Blah, Blah, Blah

I haven’t been here in a couple of days because I haven’t gotten down here at night with enough time to write anything. Been upstairs watching movies with Kara and her dude. By the time the movie is over, it’s almost midnight and I’m not sitting up until 1:00 in the morning writing, especially when there hasn’t been much to say that’s all that exciting. Last Tuesday I was discussing pulling myself out of my funk, which I’m working on, but I still haven’t been to the store to get notebooks to start the 30-day workbook. I’ll do that as soon as I remember it.

Then Wednesday we had a monster snowstorm. It wasn’t supposed to start snowing until after 10:00 in the morning but it started early. I drove Dolly to school and the streets were already starting to get covered. I actually sat in a parking lot debating whether or not to turn around and pick her up from school or just leave her. I left her but asked Kara if she would pick up Dolly at the end of the day, or earlier if they closed schools. I don’t mind driving in snow but I had to take Kara’s car since her dude’s van was blocking mine in the driveway, and I’m not crazy about driving someone else’s car in the snow. As much as I drive Kara’s car, I still wasn’t happy about going in the snow, especially since the road Dolly’s school is on doesn’t get cleared very well, if at all. It’s a narrow road with heavy traffic and I just don’t trust other people in that kind of weather.

Anyway, we waited all day to see if schools would let out early; they didn’t. So we waited all evening to see if schools would be closed the next day. Remember, last time we had a snow storm they had it posted and I got the Parent-Link phone call at 8:00 the night before. Not last week. We got the kids ready for bed and went through our usual routines. At 5:30 Thursday morning the phone rang with the Parent-Link message saying school was closed for the day. What sucks is that they have both of our cell phone numbers and the house phone number. Kara gets the call on her cell, then the house phone rings, then my cell phone rings. Then we get an email. Okay, whatever.

So we spent the day outside with the kids. Kara’s man made the kids a huge sledding slide in our front yard. I’ve mentioned that our driveway is a hill, and so is the front yard, of course. It’s huge. So he built them a slide from the top of the yard, just outside the front door, all the way down to the bottom of the yard. Then we dug a trench-like stopping point so the kids would stop easily. There was a wall of snow about five feet wide between our stopping point and the street, and the trench was dug on the inner side of that wall. When the kids reached the bottom they, sort of, dropped into a tiny ditch. It was safe for them and one of us was standing at the bottom waiting, just in case. The kids had a blast and the grownups had a lot of laughs.

Friday was school as usual and my kids went with their dad for the weekend. I spent Saturday and Sunday helping Kara’s boys build Lego stuff, and helping her dude do projects around the house. Kara’s not allowed in the area where we’re working because she hovers and questions everything. Beau (not his real name, of course) tells her to stay away and let us do what we have to do. She doesn’t mind because she knows her OCD gets in our way.

Anyway, that’s why I haven’t been here. I’ve been busy during the days, and relaxing at night, and nothing exciting has really happened. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and planning about things and am trying to make some decisions and changes but I’ll fill you in on those as they happen. Meantime, I’ll be here, maybe not as diligently as I was in the past, but that will pick up again as soon as things start happening. I promise. I know you miss me. For now, I’ll just do my best to keep you updated and to check in every couple of days. When things start falling into place for me, though, expect me to be here non-stop. I know you can’t wait.

Until next time…peace to all.

Time To De-funk the Funk

There’s a serious funk around this house; a funk that has got to go – NOW. No matter what Kara and I try, nothing is working out the way we want it to these days and we have to change that. For the past couple of days I’ve been so out of sorts that I can’t even stand it; today was worse than the past couple. I was in tears constantly and didn’t know what to do about it. Then, I spoke with my friend Michelle Moe. She’s a dear friend from Missouri who I met back in 2007; since then she’s been teaching me about pure positive energy and the law of attraction and all of that.

When she first started teaching me I did a great job of manifesting and visualizing and things were going really well for me; really well. I meditated, I saw what I wanted, I put my thoughts and feelings out to the Universe and I always had what I wanted and needed when I wanted and needed it. Then something happened and I stopped the practice. I don’t know why and I don’t even remember what the circumstances were at the time. I just know that I fell out of practice and things began going downhill. Yes, I did have some positive times but they fluctuated so much that I couldn’t keep up with them.

Well, after I spoke with Moe today, she reminded me of a few things and even gave me some new techniques to use. Just speaking to her makes me feel better; she’s that type of person. She always knows when I need her and always contacts me at just the right time. We spoke for a few minutes about some work I’m doing for her but the majority of our conversation revolved around me and things that are going on over here; and what I need to do to change them. She was right, too. Had I not let myself get into such a funk I would have remembered some of them and would have started doing them already. Sometimes it just takes that extra little nudge to get me going.

After we hung up I did what she told me, without hesitation. I rearranged some of the things in my room so I’m not looking at the same old stale layout – not furniture, mind you; I don’t have the space to do that kind of rearranging. I rearranged the items hanging on my walls around my computer; the stuff I look at constantly during the day. I pulled out my vision board (a collage of things I want in my life), my sheet of positive phrases, and a few other items that help me generate positive energy. I hung them up where I can look at them all the time. They’d been in a box since I moved from Missouri. Now they’re back out and in full view.

I’m also going to make “Wants” lists – lists of things I want for the day, for the week, for the month, and for the year. Once they’re out there in the Universe, I’m back on the grid. I’m out there for the energy to find me and begin swirling in my direction once again. I’m also going to buy some notebooks so I can start doing Abraham’s 30-day workbook again. In the past, whenever I needed to manifest quickly, I’d do the workbook and all was right in my world. I need that again. I’m going to teach Kara how to do it too; in fact, I’m going to teach her to do all of this so the two of us can manifest together and get rid of the funk that’s surrounding our household. There are going to be some serious positive changes over here in the near future. I’ll let you know all about them.

In the meantime, if you want any information about Moe, you can visit her web site: http://www.keepyourbobberup.com/ – there’s even a link to download the workbook there. You can use that one or, if you choose, you can do the shortened version, it works also. If you want info on how to do the shortened version, just let me know and I’ll explain it. I’m also going to start listening to Esther “Abraham” Hicks again (you can find her on youtube) because Abraham’s words never fail to give me a lift. I just can’t be negative after listening to a seminar or two; and I highly recommend them.

I’m off to begin manifesting now but I’ll leave you with Moe’s words for the day – she posts a positive something or other on Facebook each day – “Once you start deliberately creating and your vortex opens, you can never keep up with the action of it. Don't worry about the who, how, where, or when; this just slows down the process...Just keep your focus on the what and why and enjoy your ride...” – Michelle Moe

Until next time…peace to all.

Kids Are Good For A Laugh Sometimes

You remember that show, “Kids Say the Darndest Things” that was hosted by Bill Cosby? Well, the past couple of days over here have been like that. We’ve been laughing constantly because of the kids and what they’ve said. I just thought I’d share a few of the highlights.

