A Dog Of A Different Kind

I’m always talking about the negative crap at the shelter but there were some good times, too. I’ll get to the government money issue another time because my daughter, Dolly, sparked a memory for me today and wanted to share it. I’d posted on December 12, 2011 and titled it “A Dog Tale” and this story kind of ties in with that one. You’ll see why in a few minutes. It’s one of those stories where you really had to be there to understand the humor, but I bust a gut every time I think about it. Maybe you will, too.

A day or so after the backyard dog incident Lisa and I had some errands to run one day while our kids were at school. Our dinner hours ran into one another so we decided to just feed all our kids together. We needed to go buy groceries so we headed out to the local supermarket but first Lisa needed smokes and I had to get gas. We went to the local BP gas station and she ran inside while I pumped the gas. Just as I finished and was putting on the gas cap a Jamaican dude came up to me with a box full of new socks.

He was selling them and was pushing me hard to buy some, “Six for $10,” or something like that. I needed socks but had no cash on me whatsoever. I told him that repeatedly but he just kept showing the socks to me. I guess he’d seen me drive in with Lisa because as she came out the door he looked at her and said that Lisa had cash and I ought to borrow some from her. I told him no and started to get in the van. Meanwhile, Lisa was just glaring at him and opening the passenger door to get in, too. I told the guy that the next time I had cash I’d buy some socks from him but that Lisa and I had to leave.

We drove off, left him standing there, and headed off to the supermarket about three blocks away from the BP. On the short drive Lisa was telling me the dude with the socks had met up with her inside the mini-mart and tried to sell her shoes – used shoes. Lisa had told him she didn’t want any so he’d gone outside to try to sell me the socks. We just laughed at the fact that he was selling used shoes – gross.

We walked around the store picking up stuff for dinner for a few nights and headed to the check-out counter. We both paid for our items and headed out the door. Just as we got to the exit we saw a big recycle bin the store keeps there for people to throw out soda cans and whatnot. On top of the bin was a box of old shoes. I made a joke about the store selling shoes and Lisa looked at it. She stopped and gasped, “He’s here.” I asked her what she meant. She said the box was the same box the Jamaican dude had when he was trying to sell Lisa the shoes. Oh goodness. We had to get out before he saw us.

Let me just tell you, we’d bought a lot of groceries so we were loaded down with plastic shopping bags. Lisa had seven or eight bags and so did I, and they were heavy. We headed out the door and toward my van and we scanned the parking lot for the dude on the way. We looked to the right; nope, he wasn’t there. We looked to the left; he was there. Gotta get away quick, before he spots us. Oops, too late. He was us and headed into our direction. We took off running as fast as we could. We weren’t scared, just didn’t want to be harassed by this dude trying to sell us socks and used shoes. We were actually laughing as we ran, or trying to run.

All the bags were weighing us down so we weren’t exactly running; we were more like toddling and waddling at a quick pace. We heard the dude yell after us, “Hey, wait…” I just yelled back, “We gotta go, sorry.” And Lisa yelled, “Sorry, pressed for time.” Did she actually say “pressed for time”? Yes she did. That got me laughing really hard. We kept waddling toward my van and finally got in and drove away, all the while with the dude still trying to get our attention with his socks. Whew, we made it.

As we were driving we were laughing and talking about the dude’s persistence. I said it was funny that we were chased by the four-legged kind of dog and the two-legged kind. Lisa agreed he was a dog and spoke as if she were him, “HEY! BUY DEEZ SHOES! {WOOF WOOF WOOF}!” Just the way she said it and the suddenness of the comment made me bust out laughing so hard I could barely see through all the tears pouring from my eyes. I couldn’t breathe and neither could Lisa. We were laughing so hard we couldn’t talk. It’s a good thing I was driving on a quiet side street because we’d have crashed otherwise.

We laughed like that for about five minutes and if you’ve ever laughed that hard you know the effects of it. We had tears running down our faces, our noses were leaking, our stomachs hurt, and we couldn’t breathe. Holy crow, it was funny as all get out. Every time we thought about Lisa’s comment from that day forward we started laughing all over again. That’s what happened this morning. Dolly mentioned the Jamaican dude to me today as she pulled on a pair of socks I’d eventually bought from the guy months later. She asked me if I remembered him and I said I did. Then I thought of Lisa and me that day and busted a gut laughing all over again.

I texted Lisa the line she’d said that day and she texted back that she’ll never forget it. I could tell she was laughing about the same way I was. My kids kept asking me what was so funny but I just told them I was thinking funny thoughts. In my mind I could hear Lisa laughing too, her lovely, melodic laugh that always made me smile. So being in the shelter wasn’t always a bad thing. I’m still friends with Lisa and her daughter, as well as four other women and their families that I met there. I love them all and have more stories like this one that’ll come out in time. No worries.

Until next time…peace to all.