Trick or Treat

Halloween this year was a blast!! It started off with Zach’s school parade and Ty’s classroom party on Friday; last night we went to a Halloween party; and tonight it was, of course, trick-or-treating with the kids. My boys stayed at Paul’s last night so they could go trick-or-treating with him, but Dolly stayed with me. So Kara and I got her kids and Dolly ready around 3:00 and headed out for the fun. Her ex was along to go with their kids so with three kids and three adults the kid/adult ratio was pretty great.

We rode in the car to different areas of the neighborhood since some of the places are extremely busy with traffic or have lots of hills. We avoided many of them and found some decent places for the kids to walk without any problems. We three adults were having fun walking and talking but after the second section we visited Kara got cold and decided to just stay in the car and follow us up the streets. Her ex and I chatted as we walked and the kids ran from house to house; and we’d occasionally fish a treat out of one of the kids’ bags. Heaven help us if we got caught.

In the next-to-last neighborhood we visited an SUV stopped near the house we were standing in front of and Kara’s ex and I just figured he was waiting to get into the driveway after our kids left the porch. Much to my surprise, it was my ex delivering my boys back to me. They’d stopped at our house and were told, by Kara’s current, which street we were on so he came and found us. That was a nice surprise. They boys got to finish trick-or-treating with us and we all got to enjoy the day together. We went to one last neighborhood and then headed home, tired but happy.

The kids were all anxious to dip into their bags but we made them wait until after dinner so they all played a video game until it was time to eat. Afterward it was time for jammies and then bed but everyone had to have a treat first. It’s Halloween, how could we deny them? So they had a little snack and it was off to sleep to get rested for school tomorrow.

Kara and I ended our evening as usual, playing Bananagrams with the added bonus of getting to dip into the candy that didn’t get handed out to trick-or-treaters. She won a couple of games, I won a couple and we both got to relax. Now I’m sitting here reflecting on the days’ events and I don’t think I would change anything. All of the kids got to enjoy both of their parents today, and everyone, children and adults included, had a great holiday. That’s as it should be, and I can’t wait for all the other wonderful holidays to come.

Until next time…peace to all.

Traffic Sucks

One thing I never missed about New York is the traffic. The very first night back, October 14th, I was immediately hit with traffic while driving through the City; no surprises there. Then we hit the LIE and getting through Queens was the pits – stop and go all the way. Once we hit Nassau County, though, things opened up and it was smooth sailing all the way out to Rocky Point. The thing is, I was never really comfortable on Missouri roadways unless they were local, and I didn’t have a chance to get comfortable on Maryland roads; but I was completely comfortable driving on the roads out here, even in the rain that night. I did learn to drive on them so it’s only fitting, even after being away for almost six years.

Then I started driving on them during the day, when roadways were crowded with New York drivers. Ugh!! Stop, go, brake, brake harder, tailgate, speed to a stoplight, change lanes without signaling, honk for no reason at all… Holy crow!! I guess being out of the traffic mix lessened the severity of my memories of it, but being back in it brought the memories flooding back in full force. Tonight was no exception.

We had to drive from Rocky Point to Mineola for a Halloween party. Kara drove my van there since it was in her old neighborhood; I just sat back and watched the traffic flow by us. I, kind of, strolled through memory lane as we passed the different exits; trying to remember where each one would take me. Some I remembered, some I didn’t; but I had fun trying. Then we got to the party, enjoyed ourselves, and it was time to go. We had to drop the boys off at Paul’s because they want to go trick-or-treating with him; Dolly wants to go with me.

Anyway, I drove this time. Familiar roadways with semi-familiar scenery; lots of things have changed since I left. One thing that stayed the same is the lunatic drivers. More than a half-a-dozen times I was cut off by some moron wanting to get from the left lane to the right turning lane – NOW. One lane of traffic tried not to allow me to get in line to merge onto the parkway. I forced it, though; had no choice. Once I got on, people entering the parkway didn’t want to yield to the already-moving traffic, as they should.

Then, after we dropped off the boys and started heading home, we came upon a sadly familiar sight – a five-car pile up across all three lanes of the eastbound highway. I pulled ahead of it and off to the side so Kara, a nurse, could see if anyone needed any medical help. Only one police officer had arrived since the accident had just happened. By the time she came back to the van there were six police cars, and about five other emergency vehicles with more on the way. There was a lot of automotive damage; and some physical injuries to the drivers and passengers involved, but all of them were minor.

What’s really sad is that this type of accident is something I’ve seen so many times that it doesn’t really affect me any more other than to aggravate me when rubberneckers slow traffic to a crawl. It’s just and all-too-familiar scene. Kara helped with what she could and we were on our way again. About 15 minutes from home we were on Sills Road, dark and winding with a speed limit of 50. With three kids still in the van, no street lights available, and being in a heavy deer crossing area I was going a little under the speed limit for the concern of safety.

Some asshole behind me was apparently impatient to get to wherever it was that he was going and rode my ass for a good long time. He flashed his brights and tailgated me until I finally made the room for him to pass me. Then, to be nasty, he layed on his horn as he passed, I guess to tell me what an idiot I am for not keeping up with the speed limit. Whatever. I told Kara that if that guy caused or was involved in an accident up ahead of us, we were not going to stop to help. Ten minutes later I was doing the speed limit and another dolt decided to flash his brights at me. What the fuck? Isn’t anyone allowed to drive the speed limit anymore, especially when there are children in the car? Apparently not in New York.

I say ‘tough shit!’ I’m going to drive how I feel comfortable driving when I’ve got children, some of them not my own, in my van. If people out here don’t like it, oh well. I’m going to do what I have to do to keep my kids safe in the car. If you feel the need to get to your destination so quickly, perhaps you should leave your place of origin a little sooner. Familiar roadways or not, I will not endanger the lives of my passengers for your convenience. Suck it up and go around, or get off the road altogether. I can handle it, though; I’m back and know how to drive here whether you agree or not. Deal with it!!

Until next time…peace to all.

Parades and Parties

We had a busy day today. Zach’s school was having a Harvest Day Parade (I guess they were being politically correct) and Ty’s class was having a Halloween party. I was attending both so there was a lot to do this morning to get everyone ready.

Costumes were optional for Ty’s party and, if they dressed up, they were supposed to be a character from a book. I’d been asking Ty to check with his teacher all week and he kept forgetting so I finally emailed his teacher who confirmed the costume issue with me on Thursday. Ty wanted to participate so we had to come up with a book character costume pronto. He wanted to be Harry Potter so we scrambled to find what we needed and, when all was said and done, he looked great for a 15-minute costume assembly.

Zach was supposed to be an envelope in his school parade. Each class was representing a different book they’d read and, although I can’t recall the name of the book Zach’s class did, I can tell you it’s about a lady who washes everything, including her mail, and hangs it on the line to dry. So Zach was a piece of mail and had to wear a blue pants and white shirt. All the kids in his class did so they’d look similar. That wasn’t too bad to put together accept that we don’t have a long-sleeved white shirt. He borrowed one from Kara’s oldest son.

So I got the boys off to school and got Dolly and me ready. Dolly is such a girly-girl that she just couldn’t decide what to wear. We were running out of time so she eventually settled for a Halloween shirt and jeans, with a Halloween hair jammie for her pony tail. Can I tell you how difficult she was being just to go to a parade and a short school party? I was ready to pull my hair out. Regardless, we made it out the door and to Zach’s school. There was absolutely no available parking at the school – the parade was taking place on the high school track and there were hundreds of family members there to see it – so we had to park in the shopping center parking lot at the end of the street and walk to the field.

The parade was wonderful and all the kids looked so adorable. They had kids dressed like crayons from the story, “The Crayon Box That Talked” and kids dressed like fish from the book “Rainbow Fish” and kids dressed like characters from Old McDonald’s farm. They were all too adorable and the teachers and parents were very creative with the costumes. It was such a pleasure to watch them all marching and waving. Then the High School marching band performed for a few minutes and it was over. I don’t like it when school events are over; they’re fun.

Then we went home and waited until time for Ty’s class party. We got there at 1:30 on the nose and there were already four other parents there. Even more came in after me. In the past five years that my kids have been going to school, I haven’t seen that many parents show up to a class party. Usually it’s one or two but never the ten that were there today in Ty’s class. I couldn’t help but be impressed at the parent turn out.

So the kids had a couple of activities to do; Dolly got to do some too and she loved it. She even helped Ty color his Halloween find-the-objects picture. She was proud to be a part of it and Ty was proud to show off his little sister. Then Ty’s teacher put out some food and drinks for everyone – chips, muffins, cakes, fun stuff like that – and all the kids ate quietly while working on their pictures. We all chatted and laughed and just enjoyed the time with the kids. When the teacher began handing out the goodie bags Dolly and I headed home. Ty would be on his way home just a few minutes later and we wanted to be home before Ty’s bus got there.

We got home tired but happy. It was such a positive day for all of us, and I loved being with the kids and watching Zach’s parade. The kids like me being there, too. They asked me all week if I was going to be at both activities. I wouldn’t have missed them. The kids are so happy when they see me that it makes me want to burst with pride. I just love their little happy faces. Today’s happiness makes me wonder…what activity will be next for us to attend?

Until next time…peace to all.

Can I Get There From Here?

What has happened to states, counties, towns, cities, and/or villages putting up street signs with actual street names on them, or, at least, putting up signs to give specific directions to a location? I went out to Riverhead today to pick up WIC checks. I mapped it on Google before I left home and did pretty well following the directions. It’s a straight shot on 25A going East. My directions told me to go to Main Street then to turn onto Peconic. I was then supposed to go to the traffic circle and get out of it at the first exit to Rte 63 then I’d find 300 Center Drive. Sounded easy enough.

