This is my second night in a row writing about a TV show; not usual for me, but I couldn't resist. I was flipping channels tonight, trying to decide what to watch, and I came across “Everybody Loves Raymond.” It’s a sitcom set here in Lynbrook (which I know very well since I basically grew up right next door in Valley Stream ) about Ray and Debra, and their across-the-street neighbors, Ray’s parents and brother. The show ran for a long while and was a high-rated sitcom. While I liked the show to some degree there was one aspect that I just couldn’t stomach. Patricia Heaton’s character, Debra (Ray’s wife) just irked the shit out of me. She spent so much of her time putting down Ray or bullying him into doing what she wanted him to do that I couldn’t take watching her.
Patricia Heaton, who I’m sure is a wonderful person in real life, did a great job portraying the nagging wife. That’s probably why she was so popular on the show. I, however, looked at her character differently than most. Now remember, these are just my opinions, and you may or may not agree with me, but please keep the backlash to a minimum. When I watched how Debra treated Ray it just made me think of everything I’ve learned over the past few years and how her treatment of him could actually be considered verbal, psychological, and emotional abuse.
She spent a good portion of her time telling him what an idiot he was, or how moronic he was acting, or simply telling him that he would do what she wanted, “or else.” Honestly, that’s not the way anyone needs to treat anyone else, particularly a spouse – regardless of husband to wife, or vice versa. Not only did Debra treat Ray so poorly, she often did it in front of other people. Granted, Ray wasn’t the perfect husband and didn’t want to help with household chores and he left most of the child raising responsibilities to Debra, but he still didn’t need to be told he was a jerk on a constant basis. Debra knew what he was like when she married him. Aren’t we supposed to love our spouse unconditionally? I thought that’s how it was supposed to be. Please correct me if I’m wrong.
Yes, it’s just a TV show; I understand that. It’s meant to portray this family and the difficulties encountered by them with Ray’s mother always meddling, Ray’s father seeming to not care about anything, and Ray’s brother being jealous of Ray. I can understand Debra being frustrated by her mother-in-law always poking her nose into their business. It happens. I just think the producers could have thought of a better way for the wife to treat her husband.
When we look at kids’ TV shows, don’t we complain that some of them teach our children to make bad choices? I know parents who won’t let their kids watch “Spongebob” because of all the stupid things he does; I know parents who won’t let their kids watch “iCarly” because the character Sam is sarcastic, sometimes mean, and has been arrested; I even know parents who’ve complained about “Blue’s Clues” because Steve and Joe (the show’s two hosts) always wore the same outfits and the children watching didn’t think they should have to change their clothes. If we can complain about shows like that, why don’t we complain when a show portrays a wife verbally abusing her husband on a regular basis? Archie Bunker might have been a crank ass most of the time, but he did show Edith he loved her. Even Dan and Roseanne took their arguments behind closed doors and didn’t spend their time putting each other down.
I just think it’s a shame that one of the highest rated TV shows put such a bad personal quality into the limelight. It’s not funny, it’s not even amusing; it’s simply wrong to tell people that it’s okay to treat your spouse the way Debra treated Ray when you don’t get what you want when you want it. I’m guessing that most of you wouldn’t like your spouse to call you a moron every day, or to tell you how lazy you are for not helping around the house. Right? Of course I’m right. Like I said, it’s only a TV show and these are only my opinions but I still think it was wrong, and I find it even more disturbing that so many people thought the idea of it was great that they couldn’t miss the show every week.
In any case, I’m done ranting about it. There isn’t anything I can do other than to teach my children the correct way to treat each other, and how to treat other people, so they don’t grow up and end up being a Ray or a Debra in their future relationships. Maybe we could all try that and do a little something to change the world for the better. I’ll do my best; that’s about all I can do. Fingers crossed for the future generations.
Until next time…peace to all.
No comments:
Post a Comment