Fashion is as Fashion Was

I have no idea what made me think of tonight’s topic; it just popped into my head. The other day Ellen and I went to Kohl’s because she needed a few things. As we browsed the Women’s department we came across a pair of jeans, I think by Levi’s, and the tag said, “Virtual Stretch.” I shit you not. “Virtual Stretch” jeans. We both stopped and looked at each other as if to say, “Um, what?” Then Ellen said what I was thinking. “Virtual Stretch – I’ll just imagine myself being skinny in these jeans.” That was a great laugh, I gotta tell ya. Who comes up with the names for these items? C’mon.

And who decides the styles for women our age? We couldn’t figure that out. The Misses department had some really great looking shirts. I loved so many of them but, even though they were on sale, they were too expensive for me. I won’t pay $12 for a shirt at Kohl’s when I can get three shirts for the same price at Walmart. That’s just me; frugal to the end. Anyway, these tops and the jeans were really adorable. Then we meandered over to the Women’s department and the clothes were all dowdy and dumpy looking. Dark colors and awful patterns. What the fuck is up with that? Why do those of us in our 40s have to dress do glumly? Yuck!! With the exception of a few items, I wouldn’t put on anything they had in that store. It would make me feel old.

As it was they had some items on the shelves and racks that really made me feel old just by looking at them. There were actually button-down shirts with bell sleeves. I picked one up, held it in front of me, and started dancing and singing “Stayin’ Alive” in the store. I was totally taken back to the 70s with that shirt. Ellen had to tell me, since I haven’t been shopping for myself in a very long while, that those types of items are coming back. Now hold on here. That ugly shit is making a comeback? No way. Um, yes way. There were many items that I saw from that era.

What really made me laugh was that, while she was in the fitting room and I was browsing, I came across a sweater that caught my eye. It was still too expensive but worth picking up to take a better look at it. It was nicely folded on the table, had a really great color. As I lifted it and slowly unfolded it, I couldn’t help but laugh. It had a cowl neck on it. A cowl neck sweater! Holy crow. I wore cowl necks back in Junior High school. I realize that fashion skips a generation but this is ridiculous. It’s not my fault that I was alive during the first run of this stuff. Nobody should have to wear the same fashion items they wore back in their teens. I wore bell bottoms and cowl necks 30+ years ago and now I’m going to be stuck wearing them again. What gives?

To make matters worse, there was also a rack with long sweater dresses on it. The same sweater dresses that I used to pair with leggings when I was in High School. Ellen said those are coming back too. Now I’m really confused. I’ve got fashion styles coming back from three different periods in my life and I don’t know what to do. If and when I ever do go shopping for myself again I’ll have one seriously eclectic wardrobe. As long as the patterns and colors of these new old items are appealing, I guess I won’t really mind. Maybe I can even come up with fashions of my own that encompass all four. I’ll make a cowl neck sweater dress and pair it with denim, bell bottom leggings. That should cover everything all in one fell swoop. Then I won’t have to make too many decisions when I’m getting dressed in the morning. I’ll just be stuck deciding what shoes to wear. Oh no…maybe some Keds platform clogs?

Until next time…peace to all.