the kids had something to do on whatever weekend it may be, that they would not be forced to visit one parent or the other. Whichever parent had them would accommodate the event.

Anyway, I told Zach that he could go to the party and that Dad could change the haircut appointments. That’s his job as a parent. He’s not working, it really needn’t be that hard for him since he’s just sitting home all day “going stir crazy” as he puts it. Zach kept saying he didn’t want to go to the party but I told him we’d wait until morning for him to decide. He agreed. Then he went back to bed and I was sitting here doing whatever when the house phone rang. I answered it and he started yelling at me again that I never told him about the party. Whatever. He just kept repeating himself over and over as if he was trying to convince himself of that fact. Then he kept saying that, “I’m a part of these kids’ lives too.” Well DUH!!! He also started telling me that I “do this” to him all the time and started listing a string of times, weekends, whatever they were that I did “this” to him.

I have no idea what “this” is but I do recall him saying that I did it to him on Halloween, among all the other times. He fucking had the kids on Halloween. He brought them back and drove around town until he found Kara and me with her kids. Dolly had wanted to stay with me because she did. Paul wasn’t happy about it but what the fuck…we decided that none of the kids would be forced to go when they didn’t want to do. But I already said that, didn’t I? He had the boys on Halloween, though so he’s got no right to bitch about anything. And, yes, he did have to take Ty to a birthday party on his weekend, and he had to take Dolly to a birthday party that same weekend. Why should they have to give up time with their friends because he lives an hour away now? He’s the one who left; it wasn’t their choice for him to leave – it was his and he needs to realize that. But I digress…

I just sat hear listening to Paul rant at me on the phone and told him, “Whenever you’re finished…” He finally shut up long enough for me to repeat that I did tell him about the party, both of them but he was at work and probably not paying attention. According to him, “Whenever it’s about the kids I pay attention.” Then why did he have to call me twice to find out if they had dress clothing to wear to a banquet with him two weeks ago? Because he pays attention, right? Hmmm…apparently he doesn’t pay as much attention as he thinks he does. So, he repeated again that “I’m as much a part of their lives as you are and I should have the right to do these things with them too.” So I said, “You’re right and it’s your responsibility to take them to birthday parties when they have them on your weekends.” What did he say? “That’s right.” So I told him that Zach was really upset and decided not to go to the party. What did Paul say? “Forget it; you have them this weekend so he can go to the party.” Then he hung up on me.

Did I miss something? Wasn’t he just fucking yelling at me that he had the right to take them to things like this also? Wasn’t he just telling me he’s a part of their lives? Didn’t he just agree with me when I told him it was his responsibility to take them to birthday parties too? Then why the fuck did he just decide not to get them this weekend so Zach can go to the party? Because he doesn’t think, that’s why. Not only is Zach really upset over not having his alone-with-dad time, now he’s gonna think he can’t ever go to another birthday party if it’s on Dad’s weekend because Dad will get upset about it. He’s going to think it’s his fault that Dad doesn’t want to get them; and he’s going to feel guilty about it. I won’t have that!! I won’t have my son being treated like this!!

Why can’t Paul just leave Ty and Dolly with Grandma or Aunt or Uncle, who all live in the same house, by the way, for a while and take Zach to the party for their one-on-one time? Even if it doesn’t count with Zach because other people will be there, at least he can go to the party and make arrangements for their alone-together time. But Paul doesn’t think like that. He’s acting like a big, selfish baby. I understand he wants to see the kids but it’s not right for him to deny them things they’ve already committed to. He can just get in his car and drive Zach to the party and if he doesn’t like it he doesn’t need to be a parent.

I am so pissed off right now I can’t stand it. Actually, some of my anger has dissipated. After he hung up on me the second time I immediately sent him a text-via-email telling him never to call the house number here again; if he needs me he can send a text message so everything is in writing. I haven’t heard back from him. But I did go out to my car to talk to my friend Joe because I didn’t want to scream or talk bad about Paul with the kids within earshot. I felt better then and writing it all down now has taken some more of the anger away. I’m still pissed, don’t get me wrong, just not angry enough to scream anymore.

I would apologize for this being so long but I’m not going to. There is no way I could’ve cut this down or you wouldn’t have all the details, nor would I feel better. So there it is. What really sucks is that I had a really great day and he fucked it up in short order. Well, you know what? I don’t care. I’m not going to let him get to me. I’m going to try to let it go. If he doesn’t want to see the kids because he’s pissed at me, so be it. I document everything, and this is no exception. There’ll come a day when it all comes back to bite him in the ass and he’ll have to live with that. But I think I’m going to bed now to realign and get some rest. Thanks for listening, I appreciate it.

Until next time…peace to all.

Mushy Mommy

Kids are so funny sometimes, and I don’t think they mean to be. Right now I’m sitting here IMing with a friend and I turned around to look at my bed. Dolly has moved from her usual spot over to mine; she’s put a box full of stuffed animals in her place; and both of our cats are lying next to her. If I wanted to go to bed right now I’d have no place to sleep. I asked Dolly where I’m supposed to sleep and she pointed to the foot of the bed. I don’t think so. It’s my bed. I’ll just have to do a little rearranging before I turn in for the night. It is pretty funny, though.

Zach found one of his toys on Ty’s dresser and accused Ty of taking it. When Ty said he found it there Zach called him a liar. I just happened to walk into their room at that time and asked them to get into bed. When I asked for hugs and kisses, Ty refused. He’s angry with me because Zach called him a liar. Go figure. He was cute about it, though. Just figured he’d be upset with me. I can handle it; I’m a big girl.