Last night at dinner, Kara and I were there with all five kids and Kara’s new beau. We were all sitting at the dinner table just talking about basic stuff and Beau started asking the kids about the different holidays here. Beau’s from Europe and still has trouble with English so we try to speak a little slower so he can keep up with the conversation. Anyway, during the course of the conversation, Zach said something about being able to speak a different language and asked me if, when he gets older, I would teach him to “speak the language like the people in England speak.” I couldn’t help but laugh, as did Kara and Beau. Then I explained to Zach that the people in England speak like Mary Poppins, and it’s English. He thought for a second and said, “Oooh, okay.” Then he laughed at his mistake.

Shortly thereafter he said something silly again, about our friend Sylvia only being half Indian (she’s full-blooded Choctaw), and I told him his Polish was showing. My ex is Polish – hence the ‘ski’ at the end of our last name – and he always makes jokes about himself when he makes a mistake. He calls himself a dumb Pollock. (No, I’m not being prejudiced or derogatory in any way, shape or form. These are just comments that are said within my family, about my family. I don’t need to hear anyone complaining to me about anything I’ve said here. Please and thanks.) So Zach asked me what I meant by his Polish showing and I explained that, when he does something silly, it’s because of his Polish side, just like his dad. He laughed out loud at that. Then Kara told a very cute, very simple Polish riddle, and, when she revealed the answer every kid at the table understood but Zach’s response was, “I don’t get it.” We all laughed at that. His Polish was definitely showing then.

Moving forward to tonight. It was dinner time again and we were all at the table, as usual. Kara made a really good kielbasa dish with sauerkraut, apples, and brown sugar. All the kids were complaining about not liking the food when they all eat it all the time, just not made the way it was tonight. So they each had some kielbasa and a little bit of the sauerkraut to try. None of them liked the sauerkraut but they all ate the kielbasa. Dolly was eating hers straight off the fork. She’d speared it and was just nibbling but I had to take all the sauerkraut off first. Finally I got annoyed because she was complaining about every stinking little piece of sauerkraut on her kielbasa. I grabbed the kielbasa off her fork and shoved it in my mouth to suck the sauerkraut off of it. Then I handed it back to her.

Kara and Beau were laughing at me because, well, they’ve got dirty minds. Kara actually said, “Please, not at the table,” to which I replied, with a big grin and since I don't have a man in my life, “It’s as close as I’ll get any time soon.” Just then, her oldest son, Big Boy, who hadn’t been paying attention when I did what I did asked, clear as day, “What, did she suck off the kielbasa?” That comment right there was enough to make me leave the table before any of the kids saw how hard I was laughing. What’s even funnier is that Big Boy didn’t have any hidden meaning to his question; it was an honest kid question, just poorly worded, through no fault of his own. We couldn’t even explain why we were laughing, either.

We all had a couple of good laughs over these comments, though, and maybe you did too. Sometimes they’re not as funny if you’re not there when they’re said but I’m sure you can handle it. I think I’m going to keep track of what they say all the time so I’ll be able to share them with the kids when they’re older. I think they’d like that and I hope you enjoyed tonight’s stories.

Until next time…peace to all.

Shame On You

I haven’t blogged in a while because I haven’t really had anything to say; but I’m back now. I’ve actually got a gripe tonight and need to vent. What else is new, right? You’ll indulge, me, I’m sure. It’s about the differences between divorced parents, and those of you in my boat will know exactly what I’m talking about. Those of you not in my boat may know someone in the same situation. We’ll see.

We divorced mothers don’t really get a break from our kids. Not that I’m complaining about it; it’s the way it is and we do what we need to do. I love my kids to death but I do need a break from them at times, just to regroup and collect myself. I just don’t always have that luxury. Divorced dads, those who don’t have full custody of their kids, on the other hand, do have that luxury. They don’t have the kids all the time and get to do things we moms don’t get to do.

Dads get to go out to dinner with their friends and don’t have to hire babysitters, they get to go to sporting events, they get to have parties at their houses, they get to leave home on a whim. They also get to say, “I’m not feeling well so I won’t be picking up the kids this weekend.” Let me repeat that. “I’m not feeling well so I won’t be picking up the kids this weekend.” Or, in the words of my ex, “I don’t think I’ll grab the kiddos this weekend. I just had double root canal and I still feel like poop.” He’s got a cold that he mentioned to me earlier. Why does he think he deserves the right to not visit his kids because of something like that? He doesn’t even know how he’ll feel tomorrow.

If I get a cold I can’t say, “Gee, I don’t think I want my kids for a couple of days because I don’t feel well.” If I have a root canal (never had one but just on the off-chance) I can’t send them away. If I break a leg, or get an ingrown toenail, or have an eyelash out of place, I still have to be here for my kids. I don’t have the opportunity to just not be around them because something is not the way it’s supposed to be that day. Why do fathers think they do have that right? I’m not understanding something and I wish someone would explain it to me.

In that same regard, Kara’s ex was supposed to pick up their boys this weekend. Kara and I, thinking all of the kids would be out of the house for two days, had lots of plans to continue with the work around the house and we were making lists of things to be done. My ex cancelled on me and hers did the same thing a couple of hours ago. He, however, has no explanation for why he’s not picking up their boys; he just said he’s not getting them. What the fuck? This is a guy who’s already pissed off that he has to drive an hour each way to see his kids - AN HOUR. Seriously? At least my ex doesn’t complain about that. Kara’s ex hardly ever sees their boys, though, because he’s got a life of his own, hates to drive out here, doesn’t have the time, or whatever else his pipe may be that day.

In any case, she was really pissed off when he texted her a little while ago. He originally said it was because we’re supposed to get snow overnight. The snow is supposed to end by late morning and Kara texted him that. His response was that he’s just not getting the boys. Okay, fine. She wanted to text him back and say something but I told her to just let it go. I didn’t say anything to Paul about the fact that he may feel much better tomorrow; she doesn’t need to try to convince her ex to get her boys either. She started to object but then agreed with me. “You’re right. I’m going to let it go. We both will. There’s a reason none of the kids will be gone this weekend so we’ll just find something to do with them.” Fine by me. We’ll do what we always do on the weekends when the kids are all here. Nothing will be different; except for one thing.

This house will be filled with five seriously disappointed kids. My kids are already upset that they won’t be seeing their dad this weekend. I just got the message from him right after the boys finished their homework - around 4:30. Kara got her message around 8:00 tonight. All of our kids went to bed sad and hurt that they can’t be with their respective dads this weekend. It breaks my heart. You can’t explain to kids and have them understand that their dad doesn’t feel well; and you certainly can’t explain to kids that their dad just changed his mind. If any of them bring up the issue tomorrow, I’ll tell any one of them to take it up directly with whichever dad belongs to that kid. If the dads can’t do what’s needed, they can explain it directly to the kids.

Here’s a message to all you dads out there who pull shit like this. I know dads who are fighting to be able to spend time with their kids. I know dads who go out of their way to see their kids, regardless of the circumstances. I know dads who drive across three counties just to have dinner with their kids for a couple of hours. Then I know dads like you. Dads who don’t feel well and won’t be up to seeing their kids. Dads who forgot they already made plans. Dads who’re fighting with their girlfriends and don’t have time to see their kids because they have to make sure their relationship is still intact. Now I have to tell you to stop being such fucking babies. Your kids act more mature than you do.