I got to Main Street just fine. Nowhere, and that’s not an exaggeration, was there a street sign for Peconic. It was just by chance that I made a right turn (I was supposed to make a right onto Peconic) onto some nameless street and came to a traffic circle. How many could there be in this little place? I got into the traffic circle but, again, there was no sign for Rte 63. I was supposed to bear right so I did even though the sign said Rte 51. Then I saw signs for Suffolk County Center but I couldn’t get to the Center because there’d been a fork in the road that wasn’t mentioned on the directions. I’d gone to the right since I had no other information.

Suddenly I was passing the jail and decided that I needed to turn around since the Center was before the jail. I had to back track to get to the parking lot. Mind you, I only got there after driving around the traffic circle a couple of times and going farther up Main Street just in case there was a sign for Rte 63 that I hadn’t seen. I’d already been driving around there for 15 minutes and had called the WIC office to get better directions. The girl I spoke with told me to make the back track that I’d made.

So I made a U-turn and went into the parking lot of what I thought was the Center but the sign on the roadway said it was for Suffolk Community College. Regardless, I turned in and found a lot of buildings in there but no signs anywhere telling me where I was or what street I was on. I called the office again and told the same girl where I was. I described to her the building I was looking at and she told me to keep driving through the parking lot and to look for the brown building. NEWS FLASH: All the buildings there are brown. There was one in the far back of the complex that was dark brown but it was some sort of utility building.

Still on the phone with this girl I kept describing where I was but she couldn’t place my location in her mind. She told me to back track again to the traffic circle and to make the right and I’d see signs for the Health Center, which was the building I needed. Now I’m getting really frustrated because my van wasn’t running very smoothly and I was afraid I’d break down out there in Riverhead, miles from anyone I knew. I had Dolly with me so that would have sucked. Not to mention the fact that I am really uncomfortable getting lost when I’m alone. When I’ve got another adult in the car it isn’t a big deal.

Finally, after driving around for another 15 minutes pulled into a gas station and called the girl back. I told her that I’d try one more time to find the building but I’d go home if I couldn’t. I explained to her about the van and that I didn’t want to break down where I couldn’t get back home. I’m sure she could hear the frustration in my voice. I told her what gas station I was at and what I could see from my location. I also told her that the sign on the road in front of the parking lot that I’d just driven through (while I was on the phone with her) indicated that the college was there. Then she told me that she thought the college was a ways away from them. I asked here, “A ways away from you on the road, or a ways away from you in the parking lot?” Then she got the idea to ask someone else in her office to get on the phone with me.

A woman got on the phone and asked me exactly where I was. I told her. She directed me to go out of the parking lot of the gas station, to bear right out of the traffic circle and to fork left and go onto a smaller road. This second woman stayed on the phone with me and talked me past the first two entrances and into the third entrance of the parking lot. GUESS WHAT!! It was the exact same parking lot I’d driven through the first time when the first girl on the phone couldn’t tell me where I was. This other woman told me to go slowly and to look to my right. There was a sign that said, “Health Center” that wasn’t visible from the way I’d entered the parking lot the first time because I’d gotten there via the first entrance. She could actually see me from the window where she was standing and came downstairs to walk me up to the WIC office.

I went through all of that trouble to find a building that I’d already been looking at a half hour before. Had there been actual signs with real names and directions on them, I wouldn’t have had to keep calling and I would have just parked and gone in when I got there. I also was pissed off that Google Maps, which I use all the time and have never had a problem with, gave me bogus directions to follow. From the time I left home it should have taken me a half hour, at most, to get to the building. Because of the bad directions and lack of street signs and proper Route signs, it took me an hour. I wasted time and gas, and I was pissed.

I’m thinking that a better sign needs to be put in place there. Instead of a sign that just says, “Suffolk County Center” and “Government Offices,” there needs to be a sign like you’d see at the airport. I could be a bigger sign that actually lists the individual buildings, with arrows pointing in the direction of said buildings so that they’re more easily recognizable to those of us who need to get there. I guess I could make a suggestion to the Town of Riverhead but I think I’d be ignored. At least the next time I go there I’ll know where I’m going and won’t have to deal with all the bullshit. What’s done it done and I can’t change it now. I’m really just venting about something, I’m sure, we all deal with all the time. Now I’ll forget about it and just get on with my life.

Until next time…peace to all.

No Sadness Here

My brain is fried today. I spent a good portion of the early afternoon on the phone trying to get the cheapest car insurance possible. I got nothing decent as far as quotes are concerned so I’m stuck paying a butt-load for car insurance here in NY; one of the reasons being because my ex fucked up my credit while we were married. It sucks but I learned a lesson from it and will never make the mistake of sharing finances with anyone again. All the disappointing phones calls, however, have toasted my brain for the day and made me a bit sad.

I thought I’d figured out how to handle the brain overload and sadness by sipping a cocktail, talking to Kara, and just relaxing. Then I found out about a method that I think might work for me next time; the method creator told me how it works. This is what happened, but I have to backtrack a little. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t. Ellen, I think you’ll like this; maybe you could try it next time you’re sad.

Earlier today I’d been outside with Dolly who wanted to dig for a little while. She found a mound of dirt where a tree had been removed and went to town. She dug up some dirt and put it in a plastic box which I said she could bring in the house as long as the dirt didn’t get spilled everywhere. She agreed and she did a great job keeping things neat. She played quietly while I made my phone calls to those nasty old insurance companies and fell into my funk.

After I resigned myself to the fact that I’m stuck with these outrageous costs, I went upstairs to try to become happy again. Dolly wanted to stay downstairs to play and watch TV. Cool. Ty and Kara’s older son returned from school and started homework. That’s when it happened; unbeknownst to me Dolly had created her own method to cure sadness and I was going to learn all about it. Ty came upstairs from getting a pencil in his room and unhappily announced that, “Collette poured dirt all over our bedroom floor and all in Zach’s bed.” I was not prepared for what I was about to see.

I came downstairs to find a circle of dirt on the boys’ bedroom carpet, and a larger circle of dirt in Zach’s bed. I was ready to explode. Ty asked Kara for a vacuum cleaner for me to clean up the mess. Dolly was told to pick up her toys and go in my room to wait for me. I vacuumed up the dirt from the floor and the bed, then called her over to talk with me. When I asked her why she poured the dirt all over she quietly said, “You’ll get mad at me.” I asked her to tell me so she said, “I did it to Ty’s bed, too.” Ty’s bed is the top bunk. Imagine the fun I had cleaning up all the dirt up there.

Wait, it gets better. As I went to plug out the vacuum for the second time something caught my vision out of the corner of my eye. She’d poured it all over the top of one of their toy boxes, too. I made her tell me where else she’d poured dirt to which she replied, “That’s it, I didn’t do any more.” That’s it? That was more than enough: the floor, two beds and a toy box. So the mess was cleaned and she and I had a chat. I asked her why she poured the dirt all over her brothers’ stuff and she said, “Because I was sad and I wanted you.” She was sad and she wanted me downstairs with her. Did you get that?

So I repeated to her what she’d said then I asked, “And you thought pouring the dirt would make you happy and get me downstairs with you?” “Yes.” She was half right; I did go downstairs with her, but she wasn’t happy, not until a little while later, anyway. When recounting what she’d done, she was as chipper as Jiminy Cricket. I guess the dirt pouring method worked for her. I found a different method to lift my mood.

I went outside by myself and sat in my car for a while to get some peace and quiet. While I was there I started thinking funny thoughts: conversations I’d had with Joe about the lady with the happy couch ass, and my flippers; conversations I’d had with Ellen about Yummy Boy; and conversations I’d had with Kara over how to spell “ptooiey”, as well as other funny thoughts that were popping into my head. Before I left the car I was laughing until I was crying. Then I thought about Dolly’s method to lift sadness and I laughed even harder. She’d told me that the idea “just came into my head and I did it.” She was happy; maybe she’s onto something.

Maybe I should try that occasionally; let an idea just pop into my head and then run with it. Perhaps we should all try it once in a while. This method could work in all aspects of our lives. Sick of your job and want to quit, do it. Feel like buying that sweater you just saw at the mall, go for it. I mean, seriously, what would be wrong with that? As long as what we want to do isn’t illegal, it’s worth a try, right? If I’m in a bad mood and I feel like squeezing a loaf of bread just for the heck of it, I don’t see any harm in that. If I’m in a good mood and feel like wearing my clothing backwards for the day, who is it hurting? Get my drift? Maybe if we adults were as spontaneous as children our lives would be better. Maybe if we adults acted like children once in a while we’d be in better moods more often. Who knows; the next time I’m in a cranky mood I just might come to your house and pour dirt in your bed. It might make me feel better, and if you’re a good sport, it might make you feel better too. If not, I’ll make sure I’m wearing my sneakers so I can run away really quickly. You’ll be laughing about it later. I definitely know I will.

Until next time…peace to all.

Thrift Shops: Not So Thrifty

I’m trying to get things set up here for the kids and me. Today I decided to try to get a lamp for the boys’ room. Remember, I sold almost everything I had before we moved to MD and we didn’t get any furniture other than the boys’ bunk beds while we lived there. The area where their beds are now is pretty dark so Kara and I went to the thrift shop.

