Last week my kids asked me if they could call a couple of friends from Missouri
I got my phone book and put the phone on the kitchen table on speaker phone – that’s the way the kids wanted it – so they could all talk together. Before we called I set down the rules: take turns talking; don’t be rude to each other; no fighting, yelling, tantrums, etc.; make sure everyone gets a chance to talk. They use the phone all the time to call their dad so the rule review was just a formality. Anyway, I dialed the phone number and it rang. Remember, I said earlier that my kids have asked me repeatedly over the past few days if they could make this phone call. Suddenly one of the twins picked up the phone on their end and I couldn’t believe what happened. Not one of my kids said a word; they all just stared at the phone like they’d never heard anyone say “hello” in their lives. Are you kidding?
Before the twin hung up, thinking the call was a crank, I said hello, told her who I was and asked which twin she was. “This is Mindy.” So I started chatting with her. I told her my kids wanted to call and say hello. “Say ‘hello’ guys.” All three spoke in complete unison, “Hi Mindy.” Mindy asked which of the boys had spoken so I said they both talked at once, that they sound very similar on the phone. Then I asked her how her Christmas was and what she did (even though I already knew). She responded politely – Mindy was always the polite, but really quiet twin – and told me they’d been with their dad and that Christmas was fine. My kids still hadn’t moved. They sat there, staring at the phone, giggling at the sound of Mindy’s voice. It was almost like I’d just invented the phone and they couldn’t believe what was happening. I had to keep coaching them.
“Gee, I wonder what my kids did for Christmas.” Then Ty spoke up and told her that they’d gone to their dad’s house for Christmas also. Mindy asked which boy was talking so Ty spoke up again. Thank goodness. Finally Zach said something; he told Mindy that he got a Nintendo DSi. I was amazed; Zach had a voice. He never shuts up but put him on the phone with a girl he’s known for over three years and suddenly he’s dumbstruck. What is up with that? I thought maybe that would be enough but it wasn’t; I had to continue coaching. “Who’s your teacher this year, Mindy?” “Do you like her?” On and on we went with me asking her questions and then asking the boys the same questions so they could at least appear to be conversing with her. Dolly, however, just sat there smiling and not saying a word.
Finally Mindy said that Mandy – the more open and talkative twin – wanted to talk to my kids. Mandy got on the phone and just started chatting. When there was a lull in the conversation my kids froze. So I had to throw out a question. My question would get Mandy talking up a storm; but my kids barely said anything. Finally they loosened up enough to carry the conversation themselves. YEA!! Then Dolly wanted to ask Mandy something but told me, in my ear, that the boys wouldn’t stop talking so she could ask a question. I politely asked Ty, Zach and Mandy to hold the conversation so Dolly could talk. Believe it or not she whispered to me that I had to ask the question. Oh, good grief. I asked the question for her and she was happy.
The conversation continued with the three kids just talking and Dolly repeatedly asking me to ask Mandy something, which I did. At one point Zach was trying to say something to Mandy but couldn’t hear her – Ty and Dolly had decided that dancing was necessary – so Zach took the phone down here where there was less noise. Ty and Dolly followed and I went outside to take out the garbage. By the time I came back into the house, all three kids were down here getting really loud and Zach was playing a “Big Time Rush” song on the computer for both Mindy and Mandy to hear. He said that he wanted them to hear the whole song and not just what was played during the opening credits of the show.
This was getting to be too much. They went from being non-responsive to overly-animated. They’d been on the phone for half an hour so I decided that it was long enough. I told Zach that he had another two minutes and then he had to tell the girls I said my kids had to get off the phone. I told him to ask the twins to tell all the other neighborhood kids ‘hello’ and that they would call again real soon. So Zach did what I instructed: “My mom says we have to go. Please tell everyone we say ‘hello’ and we’ll call…uh, Mom, they hung up.” Alrighty then. I don’t know if the girls hung up by accident or if Ty and Dolly were just so loud that Zach couldn’t hear the twins say ‘goodbye’ before they hung up the phone.
Regardless, what happened next floored me. Dolly started screaming and throwing a tantrum saying that she didn’t get a chance to talk because Zach and Ty did all the talking. I thought she was kidding at first but then realized she was completely and totally serious. I couldn’t believe my ears. I told her she needed to stop the tantrum because I’d asked her umpteen times to speak to the girls but she’d refused. She was really upset that she didn’t get to talk. So, to stop the tantrum, I told her she could be the first to talk to Mindy and Mandy the next time we called. That made her happy but I’m willing to bet next time will be a repeat of this time.
I’m just glad my kids got to talk to their friends. I’ve got friends from when I was Ty’s age so I know the importance of keeping in touch. I hope my kids can build those same kinds of friendships with some of their friends. If it takes me coaching them through a few phone calls until they get the hang of it, so be it. I think it’ll be okay the next time, though; we’ll just have to practice a little. If not, I’ll have a couple of really, really young friends in my future. :-)
Until next time…peace to all.
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