The funniest thing was that, a little while ago Zach came into my room holding the fat glow stick he got at a birthday party today. He said, “Um Mom, something came out of this thing and got all over me.” He’s bent the glow stick again trying to make it glow more and it broke. I took the glow stick and threw it in the garbage; then ushered Zach to the bathroom. Without the light on, and no light coming in from outside, it’s really dark in there. Zach was seriously glowing. The glow stick liquid was on his face and in his hair; all over his hands and the sleeves of his shirt, as well as the T-shirt he had on underneath.

Just to clarify, Zach sleeps in the clothing he’ll wear the next day so he doesn’t have to worry about getting dressed in the morning. He had on jeans, which didn’t get the glow juice on them, a sport jersey-like T-shirt, and a button-down collared shirt over it. Thank goodness it was long-sleeved otherwise the glow juice would have been all over his arms. Luckily, all we had to do was gently remove his shirts and wash his hands, face, and a little bit of his hair to get him to stop glowing. Thank goodness.

Then I had to wipe down the door frame where he tried to turn on the light, the edge of the shower where he held himself steady in the dark, and the edge of the sink. Then we had to go turn his blankets and pillow around so the glow stuff didn’t get on him during the night. I’ll just wash them in the morning to make sure it’s all gone. Then I’ll run to the store to get more glow sticks. I don’t really need to but he was in tears that he broke that one; he really wanted it and didn’t mean to break it. I felt bad for him. That’s why I couldn’t really get angry the whole thing; I found it funny as well as sad.

All three of them are very funny; sometimes on purpose, sometimes not. Regardless, I can’t help but look at their little faces and smile. When they’re funny, they can make me belly laugh until I have tears flowing. When I’m having a bad day I can think of something one of them did and cheer up instantly, provided my bad day wasn’t due, in part, to them. J Even then, thinking of something fun with them can often change my day. They just make me so happy; I can’t believe I can have this much joy and love to give to anyone. It’s the best feeling in the world. Aaahhh…

Until next time…peace to all.

Nothing About Nothing

I didn’t realize it’s been four days since I’ve been here. I guess time’s just been flying by without me noticing. Eh, it happens. Besides, nothing much as been happening lately. I went to Ty’s school on Thursday to watch him give his biography presentation. His class decided to present it to the parents. I was there, as was Paul, and about eight other parents. There were 22 kids giving reports. It was longer than I expected; but entertaining. Listening to some of the kids try to pronounce some of the words in their report was amusing. Did you know that George Washington was assigned to head up the maliteeya? That’s militia for those of you thinking about it. J It was cute.

Now Ty’s got a personal timeline project due this week. We finished his yesterday. It required pictures. My printer isn’t working, nor is my CD burner. I was at a loss as to how to get photos for him. We picked 12 different photos and all we needed was a wallet-sized print of each. I signed up for Snapfish to get some printed at the local Walgreens but that was a no-go. I get 20 prints for free but they have to be 4x6. I didn’t want 4x6.

So I called CVS, which is around the corner from me. The girl I spoke with said that I couldn’t order wallets on the Internet but I could bring them in on a disk and print them in minutes at minimal cost. Since my burner isn’t working I couldn’t do that either. To order wallets from the Internet I had to order each photo as a wallet bundle – four prints of each photo. I didn’t need four of each. Besides, each wallet sheet cost $1.00 and I wasn’t paying $12.00 just for this project.

I called the CVS girl back and asked if I could order the 4x6s and have her adjust the size in the store. She said they weren’t allowed to change an online order. I was stuck. I was even getting annoyed and angry. This was a school project; how was I going to get the photos? Could I email them to myself and print them at the library? Could I put them all on one 8x10 sheet and upload them to CVS and just get one large print of all of them together? Then it hit me. DUH!! Since there were only 12 photos, and a page of wallets is a 4x6 sheet, I made three collages of four prints each. I saved each collage as a single print and uploaded them to CVS only having to order three 4x6 prints. It worked and it only cost me $2.00. Plus they were ready in an hour. I’m so proud of me. Ty got to finish his project and it looks fantastic.

Anyway, I know I’m just rambling so I’m going for now. I’m having too much fun watching TV with the kids. I really only get to watch grown-up TV during the day; at night it’s either Nick At Nite or Disney Channel. I actually enjoy watching some of the shows: “Wizards of Waverly Place”, “Good Luck, Charlie”, “Suite Life on Deck”, “Big Time Rush”, and “iCarly” are the shows we watch most. They’re not really good, although I do like “Wizards” a lot, but they allow me to escape from the real world and enjoy being with the kids, and relax. Gotta get back to “iCarly” now because Sam is cat-napping the petographers’ cat, Harmoo. I’m not explaining it, though; you’ll have to catch it yourselves.

Until next time…peace to all.

Time Travel At Its Best

Time actually slowed down for me today. For real; it did. I’ll tell you how I know. I actually made a twenty-minute drive in just over ten minutes and I wasn’t speeding. I couldn’t because the oaf in front of me was barely driving at the speed limit. Why time slowed down for me, I don’t really know, but I’m glad it did and it was pretty amazing. This is what happened.

I had an appointment today to go to the car dealership because of a mechanical safety recall on my van. My appointment was at 1:00 but I was there early. Ellen may be able to vouch for me because I was on the phone with her when I arrived and for most of the time I was waiting. I don’t know if she looked at the clock when I got there, though. Anyway, I got there early and checked in at the desk only to find that there were three recalls on my van. Okay; they would check them all. I specifically told the guy at the desk, Ellen heard me, that if any repair work needed to be done I’d have to make an appointment for a different day because I was on a schedule.