The thrift shop was pretty nice; big, lots of items, clean, well-organized…better than many others I’ve seen. So we start browsing and I see the aisles and aisles of women’s clothing. I definitely could use some jeans. The ones I’ve got are old and dingy so I started looking through the jeans selections to see if there might be anything I like. Mind you, I’m not one to complain…Who am I kidding? Yes, I do complain, especially when someone tries to take advantage of me.

I was looking through the jeans and was inspecting the prices tags: $12.99, $14.99, $10.99…Are they serious? Do people actually pay those prices for someone else’s hand-me-downs? I can get brand new jeans for myself at Walmart for those prices; sometimes for less if they’re on sale. I did find a couple of jeans that fit me that were only $6.99 each; so I got two jeans – pretty nice once, at that – for just over $15.00. That was fine, I could handle it. If I’d had to pay more than that I’d have come home without the jeans. I tried to buy Ty some jeans in a thrift shop back in Missouri once and they wanted anywhere between $8 and $10 for used jeans, some of them not even in great shape. I left and went to Walmart instead.

Anyway, before I paid for the jeans, Kara and I went to check out what lamps were available. They had a nice selection but the ones that were large enough to put out enough light in the boys’ room were $10.00. I know, that’s not a lot of money but they also didn’t come with shades; the shades were extra, of course. So we’re talking somewhere around $14.00 for a lamp, that used to be sitting in someone else’s living room. I can get a brand new one for that price at Walmart, K-mart, or Target.

What gives with thrift shops over charging the public for items that are used? It’s not like the merchandise is purchased from a company and shipped to the stores; it’s stuff that people donated. It’s not even consignment stuff, for pity’s sake. Does that mean that thrift shop owners are getting rich off of us? I mean, once they pay their overhead expenses – rent, utilities, and employee salaries - what’s left has to be profit right? They’re certainly not paying for the merchandise; and they’re ripping us off in the process.

I visit thrift shops because I don’t always have the money to pay full price for what I need. Now, however, I have a choice to make. Buy from a thrift shop or pay $2.00 more and get the same item brand new somewhere else? I guess that extra $2.00 I’m paying buys me a warrantee too. I can’t get a warrantee at the thrift shops; it’s, pretty much, “as is” merchandise. Walmart will let me return something if there is a problem. I guess that’s the better way to go; for the lamp, anyway. Other things I’ll still buy at thrift shops but only if it’s less costly than any other store.

I know, it sounds to you like I’m really cheap. I’m not cheap, I’m frugal. I’ve learned to live within a very strict budget and I intend to keep it that way. I just wish the stores would work with me; specifically the thrift stores. That is why they were started, right; to help those of us with no money? It seems like the owners are just in it for the money these days. “Screw the poor people; I need money.” That’s a nice philosophy. Maybe I’ll open my own thrift shop. Care to donate any items I can mark up really high and sell to people without any money? I didn’t think so. Oh well, it is what it is and I can’t change it. I’ll just do the best I can with what I’ve got and I’ll get the boys a lamp from a “real” store. Next time I need four books for $3.00 I’ll hit the thrift shop; until then I’ll just continue bargain hunting wherever I can for what I need. I’m good at that.

Until next time…peace to all.

Bucket Filling - My Cup Runneth Over

This is a topic I’ve probably mentioned before but I can’t help repeating it, especially after the other day. Friday morning Zach’s school had an assembly that parents were permitted to attend. The assembly was about a concept in the school called “Bucket Filling.” According to the concept, our hearts are like buckets and they get filled by people saying and doing nice things to and for us. When someone says something negative to us or does something bad to us, our buckets become empty again. Anyway, Kara and I went to the assembly since her youngest son, Little Boy (LB), goes to the same school. We were sitting on the bleachers as the classes all filed in to the gymnasium and sat in lines in front of their teachers.

I always love seeing my kids as part of their classes whether just sitting in the classroom reading a story or being part of a school production. This assembly was just an educational piece for the kids but it was still nice seeing Zach sitting with his class listening and cheering along with the other three hundred children. As one teacher discussed the “Bucket Filling” concept with the audience, he mentioned that King Bucket Filler would be arriving soon. Seconds later the principal came walking into the gym wearing a giant foil-covered bucket and a foil crown – King Bucket Filler.

Watching all the kids cheering and laughing at him just swelled my heart to the point that I teared up sitting right there. Kara started to say something to me and noticed the tears in my eyes. She asked if I was getting emotional and, when I said ‘yes’ she laughed and said she was also. The two of us sat there laughing at ourselves; laughing so hard that our tears actually fell but looked, to anyone watching us, like tears of laughter, not the tears of overly-sentimental mommies getting choked up by a man wearing a bucket and crown.

That always happens to me, though. It doesn’t matter what the event is when it comes to them at school. They haven’t really participated in any extracurricular activities so school is all I’ve dealt with so far. But I always get emotional, in a good way, when I see their little faces enjoying whatever the program may be that day. I take videos of their school performances (so far just Holiday concerts) and I put them on youtube.com. I can watch those videos over and over and I always get teary because the original emotions come flooding back while I watch them. Zach loves to watch me while I watch the videos. He thinks it’s cool that I get so happy that I cry.

I don’t know what it is; I’m just really emotional over simple things like that. I cry during movies, commercials, songs I hear on the radio…and things my kids do. I’m sure I’m not the only mother that does that; and I know it for a fact since I saw Kara like that only a day ago. Maybe we’re the only two mothers, but I doubt it. I believe Tracy said she’s like that too. Saturday there will be a Halloween parade through town here. The kids get to wear their costumes and there’s a party afterward. I’ll bet money that I’ll cry when I see them dressed in their costumes, marching along with everyone else. I may look like an idiot but I don’t care.

I just can’t help getting so excited for them, imagining their pride and joy in the situation, and feeling an overwhelming sense of pride in myself because of them. I know it might sound stupid but it’s just the way I am. I can only imagine how I’ll embarrass them when they’re older. I’ll be sitting in the audience during a junior high or high school event crying like a baby as they stand on stage doing something for which they’ve been selected. They’ll probably ask me not to come to any more school functions within the next couple of years simply because they don’t want people to know we’re related. “Mom, please stay home. You cry so much over stuff that we don’t want anyone to know you’re our mom.” Mom’s cry over happy stuff, some of us cry a little too much, but that’s just the way it is. At least it tells the kids we’re pleased with them; I’m sure they’ll understand when they have kids of their own even if they don’t understand it now. Maybe by the time they reach college I’ll be out of tears. I doubt it, though; they’ll always be my babies, I’ll always be proud of them, and I’ll always cry at joyful events. My kids and their happiness are the things that fill my bucket.

Until next time…peace to all.

School's In For Winter

I’m going to get back to the topic I had in mind for last night, and I can tell you why I had to make an appointment to register the boys for school. The registrar chick wanted the school liaison there to see if there was any way to get the boys enrolled quickly, without having to wait for their old school records to arrive here in NY. Since the liaison wasn’t available until yesterday morning I had to wait. That makes sense; and, without going into any detail, certain circumstances exist for me that allowed the school to get the boys into school right away, without waiting for the records.

Zach had gone with me while Dolly and Ty stayed here with Kara. Immediately after I finished filling out all the paperwork at the High School (that’s where the registration office is) Zach and I went directly to the very next parking lot, to his school. There we met his teacher and took a tour of the school. I think I mentioned previously that he and Ty are in two different schools. So we did what we had to do for Zach and he was ready to start school today.

He and I drove home, had some lunch, and then Ty and I drove to his school. His is less than five minutes from Zach’s, and neither school is more than seven minutes from the house. So Ty and I got to his school and met with the Principal. Ty didn’t get to meet his teacher because the entire third grade, all 11 classrooms of third graders, were on a field trip. We did get to take a tour of the building, though, and he liked his classroom. His teacher is a huge “Star Wars” fan and has all kinds of items around the classroom.

I do believe I mentioned that the school Ty’s attending is the same one I attended when I was in the fifth grade. I must say that, even though I remember my teachers’ names and what they looked like; and even though I remember every kid that was in my class, I can’t, for the life of me, remember anything about the school except for the front of the building. How sad is that? I can remember little bits and pieces about where my classroom was and how it looked on the inside; I even remember that there was a girls’ bathroom right outside the classroom, but that’s it. The gym, the cafeteria, the art rooms; nothing sparks a memory at all. Maybe if I volunteer at the school it’ll spark some memories just by me being there.

Anyway, the boys saw their schools yesterday and started today. At 8:15 this morning Ty headed out to the bus with one of Kara’s sons; and at 9:00 Zach headed out to the bus with the other of Kara’s sons. I don’t know who was more excited, my boys or me. They both looked a bit nervous as they headed out the door, especially Zach; but they both arrived home, an hour apart, with big grins on their adorable, little faces and talking a mile a minute about what a great day they had. I was really happy for them; it was nice to see them so happy and excited about school.

I was excited too because I got a lot done without them home today. Dolly and I went to the nearest Head Start and applied her for it. Due to the aforementioned circumstances, and still without any details, she’ll be able to get a spot sooner rather than later. I can’t wait. We toured here school too but she wasn’t really all that excited about having to go to school. She almost looked like she was going to cry and all we were doing was looking around. I’m sure that, when she gets her spot in a classroom, she’ll be wary and clingy for the first couple of days but she’ll do fine after that. Then I’ll be able to move forward with my plans and possibly get some paying work, or, at the very least, some volunteer time to gain experience in the legal field. Let’s just keep our fingers crossed that Dolly gets into school really quickly, for the sake of all of us. It’s time that everything falls into place for us; and your good wishes and my hard work will make it happen – no doubts here.

