Empty-Headed

It’s 12:30 in the morning and I still don’t have a topic for tonight. I could just skip it but then I feel like I didn’t do enough on my to-do list; or I feel like I forgot something important. I’ve got my sunflower seeds, which, by the way, are difficult to come by here in Maryland – at least in the area I’m located. All I can find are these 5.25 ounce bags. Nobody carries anything bigger. In Independence, at Sunfresh and Hy-Vee I could get bags four times this size. I think they knew I was coming and did away with all the larger stock. Ellen calls it the “sunflower conspiracy.”

Anyway, I’ve got my portion of seeds and have almost finished them; I’ve got water; and I’ve got my Winamp playing my very eclectic variety of music – anything from the 70s and 80s up to today, rock, country, pop…I’ve got it all. What I don’t have is anything interesting to say. I did spend some time reading Tracy’s posts. She’s the “Dieting Mom in Chaos” I follow. Her link is on my page. She had some really great stuff after not being here for about a month. One post in particular really pulled my heart strings. I’ll say it here too: Thank you, Tracy; I love you. Still, I’m at a loss for anything to discuss.

My kids just started school last week, and they get four days off in September: Labor Day, Rosh Hashanah, Primary Election Day, and Fair Day. Fair Day is on September 24, the last day of the County Fair, and the kids get the day off from school to attend. How cool is that? In Independence they didn’t get the Jewish holidays off; the schools were used as polling sites while school was in session; and I don’t every recall any Santa-Cali-Gon Day where the kids got out of school to attend the fair. It’s held Labor Day weekend so maybe that’s why. (If you don’t know what Santi-Cali-Gon is, you can go here http://www.santacaligon.com/ to read about it.) Then again, the kids started school in early-mid August and let out mid-late May, depending on snow days. Here they start late May and end mid June. I’m actually used to this schedule since it’s the one I followed when I went to school in NY; or pretty close to it, anyway.

That’s one of the reasons I want to work from home, though. If the kids get days off during the month someone has to be at home with them; they can’t stay alone. That person is me. I’m not relying on babysitters or daycare. If I can get some freelance paralegal work going, and I know I will, I’ll be able to work around their school schedules. This year will be especially hard since Dolly gets out of school at 12:30. I’m trying to get her in an out-of-district afternoon pre-school but am having no luck so far. I was going to call the District today (the two pre-schools have said she can’t attend) to ask someone there if circumstances would permit Dolly to attend out of district, but I forgot. It is on my to-do list for tomorrow (later today) so I’ll do that when I get home from dropping her off at school. If she can’t attend, I’ll just have to make sure that any running or research I have to do away from home gets done before I bring her home. I can do it; I’m used to rearranging my schedule.

I’m sure, tonight anyway, that things will work out the way I want them to in the end. It just gets so frustrating and disconcerting to always be waiting and wishing and hoping for things that are out of my reach and/or control. I’m just getting tired of stressing; I don’t want to do that any more. If one good thing would happen, I’d have a little faith that everything was falling into place. I have a couple of things to do while the kids are at school so maybe I’ll get lucky and will get good news from one of them. I’ll let you know what happens. Meantime, I’m going to bed to possibly dream happy dreams and get some positive Universal input.

Until next time…peace to all.