So I’m sitting and waiting and talking to her and time was going by as usual. We finally hung up the phone around 1:30 and I sat watching “Days of Our Lives” since that’s what these macho, macho men had on the TV in the waiting area. I had one eye on the clock, though, because time was ticking. I had to pick up Dolly by 2:15 and get back home before 3:00 when Ty’s bus arrives. Finally, at 1:50 I went to the desk to get an update on what was happening with my van. One guy was just a total rude-nick and asked me to look into the service area and see if my van was still up in the air. Seriously? That’s not my job, dude.

I looked but couldn’t see anything so another guy took a look and said it was still up on the lift. He also said he’d get an update from the mechanic in a few minutes. So I waited some more. At 2:00 I went and stood by the desk again and another guy went in to get me an update. He came back and said that the two axle recalls were safe on my van but that the cruise control switch, the third safety recall, was bad and the mechanic was replacing it right then. Didn’t I tell them that if any repair work needed to be done I’d have to come back because I was on a schedule? I thought so. Regardless, there was nothing I could do about it. He said it’d be another ten minutes and my van would be ready to go. I watched 2:15 come and go; time was really squeezing in on me now.

At 2:20 they called me to the desk, had me sign my paperwork, get my receipt, and I was out the door. I was already supposed to have Dolly in the car and be on my way home by then but it was what it was. All I had to do was drive up 112 to Sheep Pasture road to the school to get her. Unfortunately, there’s construction on 112 and there has been for as long as I’ve been back here, and before that. Today they actually had a guy in the middle of the road stopping traffic in one direction so traffic in the other direction could proceed. It’s a four-lane roadway, folks. On the best day, they’ve got one lane closed in either direction, and the other two lanes readjusted to the pattern they see fit for the day. It’s confusing, to say the least.

So I had to sit in traffic to get to the school, just like I do on any other day, but today it was extra clogged. I called the school to ask Dolly’s teacher have her ready when I got there and then I called Ty’s school to have them give him a message to go to the neighbor’s house if my van wasn’t in the driveway when the bus arrived but that I’d be home within five minutes. I got to Dolly’s school, parked in the fire lane and ran in to get her. We literally ran right back out to the car where my gas light came on. Now I had to stop for gas. Could I have made it home without stopping? Probably, but I would have been driving on fumes by then.

So I had to go back down 112 to get to the gas station. I don’t usually go that way to get home, I usually take the main back road; the hilly, twisty, turn-y road I believe I’ve mentioned before. It’s quicker because there are only a couple of lights. Anyway, I turn back onto 112 at 2:35 (it took me fifteen minutes to get to Dolly’s school from the dealership and it would usually take me only about five.) and I stop – completely. Not only was there a bus about seven cars in front of me, but the train gates were down; a train was coming. Can I tell you, if this train moved any slower it would’ve been moving backward. The train finally passed but then the bus had to stop at the crossing – State law.

This had to be a big joke on Beth. We drove about a half-block’s distance and stopped for a light – three times – because every time it turned green the happy, peppy construction bullshit was causing a bigger clog. Ten minutes later I finally made it to the gas station, pumped $10’s worth and tried to get back out, going up 112 this time so I could take my usual route home. Traffic was moving again in that direction and I was closer to my usual route than I was the main highway at the other end. So Dolly and I finally make the turn onto the main back road and that’s when the doofus in front of me wouldn’t go more than 29mph. Mind you, it was already 2:50 when I made that turn and I still had twenty minutes to drive to get home. Twenty minutes driving at about 40mph. Good grief!!!

I kept watching the clock thinking I was going to be seriously late and would be inconveniencing the neighbors with the boys being there so long. Hey, 15 minutes to me is a long time when someone doesn’t know two young boys will be visiting them unexpectedly. Get off my back. So I had severe anxiety about not being there when the bus got there with Ty and Jack; I was upset because the guy in front of me was driving too slow; and I was cursing the meatheads at the dealership who went ahead and did repair work on my van when I asked them not to.

Well, I don’t know what happened, but at some point on this ride, the same ride I take every single day, I passed through a portal or something – I must have – because I pulled into our driveway at exactly 3:01. I made the entire twenty-minute drive in 11 minutes and got home about a minute past the bus’ arrival. Time must have stopped or slowed or something, because I cut nine minutes off that ride and was going slower than I usually do. And, yes, my clock was working properly because I kept checking my cell phone clock and they were both said the same time. I walked over to the neighbors’ house but they weren’t home so Dolly and I walked back to our house to find the boys inside waiting for us and doing their homework. Wow.

I’m not as amazed by that as I am the time lapse that actually took place. I don’t know how it happened; I don’t know why it happened; and I don’t know exactly what happened. All I know is that I asked the Universe to give me a break and get me home to the boys quickly and It did. Now that’s results; and ya can’t beat ‘em. Maybe if I ask the Universe for a house I’ll get one just as quickly. Hey, I can dream, right?

Until next time…peace to all.

Video Game Mommy

Help: –verb (used with object) 1. to give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need; contribute strength or means to; render assistance to; cooperate effectively with; aid; assist

When someone asks me to help with a task I picture myself aiding and assisting to make the task or chore easier. For instance, if one of the boys asks me to help him with his homework I give hints, nudges, and direction to assist whichever boy it is in reaching the correct desired result; but I don’t give the answers. I don’t write their reports for them; I don’t do their projects for them; I also don’t clean their room for them. (However, I know some parents who do all of those things denying their children the opportunities to learn on their own and to become responsible people. That’s a blog for another time, though.)