Until next time…peace to all.

Think Before You Speak

I had something all ready to discuss tonight but there’s been a change in plans. Before I opened my blog page tonight I perused Facebook first, as I usually do every night. I saw a FB post from my friend Tracy saying she was going to close her blog and her Facebook page tomorrow all because someone she considered a friend read her blog the other night, misinterpreted it, and spread false information about it to Tracy’s sister. The information that was given to Tracy’s sister upset her, in turn hurting Tracy in the process.

What gives, people? Why would anyone feel the need to spread rumors based on what they’ve read in someone’s blog? Why not check with the author first to see what the exact message is if you don’t understand it? Tracy’s blog was titled “The Vague Post” and talked about people on Facebook who put cryptic messages in their status. The messages don’t say anything specific about anyone or anything and cause the readers to wonder what the meaning is behind the message. For example, I’ve seen posts that read something like, “That’s the last straw; I won’t be doing that anymore.” Many people write status updates like that – many, many, many people. I’ve done it myself a time or two.

When Tracy wrote her blog she didn’t have anyone specific in mind; she was simply talking about anyone who posts so vaguely that the reader doesn’t understand what’s happening in the life of the writer. She could have been talking about me since I’d posted something similar just a night or two before her blog post. There is absolutely no indication in her blog that she aimed it at anyone specific – it was completely ambiguous in nature. Not that it was confusing; it was simply a vague statement talking about something a lot of Facebook users do and how those types of posts can be annoying.

Tracy’s so-called friend decided that the blog post was about Tracy’s sister and told the sister about it causing friction within the family. What the fuck? Who made that chick Lord and Master over what Tracy writes and what it actually means? Perhaps if she would have asked Tracy about it, Tracy could have cleared up any misunderstanding. I’m also betting that the rumor-monger has written a vague post or two at some point in time. What made her think the blog post wasn’t about her?

What’s really bugging me is that the rumor-monger’s stupidity upset my friend and caused her to rethink what she should and shouldn’t do. That’s not fair people. Tracy has the right to blog about anything she feels, as long as it's not illegal, and nobody has the right to make her think she can’t write anymore. When I write, depending on the topic for the night, I tell the truth. If it upsets you, that’s your problem. You can take things as you want but you will not, in any way, cause me to stop blogging because my words may have hurt your feelings. Tracy shouldn’t have to stop writing either because some simpleton decided to take matters into her own hands and cause trouble for no reason.

If you don’t like what we’re writing, then don’t read it. If you feel the need to spread rumors based on what you think you've read, you WILL be exposed for the idiot you are. Once the truth comes out you’ll be the one people will be questioning and you may lose friends in the process. Try to backpedal all you want but I’m willing to bet it won’t do you any good. Keep it up and see how lonely you become in a really short period of time.

Tracy, you’re a wonderful person who did nothing wrong. Just because that moron decided to do what she did is no reason for you to stop blogging or posting on Facebook. Simply remove her from your Friends list and go on with your life. If she wants to keep reading your blog and spreading bullshit, let her. You have never, that I can recall, written anything about anyone that would label or name them in a negative situation. You go girl and know that people like me know the truth about what you write and what it means. Remember: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind” – Dr. Seuss. :-)

School Administrators Not Smarter Than Fifth Graders

The United States Constitution does not specify a right to an education, but I think it should. When I enrolled the boys in school in Maryland the secretary was astounded that I’d hand carried the boys’ school records from Missouri. “I’ve never heard of that in my life. We’d never be allowed to let a parent hand carry school records.” I’m confused. You can’t give me what’s rightfully mine? I’m betting the person who made up that rule never moved kids from one school to the other. Why do I say that? I’ll tell you why.

Yesterday, I called the school district over here in Rocky Point to find out what I need to do to enroll the boys in 2nd and 3rd grades. What I found out is that, aside from the usual records and things, I need an appointment to enroll my kids in school. Yep, you heard me – an appointment. That’s another stupid rule. I know you didn’t ask me, but I’m telling you my thoughts anyway. It’s not a private school where I have to have a background check and an interview; it’s your basic ordinary elementary school. Why in the world do I need to make an appointment to get my kids an education? C’mon on folks; what gives?

So I made an appointment at the earliest convenience of the registrar, or whatever the chick is called in elementary school. Wednesday morning is the soonest she can see me. Is she enrolling so many kids these days that I actually had to wait two days before getting this appointment? I’m betting not. She probably just scheduled me for when she wouldn’t be on the phone with her Granny during work hours. Whatever. She also told me that, provided everything goes well with the registration process, the boys can start as soon as their records are transferred here. To get things started, I called the school back in Maryland to see if they would fax the boys’ records over to the Rocky Point school. You would have thought, from her reaction, that I’d asked the secretary to drive the records here herself.

“OH NO!! WE DON’T DO THAT! We mail records out only when we get a request from the school.” My kids are already missing days from school because I have to wait for an appointment to enroll them. I repeated my request to have the records faxed. “NO, and we won’t fax them anyway; we mail them.” Gee, my kids only went to the school for a month-and-a-half; I’m guessing the records aren’t that extensive. “Well then, maybe we can fax them; but not until we get a request from the school first. We won’t do it until then.” Fine, I’ll have the school call you and request them so they can have them by Wednesday.

I called back the woman at the Rocky Point district. Would she please call the Maryland school and request the records so she can have them when I get there on Wednesday? “Oh, I was going to do that on Wednesday because I need you to sign a release first.” HUH?! If the Maryland school doesn’t need a release to send the records, why does the Rocky Point school need one to request the records? What the fuck? Who makes these rules? My kids are missing out on their education because of the stupid, bullshit rules and policies that vary between individual States and their school districts. If the Constitution had a clause in it that guaranteed the right to an education, there would be no way this process would be so complicated.

Because the school here needs the records before the boys can start, and because the Maryland school secretary said she usually mails the records, there could actually be a delay before my kids get to go to school. I think they should just fax whatever is mandatory to get the boys started, then mail the rest of it so it gets here a few days later. I’m sure you agree. What I really question is, what happens if records get lost in the mail? Are children made to wait for extended periods of time because the USPS is transferring their records around the World? How long does the receiving school wait before re-contacting the sending school to mention the missing records? Do the parents have any recourse in cases like that?

I’m thinking I need to do some research on this topic. I find the whole administrative process to be completely ass-backwards. Delay the appointment to register the kids, then have the records sent via snail mail so the delay is even longer. Make the kids miss out on their school time, which, by the way, is required by State law. In a case like this, where I’m the one being made to wait, isn’t the school district actually breaking the law? I’m trying to get my kids in school, and the district, both of them, actually, is keeping them out of school. I think I’ll mention this to the registrar tomorrow morning when I see her. I’d like to get a little clarity on what’s what as far as the school registration policy is concerned. If it’s really as screwed up as it looks like, I may have to warn any potential Long Islanders to enroll their kids in schools here before they’ve left the State where they currently live. Fingers crossed, though, that things go well tomorrow and that the boys can start school on Thursday. I’ll let you know.

Until next time…peace to all.

I'm Bored Tonight

“Dan” from a previous post suggested I write, tonight, about being too bored to think. I’m never too bored to think, but I can be too bored to think of anything that makes sense. My thoughts are all screwy when I’m bored. Like right now all that keeps running through my head is “my dog ate my homework” and I don’t know why it’s in my head. Not only do I not have any homework, but I don’t even have a dog. My cats definitely wouldn’t eat my homework if I had any.

It’s too late to do any more unpacking, so I thought I’d watch something on TV but I’m so bored I can’t decide what to watch. There really isn’t anything very interesting on right now anyway. “The Nanny” is currently on the TV sitting in front of me. I could go on Netflix and pick a movie but I can’t decide on that either. If I put on something I’ve never seen I’ll fall asleep in the middle of it and probably won’t be able to finish watching it for a while. All the movies I’ve seen will only bore me more than I already am. Maybe I’ll be able to make up my mind when I’m finished with this.

When I’m bored I have no energy to do anything. This is the most exciting thing I’ve got to do right now. Imagine that. Not that I find blogging a chore, because I don’t, I really like it. I just wish I had a better topic for tonight. I seriously couldn’t think of anything. I could’ve written about not being able to enroll the kids in school until Wednesday because I have to make an appointment first (I don’t know why, please don’t ask.); or about what a PITA the boys’ bunk beds were to put together today; or the fact that Kara cut my hair for me this morning (she did a really good job for someone who’s never cut hair before) and how great it looks. Guess what. I’m too bored to get into any detail of any of those things so you’ll have to live with what little I’ve said. Sorry; maybe another time.

My head itches, I need to pee, and it really bugs me when the person in front of me in the left-turn lane at a green light won’t pull far enough out for both of us to go through before the light turns red again. I dealt with a lot of that in Missouri. When the light turns green drive to the middle of the intersection so the person or people behind you can pull forward, too. Then, as soon as you get the chance, turn. Even if the light turns yellow, we can all still make the turn without getting stuck at the red – again.

I need to get some sleep but every time I lie down I think about all the things I have to do in the next few days and it keeps me awake. That’s why I can’t watch a new movie. Makes sense, right? Problem is I have so much to do that I don’t know what to do first. It’s hard to do anything with the kids here, though, because they keep interrupting me. I know, that’s what kids are supposed to do, but the interruptions are constant – one after another. It’ll all get done, though.

