Kids Are Good For A Laugh Sometimes

You remember that show, “Kids Say the Darndest Things” that was hosted by Bill Cosby? Well, the past couple of days over here have been like that. We’ve been laughing constantly because of the kids and what they’ve said. I just thought I’d share a few of the highlights.

Last night at dinner, Kara and I were there with all five kids and Kara’s new beau. We were all sitting at the dinner table just talking about basic stuff and Beau started asking the kids about the different holidays here. Beau’s from Europe and still has trouble with English so we try to speak a little slower so he can keep up with the conversation. Anyway, during the course of the conversation, Zach said something about being able to speak a different language and asked me if, when he gets older, I would teach him to “speak the language like the people in England speak.” I couldn’t help but laugh, as did Kara and Beau. Then I explained to Zach that the people in England speak like Mary Poppins, and it’s English. He thought for a second and said, “Oooh, okay.” Then he laughed at his mistake.

Shortly thereafter he said something silly again, about our friend Sylvia only being half Indian (she’s full-blooded Choctaw), and I told him his Polish was showing. My ex is Polish – hence the ‘ski’ at the end of our last name – and he always makes jokes about himself when he makes a mistake. He calls himself a dumb Pollock. (No, I’m not being prejudiced or derogatory in any way, shape or form. These are just comments that are said within my family, about my family. I don’t need to hear anyone complaining to me about anything I’ve said here. Please and thanks.) So Zach asked me what I meant by his Polish showing and I explained that, when he does something silly, it’s because of his Polish side, just like his dad. He laughed out loud at that. Then Kara told a very cute, very simple Polish riddle, and, when she revealed the answer every kid at the table understood but Zach’s response was, “I don’t get it.” We all laughed at that. His Polish was definitely showing then.

Moving forward to tonight. It was dinner time again and we were all at the table, as usual. Kara made a really good kielbasa dish with sauerkraut, apples, and brown sugar. All the kids were complaining about not liking the food when they all eat it all the time, just not made the way it was tonight. So they each had some kielbasa and a little bit of the sauerkraut to try. None of them liked the sauerkraut but they all ate the kielbasa. Dolly was eating hers straight off the fork. She’d speared it and was just nibbling but I had to take all the sauerkraut off first. Finally I got annoyed because she was complaining about every stinking little piece of sauerkraut on her kielbasa. I grabbed the kielbasa off her fork and shoved it in my mouth to suck the sauerkraut off of it. Then I handed it back to her.

Kara and Beau were laughing at me because, well, they’ve got dirty minds. Kara actually said, “Please, not at the table,” to which I replied, with a big grin and since I don't have a man in my life, “It’s as close as I’ll get any time soon.” Just then, her oldest son, Big Boy, who hadn’t been paying attention when I did what I did asked, clear as day, “What, did she suck off the kielbasa?” That comment right there was enough to make me leave the table before any of the kids saw how hard I was laughing. What’s even funnier is that Big Boy didn’t have any hidden meaning to his question; it was an honest kid question, just poorly worded, through no fault of his own. We couldn’t even explain why we were laughing, either.

We all had a couple of good laughs over these comments, though, and maybe you did too. Sometimes they’re not as funny if you’re not there when they’re said but I’m sure you can handle it. I think I’m going to keep track of what they say all the time so I’ll be able to share them with the kids when they’re older. I think they’d like that and I hope you enjoyed tonight’s stories.

Until next time…peace to all.