DOL and Graduation

I left off at the end of my DSS appointment on day one saying that I had to return the next day at 10:00 in the morning to actually meet with the DOL dude. That I did. I got the boys on their bus, did my chore at the shelter, got myself and Dolly ready and off we went. Just like the day before I showed my appointment letter to the guy behind the window but he didn’t understand why I was there since my appointment was from the day before.

I had to spend 15 minutes explaining to him what had happened the day before. He acted as if he didn’t believe me and thought I’d been the one to modify the original appointment letter until he asked the woman I’d dealt with the day before. She explained everything and he understood what she said even though I’d told him the exact same thing minutes before. I guess DSS workers speak a different language than the rest of us.

Regardless, he gave me my number and Dolly and I sat down to wait. The thing is you never know how long you’ll have to wait because, even though you get a ticket with a number on it, the numbers don’t get called in order. I could have number 423 and 27 numbers in the 600s can be called before me. Just another fucked up system in the social services arena. But I had an appointment so my wait wasn’t supposed to be too long. However, like the day before we waited about 45 minutes before I had to ask when I’d be called. Remember, Zach’s graduation ceremony was that day, and it was slated to begin at 2:00. I had to get in and out of the DOL appointment and then drive 45 minutes out to his school. I was nervous.

I got called in about 12:00 and figured I had plenty of time for him to go through all his bullshit before I had to leave to get to Zach’s school. He was only supposed to take about 45 minutes, remember? That was a lie in itself. This dude spent almost an hour talking to me about shit I already knew and making me realize that the Department of Labor doesn’t do a fucking thing to help anyone get a job. Dude gave me pages upon pages of job search web sites, web sites that I told him I’d visited dozens of times already and couldn’t find anything to fit my criteria or needs. I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Paralegal Studies. Every single ad I’d found for paralegal needs wanted 2+ years of experience, something I didn’t have. I explained that anyone that wanted to hire me wouldn’t pay more than $10 an hour and wages like that wouldn’t pay for before/after care at the schools for the boys, not including daycare for Dolly.

Mind you, I have absolutely no objection to hard work and have, at times in my life, worked two and three jobs at a time. My problem was that I couldn’t find one job that would pay me to support my family because all my money would go to daycare costs. If I got a second job to supplement the first I’d have additional child care costs and the second job would pay for that. I was screwed no matter which way I looked at it. No matter what I told this guy he kept telling me to check the web sites and I’d eventually find something. Blah, blah, blah…as if I hadn’t been trying already.

When I asked him how I was supposed to do all these searches when I wasn’t allowed to have my computer at the shelter he told me I could use the libraries or I could visit the DOL central office and use the computers there. He said they had computers, fax machines, and even résumé assistance. I already had a résumé that I made with the assistance of an employment specialist from the college I’d attended and that it was saved on my desktop computer. Then I asked him what I was supposed to do about it when every company now has online hiring. It’s not like it was when I was a kid: walk in, fill out an app, speak to a manager, and maybe get hired. Most companies today want applicants to submit their résumé online. He said they had software to help me recreate it in the DOL offices. I had to laugh at him.

I flat out told him that there was no way I was going to create a résumé that contained my personal information on a computer that was open to the public, not in his offices, not at the library. I didn’t have the money for a flash drive so in order for me to use their computers I’d literally have to recreate my résumé every day, submit to potential employers, and then delete it. That was not going to happen. He had no answer for me. Then I looked at the clock. It was already 12:45 so I asked him how much longer I’d be there. I told him I HAD to be out of there by 1:15 in order to make it to Zach’s graduation. He said he was almost done but kept talking anyway.

Basically he was chatting with me telling me that things would get easier and all that bullshit. I wanted to slap the crap out of him. He just wouldn’t shut up. Finally he told me I was going to have to do job search logs for the next month and turn them in at my next appointment. Remember the housing logs with the 30 calls a week for potential housing? Well the job search logs were similar: find help wanted ads, write down if I’d visited in person, called on the phone, submitted a résumé online, what the position was, and for what company. He spent time telling me that travel from place to place counted as my time spent on these logs. Why did travel time count? Because I had to do 40 hours of job searches a week. You heard that, right? 40 HOURS OF JOB SEARCHES A WEEK!!