I just realized that my left foot is asleep and my butt hurts from sitting on a wooden chair. Why didn’t I notice it earlier? Because I’m bored and was just watching, or staring at, the aforementioned “The Nanny” on Nick at Nite. I guess it caught my attention; either that or I totally spaced out and forgot what I was doing. I can’t tell you what the show is about so I’m going to go with the latter. So I’m back now but am going to stop. The sciatic nerve in the left side of my butt is pinching. I’m bored, but not bored enough to not notice my ass hurting. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have something more interesting to talk about; maybe, maybe not. Tune in to find out. At least I'm going to bed happy.

Until next time…peace to all.

Tired But Happy

Today was a very productive day. Joe couldn’t come over because he’s sick, or so he says. He claims to have a fever of 102° but I’m not so sure. I wouldn’t put it past him to get out of helping unpack by feigning illness. I can just hear he ugly names he’ll call me when I actually say that to him. It’ll be fun to see what new ones he can come up with on a second’s notice. He knows I love him and I do hope he feels better.

In any case, we got a lot done. My bed is in place, almost. The box spring just refuses to come down here so my mattress is on the floor. I don’t mind, it’s just hard for an old chick like me to get up from that close to the ground. I’m not sure what we’ll try next, but I do know that I will come up with something to get my mattress on the box spring. For now, though, it’s fine. As long as I have a soft place to sleep, I’m good to go.

The kids’ bedroom furniture is all in place except for the boys’ bunk beds. I couldn’t, for the life of me, remember where I put the hardware to put them back together again. I kept going over and over, in my mind, all the containers I had in my room back at Ellen’s where I might have put the bag with the nuts and bolts. The beds are down here, as are the mattresses. I really wanted to have them together before the kids got home tonight. I didn’t because of the missing hardware. Then, suddenly, I was sitting outside mentally going through all the boxes and bins that I’d had there when I realized I forgot about the laundry basket that I just through all the toiletries in before we came here. I looked and there was the baggie. Whew!! Now I can get their beds put together tomorrow for them.

After that it’s just a matter of taking things out of boxes. I’m not going to completely unpack all of my possessions, mind you; this is not a permanent situation. I’m hoping that, within a couple of months, I’ll be able to get my own place. Whether I’m earning my own income, or whether I’m still on assistance, I want to be stable again and in my own private residence. Not that I don’t like it here; it’s extremely pleasant. I’ve known Kara for 23 years and we’re very much alike. I just prefer being on my own and not having to depend on my friends for anything. Sometimes that just doesn’t happen, though.

The kids are cool with things so far. They’re enjoying the company of Kara’s two kids, and they all had a blast today. Dinner was noisy but enjoyable. We all took turns telling knock-knock jokes, some of them made up by the kids, but still funny. Tomorrow her kids will be in school, and I’ll be enrolling mine so they’ll be home with me. Barring any problems with paperwork, they’ll be in school on Tuesday. Ty and Zach are excited about it and can’t wait to take the bus with Kara’s kids. They’ll be going to two different schools, but, at least, they’ll have someone to ride with. I’m sure they’ll be fine. I’ll look for a local Head Start to see if I can get Dolly in. I hope so because she really likes it.

Otherwise, things are just rolling along for us. Dinner menus are planned for this week and next, and a to-do list is ready and waiting in the wings. I’ll be busy, busy, busy, but happy, happy, happy to be doing something other than sitting around doing nothing like I was doing in Independence. Ah, the joy of having steady things to do. The only thing better than that is actually getting paid for doing the “steady things” on the list. Maybe in a couple of weeks.

Until next time…peace to all.

I'm Back... :)

This is the first time I've really had to sit down at the computer and actually write anything. I've been so busy trying to get the basement set up for the kids and me that I haven't even had time to stop and think. Yesterday Joe came over to help me unload the truck just so I could get it returned. Just about everything I own is in Kara's garage. At least the huge yellow truck is gone from her driveway, though. Little by little I'm bringing things downstairs and Joe is supposed to come back tomorrow, with a friend, to help me get the furniture downstairs so I can get everything in place before the kids get back from Paul's tomorrow evening. That'll be hard work but I'll get it done.

This morning I went to Steve's house, about a half hour away, to pick up the cats. You remember, he's been boarding them for me. We visited for a while but since I've kept up with everyone since I left Long Island the first time we were just bullshitting like we'd never missed a beat. The cats were a little standoffish for the first five minutes but warmed up to me very quickly. I had Steve take pictures of me with the cats and send it to Paul's phone so he could show Dolly. I'm sure she was thrilled. The cats are now back with me and happy as can be. Bobber, my female cat, follows me around like she's a puppy. They're too cute.

When Kara and I went food shopping that was an adventure in itself. We spent much of the time laughing hysterically as we compared prices and tried to figure out what a "whole fowl" was in the meat department. She wanted to get a roasting chicken and one package was labeled as above. I told her that I always thought chicken, turkey, pheasant, etc. were all considered fowl. Since I didn't know what was in the package it could be nuclear pigeon for all we knew and I wasn't going to eat that. Since we are both very loud talkers most of the store could hear us laughing and joking and acting a-fool. Finally one lady told us that "fowl" is like an older, tougher chicken and is good for soups and stews. We decided to buy the Perdue Roaster instead. When we're feeding three adults and five children, nuclear pigeon would not be a good food to put on the table.

By the time we got home it was almost dinner time so we really didn't get too much done after that. Tomorrow I'll spend some time cleaning and whatnot while she and her kids are at church. When they get back it'll be all-out unpacking mode for everyone. Enough unpacking, at least, to get the boys' beds assembled and all of their belongings put in place for their return. I'm sure they'll like their space and Kara's two dogs as well. Her boys are very excited to have new live-in playmates coming. We can only speculate, so far, as to the noise level that will be in the house. Her boys are exactly like mine so we've come to the conclusion that we'll have to make a schedule and give each kid a turn to talk at the dinner table. We all know how that will turn out, don't we?

Monday I'll enroll all of my kids in school and they'll start Tuesday. Then Kara and I will have time to get some things done that she needs to do and I can get some more unpacking done. Eventually I'll be settled and things will be running smoothly before I know it. I can't wait for that. It'll be nice, though, and in a couple of days, when we've got a schedule going, I'll speak to her dad about possibly working part time or even volunteering for him to gain some experience in the paralegal field. Fingers crossed on that. I need it just to get my foot in the door, and hopefully it'll lead to more permanent work. I'd love for it to work out so that I can get a steady income and finally get out of "the system" once and for all. I'll let you know how that turns out, but for now I'm heading off to bed to get some well-needed rest.

Until next time...peace to all.

On the Road, Again

It’s that time again. We’re moving tomorrow back to Long Island. I’ve been busy all day getting things together so I can make the work I have to do tomorrow as easy as possible. There wasn’t really much to pack other than what the kids and I had in our rooms. The rest of our stuff is still in boxes out in Ellen’s garage or at my storage unit a couple of miles away. The biggest issue was getting the boys’ room cleaned and getting their bunk bed apart. That was hard because they’re so heavy. I got it done, though, and the boys are sleeping on the mattresses on the floor tonight.

After dinner I loaded up as much stuff as I can in my van and the rest will all go in the moving truck. I’m picking that up around 9:30 in the morning and will bring it back here to get everything out of the house and garage first. It’s the easiest since it’s the there isn’t all that much. After all of that is loaded up I’ll head over to storage to begin loading up everything in there. I only paid for half the month the other day because the manager there told me they don’t refund partial months. That doesn’t make any sense to me but it’s their business so I just follow the rules. Anyway, I’ll have a hand truck so I should be able to get things done relatively easily. As Ellen said, loading up is harder than unloading. That’s for sure. I’ll just do my best with what I’ve got.

I’m not sure what time Paul is supposed to arrive in town; he never gives specifics so I’ve just stopped asking. He’ll end up having to meet me at the storage place to finish loading the truck, then he’ll have to take me back to the truck rental place to get my van. At that point we should be on the road and, with luck, we’ll be on Long Island by dinner time. He’s going to drive the van to where the kids and I will be living and then he’ll head home to spend the weekend with the kids. Joe has already said he’ll help me unload the truck on Friday morning; that way I’m not doing it alone. I should have everything in place before the kids get back on Sunday evening. That would be nice.

On Saturday I’ll drive to get my cats from my friend Steve. He’s been fostering them for me for a couple of weeks and Dolly is anxious to see them. Steve sent me a picture of one of the cats the other day and Dolly started to cry. I explained to her that we’ll have them back real soon and that, when I go to Steve’s to get them, I’ll have Steve take a picture of me with the cats and send it to Paul’s phone so she can see that I’ve got them. She was happy about that.

Anyway, I’ve got a lot of hard work ahead of me over the next couple of days that I’m not really looking forward to. I just hope this move helps me to get back on my feet once and for all. I’ll get the kids enrolled in school on Monday, provided the schools don’t give me a lot of shit over paperwork and other crap. After that I’ll have time to look for work. I may even offer my services free of charge for a short while until someone sees that I’m good at what I do. Most paralegal ads state that experience is needed and I don’t have any practical experience; I just know what I learned in school and from doing my own personal research. Someone will give me a chance; I just know it.

So, I’ll sign off for now and I’ll try to be back tomorrow night, or Friday at the latest. It all depends on how quickly things get loaded and unloaded; and how easy it is for me to get my computer set up again. Wish me luck and I’ll fill you in on the details once I get settled in NY.

Until next time…peace to all.