With the room cleaning I guide and direct this one to pick up this and that one to pick up that and so forth. I do the same thing with Dolly when she asks for help cleaning or doing whatever it is she needs me to do. They understand that when they ask for help I’m not going to do the job for them but I will assist to make it easier. If they understand it for homework, room cleaning, clothing matching, problem solving and everything else, why don’t they understand it when it comes to video games?

We’ve got a PS2 that Paul left with us when he moved out of the house. The boys each also got a DSi for Christmas. While they don’t have many games to play on either system, they spend a fair enough amount of time on both. The problem comes when they run into a snag of some sort that they can’t get past in whatever game it may be. Then comes the question: “Mom, can you help me? I can’t get past this part.” Now, let me start by saying that I’m not a big video game player. I do like some games, mostly game show-type video games – Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, and the like – but I don’t really play the games the kids like.

So, when they ask me if I can help my first response is usually, “I don’t play those games. What makes you think I can get past that point when you can’t? You’ve been playing longer than I have.” Then I hear, “But I’m stuck. I just want you to try to “help” me get past this part.” You heard that, right? They want me to HELP them. Help. Yes, I said “help” them. Start laughing if you want to because you probably know where I’m going with this.

They don’t want me to help them; they want me to actually play the game and get them past wherever they are and then they’ll take over until the next snag. In the past two years, I’ve learned to play Lego: Batman; some sort of Spiderman, and some sort of Star Wars games for the PS2. I read the directions like we’re supposed to do when learning something new, and then I started playing. I was the one breaking walls, and finding secret doorways and gems, and beating up bad guys, all so the kids could tell their friends, “I got to level [such and such] on [whatever game it may be].” Notice I said they use the word “I” when speaking to their friends.

Now that we have DSi’s in the house I’m not sitting in front of the television screen working a human-sized controller; I’m sitting in front of a handheld mini-screen using a stylus the size of my ring finger, or buttons so tiny they get lost under my thumbs, to manipulate little tiny creatures through little tiny paths and mazes, and fighting miniscule bad guys, and finding hard-to-see gems and bonus items. I sometimes need to wear my glasses so I can see up close to do what needs to be done.

Again, though, I’m not helping in the clear definition of the word; I’m playing the games to get past certain levels so the kids can take over and move on with the game. They get stuck again and I’m back at it. I’ve never played these games before but somehow I’m figuring them out when I need to; why can’t the kids do the same thing? Ty even had me find a walkthrough on the computer to help him get through his DSi Star Wars game. There is an actual walkthrough that gives you step-by-step instructions through each chapter of the game. What exactly is the point of getting the game and playing it if someone is going to hold your hand through it?

I have yet to figure that out in my household. Zach begs for these specific games and then can’t figure out how to do what needs to be done so I have to help him. Yes, I’ve tried telling him to do it himself but that starts an argument and then he starts getting down on himself and it’s just not worth the crap I have to go through. At least on the PS2 I could sit with him and we could play as a team. I could guide him this way or that and, together, we’d find what we needed. On the DSi it’s impossible. It’s a one-player game and we, quite literally, have to sit shoulder to shoulder to see the screen at the same time. And because of opposite handedness we each turn the screen off to the side to play so the other still has a hard time seeing.

Generally it ends up with him trying a few more times and then handing the game to me to continue. He’ll sit and watch TV while I do what I can to get past the difficult parts. Then he’ll take back the game and go on for a few minutes until another bump comes along and he’ll hand the game back to me. Dolly is also doing it. She doesn’t have her own DSi but Paul bought her a game of her own this past weekend: Zhu Zhu Princess. She has a group of little tiny hamsters she has to feed, water, clean, give naps to, and give treats to. Then she has to take them, one at a time, through a series of mazes to gain new items and reach new levels. Guess who’s played the majority of the game thus far?

Because she doesn’t have the reasoning capacity yet to figure out which way a maze will go from one section to another, or to figure out how to get to one place from another (spatial relations types of things), she hands the game to me to get the needed item and then she takes it back once I finish the maze. She’ll give the tired hamster a nap and a snack and then take the next one to the next maze. Guess what. The game ends up in my hands again. Amazing, isn’t it?

For some reason or another, they just don’t grasp that my playing the game for them is more than just “helping” them; and they don’t care. As long as they move forward to the next levels, all is well with the Universe. The sad thing is that I’m getting so used to playing the games that I sometimes want to play them by myself when the kids are asleep. I don’t, but there are times when I want to just because I want to see how far I can go on my own. I just never realized that part of parenting was playing video games on command. I guess it is what it is and I’ll keep “helping” as long as I’m needed. It can be fun at times and my skills are definitely increasing. My web swinging is faster, I can build Lego vehicles really quickly, and I’ve found three baby hamsters and two new outfits for the Zhu Zhus. Imagine that. Too bad my new skills can’t go on my resume.

Until next time…peace to all.

I Like the Movie, I Like It Not; I Like the Movie?

The kids and I watched “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” for the first time tonight. It’s the one starring Johnny Depp; Tim Burton’s 2005 remake of the original 1971 film “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” and, I must say, I’m not really sure how I feel about the movie. Some Tim Burton films I’ve seen were enjoyable: “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” was fun; and “Batman” was really good; but “Beetlejuice” is an all-time favorite. “Nightmare Before Christmas” did nothing for me and I was thoroughly bored with it while Ty loved it and watched it over and over for weeks about a year ago.

