Still Laughing At This One

I wasn’t going to write about this but I have to because…well, because I’m me and I just can’t stop myself. It’s just so ridiculous. I was watching TV with the kids tonight and, at 9:00 I told the boys to go to bed and Dolly to go to sleep – which she actually did, by the way – because I wanted to watch my new favorite program and it’s not for kids. It was “Supernatural” but that’s beside the point; I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about it already. Oops. J So I was watching the show and a commercial came on that caught my attention.

Now, commercials don’t usually catch my attention and I rarely ever take note of what the product being sold is. This one didn’t catch enough of my attention that I can even remember the tag line but the product is in my head and won’t leave. I’m going to share it with you, and perhaps you’ve heard of it, perhaps not; and I’m probably going to sound really critical of it but, again, that’s just me. The commercial was for a product that now comes in designer colors to make all women happy. It was for maxi pads. Did you hear me? MAXI PADS that come in designer colors.

There were pretty little patterns all over the plastic wrap each pad comes in, and also on the sticky-sided covering of the pads themselves. On the absorbent side there were also designs, although not in colors, but the designs were there nonetheless. Are you fucking kidding me? Is this really necessary? Do we really need maxi pads in designer patterns and colors now? Or is this just a way to keep from firing the now-useless creative department of the production company?

Honestly, I’m wondering who came up with this idea, and how they actually decided that this is what we women want. Did they survey women as they walked down the street asking them if they’d prefer a plain, white or pink pad or something more colorful? Did they have a test group actually try the pads to see what the users’ reactions would be? These are feminine hygiene products, folks. Who needs them in designer colors? Nobody but the user ever sees them so what difference does it make?

Are there women standing in bathrooms together – we all know women go in groups – complaining because their current pads are boring and unimaginative? Are they wishing they had pads that would match their panties? If so, I want to know why. It’s a disposable product that gets used once and tossed in the garbage. To me it’s along the same lines as napkins and toilet paper that have designs on them. Sure, they look nice before they’re used but afterward the design doesn’t really mean much, does it? This is one of the most ludicrous things I think I’ve ever seen.

I, for one, don’t give a shit what color my pad is as long as it does the job correctly. I don’t need fancy designs or fancy colors on it. It’s not like I’m going to call all my female friends and discuss my latest find. “Oh, I’ve just got to tell you about the new maxi pads I just bought. They’re so pretty; pink and purple with little butterflies all over them. I just know I’ll feel really giddy the next time I need to use one. I’m so excited I hope my period comes early this month.” BLECH!!! Seriously?!

But just think, the next time you’re walking down the street and you see a woman who’s in a seriously great mood, smile on her face, bounce in her step, she could be really excited that her maxi pad doesn’t clash with her outfit. You may also run into women in bathrooms, chattering excitedly, taking pads out of their pocketbooks comparing the different designs they each bought; perhaps even trading occasionally the way kids do with baseball or Pokémon cards. Now that would be a sight and, if I ever come across a scene like that, I might just have to throw something at them.

I just can’t believe that women are so shallow that they really care about having designer feminine products. No offense if you do but, if that’s the case, you really need to reprioritize. I’m sure you can think of a hundred things you need that are more important than pretty pads. If you can’t, then you deserve to pay the extra $3.00 a box they’re probably going to charge you just for putting flowers and squiggles on something you’ll throw away after using it for three hours. I’ll think I’ll save my money on this one.

Until next time…peace to all.