Fashion is as Fashion Was

I have no idea what made me think of tonight’s topic; it just popped into my head. The other day Ellen and I went to Kohl’s because she needed a few things. As we browsed the Women’s department we came across a pair of jeans, I think by Levi’s, and the tag said, “Virtual Stretch.” I shit you not. “Virtual Stretch” jeans. We both stopped and looked at each other as if to say, “Um, what?” Then Ellen said what I was thinking. “Virtual Stretch – I’ll just imagine myself being skinny in these jeans.” That was a great laugh, I gotta tell ya. Who comes up with the names for these items? C’mon.

And who decides the styles for women our age? We couldn’t figure that out. The Misses department had some really great looking shirts. I loved so many of them but, even though they were on sale, they were too expensive for me. I won’t pay $12 for a shirt at Kohl’s when I can get three shirts for the same price at Walmart. That’s just me; frugal to the end. Anyway, these tops and the jeans were really adorable. Then we meandered over to the Women’s department and the clothes were all dowdy and dumpy looking. Dark colors and awful patterns. What the fuck is up with that? Why do those of us in our 40s have to dress do glumly? Yuck!! With the exception of a few items, I wouldn’t put on anything they had in that store. It would make me feel old.

As it was they had some items on the shelves and racks that really made me feel old just by looking at them. There were actually button-down shirts with bell sleeves. I picked one up, held it in front of me, and started dancing and singing “Stayin’ Alive” in the store. I was totally taken back to the 70s with that shirt. Ellen had to tell me, since I haven’t been shopping for myself in a very long while, that those types of items are coming back. Now hold on here. That ugly shit is making a comeback? No way. Um, yes way. There were many items that I saw from that era.

What really made me laugh was that, while she was in the fitting room and I was browsing, I came across a sweater that caught my eye. It was still too expensive but worth picking up to take a better look at it. It was nicely folded on the table, had a really great color. As I lifted it and slowly unfolded it, I couldn’t help but laugh. It had a cowl neck on it. A cowl neck sweater! Holy crow. I wore cowl necks back in Junior High school. I realize that fashion skips a generation but this is ridiculous. It’s not my fault that I was alive during the first run of this stuff. Nobody should have to wear the same fashion items they wore back in their teens. I wore bell bottoms and cowl necks 30+ years ago and now I’m going to be stuck wearing them again. What gives?

To make matters worse, there was also a rack with long sweater dresses on it. The same sweater dresses that I used to pair with leggings when I was in High School. Ellen said those are coming back too. Now I’m really confused. I’ve got fashion styles coming back from three different periods in my life and I don’t know what to do. If and when I ever do go shopping for myself again I’ll have one seriously eclectic wardrobe. As long as the patterns and colors of these new old items are appealing, I guess I won’t really mind. Maybe I can even come up with fashions of my own that encompass all four. I’ll make a cowl neck sweater dress and pair it with denim, bell bottom leggings. That should cover everything all in one fell swoop. Then I won’t have to make too many decisions when I’m getting dressed in the morning. I’ll just be stuck deciding what shoes to wear. Oh no…maybe some Keds platform clogs?

Until next time…peace to all.

I Wish...

I wish I had money. I don’t want to be filthy rich; I’m not asking for “Brewster’s Millions.” I just want enough money to be comfortable. I want to be able to get my own house and to be able to buy my kids what they need when they need it without having to tell them “it’ll have to wait a while.” I want to be able to put gas in the van at more than $5 and $10 at a time. Morrison deserves it and he shouldn’t have to be choking on fumes constantly. I want to be able to buy a gift for a friend or take the kids out to dinner – just because. I want to be able to send my kids to college and to give them a better life than I had as a kid. I know money doesn’t buy happiness but in my case it’ll buy a smile or two. I wish I could smile more often.

I wish I had family that was worth my time and effort. My sister lives in Georgia and wants me to move there. As much as I love her, we get along better the farther apart we are. I can’t live near her. The family I left in Missouri and Kansas are my aunts – my mother’s only remaining sister and sister-in-law – and their kids, and their kids’ kids. I get along great with my aunts but I never really knew my cousins since my mother raised my sister and me in NY. We have nothing in common so it was no great loss to leave them behind. I’ve got a step-brother out in Washington State; he’s got a wife and two kids. We communicate via Facebook. And I’ve got a pseudo-brother (my sister’s half brother), his wife, and their two daughters. They live in NC and we don’t really talk either, except via Facebook. That’s all I’ve got for family and none of them really strike a meaningful chord in my heart. I can take them or leave them. I wish that wasn’t the case.

I wish I didn’t have to worry all the time about my ex being such a shit to the kids and me. I have learned how to take back the control he tries to retain over me but the kids are still young and are too afraid of their dad to be able to stand up to him just yet. I’ve told them polite things they can say and how to say them but they just don’t feel they can do it. I feel bad for them but I can’t intervene all the time; they have to learn to do that for themselves. If my ex would stop using the kids to try to hurt me they’d be much happier on their visits with him. I wish I could help them more.

I wish more good things would happen for good people rather than for the people who don’t really deserve it. I see good people like me and my friends getting shit on constantly and it really isn’t fair. I know, I know, life isn’t fair. Fuck that! I do what I can to be a good person and to help others and myself but I keep getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop. So do other people I know. I’ve seen Social Services come in and take children from parents just because a vindictive ex-wife or ex-husband makes a false complaint to the State. I’ve seen friends get falsely arrested for the same reasons. I’ve seen people, like me, live within the system and try to get out but can’t because the system holds us back. My ex lives with his girlfriend in a very swanky neighborhood; they have two incomes in the household; he’s driving a new truck (maybe not brand new, but new to him); and they still have money to take my kids out and do things with them. I have no home of my own, no money, and no job. I can’t even get a fucking credit card to rebuild my credit without putting down a $200 deposit - because my ex completely fucked up my credit when we were together. Nobody will give me the chance to prove that I’m reliable so I’m the one getting screwed. I wish I had the power to make things right for all of us good people.

I wish I didn’t have to spend so much time wishing for things and worrying about not getting or having them. I wish I could sleep at night without tossing and turning and waking up constantly because of all my worrying. I wish I could wrap my kids in a cocoon that would be impervious to their dad’s bullying when they’re with him. I wish I had family I could depend on and who didn’t treat me like an outsider. I wish I had the perfect words to say to other good people when bad things happen, or when they go from bad to worse, to let them know that everything will be all right. I wish that undeserving people could feel what it’s like on the other side of the spectrum. I wish there were more good people in the world who would take a chance on people like me occasionally.

I know things will turn around for me and for others like me; I have faith in that. I know in my heart that we good people deserve all the best in the world and that we will have it. I know things happen for a reason and that there are lessons to be learned from every experience, good or bad. I know that one door closing leaves room for another to open. I know that positive attitudes beget positive results. I know I will have everything I want in life, for my kids and for me. I also know it will happen for my friends. I know all that. I just wish it would happen sooner rather than later.

Until next time…peace to all.

Cougars and Stuff

You know someone is a great friend when you can discuss anything and everything, regardless of what it is, and you feel like you’re discussing nothing more than what makes a great peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The conversation just flows easily and nothing said is ever taken as offensive or embarrassing. Ellen and I are like that; we can talk about whatever is going on, no matter how personal it is, and we can always make each other laugh, even through tears if one of us is upset over something.

Recently I met a new friend who actually is back in Independence. He and his wife are good friends of mine and we can talk like that. I didn’t meet my new friend before I moved; I actually “met” him through his wife via Facebook. I won’t use their names without their permission so I’ll just call them Roseanne and Dan – a reference to my favorite sitcom, in case you didn’t know. Anyway, I met Roseanne in the PACT group I attended on Thursday nights. Without going into any of their personal details I’ll just say that their small family has been split up due to circumstances beyond their control. Dan is, for a short while, not with Roseanne and their baby but that is soon to change.

Roseanne is a lovely girl who is open, honest, and wonderfully charismatic. She never failed to get my attention with something she said during the group. Then again, I, along with my friend M. in the group were the instigators who sort of forced, in a positive way, others to open up and participate. We were like the class clowns who did our best to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome through our antics. Because of us, Roseanne, I’m assuming, felt like she could share without fear of judgment or retribution. And that she did.

Dan never attended the group because of the aforementioned issues so I didn’t even know what he looked like until I became his Facebook friend. He’s quite a handsome guy, and Roseanne is just a doll. They look like the perfect couple. That was just a little sidebar I thought I’d add since I’ve already strayed from my basic issue for tonight. As if that wouldn’t happen. Anyway, as I was saying about conversations with friends, the three of us don’t talk much but our Facebook conversations are generally fun and lighthearted. Anything personal is kept under the wraps of inbox messages, but our walls are filled with funny and engaging posts back and forth. They never fail to make me smile, and, quite often, laugh out loud.

Dan often posts obscure passages or song lyrics that I have to Google so I can figure out what they mean. I was never good at poetry and don’t get it. Song lyrics are, of course, poetry, hence my trouble with them. He says he’s writing a book although I don’t know what kind but I’d love to read some of it someday. (Hint, hint) I’ve actually thought about writing myself but have never really thought about what or had the time to actually attempt it. My blog, for the time being, is all I write. Perhaps in the future I’ll do something bigger and better.