I also tried watching Burton’s 2010 remake of “Alice in Wonderland” (also starring Johnny Depp) one night but couldn’t get past the first half hour or so; it was way too freaky and heavy for my good mood at the time. The Mad Hatter, played by Depp, was a total freak and many of the other characters that were happy and peppy in the original, were dark and dismal in the remake. It was just too much that night. I’ll try watching it again another time.

Anyway, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” was on Disney Channel so I thought I’d watch it with the kids. Now, I absolutely love Johnny Depp as an actor; he’s fabulous the way he gets so into his characters that you forget it’s him playing a role. I’m also fascinated by his ability to convey any word or emotion with just the slightest changes in his facial expressions. As Willy Wonka he lived up to my expectations; I thought he was wonderful in the role. Depp, however, was the only thing I found wonderful about the movie.

Don’t get me wrong, the movie wasn’t horrible, and it certainly was watchable, but I kept drifting back to the original. Yes, the characters’ names were the same but there were not-so-subtle changes in the characters as a whole. Charlie had both parents when he only had a mom in the original; Mike TeeVee’s dad and Violet Beauregarde’s mom accompanied them to the factory, and in the original it was the reverse; and, of course, Willy Wonka wasn’t the same happy and mysterious character he was 40 years ago; Burton had Depp portray Willy Wonka as a depressed and disturbed individual. He actually appeared mean at some points in the film.

While the storyline of the film was the same, there were lots of odd flashbacks in this film and the only singing done was by the Oompa Loompas who looked nothing like they did in the original film. Their songs were a heckuva lot longer and more up-to-date with today’s music styles, too. I wasn’t impressed, though. I’m also not sure what we missed since the movie was on TV and had commercials. I know there were parts cut out of it; I just don’t know what parts were gone since this film strayed a bit here and there and here and there. I guess I’ll have to watch it again, maybe on Netflix, so I can see it in its entirety and possibly make a better comparison. Something tells me that seeing the missing pieces won’t make much of a difference, though. I’ll give it a shot anyway.

Like I said, the movie wasn’t unwatchable; there were entertaining parts. Veruca got bonked on the head by a bunch of squirrels (there were no golden geese in this version) and tossed down the “Bad Nut” chute. After Mike Tee Vee went through the TV and got smaller, he was stretched and ended up looking like “Flat Stanley” at seven feet tall. Some of the dialogue, and all of Johnny Depp’s facial expressions were actually hilarious. But I think I laughed loudest when Willy Wonka walked face first into the closed glass elevator. Don’t ask me why, that type of stuff just makes me belly laugh; in real life too. As long as the person isn’t hurt, I’m gonna laugh. (Remember that, if you’re ever near me and walk face first into any kind of anything.) Ty was also laughing so we had a good laugh together.

So that’s that. I just thought I’d share. Maybe you saw the movie and loved it. I know the kids did. Why? Because they never saw the original. I take that back; Dolly watched part of it with me and was telling me when the parts she remembered from the original were on the screen in this version. The boys never sat through “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” though and I’m not sure, now, that they ever could. Zach was getting annoyed at the Oompa Loompas singing when one of the kids did something wrong in this movie. Imagine he had to sit through all the songs from the first movie?

I’ve seen remakes before and loved them – “Ocean’s Eleven”, “Angels in the Outfield”, and “City of Angels”, just to name a few – because I hadn’t seen the original first. It’s when I’ve seen them the other way around that I’ve found the remake to be not so good and that sucks. So “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” still sits in my head and I can’t decide whether or not I liked it. I do know that Tim Burton is a genius and Johnny Depp is an extremely gifted actor. If you haven't seen the movie yet - it's six years old - and want to, go ahead, don’t ask for my opinion. I’ll just go back and forth like I did in this blog and I’ll leave you confused and frustrated; kinda like the way “Alice in Wonderland” left me that night.

Until next time…peace to all.

Dad Needs To Take Responsibility

You know what’s really sad? It’s when a man can’t be a man. The kids came home this evening, an hour-and-a-half late – they’re supposed to be home by 6:00 and their dad didn’t get them here until 7:30 – and, not only did he bring them home late, but after the new movies and toys he bought them to "appease" them (see last night's post) he took them out to dinner and brought them home hopped up on sugar from the hulking desserts he bought them that were filled with cookies, ice cream, chocolate, and whipped cream. I put them to bed shortly after they got home because they have school tomorrow but they won't go to sleep because of the sugar high - it's 10:00 right now. I guess he figures he doesn't have to deal with cranky kids in the morning so it doesn't matter what he feeds them so close to bedtime. Anyway, when I asked them if they had a good time they said yes. Then they told me that their dad had moved back into his old apartment because the house he and his girlfriend rented together was sold so they had to move. They told me girlfriend moved in with her sister. My first reaction was a mental, “I can’t believe he lied to them.” My next reaction was a mental, “Yes, I can believe he lied to them. Why in the World would he tell them the truth about what happened?”

He’s been that way all their lives so far; and I’m sure he’ll be that way for the rest of their lives. According to his family, he’s lied to everyone he knows at one time or another; and we all know he’s lied to me so many times I can’t even count them. I know the kids will figure out what kind of person he is soon enough but it breaks my heart to think that they’ll have to learn it on their own because I certainly won’t tell them the truth about anything he tells them. That’s not my job; it’s his as their parent. He wants to yell at me that he’s their parent and deserves rights, then he can act like their parent and stop fucking things up with them. Of course, we all know that won’t happen.