It’s not the ex-wives you’re hurting. It’s not us who get disappointed. It’s not us who cry and act out when you cancel. It’s not us who say we don’t ever want to see you again because you said you’d be here this weekend. It’s not us who call you liars. It’s your kids who do that; and it’s your kids you’ll have to answer to in the end. So keep doing what you’re doing; keep being selfish, keep turning your kids away because things aren’t right on your end. I promise you, one day they’ll be doing the same thing to you and you won’t have anyone to blame but yourselves. Just a little tip from a divorced mom of three.

Until next time...peace to all.

Strange, But Interesting

I was going to wait until later to post but I can’t because I’m afraid I’ll forget the details. I had dream (no pun intended with regard to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day) last night that was really weird and I’m hoping someone can help me interpret it. I’m going to try to be as specific as possible, so please bear with me.

It started with me in a large auditorium in a pre-school, I think it was. All the children of the school were in the auditorium just sitting quietly. Then, the cook from the movie “Matilda” – an old, haggy, cranky woman – came into the auditorium pulling huge carts with all the children’s lunches in them. I decided to let her serve the kids their lunch and I would stay out of the way so I walked to the back of the auditorium and sat on the floor against the back of the last row of seats. Behind me was a closed door leading to the rest of the school. I sat there for a few minutes when the cook came and sat down on the floor beside me; but she had her hands covering her face, the way someone who was stressed and frustrated might be.

I asked her if there was a problem and she just shook her head and said she’d be fine. As she uncovered her face I noticed that she wasn’t as old as I’d originally thought. I was awed, and I asked her how old she was. She said she was 23. I was totally shocked and told her that she’d looked older than I am (I’m 43) when I first saw her. Once she de-stressed she looked her age again; it was amazing. Then I asked her what her name was (mind you, I’ve heard names in my dreams before, but never first and last names.) and she said, “Amanda Pitt.” (I remember it as clearly as if she was sitting here talking to me right now.) So I asked her if she was any relation to Brad Pitt – she wasn’t – and we had a short discussion on the merits of being related to a celebrity. From behind me I heard a voice and there was another young girl – I saw her face clearly but don’t know her name – sitting on the floor in the doorway. The door was now open and the hallway lights were on behind her. She joined our discussion of celebrity relationships which only lasted another few seconds.

Suddenly the room I was in was no longer an auditorium. I couldn’t tell if it was a large office or a tiered college lecture hall. You’ve seen those types of rooms; the professor stands down front and the desks are in rows that level up in tiers. That’s the best way I can describe the room I was in, though – it was exactly like a tiered college lecture hall only the desks were the size of office desks. Anyway, the dark walls of what used to be the auditorium were now a HUGE panoramic window that went down the left side of this new room and across the entire front of it.

I looked out the window to my left and saw the strangest vehicle I’ve ever seen in my life. The picture I’ve posted here gives you an idea of what the vehicle looked like – the drawing is really remedial so give me a break on that, please and thanks. It was a bright green, dome-shaped vehicle that was only slightly wider than an average person is wide at the shoulders. It was made of steel, as any car would be, but the top wasn’t flat like it is in my drawing, it was rounded side to side – no sharp edges. The shield you see on the vehicle had an emblem of a knight on a horse (I’ve never seen a shield like that but it was there in my dream.). It was just driving up the street toward an intersection. I commented that, “That is the weirdest car I’ve ever seen in my life” as it passed the window. The other 50-or-so adults who were now in the room with me (I don’t know what happened to all the children, this is a dream) and I all watched this little “car” drive to the stoplight. It stopped and turned around and the shield actually slid around the car and ended up on the other end. I can only figure that, when it moved, it uncovered a window on the other end of the vehicle so the driver would be able to see from that side of the car. I don’t know; it happens in dreams.

So the car continued heading back down the road toward the front of the window where I suddenly saw hundreds of people all dressed in bright green Renaissance garb running across a huge lawn. The green was the same color as the car and the same color as the lawn. The lawn and the costumes were so green that they blended together and I almost didn’t realize there was a lawn. Anyway, these people were putting on some kind of Renaissance performance (I couldn’t see an audience other than the people in the room with me) and they were all running from my left to my right. Just then, I commented, “Wow, a sea of green.” I paused and then said, “My friend Rakefet would totally love this!” Now, Rakefet does exist, and she is my friend, but I have absolutely no clue whether she likes Renaissance stuff or not. Go figure.

Right after I said it, I heard someone behind me stand up, so I turned. It was Rakefet. She said, “This is the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen.” I smiled at her and turned back toward the window. It was then that I noticed that the lawn was actually a bank of a huge river and that, aside from the hundreds of bright-green-clad people running on the lawn, there were hundreds more jumping into the river (as part of the performance) and just floating downstream with the strong river current. It was literally green, green, and more green. I couldn’t believe my eyes but I felt very calm and happy while I watched this scene; and, pretty much, felt calm and happy through the entire dream. As I watched the people on the lawn and in the river, the dream faded and I was awake. I stayed in bed for a few minutes while I digested and remembered the dream so I could make sure I got all the details correct.

I’ve looked up different aspects from the dream on dreammoods.com and have gotten lots of information. I looked up green, Renaissance, pre-school, college, people, stranger, friend, river, lawn, knight, auditorium, children, and door. All of them have very positive meanings and suggest that I’m headed in the right direction to get all that I want and need. I can’t figure out what the space-age car means, and I don’t know the significance of getting the girl’s first and last names. I also don’t know how to tie everything together, or even if it’s all meant to be tied together. Maybe one of you can help me with that.

I told you last night I’d have something more interesting to discuss today; and I believe I’ve achieved that goal. If I remember something else about the dream, or if I figure out any more of the clues, I’ll let you know. Until I hear anything different, though, I’m going to figure that I’m moving in the right direction in my life, and I will take comfort that I’m on the verge of achieving my dream goals. I can’t wait.

Until next time…peace to all.

Try, Try Again

I don’t usually pay attention to what my neighbors are doing, but today I couldn’t help myself. I was standing in the kitchen and just glanced out the window which faces the main road in front of the house. It also faces, obviously, the side street that’s directly across from us. Our neighbors, who live at the end of that side street, have a driveway like ours – it’s extremely long and runs uphill, but theirs curves to their garage.

Just as I got to the window I happened to notice that neighbor sitting in his SUV at the end of his driveway; the front of the truck was in the street and the rear was just into the end of the driveway. Suddenly he started reversing backwards up the driveway. That’s actually what caught my attention. See, he didn’t really shovel his driveway the other day after the snow storm. Apparently he spread sand on it and, after more snow had accumulated, he decided to shovel. The damage was done, though, because what was left was a thick layer of compressed, icy, and sanded snow stuck to the surface.

Anyway, dude backs up the driveway and, just as he reaches the peak of it, his tires start to spin – it’s a front-wheel-drive vehicle. He cuts the wheel but it doesn’t do any good. So he pulls forward again to the bottom of the driveway stopping just beyond the end of the driveway – exactly where he started from the first time. He backs up again, hits that same spot at the peak and spins his tires. He cuts the wheel, again, to no avail. So, again, he pulls all the way down the driveway stopping in the exact same spot.

