School Administrators Not Smarter Than Fifth Graders

The United States Constitution does not specify a right to an education, but I think it should. When I enrolled the boys in school in Maryland the secretary was astounded that I’d hand carried the boys’ school records from Missouri. “I’ve never heard of that in my life. We’d never be allowed to let a parent hand carry school records.” I’m confused. You can’t give me what’s rightfully mine? I’m betting the person who made up that rule never moved kids from one school to the other. Why do I say that? I’ll tell you why.

Yesterday, I called the school district over here in Rocky Point to find out what I need to do to enroll the boys in 2nd and 3rd grades. What I found out is that, aside from the usual records and things, I need an appointment to enroll my kids in school. Yep, you heard me – an appointment. That’s another stupid rule. I know you didn’t ask me, but I’m telling you my thoughts anyway. It’s not a private school where I have to have a background check and an interview; it’s your basic ordinary elementary school. Why in the world do I need to make an appointment to get my kids an education? C’mon on folks; what gives?

So I made an appointment at the earliest convenience of the registrar, or whatever the chick is called in elementary school. Wednesday morning is the soonest she can see me. Is she enrolling so many kids these days that I actually had to wait two days before getting this appointment? I’m betting not. She probably just scheduled me for when she wouldn’t be on the phone with her Granny during work hours. Whatever. She also told me that, provided everything goes well with the registration process, the boys can start as soon as their records are transferred here. To get things started, I called the school back in Maryland to see if they would fax the boys’ records over to the Rocky Point school. You would have thought, from her reaction, that I’d asked the secretary to drive the records here herself.

“OH NO!! WE DON’T DO THAT! We mail records out only when we get a request from the school.” My kids are already missing days from school because I have to wait for an appointment to enroll them. I repeated my request to have the records faxed. “NO, and we won’t fax them anyway; we mail them.” Gee, my kids only went to the school for a month-and-a-half; I’m guessing the records aren’t that extensive. “Well then, maybe we can fax them; but not until we get a request from the school first. We won’t do it until then.” Fine, I’ll have the school call you and request them so they can have them by Wednesday.

I called back the woman at the Rocky Point district. Would she please call the Maryland school and request the records so she can have them when I get there on Wednesday? “Oh, I was going to do that on Wednesday because I need you to sign a release first.” HUH?! If the Maryland school doesn’t need a release to send the records, why does the Rocky Point school need one to request the records? What the fuck? Who makes these rules? My kids are missing out on their education because of the stupid, bullshit rules and policies that vary between individual States and their school districts. If the Constitution had a clause in it that guaranteed the right to an education, there would be no way this process would be so complicated.

Because the school here needs the records before the boys can start, and because the Maryland school secretary said she usually mails the records, there could actually be a delay before my kids get to go to school. I think they should just fax whatever is mandatory to get the boys started, then mail the rest of it so it gets here a few days later. I’m sure you agree. What I really question is, what happens if records get lost in the mail? Are children made to wait for extended periods of time because the USPS is transferring their records around the World? How long does the receiving school wait before re-contacting the sending school to mention the missing records? Do the parents have any recourse in cases like that?

I’m thinking I need to do some research on this topic. I find the whole administrative process to be completely ass-backwards. Delay the appointment to register the kids, then have the records sent via snail mail so the delay is even longer. Make the kids miss out on their school time, which, by the way, is required by State law. In a case like this, where I’m the one being made to wait, isn’t the school district actually breaking the law? I’m trying to get my kids in school, and the district, both of them, actually, is keeping them out of school. I think I’ll mention this to the registrar tomorrow morning when I see her. I’d like to get a little clarity on what’s what as far as the school registration policy is concerned. If it’s really as screwed up as it looks like, I may have to warn any potential Long Islanders to enroll their kids in schools here before they’ve left the State where they currently live. Fingers crossed, though, that things go well tomorrow and that the boys can start school on Thursday. I’ll let you know.

Until next time…peace to all.