Same Old Dilemmas, Repeating

Yesterday I said I was feeling much better. Today I’m almost back to 100%. Being able to turn my head is a blessing, especially when it comes to driving. Pinched nerves happen, but they heal. I’m sure it’ll happen again, too; I just hope not too soon.

Anyway, here’s my dilemma. Remember I talked about the issues I’m having trying to get the boys on buses and Dolly to school? It’s happening again. Tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday are big problems this week. I’ll spell it out for you. Ty and Big Boy have to get on their bus at 8:00; Dolly has to be in school 20 minutes away at 8:15; and Zach and Little Boy have to get on their bus at 9:00. On the butt end of the day Ty and Big Boy get off their bus at 3:00; Dolly has to be retrieved by 3:15; and Zach and Little Boy get off their bus at 4:00.

What’s been happening is that I leave the house with Dolly at 7:50 and Kara gets the first two boys loaded on their bus at 8:00. I get Dolly to school, help her and the teacher set the tables for breakfast and I’m back home in time to get Zach and Little Boy on their bus. The same happens in the afternoon. Kara is here for the first bus while I pick up Dolly, and I’m home again in time for the second bus to arrive. It’s been working pretty well so far. The problems are starting to creep up on us now.

Tomorrow Kara has to leave at 9:15 for business meetings and won’t be back in time for the afternoon buses. If I wait for the 3:00 bus to arrive and take the boys with me to pick up Dolly, I might, because of really heavy traffic at that hour, be really late getting her and that’s not permitted unless I pay to keep her there for the extra time. I can’t do that. Even if I could pick her up late, we may not be back in time for the second bus. Instead, I have to pick her up an hour early to be able to make it back in time for both buses.

Then, on Wednesday, Kara and the boys won’t even be here. They’re staying with her mom Tuesday night so they can all go into the City on Wednesday to do a family thing. I’m here alone to get all my kids off to and home from school. If I take Zach and Ty with me to drop off Dolly, Ty will be late for school. If I stay and put Ty on his bus and then take Zach with me to drop off Dolly, she will be late for school. Either way I do it one kid will be late for school and will miss breakfast. Yes, I could feed that child at home but that means we all have to get up earlier than we already do and that makes for cranky children. Since I’m not a morning person, cranky and I don’t get along very well.

So now say I decide to drop Dolly off late on Wednesday. Everyone has their day in school but I’m back to the issue of picking up someone early or picking up someone late. I’m screwed either way. If I drop off Dolly late and pick her up early, I’m basically wasting gas and time for her to have an extremely shortened day. Is it worth it? I’m thinking it’s not. Since she’s only in Pre-K I think it’s better to make sure the boys actually get to school on time and be able to finish their full days. I’m leaning toward just keeping Dolly at home with me on Wednesday and getting some things done around here. I hate having to do it but I hate the thought of wasting my gas for her to be in school for a half day even more.

I spent a lot of time on the phone today calling bus companies to see if I can arrange transportation for her. It was all in vain. The bus companies around here only work in their respective school districts and won’t cross lines. That’s really annoying since I’m sure a lot of the parents that take their kids to Dolly’s school would prefer to have their child transported on a bus rather than having to make the drive every day, twice a day. It also sucks that the Federal government won’t allot them the funding to hire buses for their students. What makes that really bad is that they, those government people, don’t take into consideration that parents like me don’t have the resources needed in situations like this. If I wasn’t living in Kara’s home I’d have never have been able to put Dolly in school this year.

I guess I’ll just have to look forward to next year when Dolly will be in Kindergarten and will be on the bus every morning. That will also allow me the time to find work; I hope. Right now I’m down to asking for internships or volunteering for attorneys. Nobody who’s hiring wants anyone that doesn’t have experience – “At least two years experience required.” That doesn’t give someone like me very many opportunities. I’ll have to study the NY Rules of Civil Procedure and offer myself to every attorney in town here just to get some basic experience. The bus situation makes that all the harder because I can only work from 9:30 to about 2:30. How many employers are willing to pay someone to work only five hours a day? Not many in the legal field; hence the need for an internship or volunteer work.

If I can get someone to let me work for a lesser salary, or even for free, to gain some needed experience, maybe next year, when school is in session after the summer, I’ll be able to get hired on full time somewhere and show the legal world that I am the shit at what I know how to do. Right now it’s the best I can hope for. I even thought about being a process server just to make some money nights while I work volunteering as a paralegal a couple of hours during the day. Turns out that process servers in NY need to be licensed and have to post a $10,000 surety bond just to work independently. I could work for a company and not have to post the bond but I’d still have to pay for the license and that’s a couple of hundred dollars. Grrrrrrrrrrrr…

I just need one little piece of positive energy to come flowing my way. I said the other day that I can feel the energy shifting toward the positive; it’s just not shifting quickly enough for me. I’m too impatient. Have I mentioned that? I’m sure I have. I just can’t stand that each thing I want to do with my life is contingent upon something else happening first. It sucks but there’s nothing I can do about it. It is what it is. No, I’m not complaining, just telling it like it is. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have something more exciting to tell you. If not, you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.

Until next time…peace to all.