My first thought was, “Dude, maybe if you pulled further into the street and got a longer running start you’d actually make it all the way to the top.” I’m guessing he couldn’t read my mind because he repeated exactly what he’d already done twice; and he continued doing it another five times after that. Eight times this dude tried backing his SUV up his driveway only to have it spin and slide when he reached the peak. Eight times…He didn’t try moving farther into the street to get a better run at it, he didn’t try moving over in the driveway to find a spot with better traction; he didn’t do anything any differently than he’d already done. I found it very interesting; which probably explains why I couldn’t stop watching.

Finally, he pulls to the end of the driveway and out to the main road. I figured he was just giving up and going out somewhere. Nope. He pulls a turn-around in the middle of the road, heads up his driveway, forward this time, and makes it all the way up to his garage. Success at last and I could get back to what I was doing. What was really funny was that I wasn’t even laughing at the guy; I was only mildly amused at the entire scene. I was just really curious to see what he would do to get up the driveway, and I was more curious to know what he was thinking that he kept repeating the exact same scenario when it wasn’t working. Even kids will try something different when they do something and it doesn’t work. My neighbor is an adult; you’d think he knows better. I don’t know, I just thought it was interesting and wanted to share. Tomorrow I’ll have something more interesting to discuss.

Until next time…peace to all.

Mommy vs. Apple Juice

Dolly asked for juice tonight just as the kids were getting ready for bed. Kara was out so I had all five kids to contend with as far as bedtime was concerned. They were all sleeping down here, a sleepover, if you will, since schools are closed tomorrow (or today; it’s after midnight) so it really wasn’t difficult. I asked Dolly to get ready for bed and I’d make her some juice. I got the pitcher out and then went to the freezer to get the juice. I use the frozen concentrates that are 100% juice and I mix them with lots of water to cut down on the sugar content. Anyway, I was prepared to make the juice; that’s when the fight started.

This particular juice is Seneca apple juice and it comes in the cardboard tube rather than the hard plastic tube. It’s also got a soft plastic zip strip around the top. You pull the strip off and the metal top comes right off – or so it’s supposed to. I pull off the strip but the top doesn’t open. Huh? I spin the can around and around trying to find the problem. Ah ha, the entire zip strip didn’t come off. No problem; I’ll just pull the rest off and I’ll be on my way. Grab the little piece that’s sticking off the edge of the can and pull. Oops, lost my grip. Try again. Ugh!! Lost my grip again. That little piece isn’t very big. Grab it even harder; without long nails this isn’t an easy task. One last try. Fuck!! It won’t budge.

Try another tactic. I’ll get a butter knife and slide it up and under the edge and push the top off the tube. Okay, got the knife…but – where’s the edge? Hmmm…not a very big lip. I’ll just shove the knife under it hard. It’ll work; it’s got to. Got…to…get…the…knife…under…the…lip…of…the…lid. {huffing and puffing} Flipping knife won’t go under and the cardboard won’t even collapse the tiniest bit. I could keep trying but now I’m worried that, if I do get the knife under the edge, I’ll push too hard and frozen juice will splatter all over the kitchen counter. Best not to force the issue. Okay, I’ve got to get this lid off; it’s a must and I will not let the juice win!

It’s a cardboard tube; I can just squeeze it a little to get the sides to smoosh in and the lid will just pop off. How hard can it be? I’ll tell you how hard. REALLY, REALLY hard. The juice isn’t completely frozen anymore and cardboard is flexible. What the fuck is the problem? I’m just not squeezing hard enough. Squeeze…harder!! {grunting} It’s a lid on a juice container, for shit’s sake, I’m not trying to squeeze blood from a stone. COME ON ALREADY!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…that’s not working; try something else.

I’ll just put down the tube for a while and give it a rest. It’s getting scared, I can tell. I’m bigger and stronger. I can win this fight. I stop to make sure all the kids are in pajamas and ready for bed. Movies are on; kids are in beds or sleeping bags and are settled to watch TV for a while. Good. Good night all; happy dreams. Dolly: “Mommy, where’s my juice?” “I’m getting it; just give me a minute.” Back upstairs to attack the problem again.

What else can I use to get this friggin lid off this tube? Ah, a steak knife ought to do it. I’ll just trail the knife around the edge of the tube, just under the lid. That will be able to cut what’s left of that little plastic strip. Yeh, that’ll do it. Just cut the rest of the strip and the lid will come off the tube. I get the knife and grab the blade. (Children, this stunt is being performed by a professional mommy – DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!) I have to grab the blade because holding it by the handle won’t allow me to put as much pressure on the cut as I need. Anyway, I grab the blade and drag the point of the knife around the can. Whew!! The strip is cut; pick off the lid. {pause} I said, “The strip is cut; pick off the lid.” Did you hear me? “THE STRIP IS CUT. TAKE THE LID OFF THE TUBE!” Fucker! The strip isn’t cut and the lid won’t come off. DUH!! Do it again. Okay. And again. Okay. And again. This strip of plastic must be made of steel because it…won’t…cut. And, of course, the lid is still on the tube of juice. Good thing Dolly isn’t dehydrated and apple juice is her only cure. One last idea and then I’m just going to get a hammer and a screwdriver and bust the fucker to pieces. I’ll use the can opener.

The can opener won’t work, stupid, but go ahead and try. The lip on the lid isn’t big enough for the can opener to clamp to it. I know but it’s my last resort. Well then, you give it your best shot. What have you got to lose? Nothing so hush up. Fine. I get the can opener from the drawer and stick it on the lid. What the fuck? It holds. Crank the handle. It turns. A couple of more turns and the lid is off the tube. Are you fucking kidding me? Why didn’t I think of this a half hour ago? Uh, you did but you just didn’t think it would work; past experience has taught you that. I know, I know, but don’t most people try the most obvious solution first? Yes, you dunce; now you’ll know for next time. Oh, trust me, there won’t be a next time. From now on I’m sticking with the hard plastic tubes of juice; they’re less combative and my kids won’t shrivel into prunes waiting for something to drink. A good lesson for us all. The best part – I WON THE FIGHT!! Take that!!

Until next time…peace to all.

Please Don't 'Should' On Me

Something I learned over the past couple of years is letting go of “shoulding” on myself and on other people. I learned it in a class I took back at Hope House in MO. Granted, I haven’t completely stopped but I’m getting there and we all work on it here in our household. I’m sure you all know what I mean. It’s when you say “I should have done…” or you tell someone else “You should do…” “Should” implies a black/white, right/wrong situation. For example, if I say, “You should have done such-and-such” to my friend, I’m saying, “I’m right, you’re wrong, ” and I’m making my friend feel bad about what she did. If I say, “I should have done such-and-such” I’m telling myself that what I did do was wrong, and saying that what I did was unacceptable. We all have opinions and none of them is the perfect answer to any situation. So in our home we try not to “should” on ourselves or on anyone else, and it really hits home with my kids.

