Favors of Days Gone By

Whatever happened to doing someone a nice, old fashioned favor without asking anything in return? I’ll explain what I mean. We had a snowstorm here Sunday into Monday. Kara ran out to the store on Sunday to get some rock salt and some cold cuts for the kids. When she got back she shoveled the driveway; the first six inches of snow that fell, and it was still snowing. I kept the kids company in the house while she was out there.

By Monday we had another foot of snow on the driveway that needed to be cleared. Now, our driveway is huge. It can hold seven cars: four in a line on one half, and three in a line on the half nearest the house; and it slants drastically downward toward the street. We have to keep our parking breaks on when we’re home. Anyway, we let Monday go by without shoveling because the sun was supposed to come out so we figured some of it would melt. We were wrong, so this morning I went out there to shovel the driveway myself. I wasn’t going to do the entire thing, just the shorter side so we could, at least, get Kara’s car out if we needed to go some place.

I started a little after 11:00 this morning and, by the time I was done, over two hours had passed. But I need to back track a little to get to my point about the favors. I’d done most of the shoveling and had about five feet of snow left to the end of the driveway, and the path I was shoveling was about seven feet across. A van pulls up next to the driveway and an elderly man got out and asked if I needed any help. As grateful as I would have been for the help, and as sweet as the offer was, I took into account his age and possible physical condition. I didn’t want anything to happen to him while he was helping me so I politely declined and explained, with a smile, that I was almost finished. He drove away.

A short while later, I had only three feet of snow left to the end of the driveway, and the same seven feet across. The problem was that this final patch was what the snow plows had pushed off the street so it was heavier and icier, and had twice as much snow in the pile; it was probably about three feet deep. Two young guys, younger than I am, pulled up in a truck that had a trailer on the back of it. They looked like they worked for a landscape company or something similar. They asked if I wanted the driveway plowed. Puzzled, I told them that I’d already shoveled the entire thing and just had that little bit left.

They were blocking traffic and asked again if I wanted help with the last section of snow. “Fine with me,” I thought. Without waiting for an answer from me, they were already maneuvering the truck across the street so they’d be able to get to their equipment or whatever they were going to use. As they were getting out of the way of traffic, I told them that I’d let them do the last little bit but that I wasn’t going to pay them for it; I had no money. Guess what? They just smiled at me, wished me a good day, and drove away. Are you fucking kidding me? It would have taken them all of 30 seconds, maybe a minute, to plow what was left of the snow for me yet they wouldn’t do it because I wasn’t going to pay them. How much would they have charged me for that little bit of work? I don’t know because I didn’t ask. There was no reason for me to ask.

In Missouri, we didn’t have to shovel the snow because the management office hired a crew to do that for us. However, my neighbors and I were out there shoveling anyway simply because we wanted to be able to get to our cars and the crew didn’t usually arrive until well into the night. They were actually out there one night at midnight. Regardless, we didn’t just shovel our own walkways; we helped one another get the job done. We were neighbors and we helped each other. Here, though, nobody bothers to help. Every neighbor I’d seen outside clearing driveways and walkways all had snow throwers. Do you think one of them offered to help us? Nope, not one. I would have even paid for the gas without them asking, but it would have been nice to get an offer. We did have one guy come up, yesterday, asking if we wanted the driveway shoveled. He was only going to charge $10 an hour. It took me over two to do half the driveway. Would he have milked it and over-charged us by taking twice as long? Who knows, but we weren’t taking that chance.

It just really amazes me that people can’t do nice things for their neighbors anymore simply because they don’t want to. If they do offer to help, it’s usually with an ulterior motive in mind. Why? What’s wrong with people helping people these days? It saddens me, it really does. I’ve always been the type to help others just for the sake of helping. Kara is helping me; Ellen helped me; lots of strangers have helped me; but people won’t help those that live next door to, or across the street from, them. What’s the big deal, folks? Next time you see a neighbor who might need assistance, offer yours without asking for something in return. You’ll be helping them and making yourself feel good at the same time. You get the satisfaction of knowing that your kindness made someone else’s day. That’s really all the payment you need. I’ve helped and been helped. Nothing feels better than doing a favor for someone, just because. Trust me, I know.

Until next time…peace to all.