Since he lied to them, though, I still have to wait for the truth to come out and the kids to find out that girlfriend won’t be around anymore when they visit. Dad didn’t mention that to them; just the part about them having to move because the house was sold. Apparently, the kids still think she’ll be in their lives on a constant basis and that’s not fair to them but there’s nothing I can do about it. At this point in time, though, I guess I’ll just let things rest as they are and keep hoping for the best. I just hope this isn’t one of those times when my kids will come to me, after finding out the truth, and blame me for not telling them. They’ve done that in the past when Dad’s lied to them and I have to explain why Dad lied and blah, blah, blah…

I won’t do that this time, though. When they find out the truth and ask me about it, I’m just going to tell them to discuss it with their dad. Since he chose to make the choice he made this past weekend, he can choose to cover his own ass when the time arises. Can you tell I’m a little ticked off at all of this? It really irks me when he tries to act like he’s king of the dad’s and keeps screwing up rather than taking responsibility for his own actions.

Anyway, right now I’m tired of thinking about it and talking about it and letting it fill my mind with anxiety. I’m going to try to let it go for now and wait to see what develops in the future. I’ll keep you posted in case anything happens. For now, though, it’s business as usual in our home and things will be what they are.

Until next time…peace to all.

A Mom's Job Is Never Done

The past couple of days have been going really well for my kids and me. We’ve had our snags but, for the most part, all has been smooth sailing. We spent most of today together watching TV and talking while they waited for their dad to pick them up for the first time in weeks. It was kinda funny when they decided to watch a movie on my bed, using me as their headrests, and they fell asleep leaving me to watch the movie alone and unable to move for the duration.

When the movie was over they magically woke up and it was almost time for them to go so I had them get ready and we all waited outside for my ex to arrive. Like I said, it’s been weeks since he’s seen them. The company he works for just opened a brand new store about a mile away from us so he’s been working non-stop to get the store set up and running. He’s not even getting them for the entire weekend; just today and tomorrow. The kids were really excited to see him; especially since Zach had asked if he would take them to buy new DSi games. Dad’s feeling kinda guilty so I’m thinking the kids may just get their games.

See, the kids get to see Dad this weekend but they’re getting a bit of bad news. It seems as if Dad and his current have split for good and Dad has already moved back into the apartment he occupied before the two of them moved in together, less than a year ago. What I mean when I say they’ve split “for good” is that they were together for a short while over a year ago and split up for a while; it totally confused the kids. However, they got back together and immediately moved in together. The kids think this woman is terrific. I actually like her too; she’s intelligent, can hold her own against my ex, and ran a day care for 12 years so I was comfortable with her being around my kids.

Anyway, when my ex told me of the current split, I told him he had to tell the kids about it; it’s not my job, so he said he would. He still hadn’t told them before he picked them up today and he was feeling pretty guilty about everything. He even called me a few nights ago asking if there were any new movies the kids might want because, as he put it, “I think I’ll have to appease them for a while since they’ll probably be upset about everything.” Translation: “I fucked up and need to buy them something to make them and me feel better about it all.”

To make matters worse, if you remember, the kids came back from Dad’s house at Thanksgiving telling me Dad and woman might be getting married. Right after my ex told me about the split, Zach mentioned to me that he couldn’t wait for Dad to get married so he’d have stepfamily. I asked what would happen if Dad didn’t get married, “Oh, he will.” “Zach, but what if they don’t get married?” “Well, that’ll be okay too.” However, he’s been mentioning it constantly over the past couple of weeks, even as recently as three days ago when he was adamant that “Dad only changes his mind about things about work; he doesn’t change his mind about things like that [getting married].” That actually made me chuckle inside because I really wanted to say, “Gee, Dad changed his mind about being married to me,” but I didn’t, of course.

So not only is Dad breaking the news about girlfriend not being around anymore, but they definitely won’t be getting married, and Dad’s already moved without the kids having a chance to say goodbye to girlfriend. Wish them luck because they’re going to be upset. New movies and video games might work for a while but I’ll be the one to hear about the sadness, disappointment, and anger when they get back. I can handle it; I’ve done it before (and I’m sure I’ll do it again) but I really hate, and I don’t use that word often, the fact that my kids have to go through this yet again. With luck Dad will stay single for a while and learn to interact with the kids on his own but something tells me that won’t happen. I’m sure the next babe is just over the horizon.

Regardless, I used my time, after the kids left today, to realign and get my positive energy flowing so I’ll be able to handle whatever they bring my way when they return tomorrow. I did some cleaning, laundry, and overall relaxing. I’m in a great frame of mind, my positive energy is flowing, and I feel like I can handle anything that comes my way. I hope the kids will be able to handle Dad’s news but it’s unlikely; especially since Zach already has trust issues. But, as my friend’s mom told me the other day, “Kids only need one stable parent.” She’s right; and my kids have had me all their lives. I’m still waiting for Dad to get his act together; unfortunately, that day may never come. We can only hope. In the meantime, I’ll just keep being there for my kids when they need me; that’s my job and I cherish every moment of it.

Until next time…peace to all.

Learning Something New

The other day the kids and I were watching a repeat of “Wizards of Waverly Place” and one of the characters said the word “hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.” Being me, I had to look it up to see what it means. Ahem, “fear of long words” is what I found. Imagine that. Are they serious? A 36-letter word to describe that particular fear is a bit ridiculous. Unless the purpose was to force the phobic person to face the fear by having to tell people what the actual phobia is called. That makes sense but I think it’s unlikely. I think the people who named that phobia just decided it would be a fun way to make fun of the afflicted. Either way, I learned something new that day.