When we were back in Maryland for those couple of months Ty came home upset from school one day. I asked him what was wrong and he said, “The kids in my class were telling me I should do this or I should do that. It made me feel bad with them telling me what to do.” I asked him if he said anything to them about it. “No.” So I gave him a suggestion. “Try this. Next time one of them tells you you should do something, smile and politely say, ‘Please don’t should on me.’ then go on and do whatever it is you’re doing.” He agreed it was a good suggestion but asked me to send an email to his teacher. When I asked why he said, “Because saying ‘Please don’t should on me’ sounds like I’m saying the ‘s’ word.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Even though I explained that it didn’t sound that way I sent an email to the teacher explaining what I’d suggested Ty do. She was a bit sad that he hadn’t come to her with the issue but said my suggestion sounded great and that she would let Ty know it was okay for him to say it if need be. Ty was happy about that but never had to use the suggestion because we moved shortly thereafter.

Now, we use the expression all the time around here so he’s getting used to it. We use it so much so that I had the best laugh of the day first thing this morning because of it. Zach woke up in a seriously grouchy mood. He wanted to play his DS but had left it on all night and it wasn’t charged. What did he do? He blamed me for it. He said it was my fault that it wasn’t charged because I took it off the charger. I didn’t, but that was beside the point. In any case, I told him that, because he was being such a brat I was going to take his DS with me in the car when I drove Dolly to school, and that he could play it later in the afternoon IF his behavior and mood changed drastically.

Once he realized I was taking his prized game (the boys got them from Paul for Christmas and he just let them bring them home this Sunday when he dropped them off here.) he got really angry and started screaming at me, “I’m such a mean person. I should be grounded for the rest of my life. I don’t deserve to have the DS. I should just be grounded. I know I’m ‘shoulding’ on myself and I’m not supposed to, but I don’t care right now. I should be grounded for being so mean.” How’s that for getting a lesson to hit home? Not only was I happy that he knew not to do it, but I was seriously amazed that he would even think of it in the middle of his tirade. I almost fell off my chair from laughing so hard.

Dolly didn’t understand what was so funny. She knows not to say “should” but she doesn’t get the concept of why we don’t say it. She will eventually, though, and with the lesson so ingrained in her brothers’ heads, I’m sure she’ll understand it sooner rather than later. We’ll become a “Should Free” household. If we can do it, you can too. It costs nothing and helps make life a little easier. Just make a conscious effort not to “should” on yourself or anyone else and see how much better you feel.

Until next time…peace to all.

Kudos and Compliments

I got the best compliment today but I’ll back track a little so you’ll understand. The kids were with their dad this weekend because it was his weekend. Ty and Dolly each had a birthday party to attend also. Since the weather was supposed to be extremely bad with lots of snow, we offered the kids the choice of staying home and attending the parties or going to Dad’s and possibly missing the parties if we got a lot of snow. They all decided to go to Dad’s and, if they had to, they’d miss the parties.

Well, we didn’t get the snow they predicted so Paul had to drive Ty back out here yesterday to attend his party then pick him up afterward. Today Dolly’s party was at a bowling alley over in Port Jeff. Paul was going to take her and I would meet him there to stay with her. Had it been at someone’s house I would have just let him leave her there. Since it was in a public place, I didn’t feel safe leaving her there. I didn’t know how many parents would be staying or how many kids would be attending. I just felt it was too easy for someone to lure a four year old away. Anyway, when I woke up this morning I had a screaming ear ache and sore throat; and I didn’t think any of the party parents would appreciate me sitting around with their kids for a couple of hours.

I called Paul to ask if his girlfriend – they live together – was able to take Dolly to the party and I would just pick her up afterward. He said he would take her and let the boys bowl a couple of lanes down. He also said he’d bring them home afterward. Cool. Worked for me. It turned out that he took Dolly to the party and the boys hung out with his girlfriend. She also took them to Wendy’s to get something for dinner. That was nice. He dropped off the kids, said their goodbyes to Dad and he was gone. That’s when I found out about their change in plans as far as who took Dolly to the party.

So here comes the part about the compliment. I sent his girlfriend a text thanking her for hanging with the boys, telling her I appreciated it. I felt it was the right thing to do. So I got this response: “Anytime. They are all great kids you should be proud of them and yourself ... I know the trials of single parenting ;)” That has to be the best compliment I’ve gotten in a long time. Not because she said the kids were great – I know they are; not because she said I should be proud of them – I am; it was because she said I should be proud of myself and that she understands about being a single parent.

See, nobody from Paul’s family has ever acknowledged anything about my kids – to me. When I lived in MO Paul got them that one time for vacation and made it adamant that he had to have them here in NY rather than saving money and just visiting them in MO. Whatever. His attitude has always been, and still is, that he has to show off his kids and what a great parent HE is. Not that he isn’t, but he didn’t have anything whatsoever to do with how the kids have turned out so far. He wasn’t there, remember? I’m sure he took whatever compliments he received about the kids as a personal congratulations.

The fact that his girlfriend gave me the compliment, along with the acknowledgment of single parenting, tells me that she understands that Paul didn’t have much to do with raising the kids thus far. Yes, my other friends have all told me; counselors have told me; the kids’ teachers have told me; but nobody from the kids’ paternal side of the family has ever mentioned it. Yes, they all know that I’ve raised the kids alone, for the most part, and I think that they all realize that how the children behave is because of my teaching them; it would just be nice to actually hear it once in a while. No, I’m not looking to be put on a pedestal but it really irks me when people tell Paul what great kids he has and he says “Thank you” as if he had something to do with it. I’d bet my life that he has never responded with, “Well, the compliments should really go to Beth, she did most of the work so far.”

I haven’t done anything that any other single parent hasn’t done, don’t get me wrong. I don’t deserve a gold medal or a monument in my honor or anything else. It’s just that, sometimes it’s nice to hear that other people appreciate us for what we’ve done. It would be really nice to have someone from Paul’s family actually say, “You’ve done a great job with the kids; we know it’s been hard.” I doubt I’ll ever get that, though, not from them. They don’t even speak to me any more and I doubt I’ll ever have reason to be in the same room with any of them. Regardless, the compliment I received from Paul’s girlfriend really put a lift in my day and I felt the need to share it.

On another note, my friend Tracy is having a hard day today. Her oldest moved out of the house today to start life on his own. She’s having trouble dealing with it even though she knows what a great kid he is, because she raised him to be that way. He’s smart, responsible, and an all-around wonderful person. He’ll do fine on his own but it’s always hard for moms to let their kids go, even though we raise them to do just that. I’ve got years to go before I have to deal with that so it’s easy for me to say right now. Tracy knows she’s a great mom, and that her son will do fine. So chin up, Tracy; know that you did a wonderful job raising an equally wonderful man. Grab some tissues and just let the tears flow – you deserve it after all the hard work you’ve put in over the years. Just remember, he’ll always know who gave him his fabulous start. Love and hugs to you, girl.

Until next time…peace to all.

Get a Grip, America

I don’t watch too much regular TV, I generally watch movies; and I really don’t watch reality TV if I can help it. Occasionally I’ll watch a talk show if I find something interesting; and, if I’m flipping channels and see a reality TV show on that catches my attention I may watch it for a minute or two. I’ve seen “American Idol” once, a couple of years ago, and when the girl got voted off the show her tantrum just irritated me so I never watched it again. I’ve never watched “Survivor” because I can’t understand how “real” it can be with 500 crew people all standing around filming. I’ve seen one show with Kara about people trying to become chefs; I’ve seen “Bridezilla” once; and I’ve seen that show about the really expensive sweet 16 birthday parties once.