How the fuck was I supposed to do 40 hours of job searches and search and call 30 potential apartment rentals in the course of a week? My boys were out of the house from 7:15 until 5:00. That’s ten hours, right? Right. But I still had Dolly with me during the day, and the boys would be out of school in a week. Did these morons actually expect me to get all that work done, which was impossible to begin with, when I had three kids with me all day every day? Yes they did. I stared at the guy like he had three heads. Job searches had to be done during business hours, of course, and calling real estate agents and potential landlords generally had to take place during business hours. I’m not calling someone about an apartment for rent during dinner hours or later. I don’t like getting calls then and I’m not doing it to someone else.

These DOL people and their rules are completely asinine. But that wasn’t my biggest concern at the moment. This jackass kept talking to me and I was running out of time. I explained again about Zach’s graduation and where it was and he said he was almost finished, but he kept talking, telling me how easy the job search logs were to do. I was in tears and I was getting loud. I know the dude was doing his job but I could have been finished a half hour earlier had he not been hell bent on trying to sooth my nerves about this stupid assignment he was giving me. Just shut up and let me go!!!

He saw me getting more and more upset and finally said he just needed to make copies of everything he was giving me and I’d be free to go. He’d already told me when my next appointment would be, and that it would be at the DOL office so he left to make my copies. I was almost hysterical, and close to sobbing. It was almost 1:30 and I still had to drive the 45 minutes to Zach’s school. I told Dolly that when the man came back and gave me my papers she and I were going to run like our asses were on fire out to the car and get to the school. She agreed. Dude came back, handed me my papers, shook my hand, and wished me luck. And Dolly and I took off like nobody’s business.

People in the waiting area were staring at us like we were criminals but I didn’t care. We were running at full speed, weaving in and out of rows of people waiting to take care of business, and my face was streaked with tears. They knew I meant business and nobody stopped us. We raced to the van, got strapped in and I flew. I got to the parkway and never looked back. I drove carefully but with great urgency, and thank goodness there was no traffic. We got to the school right at 2:00 but the parking lot was full and there were cars parked up and down the roadway for blocks. I found a place to park on the street and Dolly and I ran again, through the mud on the side of the roadway and then through the parking lot, until we got to the front doors. We were out of breath, and I was so angry I couldn’t see straight. I was missing my son’s second-grade graduation ceremony because of the stupid rules of the fucking State of NY.

Zach was going to be so disappointed if he looked in the audience and I wasn’t there for him. It was breaking my heart. My hands were shaking as I signed the sign-in sheet at the front desk and I was almost in tears again. The man at the table said the ceremony was literally just starting because it took them a while to get all the kids filed into the gym. I calmed a little bit but was still nervous that I had missed something. Dolly and I found seats amongst all the parents but all the graduates were sitting in rows on the floor so I couldn’t see Zach. The principal had just started his commencement speech and was introducing different teachers who were speaking.

When the teacher who’d been in charge of the yearbook spoke he announced all of the parents who’d helped him on the school yearbook; I was one of them, I’d taken pictures of the Art teachers. He asked us to stand and be recognized as he called our names and as I stood I spotted Zach on the floor staring at me and smiling so proudly that my heart almost burst. I’d made it to his graduation and just sitting here writing this I’m crying happy tears as I remember his little face beaming up at me. I was as proud of him as he was of me. If I had missed the ceremony because of that bullshit DOL meeting someone would have gotten more than an earful from me the next day. I just thank the Universe for helping me get there to celebrate my son’s accomplishment.

My apologies for running on tonight but that DOL appointment was one that really got me angry and I had a lot to say about it, as you can tell. It just seems to me that the social services system has a lot of dumbass rules for people to follow yet none of the rules actually helps anyone get out of the system for good. I had more appointments with DOL that I’ll get to soon enough but tomorrow I’ll tell you what happens when all the pressure builds up and has no place to go. I’m surprised people in the social services system don’t end up in hospitals at a significant rate.

Until next time…peace to all.