Since all the local places were charging really steep amounts for pre-cut trees, Kara decided we’d go to the cut-your-own-tree place over in Baiting Hollow. She even grabbed her camera as we left so she could get shots of me cutting down the tree. “You don’t think I’m going to cut it down, do you?” Okay, I’ll cut down the tree. So off we go and as soon as we hit 25A we took notice of the car in front of us and busted laughing. Since we had the camera we had to get a picture. You can judge for yourselves how funny it was. The creativity is outstanding; and it’s the best ad I’ve seen in a long time.
We calmed down a bit and continued on until we saw signs for the place we wanted. What we really noticed was the huge field of sticks growing along the side of the road where these signs were posted. Nothing in the Pennysaver ad told us these were Charlie Brown Christmas trees so we were getting a bit nervous. Finally we find the trailer where the sales people were located and, after about 10 minutes of conversation with the guy in charge, we decide to try to scout a place with inexpensive pre-cut trees again. The guy said cutting down our own tree takes a minimum of an hour. The tractor has to carry us about ¼ of a mile back into the trees area, then we have to find a tree and cut it down. If, by chance, we get it cut down quickly we have to wait for the tractor to return to get us. What do we do in the meantime; play Tag amongst the trees? I don’t think so, especially when the wind chill was in the teens this morning.
So back on the road we go. As we’re driving along we’re passing some really nice houses that all have really nice Fir trees as part of their landscaping and we were debating the merits of coming back in the night and just taking one for ourselves. One house, especially, had so many in one front corner of the property that we could have easily hidden between them while we cut one and nobody would have seen us. Kara’s issue was, “You don’t think anyone will hear us when we yell ‘TIMBER!’ as we cut down the tree?” “We don’t HAVE to yell ‘TIMBER!’ when we cut down a tree.” “Yes we do.” “Oh, okay then. I’ll yell ‘TIMBER!’ and you can yell ‘FORE!’” “That’s fine but then who will yell ‘GERONIMO!’?” Back to laughing until we both caught sight of field on our left.
We had been passing fields along the way with numerous different things growing in them. This field, however, was different. It was “The Field of Mutant Trees.” I shit you not. We couldn’t figure out what the hell these trees were supposed to be. The bottom portions of the trees looked like they might have been Christmas trees but the tops were seriously deformed – twisted, flipped inside out, mutated. And they were only about three feet tall. They almost looked like they could be trees for Whoville. Yea, we were staying away from those trees; no doubt. A little further past there we came across the turkey farm and contemplated just getting a turkey and decorating it. They do all look, pretty much the same. But then we’d have to find one that didn’t move around a lot and that didn’t make a lot of noise. We nixed that idea too.
Finally we got to a place that had some decent trees at reasonable prices. Kara walked around the place with the sales dude (who was extremely hot, by the way, but was about a decade younger than we are. Too young. Bummer.) She saw a couple of trees that were decent, but she wasn’t really happy with any of them, and she had to pee. She hopped back in the car and we pulled right into the gas station so she could do what she needed to do. Back on the road she tells me the sales dude, Keith, told her of another place a couple of miles away where we might find a tree so we headed there.
About thirty seconds away from the place I hear Kara say, “Whoa, Barbra, slow down a bit,” and I realized she was talking about the song on the radio. It was Barbra Streisand’s version of “Jingle Bells” and I couldn’t help but laugh. The song is really fast; not speeded up, just her singing it really, really fast. (If you’ve never heard it, you can check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzgrYeSI7vs) We pulled into the tree lot and Kara asks me if I want to wait in the car and enjoy the song, “As fast as it’s going it should be over in about 10 seconds.” I said I’d wait and the song slowed down, but the second she shut the door it speeded up again and at exactly the same time she and I began bobbing up and down in rapid time with the speed of the song. Of course, more laughter until I couldn’t breathe.
Off she went to find the tree dude. She had him going back and forth across the lot, with an occasional wave and smile to me as she passed across my line of sight. I’d see her standing looking at a tree and suddenly the tree would bounce up and down a couple of times. It was Tree Dude banging them on the ground so Kara could see how the branches would fall. Finally, after bouncing a few trees she found one. VICTORY!!! She and Tree Dude come out to the car so he can tie the tree to the roof but I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Another hottie, yet another decade too young. (Of course that would be the case.)
Tree tied to the car; happy women discussing hot tree dudes; and lots of laughter – a great morning and a wonderful adventure. Granted, you may not find some of this as funny as we did but I had to share anyway. We had a blast; and Kara finally got here tree. Now it’s just a matter of putting it up and decorating it. That’ll be for tomorrow and should be another adventure in and of itself. I’ll definitely fill you in on that.
Until next time…peace to all.
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