Lonely is the Night

The kids went to Paul's last night and will be back home tomorrow night sometime. I spent last night watching TV by myself and spent the first part of today doing the same. I finally decided to get up and do a few things around the house that needed to be done. I've spent the last couple of weeks with my room and my daughter's room in disarray because I finally got a small dresser from a friend but all my stuff doesn't fit in it. Dolly asked if she and I could swap her dresser for my standing shelves and I agreed but I just haven't gotten it done - until today.

It was hard and the pieces were heavy but I got it done. I put the shelves in her room along with the bookshelf that had been in my room and I took her taller dresser. I replaced her small TV with a larger one that Paul, my ex, had given me for her but it was too big for the small wall unit she had in her room so I put it on her other dresser and removed the wall unit from her room and even dragged it all the way to the basement to use for storage down there. Her small TV is sitting in the corner of my living room until I can put it on Craigslist.

My room is finally cleaned up and everything in, sort of, a place where it belongs and I can actually walk through it without having to step over books and piles of clothing. I just need to borrow a vacuum cleaner from a neighbor to do my bedroom carpet. My room is the only one with carpet and my vacuum broke before we moved back in 2010 so I haven't replaced it. I just keep borrowing someone else's. Eventually I'll get a small vacuum to keep here.

All the work today only took me about 4 1/2 hours but it was hard and my back is really sore right now from all the lifting and dragging of furniture but it was worth it. Two rooms are livable again. Tomorrow I'll do the boys' room and do the laundry which won't help my back but at least everything will be done. There isn't any furniture to move in the boys' room, it just needs a really good cleaning and some organization.

I'm sidestepping, though. Once I got done with the chores today I showered, fed the cats and walked across the street to the QuikTrip to get a soda and a couple of hot dogs. I was starving and didn't feel like cooking anything. When I got home I added about two shots of vodka to my 52oz soda just to relax a bit and ate the hot dogs in about ten minutes flat. I'd only had a bowl of oatmeal this morning so I was really hungry.

I'm sidestepping, again. Why? Because the only human being I've spoken to today is the guy at QuikTrip and I'm lonely and bored. I was actually lonely last night about two hours after the kids left but tonight it seems to be worse. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying my time alone and all the peace and quiet but I'm still lonely.

I could call a friend but that would break the silence. Yes, I have the TV on but that's not the same a talking to someone; I don't have to say anything to watch a movie. It would be nice, though, to have someone here watching the movies with me, without speaking, of course. I don't like talking when I'm watching a movie; and nobody is allowed to talk when "Supernatural" is on on Wednesday nights. I actually tell that to anyone who calls or texts during the show, and my kids know it's a rule for me.

Anyway, I'm sitting here by myself, having finished watching one movie, just finishing watching another, and preparing to watch a third. Then I'll go upstairs to bed, still lonely and wake up tomorrow to do the rest of my chores. Then the kids will be home in the evening and I won't be lonely anymore. The noise will resume, the chaos will start and life as I know it will be back to the way it's supposed to be. In two weeks they'll go back to their dad's and I'll be sitting here, alone again - naturally.

Until next time...peace to all.