How come I don’t have any talent? I sit here, night after night, watching Disney Channel with my kids and I see all these actors on the shows that have to know how to sing, dance, and play instruments. It’s a basic requirement to be able to work for Disney Channel but that’s beside the point. There are dozens of kids and adults who have some sort of amazing talent, and I don’t begrudge them that, but I have none. Hell, I can’t even write a story for kids. I don’t have a good imagination.
When I was in elementary school I tried learning the flute. Thought it would be nice to know how to play something but I just didn’t have the patience to practice like I was supposed to. In junior high we were required to play an instrument so I learned piano, but only enough that I could learn in the six weeks of the semester. I also tried playing guitar but that practice thing got in the way again. That was another six weeks of music and I never kept up with it. It just didn't interest me enough.
I know for a fact that I can’t sing and a lot of times I’ll deliberately sing really bad when I’m with the kids just so I can make them laugh. Ty tells me that I can sing but I think he’s just tone deaf and can’t tell the good from the bad. J Dancing is also not something that I’m really good at. I can keep a beat and I have fun when I hear something that I can dance to, but I’ve never had any lessons so “real” dancing isn’t in my repertoire. I have, on occasion, gotten out of the car and danced in the middle of the street to get the kids out of a funk, though. It works every time; they have to laugh watching me make an ass of myself. That I’m really good at.
I used to be able to draw. I spent a lot of time doing that and had some really good feedback on my artwork, especially in grade school. I drew all the time and was commissioned to draw posters and such. I don’t do that anymore, though. There was one time in grade school that I was supposed to write a story and I actually did. It was great too. It was about a family that was going on vacation in their van and the van went over a cliff. Sounds gruesome, right? Not really. At the end of the story you find out that the entire story was the imagination of a little boy playing with Matchbox cars. I got a really good grade on it but later got kicked out of Honors English in junior high because I couldn’t write in the WIF sandwich formula they required.
I don’t follow a formula when I write; I write whatever pops into my head – as you all know if you follow my blog. The WIF sandwich, however, was supposed to teach us to write with an opening, a body, and a closing. My writing doesn’t follow that and I couldn’t force it to. We also weren’t allowed to use the word ‘you’ when talking to the reader. If we did, the teacher circled it in red and wrote the word ‘piggy’ on our paper. What the fuck? The point was that ‘you’ was too broad a term and we were supposed to use words and phrases like ‘he or she’, ‘one’, and ‘a person.’ That sucked and as hard as I tried I always seemed to put ‘you’ in there at least once in every paper. So on to AB English I went where there were no writing formulas we had to use.
I still can’t write, though. I mean, I can write, but I can’t make up stuff. Like I said, I my imagination isn’t very imaginative. When I have to plan gifts for the kids to make, I Google ideas because I can’t come up with any on my own. I think I did once, maybe twice, but, for the most part, someone has to help me. Same with bedtime stories. I read them from books; I don’t make them up on the spot. I can write if you tell me what to write about but I don’t come up with my own ideas. I guess that’s why I stick to doing what I do; I help my friends who are writing books by proofreading and editing their work. That’s about the extent of my given talents when it comes to the arts. Otherwise, I’m just me, talentless and bland.
I’m not getting down on myself, don’t think that. I can do things. I can put together anything you give me – I love to build stuff; and I can research anything you want me to and get you the information, but those are also someone else’s ideas. I just think it would be nice to be able to come up with my own original idea and do something with it. Since I can’t sing, dance, or play an instrument, I would like to be able to just sit at my keyboard and have my ideas flow to the screen and be interesting enough for people to want to read. Yes, I have this blog but it’s basically for me to vent or just to occupy my time by putting my thoughts in print. You have to admit, it’s not very creative. Shit, there are millions of blogs out there and most of them get read a lot more than mine does.
Maybe if I had a standard topic to discuss every day it would be different. I don’t write about current events, movies, books, or anything else that would really interest the general public. I write about whatever happens to be on my mind that particular day. If I did have a standard topic, though, I’d probably get bored with it just like I did with the flute, piano, and guitar and it wouldn’t last very long. Then where would I be? I’ll tell you. I’d be sitting here wondering what I could do to occupy the time I used to spend blogging. That would certainly be no fun.
Maybe this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Maybe I’m just supposed to enjoy the wondrous talents of others and be content with my own little corner in the World. I guess I’m okay with that. I just sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a creative talent, whether I did anything with it or not. Just to be able to sit by myself and sing a song, on key, might be fun. Oh well, I am happy with who I am, and I like my life, and I like my little blog, regardless of how many people actually see it. It’s mine, and it’s who I am, and I’m pretty spectacular. I'm smart, funny, I have a great personality, and I'm a good person. Yep, I’m happy to be alive, and I appreciate all that I have and all that I am. Nothing wrong with that.
Until next time…peace to all.
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