Time Travel At Its Best

Time actually slowed down for me today. For real; it did. I’ll tell you how I know. I actually made a twenty-minute drive in just over ten minutes and I wasn’t speeding. I couldn’t because the oaf in front of me was barely driving at the speed limit. Why time slowed down for me, I don’t really know, but I’m glad it did and it was pretty amazing. This is what happened.

I had an appointment today to go to the car dealership because of a mechanical safety recall on my van. My appointment was at 1:00 but I was there early. Ellen may be able to vouch for me because I was on the phone with her when I arrived and for most of the time I was waiting. I don’t know if she looked at the clock when I got there, though. Anyway, I got there early and checked in at the desk only to find that there were three recalls on my van. Okay; they would check them all. I specifically told the guy at the desk, Ellen heard me, that if any repair work needed to be done I’d have to make an appointment for a different day because I was on a schedule.

So I’m sitting and waiting and talking to her and time was going by as usual. We finally hung up the phone around 1:30 and I sat watching “Days of Our Lives” since that’s what these macho, macho men had on the TV in the waiting area. I had one eye on the clock, though, because time was ticking. I had to pick up Dolly by 2:15 and get back home before 3:00 when Ty’s bus arrives. Finally, at 1:50 I went to the desk to get an update on what was happening with my van. One guy was just a total rude-nick and asked me to look into the service area and see if my van was still up in the air. Seriously? That’s not my job, dude.

I looked but couldn’t see anything so another guy took a look and said it was still up on the lift. He also said he’d get an update from the mechanic in a few minutes. So I waited some more. At 2:00 I went and stood by the desk again and another guy went in to get me an update. He came back and said that the two axle recalls were safe on my van but that the cruise control switch, the third safety recall, was bad and the mechanic was replacing it right then. Didn’t I tell them that if any repair work needed to be done I’d have to come back because I was on a schedule? I thought so. Regardless, there was nothing I could do about it. He said it’d be another ten minutes and my van would be ready to go. I watched 2:15 come and go; time was really squeezing in on me now.

At 2:20 they called me to the desk, had me sign my paperwork, get my receipt, and I was out the door. I was already supposed to have Dolly in the car and be on my way home by then but it was what it was. All I had to do was drive up 112 to Sheep Pasture road to the school to get her. Unfortunately, there’s construction on 112 and there has been for as long as I’ve been back here, and before that. Today they actually had a guy in the middle of the road stopping traffic in one direction so traffic in the other direction could proceed. It’s a four-lane roadway, folks. On the best day, they’ve got one lane closed in either direction, and the other two lanes readjusted to the pattern they see fit for the day. It’s confusing, to say the least.

So I had to sit in traffic to get to the school, just like I do on any other day, but today it was extra clogged. I called the school to ask Dolly’s teacher have her ready when I got there and then I called Ty’s school to have them give him a message to go to the neighbor’s house if my van wasn’t in the driveway when the bus arrived but that I’d be home within five minutes. I got to Dolly’s school, parked in the fire lane and ran in to get her. We literally ran right back out to the car where my gas light came on. Now I had to stop for gas. Could I have made it home without stopping? Probably, but I would have been driving on fumes by then.

So I had to go back down 112 to get to the gas station. I don’t usually go that way to get home, I usually take the main back road; the hilly, twisty, turn-y road I believe I’ve mentioned before. It’s quicker because there are only a couple of lights. Anyway, I turn back onto 112 at 2:35 (it took me fifteen minutes to get to Dolly’s school from the dealership and it would usually take me only about five.) and I stop – completely. Not only was there a bus about seven cars in front of me, but the train gates were down; a train was coming. Can I tell you, if this train moved any slower it would’ve been moving backward. The train finally passed but then the bus had to stop at the crossing – State law.

This had to be a big joke on Beth. We drove about a half-block’s distance and stopped for a light – three times – because every time it turned green the happy, peppy construction bullshit was causing a bigger clog. Ten minutes later I finally made it to the gas station, pumped $10’s worth and tried to get back out, going up 112 this time so I could take my usual route home. Traffic was moving again in that direction and I was closer to my usual route than I was the main highway at the other end. So Dolly and I finally make the turn onto the main back road and that’s when the doofus in front of me wouldn’t go more than 29mph. Mind you, it was already 2:50 when I made that turn and I still had twenty minutes to drive to get home. Twenty minutes driving at about 40mph. Good grief!!!

I kept watching the clock thinking I was going to be seriously late and would be inconveniencing the neighbors with the boys being there so long. Hey, 15 minutes to me is a long time when someone doesn’t know two young boys will be visiting them unexpectedly. Get off my back. So I had severe anxiety about not being there when the bus got there with Ty and Jack; I was upset because the guy in front of me was driving too slow; and I was cursing the meatheads at the dealership who went ahead and did repair work on my van when I asked them not to.

Well, I don’t know what happened, but at some point on this ride, the same ride I take every single day, I passed through a portal or something – I must have – because I pulled into our driveway at exactly 3:01. I made the entire twenty-minute drive in 11 minutes and got home about a minute past the bus’ arrival. Time must have stopped or slowed or something, because I cut nine minutes off that ride and was going slower than I usually do. And, yes, my clock was working properly because I kept checking my cell phone clock and they were both said the same time. I walked over to the neighbors’ house but they weren’t home so Dolly and I walked back to our house to find the boys inside waiting for us and doing their homework. Wow.

I’m not as amazed by that as I am the time lapse that actually took place. I don’t know how it happened; I don’t know why it happened; and I don’t know exactly what happened. All I know is that I asked the Universe to give me a break and get me home to the boys quickly and It did. Now that’s results; and ya can’t beat ‘em. Maybe if I ask the Universe for a house I’ll get one just as quickly. Hey, I can dream, right?

Until next time…peace to all.