So when Kara asked me tonight if I’ve ever seen “The Bachelor” I had to say I haven’t. I know the premise of it but I just can’t get interested in a show where women meet a guy and vie for his proposal in just a couple of weeks. Kara said she’d just put on the premier of the new season and they began the show by bringing out two of the contestants from last season’s show and that they were angry at the guy. Then all the new contestants were coming out to meet the guy and one came out and slapped him “for all of America.” Okay. Since Kara didn’t know what happened at the end of last season she was asking if I knew. I didn’t so I Googled it for both of us. I was curious.

It didn’t take but a few minutes for me to find the answer to the question. While I was searching, though, Kara kept calling out that all the women were commenting on what this guy, Brad Womack, had done to the two contestants from last season. She was really curious to know what he’d done since it seemed to be a huge issue with all of these women. Okay, so I found out and I don’t get it, but maybe I’m missing something.

I thought the idea of this show was that these women are supposed to get to know the guy, and vice versa, and that he is to gradually weed out those he doesn’t like by giving roses to the women he wants to continue on the show. I may not be exact but I think I’m pretty close. Then he is supposed to whittle the group down to two final contestants and, on the season finale, give a rose to the one he wants to marry. Well, this guy, Brad, is back for an unprecedented second season because of his “mistake” at the end of last season.

Folks, maybe it’s just me but I don’t see what Brad did wrong. According to everything I read tonight in my search, at the end of last season he told the two final contestants that he didn’t want to marry either of them so he didn’t give either of them a rose. Then he walked away still single. Why is that a mistake? If he wasn’t interested in either of them, why in the world would he commit to one or the other only to have the relationship break apart within the next couple of weeks? Seems to me that he made the best choice for himself and the women involved. Why is everyone so angry about this? I don’t get it.

Maybe there are behind-the-scenes issues that I don’t know about, or maybe there are production issues that Brad was supposed to take into consideration. I don’t know. Did these women lose money from the show because neither of them was picked? Were they each promised endorsement deals by outside companies if they were chosen as Brad’s new fiancée? What gives? If Brad didn’t want to marry you, so be it. I wouldn’t want to be engaged to anyone who didn’t want to marry me.

To make matters worse, Kara was telling me, on tonight’s show Brad kept apologizing to all the women who brought up the issue, telling them how sorry he was and that he’s a changed man. Why is Brad apologizing to anyone? He has no reason to apologize; he made a choice and that’s that. If the two contestants from last season can’t handle the rejection, maybe they ought to keep their personal lives personal rather than broadcasting on television for all to view. The way I see it, Brad did what Brad thought was right and that’s what matters. It’s his choice and nobody has the right to make him feel like he made any sort of mistake.

Whether Brad’s decision from last season was staged for ratings, or whether it was his honest choice, the rejected need only move on with their lives and get over it. Don’t make the guy feel bad for what he did, or didn’t do. Had the rejection not been televised, would America still feel the same way about him? Oh, not at all. Why? Because nobody but the two involved would know about it. Get over it, people, there are worse things in happening in the World; Brad rejecting two women he didn’t want to marry is not a big issue. Maybe you should be angry at the women for actually putting themselves in that position in the first place. When they signed on to the show they took the risk of being rejected; and now they’re making a big stink over not being chosen to marry a man they hardly knew. Such a shame, but then, this is why I don’t watch reality TV. The unreality of it all just irks me.

Until next time…peace to all.

Last Night's Blog

I tried to post last night but, for whatever, reason, the posting page wouldn’t load to let me post. So I’ll just post last night’s blog tonight. I had to take Zach to the dentist yesterday. He had a baby tooth that was being pushed sideways by the permanent tooth. It was a top front one so it was bothering him when he ate – poking at the inside of his lip. He asked me for days to take him to the dentist so today I finally got him an appointment. He was just happy that he got to get out of school early.

I picked him up at 11:30 so we could get there early and fill out all the paperwork. While we waited he did all of his homework. Then we got called back. The assistant discussed the issue with me and took an x-ray. Then she handed Zach the remote control for the TV in case he wanted to change the channel. I’m still amazed that dentists now have televisions for the kids to watch while they wait. I never got that but it’s a bonus when the kid is getting cranky and wants to go home before seeing the dentist.

Anyway, the dentist finally came into the room and talked about the problem with me. Just to sidebar for a second, this dentist is oh-my-God handsome, and about my age. Nice, right? Nah. Unfortunately, he’s also married. If he wasn’t married he’d be gay, because that’s just my luck. Back to the story now. He looked at Zach’s tooth and said it wasn’t really a problem. He said the permanent tooth would gradually push the baby tooth out as it grew. I was just concerned that the baby tooth, which was jammed against the tooth next to it, would push all his other teeth out of alignment. The tooth was pushed so far over that it looked like he’d already lost a tooth, that’s how big the space was. The dentist said it wasn’t a problem, though, and said it was Zach’s choice as to whether or not the dentist pulled the tooth or not. Zach decided to get it done because it was bothering him.

We’d been through this before when one of his bottom permanent teeth was growing inward rather than upward. The baby tooth was pushing forward but wasn’t coming out. The dentist we saw in MO for that tooth just used a swab to put some numbing gel on Zach’s gums, then she laid the swab sideways behind the tooth and had Zach bite down on it. It just punked the tooth right out of his mouth, lickety split. No pain, nothing. I figured this one would be a little harder since the baby tooth was barely loose. I was right.

The dentist did put the numbing gel on Zach’s upper gums but then pulled out a needle and started shooting Novocaine all around the tooth. Zach was a little uncomfortable with it and held the assistant’s hand. He did say “ouch” a time or too but that was about it. When the dentist was finished with the Novocaine, he had to wait until the area was completely numb before starting the extraction. He told Zach to rinse his mouth and spit. None of us really explained to Zach that he wouldn’t be able to feel his lip so, when he went to spit, he completely missed the basin even though I’d slid it under his chin. The look on his little face was hilarious and I couldn’t help but laugh.

Now, when I say I laughed, I mean I laughed so hard I had tears running. I couldn’t help it. He just looked so adorable trying to hold the water in his mouth to spit out the little bit of blood the needle caused. The dentist and the assistant laughed too, just not as hard as I did. While the assistant was getting paper towels to clean the floor, I got myself together and slid over by Zach – my chair had wheels – so I could chat with him. At that point he started laughing so hard he almost couldn’t breathe. They were actually amazed at him for his attitude during the process. I jokingly asked the dentist if he’d put some laughing gas in the needle too. Of course, he said he didn’t but we did chuckle about it.

He checked Zach’s mouth to see if it was numb enough and he went to work on the tooth. I couldn’t watch that part because it makes my teeth itch to see something like that taking place. I can watch surgeries in progress; I just can’t watch anything having to deal with teeth being pulled. I don’t know why; please don’t ask. So I just sat and turned my head while the assistant used the suction tube and the dentist talked to Zach as he pulled the tooth. I happened to look just as the tooth came out. Then the dentist stuffed a piece of gauze in the space in Zach’s mouth, gave him a few instructions, shook my hand, discussed having all three kids in for check-ups, and he was gone.

