Today was a good day. I didn’t have any funked up dreams; I actually had a dream that someone had an apartment for the kids and me at a subsidized rent. The people were only renting it for extra pocket money so it was something I could afford. Then I got an email this morning from a woman responding to my Craigslist ad who may actually have a place for the kids and me. I’m not going into too much detail right now because I don’t want to jinx it but it looks like something possible. I’ll write more when I know more.
Then Ellen and I took the kids to a street festival over here, aptly called “In the Streets.” It’s in downtown Frederick and a lot of the businesses have booths set up outside their shops, the streets are closed to traffic, and there are lots of activities for everyone to enjoy. It’s like a neighborhood block party for businesses to advertise their wares. The kids did some coloring and got little giveaway items from the different booths; Ellen and I checked out the scenery as we walked with the kids. The weather was beautiful – mid 70s – and we all had a good time. It was really crowded, though, and we did a lot of walking.
We came home late afternoon and I made some dinner for us; then Ellen and I went to a local restaurant/bar to see her friend Tom perform. He played acoustic guitar and sang; it was really enjoyable. The music was great, not too loud, and Tom did an excellent job. This place wasn’t too crowded which made it even more enjoyable. Sonny stayed home with the kids, which I really appreciated. I put them all in the boys’ room watching a movie, hoping they’d fall asleep rather quickly after all the exercise they got today. According to Sonny, they didn’t fall asleep right away but they didn’t give him any trouble, either. Nice. I wish they were that way with me.
The show ended about 10:30, we chatted for a short while afterward, then headed home. I watched a bit of TV and here I am; replaying the day’s events for you. I’m tired, my back hurts from all the walking I did today, I’m munching on sunflower seeds, and trying to decide whether or not to watch a movie on Netflix before I go to sleep. I know I won’t see the entire thing but I don’t feel like reading. Dolly is asleep in her brothers’ room so I may actually get to have my bed all to myself tonight. That would be nice; a special treat just for me.
If she stays in the other room I know she’ll be in here first thing in the morning to make sure I’m actually back like I told her I’d be. That’s okay as long as it’s not at the butt crack of dawn. It probably will be so I’ll just have her climb in my bed and snuggle. Maybe she’ll be able to fall asleep for a bit longer; then Mommy can fall asleep for a bit longer. We’ll see how it goes and I’ll fill you in later. For now, though, I’m outta here so I can try to find a movie to begin watching.
Until next time…peace to all.
Where Have I Been?
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It's hard to believe it's been so long since I've posted anything....but
that's how I roll. It's been about a year. So much has happened in a
year. Some...
11 years ago
I was looking at Thursday's post, which seemed positive. You had alot of good things happening on Thursday. And then one day later....Friday's post. WOW! I didn't know what to think. What happened between Thursday night and Friday night?
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that we need to count on oursevles the most, on certain occassions. I know that life has kicked your ass many times......just as it has done to me. But when life is beating up on us, we don't have to make it worse by beating up on ourselves.
I know, it's the kettle calling the pot black! I totally know that. I've learned alot by going to therapy. This week in therapy we discussed free will. God has given us free will, or if you want to look at it differently, the Universe has given you free will. Free will gives you the choice Beth. You have the control. The problem with that is that too much of the time, we make choices based on our emotions.
I think the post you wrote on Friday was based on emotions from the shitty day you were having. Want to know how I know this? I have a few things to tell you.
First, you are a loving, generous, honest, and beautiful woman. You don't give yourself any credit for the wonderful qualities you have. You are a good mom and you are a good friend. You may not be ready to be in a romantic relationship right now, but it can happen for you someday. When you least expect it Beth, the Universe is going to dump him right in your lap. That's what happened to me with Scott. And when I met him, I was going through some really bad shit with a guy I'd been seeing.
On to my next point. Friendship. I know you've been screwed over by friends, family, men! But please don't give up on friendship. You have to know that even though we don't have a conventional friendship, I am your friend. If you lived close to me....well it would all be different because I do care about you. You don't realize that I think about you and the kids all the time. I wonder how you are doing and I'm praying that your dreams are going to come true. I worry about you, and I do that because I care.
I know it's easy for someone to sit here in another state and say how much they care. But I wouldn't lie to you...I care about you and your kids. I wish I knew what I could do to help you right now.
Do you know that even when I'm not online for a few days or even a week, I always go to your blog and go back and read through every single entry you make. I don't comment on all of them, but I read every single one. I do that because I want to know what's happening in your life and how you are doing. It would be great if we had the time to sit on the phone for an hour every day and chat, but it's not in the cards for us. Between us, we have 7 kids. We are busy moms, and just wait until you start working...you'll be happy when you're able to squeeze a 3 minute shower in each day.
You have made some choices recently. I think only time will tell if they were right or wrong. But what could you do? Sit there in MO and wonder and beat yourself up for not trying to make your life better and your kids life better?
When I ready your post tonight, porbably from yesterday, I could see positive again. I'm glad I did. I was on last night to post to my blog but I spent too much time reading and re-reading the last couple of posts you had...trying to figure out what had happened....that I never posted to mine, lol. I don't mind, not at all. I just kept thinking....what did I miss here.
Anywho, I've given you enough of my two-cents worth. Please don't ever feel that you are alone. I know we don't have the ideal friendship...if it was ideal we'd live in the same neighborhood and we'd be sharing a coctail right now,eh? So, we'll make do with what we have. That's what friends do.