Anyway, I’ve gotten off topic again. One subject that Roseanne and I, and Dan and I, at separate times, have covered over the past two days is the younger man/older woman (Cougar) issue. A couple of days ago Dan said something that I jokingly told him made me feel old. Then I “ratted him out” by telling Roseanne what he’d said. She, of course, said I’m not old; then today she said something that led to the Cougar issue. When I mentioned that I’m old enough to be hers and Dan’s mother she said that age is only a number. Okay. Then, later this evening, something I said prompted Dan to say the same thing to me. I’d said that two hot guys on a TV show are too young for me to even fantasize about. He said that young men today are the elite to which I responded that he was correct but perhaps it was a topic for a different time and a more private venue. Fuck that. Let’s discuss it now. Everyone else does.

Society has always seen older men/younger women as a good thing. “Grandpa’s got himself a hottie – way to go.” However, the Cougar issue was always taboo. How dare an older woman be seen with a younger man! There was something wrong with it. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with it but I don’t see me getting into that. The way I see it, and you may disagree, is that nothing serious can really come of it. The couple can agree that they want the same things but a 20-year-old guy is bound to change his mind at some point in time.

I’ll use myself as an example. I’m 43 with three young kids. I meet a 20-something guy who’s totally into me and, after a few dates (which, by the way, I’ve never had) wants to get serious. Cool. However, I don’t think he’d be completely satisfied with the relationship. I’ve got things I want to do, a certain standard of living my life, and a lot of responsibility. Not that he doesn’t, but I didn’t even decide what I wanted to go to college for until I was 40 years old. I’m, pretty much, guessing that, at his young age, he hasn’t even decided which brand of toilet paper is his most preferred. (Mine’s Scott in case you were wondering. It costs less and lasts longer with four of us using it.)

So how long would a relationship like that last? There’s no telling. Maybe it would last for a while, but then he’d start realizing that he could have more if he were with someone younger. He’s not going to have his own kids with me, that’s for sure. I’m done with all that. He’s not going to be joining his finances with mine; I learned my lesson after my ex. Nor would his name be on the deed to my house (if I had one) because I’m not taking any chances with that either. He wants to go out clubbing; I’ve got the kids to take care of. He wants listen to hip-hop or heavy metal and I’m into music from the 70s and 80s (the “oldies” as I’ve mentioned before). Sure, we could have a conversation about things we have in common but I don’t think that would be a lot.

I just don’t see the Cougar-type of relationship being very sturdy. I, personally, would feel the need to take care of him like he was my kid. That’s not the kind of attitude a woman wants to take into an intimate relationship. Maybe a short fling would be okay, provided I could even get a younger dude to look my way. Shit, I don’t even have the opportunity to meet men my own age, or women my own age, for that matter. I’d be hard-pressed to find a young hottie who’d want more than a one-night stand, if that. I’m cool with that, though. And I support whatever type of relationship fits your style. I think I’ll just wait to see what happens for me. Maybe that’ll be something I can write about if and when I do decide to write a book. It could be interesting stuff. Maybe…maybe not.

Until next time…peace to all.

Cougars and Stuff

You know someone is a great friend when you can discuss anything and everything, regardless of what it is, and you feel like you’re discussing nothing more than what makes a great peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The conversation just flows easily and nothing said is ever taken as offensive or embarrassing. Ellen and I are like that we can talk about whatever is going on, no matter how personal it is, and we can always make each other laugh, even through tears if one of us is upset over something.

Recently I met a new friend who actually is back in Independence. He and his wife are good friends of mine and we can talk like that. I didn’t meet my new friend before I moved; I actually “met” him through his wife via Facebook. I won’t use their names without their permission so I’ll just call them Roseanne and Dan – a reference to my favorite sitcom, in case you didn’t know. Anyway, I met Roseanne in the PACT group I attended on Thursday nights. Without going into any of their personal details I’ll just say that their small family has been split up due to circumstances beyond their control. Dan is, for a short while, not with Roseanne and their baby but that is soon to change.

Roseanne is a lovely girl who is open, honest, and wonderfully charismatic. She never failed to get my attention with something she said during the group. Then again, I, along with my friend M. in the group were the instigators who sort of forced, in a positive way, others to open up and participate. We were like the class clowns who did our best to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome through our antics. Because of us, Roseanne, I’m assuming, felt like she could share without fear of judgment or retribution. And that she did.

Dan never attended the group because of the aforementioned issues so I didn’t even know what he looked like until I became his Facebook friend. He’s quite a handsome guy, and Roseanne is just a doll. They look like the perfect couple. That was just a little sidebar I thought I’d add since I’ve already strayed from my basic issue for tonight. As if that wouldn’t happen. Anyway, as I was saying about conversations with friends, the three of us don’t talk much but our Facebook conversations are generally fun and lighthearted. Anything personal is kept under the wraps of inbox messages, but our walls are filled with funny and engaging posts back and forth. They never fail to make me smile, and, quite often, laugh out loud.

Dan often posts obscure passages or song lyrics that I have to Google so I can figure out what they mean. I was never good at poetry and don’t get it. Song lyrics are, of course, poetry, hence my trouble with them. He says he’s writing a book although I don’t know what kind but I’d love to read some of it someday. (Hint, hint) I’ve actually thought about writing myself but have never really thought about what or had the time to actually attempt it. My blog, for the time being, is all I write. Perhaps in the future I’ll do something bigger and better.

Anyway, I’ve gotten off topic again. One subject that Roseanne and I, and Dan and I, at separate times, have covered over the past two days is the younger man/older woman (Cougar) issue. A couple of days ago Dan said something that I jokingly told him made me feel old. Then I “ratted him out” by telling Roseanne what he’d said. She, of course, said I’m not old; then today she said something that led to the Cougar issue. When I mentioned that I’m old enough to be hers and Dan’s mother she said that age is only a number. Okay. Then, later this evening, something I said prompted Dan to say the same thing to me. I’d said that two hot guys on a TV show are too young for me to even fantasize about. He said that young men today are the elite to which I responded that he was correct but perhaps it was a topic for a different time and a more private venue. Fuck that. Let’s discuss it now. Everyone else does.

Society has always seen older men/younger women as a good thing. “Grandpa’s got himself a hottie – way to go.” However, the Cougar issue was always taboo. How dare an older woman be seen with a younger man! There was something wrong with it. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with it but I don’t see me getting into that. The way I see it, and you may disagree, is that nothing serious can really come of it. The couple can agree that they want the same things but a 20-year-old guy is bound to change his mind at some point in time.

I’ll use myself as an example. I’m 43 with three young kids. I meet a 20-something guy who’s totally into me and, after a few dates (which, by the way, I’ve never had) wants to get serious. Cool. However, I don’t think he’d be completely satisfied with the relationship. I’ve got things I want to do, a certain standard of living my life, and a lot of responsibility. Not that he doesn’t, but I didn’t even decide what I wanted to go to college for until I was 40 years old. I’m, pretty much, guessing that, at his young age, he hasn’t even decided which brand of toilet paper is his most preferred. (Mine’s Scott in case you were wondering. It costs less and lasts longer with four of us using it.)

So how long would a relationship like that last? There’s no telling. Maybe it would last for a while, but then he’d start realizing that he could have more if he were with someone younger. He’s not going to have his own kids with me, that’s for sure. I’m done with all that. He’s not going to be joining his finances with mine; I learned my lesson after my ex. Nor would his name be on the deed to my house (if I had one) because I’m not taking any chances with that either. He wants to go out clubbing; I’ve got the kids to take care of. He wants listen to hip-hop or heavy metal and I’m into music from the 70s and 80s (the “oldies” as I’ve mentioned before). Sure, we could have a conversation about things we have in common but I don’t think that would be a lot.

I just don’t see the Cougar-type of relationship being very sturdy. I, personally, would feel the need to take care of him like he was my kid. That’s not the kind of attitude a woman wants to take into an intimate relationship. Maybe a short fling would be okay, provided I could even get a younger dude to look my way. Shit, I don’t even have the opportunity to meet men my own age, or women my own age, for that matter. I’d be hard-pressed to find a young hottie who’d want more than a one-night stand, if that. I’m cool with that, though. And I support whatever type of relationship fits your style. I think I’ll just wait to see what happens for me. Maybe that’ll be something I can write about if and when I do decide to write a book. It could be interesting stuff. Maybe…maybe not.

Until next time…peace to all.

Moving to Plan B

Sometimes things just don’t turn out the way you plan. When I moved to Maryland from Missouri I had intentions of making a big turn-around in my life. I was going to get a place for the kids and me; and Ellen and I were going to do what we could to offer our paralegal services, on a freelance basis, to the attorneys in the community. Unfortunately, things aren’t working out that way. Nobody in the State of Maryland has got any place for me to live. Not one waiting list for subsidized housing has my name anywhere near the top. That pretty much sucks.

I’m spending a ton of money on gas because I have to drive the kids to and from school on a daily basis. Six trips to and from three different schools is killing me. The boys can’t get a bus because we’re within the two-mile range and Dolly’s schools don’t offer buses to her – the Head Start because the funding isn’t there, and the Pre-K because she’s out of district. That sucks too.

I’ve tried applying for jobs everywhere I can think of but, because applications are done via the Internet these days, I can’t just walk into a place and apply or even get a call back for an interview. Not only that, but I’m not allowed to call the places about the status of my applications. “We receive so many applications a day that we can’t possibly get back to everyone. If we wish to schedule an interview with you, you will receive a call from the Human Resources Department. Otherwise we will keep you application on file for…” whatever the specified number of days/months is for that particular company.

