Keep Your Drama to Yourself, Please and Thanks

I try to maintain a calm existence, I really do. It doesn't always work but I work at it the best I can, and it does take work, especially with three kids who are constantly fighting with one another. That I can handle; I'm used to it and can diffuse whatever comes along. I can even give diffuse situations between adults when the need arises, but there is just some drama that I refuse to let into my life.

My ex moved into his own place yesterday but he, like a few other people I know, have great difficulty being alone. Remember "Jerry Maguire?" "He can't be alone." That's my ex and a few assorted friends. I'm constantly listening to them whine and complain that they have nobody and that they're lonely and that they need someone to hold them. Seriously? Go away with that crap.

Maybe, just maybe, if they loved themselves and knew who they really are, they'd be able to hold onto relationships a little better. Now, I'm no relationship expert - most of mine have been terrible, even relationships with my family - but I do know that I'm not ready to invite someone into my life right now because I have too many other things to work on first. For me to bring someone in now would just make us both miserable and that wouldn't be fair to either of us.

So my ex and my friends are single and lonely and I don't want to listen to all the bullshit. What do they instead? They pull all kinds of self-pity crap and fake loads of drama to get attention. One friend was constantly posting on Facebook about how she was going to kill herself because she was all alone and had no friends and nobody loved her, blah, blah, blah. She has four kids and loads of friends. Regardless she'd make these posts and wait for her friends to respond telling her how much they loved her, and on and on.

What did I say in my response to her? I told her flat out to cut the bullshit. The kids and I were in the shelter at the time, I had no money, and no other options but I still didn't sit around feeling sorry for myself. I told my friend the same thing in almost those same words. I told her to shut up about not having a man in her life and to realize that things could be a lot worse for her. She deleted her post almost immediately after my response went up. She was fine for a while but is starting her "I have no man again" bullshit. Ugh.

My ex is the same way. Today he had the kids over there for a while and sent them home around 5:00 so he could continue unpacking and they could eat dinner and get ready for school tomorrow. Around 5:30 I got a text from him telling me to call the police before he killed someone. I have no idea who the someone was or what was going on. I texted him twice and called once but got no answer. He finally called me back a few minutes later telling me "It's all good. It's all good. A little Crazy Glue and some stitches. I've gotta go, I've gotta go." Whatever the fuck that means.

Basically I chalked it up to his basic attention-getting drama. I found out from a mutual friend that he was texting her up until five minutes before he texted me with his drama so I have no other option but to believe it was all crap. I haven't heard from him since so I'm guessing all is well on his end. I just can't take him, or anyone else, trying to lay their shit on me for no reason. Honestly, what did he expect me to do at that moment? Run over there to his rescue? I've got our kids here, what was I supposed to do with them? He can be such a dumbass sometimes, and so can everyone else who tries this shit on me.

I don't have time for soap operas and drama and self pity in my life so I'm certainly not going to accept it from anyone else. I'm trying to figure out a way to make sure everyone knows that I'm there for them as long as their issue is genuine; it it's not, call someone who actually cares. I don't mean to sound harsh but my kids give me enough to handle, I don't need it from adults, too. I'm just gonna keep breathing in and out and let it be and live my life. It is what it is and I'm going to accept that.

Until next time...peace to all.