I also looked up the word “flibbertigibbet” after hearing it in a movie. That one refers to a person who is flighty or scatterbrained; as in, “She’s such a ditz, a real flibbertigibbet.” Who makes up these words? I’m curious because I would never use a word like that for someone scatterbrained. I’d just say ‘scatterbrained’ instead; or maybe I’d just stick with calling her (or him) a ditz. Why can’t we just have simple words or phrases that mean what we want to say?

For instance, I’m the female head of household; the mother of the family. Somewhere, someone, at some point way back when, decided that I’m the materfamilias. The what? Can’t I just be the mom? Yes, it’s the same with the father of the house; he’s the paterfamilias. Why? Can’t he just be the dad or male head of household? I haven’t yet gotten a sales call asking for the materfamilias; they always ask for the head of the household. Although, I may try it next time I have to call a friend and one of their kids answers the phone. “Hi, this is Beth; may I speak to the mater(pater)familias please? That could be fun; messing with their heads.

I know words come from Latin or Greek or whatever derivations but let’s get real. Were these words actually used in the past? I have to think that they were or they wouldn’t exist, right? Granted, other than hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia I’m sure the other two words I mentioned are no longer in service in this day in age, other than in the movies where I heard them, anyway. I would like to know how many people actually suffer from that phobia because that might tell us how often that word is used. You know, when the psychiatrist or psychologist has to write down, and say, the diagnosis, the word would have to be used, I guess. Maybe they have an abbreviation for it. Imagine that; a medical abbreviation for hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. Maybe it’s FLW; I don’t know but it’s pretty funny to think about it. I’m cracking myself up over here.

I’m even having fun thinking about my favorite word: onomatopoeia. We all know what that one means, right? Come on, silly. Onomatopoeia is a word that sounds like what it describes: e.g. drip, bang, squeak…you get the idea, right? I don’t know why I like that word other than it’s fun to pronounce and even more fun to define. How many onomatopoeias (onomatopoeiae is said to be the other plural form) can you think of right now? Beep, honk, squish, splat…there are loads of them. Let’s have an onomatopoeia contest to see who can come up with the most original one. Nah, let’s not and say we did. I don’t want to because I know I’d lose. Hey, at least I’m honest about it.

Anyway, I just thought I’d share these so you can all say you learned something new today. And you honestly can. If you didn’t know any of the words, you learned five new words. If you know some, you learned the ones you didn’t know; I’ll leave the math up to you. Let’s review: hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia – fear of long words; flibbertigibbet – someone who is flighty or scatterbrained; materfamilias – mother of the household; paterfamilias – father of the household; onomatopoeia – a word that sounds like what it describes. Got all of them? Good. Now go teach them to someone else and I dare you to try to get them into some conversation during the day. Just don’t take the easy way out: “Hey, guess what. I learned five new words today.” No, that’s just not fair; anyone can do that. Try to use them in actual conversation. Give it a try; I know you can do it. :)

Until next time…peace to all.

Releasing Brain Energy

When I sat down tonight to write, I thought I had a topic. I started writing and got interrupted numerous times so when I finally got back to the page, the topic didn’t seem all that important anymore and I erased the entire thing. So then I was wondering what else I might be able to get off my mind and I can’t come up with anything really specific. So many things have been running through my head that they’re all just a jumble of thoughts. I know what you’re thinking; “Everything she writes is just a jumble of thoughts.” Hey, it happens; that’s my thought process. If you go back to my posts over a year ago I do believe I wrote one specific blog about my messed up thought process. I can’t help it; it’s just the way I am.

Anyway, some of the thoughts I was having this evening may seem trivial to you but I’ll mention them just because. My clogged ear is much better today. I went back to the doctor because the antihistamine wasn’t really working. She wasn’t sure why my ear was still filled with fluid and referred me to an ENT. That’s an Otolaryngologist for you medical types. I made the appointment for next Thursday and went about doing what I needed to do for the day.

While I was lying on the bed watching TV with Dolly and helping Ty with his homework, I was resting my head on my hand and decided to “plunge” my ear with the heel of my hand. I don’t know why, the idea just struck me like lightning. Remember my post from the other day? So I plunged it a couple of times and about twenty minutes later my Eustachian tube cleared like it had been clogged for decades. I don’t know what was in there, and I don’t really care, but immediately following that, the pressure in my head was dramatically reduced. My ear still has slight pressure, and even a little pain and crackling – which means the fluid is breaking up in there. I called my doctor, told her what happened and said I’d continue with the antihistamine for a few days and would cancel the ENT if I see marked improvement. I’m still feeling much better, though.

I was also wondering what it would be like to have magical powers. We, the kids and I, watch “Wizards of Waverly Place” on Disney Channel and I thought it would be pretty cool to be able to wave a wand and make things happen. Now, I don’t think it would be fair to conjure up a house or lots of money, but it would be nice to perhaps persuade someone to hire me so I could make the money and get the house. It would also be nice to be able to make my car run perfectly; to be able to change clothes without having to go through the “this doesn’t fit, I don’t like that” scenario; and to flash from place to place instantly. It would save time, energy, and gas money.

I popped onto Facebook for a few minutes and remembered that a friend had posted that his 25^th High School reunion would be this year. That reminded me that my 25^th was two years ago. He and I went to High School together and he was a year behind me but I graduated a year early so we’re actually two years apart in graduation. Then I was thinking about all the things that had changed in those 25 years; 27 for me. That’s a long time, when you think about it.