I went online to send emails and resumes to local attorneys offering my services. I got numerous “Thank you but we’re not hiring at this time”s and one attorney, I think I mentioned this in another post, told me not to use the company email as it was specifically for potential clients. All right then. Even the online transcription companies aren’t hiring – after I spent umpteen hours transcribing their crappy tests and submitting them. What the fuck is up with a State-wide, or in the case of the transcription companies – Nationwide, hiring freeze? Maybe I should walk around collecting cans and bottles to make a living.

So I had to go to Plan B. Looking for housing and work outside the Maryland area. Just this morning a friend of mine from Long Island, K., contacted me and told me she’s got accommodations for the kids and me. K. lives out in Rocky Point, where I first lived when my mom moved my sister and me back to NY from Florida when I was ten. It’s about an hour from the kids’ dad, rather than the six hours he has to drive to get them now; and K.’s father and brother are both attorneys so she may be able to hook me up with work connections. Her dad I never really knew too well, but her brother I’ve known since he was three. Imagine that. When K. and I were discussing the schools I realized that Tyler will be going to the same school I attended for the fifth grade. I wonder if my old teachers are still there. They were young at the time so it’s quite possible. It’ll be fun to find out.

I also found out that, after 30 days, I can apply for benefits there and, not only will I still be able to receive Foodstamps and Medicaid, but I’ll also get a rental allowance to help me pay my rent. They don’t have a rental allowance here in Maryland. With the rental allowance I’ll be able to offer more than the $100 plus bartering than I’m offering now. I’ll be able to find a place of my own within a couple of months and, with luck and a lot of hard work, I’ll be able to get out of the system once and for all. So, as of October 15, 2010 I will officially be back on familiar turf, and a Long Islander once again.

I’m excited with the prospect of being able to get back on my feet, and of being in familiar territory; but I’m disappointed that things couldn’t come to fruition the way Ellen and I wanted. I also don’t like moving so far away from her. She’s a dear friend and I truly love her and all that she’s done for the kids and me. If it wasn’t for her I’d still be back in Missouri bitching about the shithead grown-ups and nasty kids that were my neighbors. I know, I’ve thought a time or two that moving from there was a mistake given how hard things have been for me here; but if I didn’t leave there, I wouldn’t have the opportunities that are opening up for me now. I guess things really do happen for a reason.

I will miss Ellen and Sonny but we’ll remain friends and I’ll still be able to take a road trip every now and again, when the kids are with their dad, to come back and visit. And perhaps, once I’m in my own place, they’ll come to visit us and I can show them the sights of Long Island or take a trip to The City.

My heartfelt thanks go out to these two wonderful friends who have sacrificed so much for my family, and I hope that someday I’ll have the means to repay such a huge favor. To Ellen and Sonny, I love you both dearly and can’t express how much your generosity means to me. Thank you for everything.

Until next time…peace to all.

Maybe Someday

I wonder if I could invent something stupid and make money from it. People do it all the time and I’m willing to bet they make crazy bank off of the stupid shit they invent. The dude who invented the pet rock so many moons ago is probably living in luxury right now just because he thought of putting a rock in a box. It’s a rock for Pete’s sake. I can get one just by walking down the street; I’m not paying for one.

Take a look around you, though. See how many mundane things you have in your house that are simple items that you could have invented yourself. I’ve got a square piece of rubber – that was a giveaway, not something I purchased – that is used to hope the lid of a jar. You know what I’m talking about. Those thin pieces of rubber, whether round or rectangular, with some company name on them, that you put over the top of a jar to get a better grip. What happened to just using a spoon to pry the edge of the jar open; or to just whacking the jar on the bottom once to release the air bubble? People actually pay for that little rubber thing. No offense to you if you do, I’m just making mention of it.

I also had (I gave it to my ex during one of his moves) a spaghetti measurer. It’s a palm-sized plastic oval with different sized circles cut into it. It almost looks like a small artist’s palette. The circles are labeled “2 Servings,” “4 Servings,” etc. You’re supposed to pull out a handful of dry spaghetti noodles and insert them into the circle of the number of servings you need to make sure you’ve got the right amount. Can the general public not measure spaghetti by eye that they need this little device? I’m betting the inventor doesn’t care as he counts his money in his spacious mansion.

I want to invent something easy like that but I can’t get any ideas. I had an idea for something once and it would’ve been great. Then I did the research and found that it already existed. I had no idea because I’d never seen one before. I’m not mentioning what it is because I still may come up with a modified version at some point. We’ll see. I’d have to take the time to really research it though, and I’m not into that right now.

I just keep thinking of that show “How’d You Get So Rich” with Joan Rivers. She interviews people all the time who invented something ridiculous but got filthy rich from it. I remember the one episode I watched had something to do with the guy who invented the Slanket. That’s the original version of the Snuggie – the blanket with arms that people now wear so they can stay warm while keeping their hands free. I think I’ll just put my bathrobe on backwards. At least it has a belt so it’ll stay secure when I get up and wander the halls during a commercial break.

I digress, though. The kid - and I say kid because the guy was in his early twenties, I believe – invented the Slanket and is now a millionaire (or was it billionaire?) and won’t ever have to work again if he doesn’t want to. I want that. I want to be able to just sit back and watch the cash roll in while I smile and watch Spongebob Squarepants with the kids. On the commercial, where they’ll be offering whatever it is I invented, I’ll move my pet rock off my lap, get up in my backwards bathrobe, run to the kitchen to measure out the correct amount of spaghetti for us, then use my rubber jar opener to get to the sauce, all the while hearing a faint cha-ching sound in the background. Ah, the joy of dreams. Maybe someday…

Until next time…peace to all.

Blasts From the Past

Amazing. Today I found three friends on Facebook that I haven’t seen in about 10 years. These area all friends that I had when I was with Steve; not friends of his that I made because of him, but friends we’d made together. I lost touch with them when Steve and I broke up because Paul didn’t like any of my friends. If I was going to be friends with anyone it had to be his friends. Granted, there are a couple of friends I stayed in touch with through our trials and tribulations but most got lost in the shuffle. I’m sorry about that, too. They were good friends and I missed them terribly.

I’ve found them now, though, and it lifts my spirits. D. is a wonderful woman who could make anyone laugh. She’s so sweet and just a pleasure to be around. T. is a great guy who never gets ruffled about anything. He just takes life in stride and goes with the flow. J. is a guy who liked me at the same time Steve did. We were great friends and even went out on a couple of dates, if you want to call them that. He’s actually the first guy to ever propose to me. He told me, when I was trying to decide whether or not Steve was right for me, that, if I chose him, we could get married and start a family right away. Obviously, that never happened. He never even kissed me, even though I asked him to. He said it wouldn’t be right if we weren’t a couple and he didn’t want that kiss to be any part of my decision over which guy to chose. Imagine that. That’s, actually, one regret I have in my life – never having gotten that kiss from J.

I guess things work out the way they do for a reason, though. Had I gone with J. instead of Steve, I wouldn’t have my three beautiful children; I wouldn’t have met all the people I did in Missouri; I wouldn’t have the wonderful friends I have now; and I wouldn’t have learned some really valuable life lessons along the way. Additionally, I wouldn’t have been in an abusive relationship, I wouldn’t have had to feel the wrath of my ex and suffered the physical, mental, and emotional injuries that I did; I wouldn’t have been in counseling for over four years (although, that may still have happened given the shit from the rest of my life); and I wouldn’t be afraid to move into a new relationship. Theoretically, though, had I been with J. I might still be married to him so that last point is really moot.

It’s really amazing when you think about it. One different choice, sitting in a car on a Saturday night (or Sunday morning, shall we say; it was around 2a.m. when J. and I were talking) and my life could be completely and totally different. At least, the last 20 years of it would have been. I met Steve and J. in March of 1990 and that talk took place somewhere around then. It’s memories like this that sometimes make me wish there was a true Fantasy Island where we could go to see what our lives would have been like had we made one decision over another. Then again, maybe that wouldn’t be such a good idea.

If I could see what my life would have been had I chosen J. over Steve, my life might have been much better than what it was. Okay, let’s not say better; let’s say different in a positive way. Had my life been more positive, when I finished the viewing of it, I might come to regret and resent what I have now which wouldn’t be fair to anyone. Granted, I could never regret or resent my children or my friends, however, there are some things that…nevermind, I can’t regret any of it. Without everything being the way it was in my life, I wouldn’t have what I have today, nor would I be where I am today. I wouldn’t be the same person at all. Yes, I’d still be me; I’d just be a different me with different memories, different thoughts, hopes, dreams – different life. This is all mind-boggling.

My thoughts right now are running in ten different directions all at the same time. I know, I have a fucked-up thought process but if you were inside my brain right at this very moment you’d be stunned at all the different thoughts flying past you right now. There are memories, some that I’d forgotten, past dreams, wishes, events and a flood of other things. It’s complete brain chaos. Holy shit. It’s actually pretty cool, I must say; and all because I reconnected with these three long-lost friends.

What makes the whole thing really weird is that I hadn’t thought about these friends in a long time. I’d tried to look them up, periodically, over the past couple of years but never located them. Suddenly, today, D.’s name popped into my head, I searched her on Facebook and there she was. It was the same with the other two, J. especially. I’d looked for him numerous times but never found him. Then today, there he was – plain as day. It was almost like I was being compelled to look for them for some reason. Utterly strange, and curious and bizarre. Life’s like that, though. I know it, and you know it. I just find events like this fascinating and wonder about the meanings behind them. Enough wondering for tonight, though; I’ll find out, soon enough, what the Universe’s reasoning was. I’ll let you know when I do. Maybe it’s something really interesting; maybe it’s just the next step in my life’s journey. We’ll see…

Until next time…peace to all.