The past couple of days have been going really well for my kids and me. We’ve had our snags but, for the most part, all has been smooth sailing. We spent most of today together watching TV and talking while they waited for their dad to pick them up for the first time in weeks. It was kinda funny when they decided to watch a movie on my bed, using me as their headrests, and they fell asleep leaving me to watch the movie alone and unable to move for the duration.
When the movie was over they magically woke up and it was almost time for them to go so I had them get ready and we all waited outside for my ex to arrive. Like I said, it’s been weeks since he’s seen them. The company he works for just opened a brand new store about a mile away from us so he’s been working non-stop to get the store set up and running. He’s not even getting them for the entire weekend; just today and tomorrow. The kids were really excited to see him; especially since Zach had asked if he would take them to buy new DSi games. Dad’s feeling kinda guilty so I’m thinking the kids may just get their games.
See, the kids get to see Dad this weekend but they’re getting a bit of bad news. It seems as if Dad and his current have split for good and Dad has already moved back into the apartment he occupied before the two of them moved in together, less than a year ago. What I mean when I say they’ve split “for good” is that they were together for a short while over a year ago and split up for a while; it totally confused the kids. However, they got back together and immediately moved in together. The kids think this woman is terrific. I actually like her too; she’s intelligent, can hold her own against my ex, and ran a day care for 12 years so I was comfortable with her being around my kids.
Anyway, when my ex told me of the current split, I told him he had to tell the kids about it; it’s not my job, so he said he would. He still hadn’t told them before he picked them up today and he was feeling pretty guilty about everything. He even called me a few nights ago asking if there were any new movies the kids might want because, as he put it, “I think I’ll have to appease them for a while since they’ll probably be upset about everything.” Translation: “I fucked up and need to buy them something to make them and me feel better about it all.”
To make matters worse, if you remember, the kids came back from Dad’s house at Thanksgiving telling me Dad and woman might be getting married. Right after my ex told me about the split, Zach mentioned to me that he couldn’t wait for Dad to get married so he’d have stepfamily. I asked what would happen if Dad didn’t get married, “Oh, he will.” “Zach, but what if they don’t get married?” “Well, that’ll be okay too.” However, he’s been mentioning it constantly over the past couple of weeks, even as recently as three days ago when he was adamant that “Dad only changes his mind about things about work; he doesn’t change his mind about things like that [getting married].” That actually made me chuckle inside because I really wanted to say, “Gee, Dad changed his mind about being married to me,” but I didn’t, of course.
So not only is Dad breaking the news about girlfriend not being around anymore, but they definitely won’t be getting married, and Dad’s already moved without the kids having a chance to say goodbye to girlfriend. Wish them luck because they’re going to be upset. New movies and video games might work for a while but I’ll be the one to hear about the sadness, disappointment, and anger when they get back. I can handle it; I’ve done it before (and I’m sure I’ll do it again) but I really hate, and I don’t use that word often, the fact that my kids have to go through this yet again. With luck Dad will stay single for a while and learn to interact with the kids on his own but something tells me that won’t happen. I’m sure the next babe is just over the horizon.
Regardless, I used my time, after the kids left today, to realign and get my positive energy flowing so I’ll be able to handle whatever they bring my way when they return tomorrow. I did some cleaning, laundry, and overall relaxing. I’m in a great frame of mind, my positive energy is flowing, and I feel like I can handle anything that comes my way. I hope the kids will be able to handle Dad’s news but it’s unlikely; especially since Zach already has trust issues. But, as my friend’s mom told me the other day, “Kids only need one stable parent.” She’s right; and my kids have had me all their lives. I’m still waiting for Dad to get his act together; unfortunately, that day may never come. We can only hope. In the meantime, I’ll just keep being there for my kids when they need me; that’s my job and I cherish every moment of it.
Until next time…peace to all.
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