Throughout that time, and in random order, I’ve had eight different vehicles; gone to trade school once and college twice – the first time was right after High School and it wasn’t a fit so I dropped out; the second time was in 2006 and I got my degree in 2009, but you all know that; I’ve worked in nine different places at four different types of work; moved seven times; had four semi-long-term relationships, one with my ex-husband, of course; I’ve gotten married and divorced; had three children; and lost both parents and a close friend, as well as numerous pets – all in the past 27 years. I’m sure there are things I’ve left out of the list but that’s okay; I’ve covered enough. Seems I’ve been pretty busy, but I didn’t stop to think about it until today. That’s what reminders from my friends do to me.

Maybe tomorrow someone will say something that will remind me of something that happened to me in the first grade and then I’ll have to sit and ponder it for a while. Then again, maybe nobody will remind me of anything and I just won’t have anything to think about and will have to resort to making things up as I go about my day. That could be fun. When that happens, I usually go to my happy place in my mind and think about my dream house and what it will look like and how it will be decorated and how happy the kids and I will be once we’re actually living in it. Wow, that was a really long sentence. I’m sure I’ve done that before, though, so you’re probably used to it by now.

I do think I’ve rambled on long enough for tonight, though. I really needed to release some brain energy and you’re just caught in the middle of it. I’m not going to apologize because I didn’t do anything wrong. I just wrote the boring post; you’re the one still reading it. :-) Maybe I said something to make you laugh, maybe not; it would be nice if you’re smiling now, though. Considering I don’t know what time of day you’re reading this, I will wish you a good day/night and I’ll stop writing for now. I’m sure I’ll come back with something a bit more interesting for my next post.

Until next time…peace to all.

Positive Shift in My Energy

Today was much better than yesterday. It didn’t actually start out that way – Zach was talking over me every time I said something and Dolly wouldn’t get out of bed to get ready for school. However, we got past those issues and the day shaped up nicely. I’ll tell you why, since you asked.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. We meet people for a reason; we bump into someone on the street because we’re supposed to; we dial a wrong number, miss a bus, leave the house late for work all because it’s cosmically supposed to be that way at that moment. I don’t know if you agree or not; this is just my belief system. Anyway, you all know that I’ve been trying to find work without much success. It is what it is. I can’t change it. (Think “Serenity Prayer” here.) I’m still looking, regardless.

Today I decided to drive Dolly to school. Usually Kara drives her because she goes that way to work, but I got a whisper in my ear this morning that I needed to drive Dolly to school to speak to my Family Liaison, Jane. I don’t know why; but the feeling was that I could ask for a job application there. That would be convenient since I’d be there to drop Dolly off and pick her up in the afternoon. Whatever; I’d do what I needed to do. We got to the school and I took Dolly to the playground where her classmates were playing. As I rounded the corner back toward Jane’s office, I saw her in the hallway and we started chatting.

I asked her about an application and she said that the only work available there is per diem work. Then she checked with the Director, Agatha, to confirm that. Yes, the available work is per diem stuff, substituting where needed when someone is out. That’s fine with me. So I took the application and Agatha, Jane and I all started chatting about the lack of work available and how long I’ve been looking and how hard it is to apply for jobs today. Then Jane went back to work and Agatha and I chatted a little while longer. Mind you, this is the first time I’ve ever spoken to Agatha and Dolly started in the school in October.

We were reminiscing about how, when we were younger, all we had to do was walk into a place, get an application, fill it out, and speak with a manager. We either got the job or we didn’t. Today, with applications and resumes being sent online, there is no way for a prospective employer to know anything about the person attached to them. Just because I may not have the qualifications the prospective employer is seeking doesn’t mean I can’t learn them in a day or two but he or she won’t know that about me because he or she refuses to meet with me simply based on what’s on my resume. It sucks but it’s true.

I’m off on a tangent again, sorry. So, we were talking, and I’d mentioned earlier in the conversation that I’ve got a Bachelor degree in Paralegal Studies but all the attorneys want experience, blah, blah, blah…the same shit I’ve mentioned to you all before. Agatha agreed about the Catch-22 and suddenly started telling me about a friend of hers whose husband is a paralegal and does the work freelance. It’s a small business, and not his only source of income, but it’s doing very well, according to Agatha. I told her that I also want to do the work freelance, eventually, but still need experience first so attorneys will be able to trust that I know what I'm doing.

So I asked Agatha if she could get the guy to call me, not so I could take his business, but so I could find out what attorneys are looking for as far as experience and other work-related skills and tasks. She said she’d speak with her friend to see if it would be okay for me to call him and (I got another whisper in my ear) I suddenly suggested, instead, that she, Agatha, take my number and give it to her friend, so if the husband wants to call me, he can. She agreed and took my info, we said our goodbyes and I was off – with a really uplifted spirit.

I don’t know why I needed to drive Dolly to school, why I needed to ask for a job application at the school, why I needed to spend so much time chatting with Agatha, why she told me about her friend’s husband, or why I needed to offer her my information to give to him. Maybe he'll call me and something will fall into place as far as work for me; maybe not. I don't know. I do know that everything that happened this morning was out of my regular routine but it all needed to happen today, just the way it happened. There was a reason for it all.

I guess my energy is shifting; things in the Universe are aligning for me, and my boat is now floating downstream instead of me fighting the upstream current. That’s the only way I can look at it. Maybe you’ll say it’s all coincidence but I don’t believe that. We’ll just have to agree to disagree otherwise. And that’s okay. It is what it is. In the morning, I’m going to do things the way I regularly do them and see what else develops for me. I’m not going to stop looking for work, but I will watch for signs to see which direction I need to turn at any given moment. Things are getting better and will continue to do so. The Universe will yield to me.

Until next time…peace to all.