A Minor Gripe, I Think

I'm having a really hard time trying to explain to my kids that they can't be disrespectful and that they have to follow rules these days. They're constantly seeing adults being rude as well as seeing adults allowing kids to be rude. We went to a little trunk-or-treat event today over by the management office where we live. For those who may not know, trunk-or-treat is a safe way for kids to go trick-or-treating without going from house to house. The agency/church/school has their employees line their cars up around a field or parking lot with the trunks open and the kids file past collecting candy from the owner of the vehicle. It's usually quick and the kids have fun.

The office did that for the kids in the area today and there were rules to follow; some stated, some just a natural given because it's basic common courtesy. One of the rules was that all children had to be accompanied by an adult yet there were numerous kids there with their friends but no parent or adult supervisor anywhere in sight. There was also a line to follow.

My kids and I, along with our neighbor and her two boys all got on the line. There were people ahead of us and people behind us yet somehow we got separated along the way with my neighbor and her boys getting shuffled further back in line. Not only that but Ty and Dolly ended up seven people ahead of Zach and me. How did that happen, you may ask. I'll tell you how. It's because adults were allowing children to enter the line wherever and whenever they felt like it.

All seven of my group were standing together as the line began moving. The lady who had been in front of me with her two girls saw a couple of her neighbor's kids come running across the lawn to get in line and rather than telling them to go to the end of the line she just automatically assumed I would be okay with her letting these four extra girls get in front of my kids and me. Then, as she waited for a couple more kids to come running to her group she allowed Ty and Dolly to move ahead in the line while she made the rest of us wait.

Behind me the same thing was apparently happening. My neighbor had turned her head to say hi to someone she knew and because she wasn't looking another group of kids, along with their adult, moved right into the middle of the line, even though there were about fifty people behind them. How do I tell my kids not to shove into a line when adults are allowing kids to do it right in front of them? If you say something to the adult you get attitude in return, and kids without an adult with them seem to think they have the right to do what they please. Since the day was supposed to be about the kids I just kept my mouth shut.

I know this is a small issue but it irks me. I'm trying to raise my kids to be respectful to others under any circumstances but it's hard when they see so much disrespect around them all the time. The adults who don't care teach it to their kids; the same way that my other neighbor taught her kid to be a racist bully. It's disgusting sometimes, it really is.

I can be driving my car through the complex and slow down or stop for kids in the way who just stare at me with attitude while they walk to the side of the road. It's almost like they think they own the road and I'm inconveniencing them. Walking into a store where a kid or teen has just entered or exited is just as bad. You'd think they'd hold the door when they see someone coming but they don't; they just let it close as if the next person isn't even there.

My kids hold the door open for the person behind them even if my kids have the option of entering or exiting first. They don't, though; they get to the door, check to see if someone else is coming and hold the door to let others go through first, then my kids will go. It's common courtesy. And my kids always thank the person who holds a door for them. I can't tell you how many times I've held a door for someone who just ignored me. Most times I'll just let the rudeness pass but if I'm in a mood I'll yell, "You're welcome" after the person has moved past me without so much as a nod of the head. My kids have witnessed and know why I do it.

I just can't stand the fact that so few people these days actually care about using manners and respectful behavior, much less teaching them to their kids. Yet these same people get pissed off when someone treats a member of their family rudely, and will also give serious attitude when their own rude behavior is pointed out to them. This isn't new, I've been witnessing it for over 20 years, but it's really getting on my nerves now because I have kids who are always asking me why people are rude and allowed to get away with it.

My standard answer is, "Some people just don't care about being respectful or following rules. Our family does, though." My kids are getting tired of hearing it and I'm getting tired of saying it. It's just too bad rudeness isn't a crime that can be branded on a person so we'd all know to steer clear. I tell my kids to just stay positive and thank a rude person for his or her input, wish the person a good day, and walk away smiling. Maybe we can be contagious and our attitudes will catch on; maybe not. At least we're doing what we can to be good people. It's the best my little family can do.

Until next time...peace to all.