The assistant, a very pleasant girl, sat next to Zach to explain all the dos and don’ts he’d have to follow for the day. She gave him an envelope filled with new gauze, a tattoo to match his shirt, a sticker with his name on it that says, “Zachary was a g-r-r-r-r-reat patient today,” and his tooth in a little plastic tooth that was on a necklace-type of string. Zach listened to all the instructions, we said our goodbyes, and were out the door. He was such a trooper through it all and I couldn’t be more proud of him. His lip was fat from the Novocaine and all the pulling and pushing the dentist did, his nose and lip were numb, his mouth was full of gauze, he could barely talk, but he was still smiling. What a great kid.

He was excited to show his new toothless space to his brother and sister and will be even more excited to show it to his class tomorrow and tell them the story of his dentist adventure. He’s even getting his picture taken tomorrow. Since we weren’t here at the beginning of the year, the retakes are tomorrow. He can’t wait to smile his smile for the camera. He’s also excited to get his dollar from the Tooth Fairy – who had already visited, by the way, as I was writing this last night at 10:00 – so he’ll have as much money as Tyler.

So that was our dentist story. I still laugh when I think of Zach’s face after the Novocaine injection. I can’t help it. If you’ve ever had a kid go through something like that, you know what I mean. I would never laugh if it was something serious like surgery, but a simple tooth extraction and his first time having his face numbed just struck my funny nerve. I can remember the one and only time I had Novocaine. It was one of the weirdest experiences I’ve ever had so I can relate to how Zach felt. It was funny and I’m sure we’ll laugh at it for a long time to come. Right now I’m going to laugh myself into bed to get some rest. Maybe I’ll have some really funny dreams. You never know.

Until next time…peace to all.

Blog won't let me post tonight, sorry. I'll be back tomorrow.

Speak Up, Please

Last week my kids asked me if they could call a couple of friends from Missouri; the twins who lived across the cul-de-sac from us – Mindy and Mandy (not their real names). I said they could so we called last Friday evening. Their mom answered the phone and said the girls weren’t there because they were with their dad for the holiday break. We chatted for a few minutes and I told her we’d try to call again on Sunday. They don’t have long distance phone service so it had to be us calling them. Sunday came and went but we didn’t get to call them. We tried again on Monday but Kara was on the phone so we didn’t get the chance. All I’ve heard from my kids for days is, “When can we call Mindy and Mandy?” Finally, tonight after dinner, we sat down to call them.

I got my phone book and put the phone on the kitchen table on speaker phone – that’s the way the kids wanted it – so they could all talk together. Before we called I set down the rules: take turns talking; don’t be rude to each other; no fighting, yelling, tantrums, etc.; make sure everyone gets a chance to talk. They use the phone all the time to call their dad so the rule review was just a formality. Anyway, I dialed the phone number and it rang. Remember, I said earlier that my kids have asked me repeatedly over the past few days if they could make this phone call. Suddenly one of the twins picked up the phone on their end and I couldn’t believe what happened. Not one of my kids said a word; they all just stared at the phone like they’d never heard anyone say “hello” in their lives. Are you kidding?

Before the twin hung up, thinking the call was a crank, I said hello, told her who I was and asked which twin she was. “This is Mindy.” So I started chatting with her. I told her my kids wanted to call and say hello. “Say ‘hello’ guys.” All three spoke in complete unison, “Hi Mindy.” Mindy asked which of the boys had spoken so I said they both talked at once, that they sound very similar on the phone. Then I asked her how her Christmas was and what she did (even though I already knew). She responded politely – Mindy was always the polite, but really quiet twin – and told me they’d been with their dad and that Christmas was fine. My kids still hadn’t moved. They sat there, staring at the phone, giggling at the sound of Mindy’s voice. It was almost like I’d just invented the phone and they couldn’t believe what was happening. I had to keep coaching them.

“Gee, I wonder what my kids did for Christmas.” Then Ty spoke up and told her that they’d gone to their dad’s house for Christmas also. Mindy asked which boy was talking so Ty spoke up again. Thank goodness. Finally Zach said something; he told Mindy that he got a Nintendo DSi. I was amazed; Zach had a voice. He never shuts up but put him on the phone with a girl he’s known for over three years and suddenly he’s dumbstruck. What is up with that? I thought maybe that would be enough but it wasn’t; I had to continue coaching. “Who’s your teacher this year, Mindy?” “Do you like her?” On and on we went with me asking her questions and then asking the boys the same questions so they could at least appear to be conversing with her. Dolly, however, just sat there smiling and not saying a word.

Finally Mindy said that Mandy – the more open and talkative twin – wanted to talk to my kids. Mandy got on the phone and just started chatting. When there was a lull in the conversation my kids froze. So I had to throw out a question. My question would get Mandy talking up a storm; but my kids barely said anything. Finally they loosened up enough to carry the conversation themselves. YEA!! Then Dolly wanted to ask Mandy something but told me, in my ear, that the boys wouldn’t stop talking so she could ask a question. I politely asked Ty, Zach and Mandy to hold the conversation so Dolly could talk. Believe it or not she whispered to me that I had to ask the question. Oh, good grief. I asked the question for her and she was happy.

The conversation continued with the three kids just talking and Dolly repeatedly asking me to ask Mandy something, which I did. At one point Zach was trying to say something to Mandy but couldn’t hear her – Ty and Dolly had decided that dancing was necessary – so Zach took the phone down here where there was less noise. Ty and Dolly followed and I went outside to take out the garbage. By the time I came back into the house, all three kids were down here getting really loud and Zach was playing a “Big Time Rush” song on the computer for both Mindy and Mandy to hear. He said that he wanted them to hear the whole song and not just what was played during the opening credits of the show.

This was getting to be too much. They went from being non-responsive to overly-animated. They’d been on the phone for half an hour so I decided that it was long enough. I told Zach that he had another two minutes and then he had to tell the girls I said my kids had to get off the phone. I told him to ask the twins to tell all the other neighborhood kids ‘hello’ and that they would call again real soon. So Zach did what I instructed: “My mom says we have to go. Please tell everyone we say ‘hello’ and we’ll call…uh, Mom, they hung up.” Alrighty then. I don’t know if the girls hung up by accident or if Ty and Dolly were just so loud that Zach couldn’t hear the twins say ‘goodbye’ before they hung up the phone.

Regardless, what happened next floored me. Dolly started screaming and throwing a tantrum saying that she didn’t get a chance to talk because Zach and Ty did all the talking. I thought she was kidding at first but then realized she was completely and totally serious. I couldn’t believe my ears. I told her she needed to stop the tantrum because I’d asked her umpteen times to speak to the girls but she’d refused. She was really upset that she didn’t get to talk. So, to stop the tantrum, I told her she could be the first to talk to Mindy and Mandy the next time we called. That made her happy but I’m willing to bet next time will be a repeat of this time.

I’m just glad my kids got to talk to their friends. I’ve got friends from when I was Ty’s age so I know the importance of keeping in touch. I hope my kids can build those same kinds of friendships with some of their friends. If it takes me coaching them through a few phone calls until they get the hang of it, so be it. I think it’ll be okay the next time, though; we’ll just have to practice a little. If not, I’ll have a couple of really, really young friends in my future. :-)

Until next time…peace to all.

