Sorry I haven’t been here lately but I’ve been having lots of alone time. My kids went to their dad’s on Friday evening and, even with Kara and her kids home, I’ve been by myself much of the weekend. I spent all day Saturday cleaning, and then Sunday I cleaned out Dolly’s dressers to get rid of the “I don’t like”s and the “This doesn’t fit”s so she can have more drawer space. I’d done all of the laundry before they left and only had one final load to do after I finished cleaning – you know, the stuff you find hidden in kids’ rooms under beds, between toy boxes, and all that. Once that was finished on Saturday I, quite literally, had nothing to do but watch TV or Netflix. I’ve been having a blast.
Don’t get me wrong; I miss the kids tremendously but I really needed a break. Just being able to sleep in my own bed without getting kicked in the leg or smacked in the face during the course of the night has been a pleasure. Of course, both cats still feel the need to sleep on me all night long, but they’re more than willing to readjust their positions when I move; unlike Dolly who fights me when I try to move her in her sleep. Regardless, I’ve been sleeping well, sleeping late, and just plain relaxing.
Tonight I spent about three hours watching stand-up on Netflix just because I felt like laughing. I watched “Bill Engvall: 15 Degrees Off Cool” which was hilarious; “Brian Regan: The Epitome of Hyperbole” which was alright, I’ve seen better from him; and “Jake Johannsen: I Love You” which had me laughing so hard I actually had to pause it for a few minutes so my stomach would stop hurting. I laughed until I had tears running and it was great.
I also had to laugh when I went out earlier to run a couple of errands. As I was leaving the house I saw one of those smart cars drive by and I bust out laughing every time I see one of them. Who gave these people permission to call that little tiny machine a car? Dolly’s plastic Barbie car is bigger than a smart car, and probably goes just as fast if you push it hard enough. They’re so tiny, though, that I don’t think anyone over 5’5” would be able to drive it comfortably. Imaging a dude over 6’ tall sitting in the driver seat. He’d be chewing his kneecaps while he was driving.
What would happen, too, if a person was in an accident in one of those things? If the accident was bad enough they’d just have to bury the whole car with the driver in it; the work it would take to get him or her out would take forever. I’m sorry but I can’t see myself driving a vehicle that I can wash in my bathtub. I think I’ll stick with Morrison, my mommy van. It’s a gas guzzler but at least I feel safe in it. It’s hard to rock out in Morrison, though; every time a great song comes on and I feel like bopping along, I feel like everyone watching me is pointing and laughing at the lady who obviously has kids – even if they’re not in the van it’s a given – trying to be cool. I do my best and just enjoy the ride. Hey, it’s all a part of living life to the fullest, right?
So I’ve been watching comedy, laughing at myself in my van, and just doing my thing while the kids are gone. They’ll be home tomorrow evening but Paul will be picking them up again on Friday for his first Easter weekend with them. What makes this coming weekend even better is that Kara and her kids will be gone from Wednesday evening until Monday. I’ll have the entire house to myself the entire weekend. Granted, I won’t spend any of my time upstairs, and I’ll have to tend to the dogs, but it’ll be the first time I’ll actually be completely alone in a long time. I’ll have to do some serious planning about what I want to watch, what I want to do. I’m sure I’ll have a little bit of cleaning to do after the kids leave on Friday, because they can definitely make a mess in just a couple of days, but after I’m done, I’ll be back to having nothing to do. I can’t wait. All the alone time just makes their arrival back home that much more fun. I miss their hugs and kisses and laughter, and them just being here.
But it’s been great for a few days and I think I’ve gotten myself realigned and my energy back on the positive setting. Everything seems to be running smoothly and all the negative crap that’s taken place I’ve been able to laugh at and put behind me. I’ll have to keep doing that because it just lightens my mood and makes me a better me. That’s all I can do, right? As long as I can keep it going, I know everything will be fine for us. It always is and it will continue to be, regardless of what steps in my way. Now, if I could only find a way to get what I want now rather than when the Universe decides, I’d be onto something. I’ll keep trying and just do the best I can with what I've got in the meantime.
Until next time…peace to all.
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