Gimme Back My Money

I don’t get it. Over the past couple of months I’ve applied for different credit cards to try to rebuild the credit my ex trashed. I keep getting turned down with each new application. No biggie; I’ll just keep trying. What’s been happening lately, though, is puzzling. Every time I go to the post office to check my mail, I’ve got “pre-approved” credit applications in there. Granted, I know I’d still have to get approved by the company and that won’t happen. Why, then, are they wasting money sending me this crap when they obviously know I haven’t been approved by anyone else? I have gotten those “pre-approved” letters in a long while. Just because I’m applying now and getting turned down means they all have to send me this other stupid shit? Stop wasting my time and your money.

I told that to my insurance company, too. I won’t mention Geico’s name; I’ll just say it’s a really well-known company. When I got back to NY and found out that my insurance rates had more than doubled, I wasn’t too happy. The reasoning was that NY is a place where getting into an accident is highly likely. Okay. But then they send me all this bullshit that I don’t need. At least twice a week I get a notice from them asking my opinion on something or updating me on my billing status or some other non-essential information. When they sent me a survey asking how I was handled by their customer service department, I completed it. In the section where I was asked how I think things in the company could be changed, I told them to stop wasting money sending me all this useless crap and lower my rates. I know they get a bulk rate on mail but all the administrative work that goes into it must cost something, right? Save the money and pass the savings on to me. Now there’s a novel idea.

While companies like that are wasting my money, there are others that are stealing my money. Not that the insurance company isn’t stealing my money, but retail stores (Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Kohl’s, etc.) are really stealing my money. I don’t like Kohl’s and don’t shop there if I can help it but Kara and I did some of our Christmas shopping there because we had really great coupons and gifts cards. Since I’d spent as much as I did I was rewarded with $20 in Kohl’s Cash that expired on 1/1, so I had to spend it. I needed a pair of slippers with a hard sole on them so I can wear them outside. I got to the store, found what I was looking for and noticed the price tag said $20. Okay, I could pay the tax.

Then I saw a sign above it that said the slippers were whatever percentage off because of the sale that was happening. With tax they would have been around $14. Cool, I wouldn’t have to pay anything for them. Even better. I get to the register and the kid rings up the slippers. They only came to $9 and change. I didn’t realize, until then, that there was an additional discount. I always love to find that something I’m buying is on sale. When I get to the register and that discount shows, I get giddy. I don’t like surprises but those I can handle. Anyway, it got me thinking. If Kohl’s can sell all those slippers for only $9 and change during a sale, why can’t Kohl’s sell them for that price all the time?

No, don’t say, “Because if they sold them at that price all the time they’d lose money.” No they wouldn’t. With the mark-up that stores put on items, there is no way in Hell that any store would lose money by marking down its items on a regular basis. The dollar stores, maybe. But I’m talking about the big stores that we all frequent. Stop bullshitting me and charge me a fair price for an item. If you lower your prices, I might shop there more often. And I’m not just talking about Kohl’s.

Wal-Mart has gotten out of hand with its prices lately. I think I’ve mentioned it before that I love Wal-Mart and usually end up spending more than I need to when I go there. But I was looking for something online the other day and went to one of those comparison web sites. Wal-Mart had the third highest price for whatever item it happened to be at the time. Seriously? Wal-Mart is supposed to be fairly priced and lower than the competition. They always have been. Why, then, am I finding that I can get those same items at other store for a lot less than Wal-Mart is charging? It’s because people are getting greedy. The way it stands, I may not be doing any shopping ever again.

I have no problem paying for something, as long as I’m not being ripped off. Today, though, everyone is out to make the most money at the expense of the consumer. And it’s being said that the recession is over and gone? I don’t think so. When I don’t even want to shop at Wal-Mart because of the price hikes, there’s a problem. Maybe from now on all my shopping will have to be done online so I can make a better comparison of products and shipping costs. I don’t like shopping anyway, so online might just be the best way to go for me.

If stores had preferred customer cards or something where I could get great discounts all the time, I might consider them. Until then I’ll just have to do what I can until companies realize that customers are the ones who keep the stores open. Drop the prices, do better business. I just don’t think corporate people get the hint; and I’m in no position to tell them all how I feel. Perhaps just one or two and others will take the lead. Nah, it’ll never happen. I’ll just have to stick it out for now and hope for changes for the better. Maybe you can hope with me to get the changes to come about faster. Let’s try, shall we?

Until next time…peace to all.

This Is My Life

I didn’t intend to blog tonight because I’m really tired. I was up at 4:30 yesterday morning because I had some things to do; and I didn’t go to bed until after 3:00 this morning because I was celebrating the change into the new year and talking to great friends on the phone. I really want to get some sleep right now but I feel I need to say something here first.

This year I intend to live my life on my own terms; and I don’t care if you don’t like it. See, I’m tired of trying to do the right thing simply because it’s expected of me by people I don’t know, and who don’t know me. I’m tired of all the judgmental idiots making their comments about the way I live my life. Nobody has the right to judge me for anything, especially when nobody in this world is perfect. Until you are perfect, keep your thoughts and your opinions about me to yourself. I’m sure there has been a time or two in your life where things haven’t gone the way you’ve wanted them to, and I’m sure you’ve made mistakes, and I’m also sure you haven’t always handled the effects of those times in the best possible manner. Just because I’m not handling things in my life the way you think I should does not give you the right to “should” all over me.

I’m sick of the Bible beaters telling me I need to find religion and God and all of that and only then will I be truly happy. Okay, sure. Does that mean that you walk around completely and totally happy all the time regardless of what’s going on in your life? I don’t think so. I’m betting you have your bad days too. Get over yourself. You’re no better than I am and my not believing the same things you do doesn’t mean I’m any less of a person than you are. Maybe “finding God” gave you a better lease on life, and that’s fine, but I’m tired of hearing about it. I don’t discuss religion for the basic reason that my views are my views and your views are your views. Let’s keep it that way.

I’m going to live my life the way I feel is the best way for me and if you don’t like it, that’s fine. Feel free to express your opinion to me. As I tell my kids, you can say whatever you want to me as long as you say it politely and respectfully. However, if I don’t suddenly jump over to your way of thinking, don’t you dare tell me how wrong I am or what I need to be doing. Nothing gives you that right. I don’t tell you how to live your life and you certainly will not tell me how to live mine. Until you become me, you have absolutely no way of knowing what’s going on inside of my head or why I do what I do. I don’t claim to know you; you can’t claim to know me, especially when you’re not a part of my daily life.

So that’s how it is, like it or not. This is my life and I’ll live it however I see fit. As long as nobody is getting hurt in the process, I’m going to continue doing things the way I’ve been doing them. You don’t like it, don’t read what I write, turn your head, or just don’t be a part of my life. I won’t take offense but I will damn well stand up for what I believe. If you take offense to that, so be it; that’s your problem to deal with, not mine. Starting today I’m choosing to be me regardless of what you think or say. The people who really know me know what I stand for and why I do what I do. That’s all I need. As Dr. Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”

Until next time…peace to all.