This is going to be quick tonight. I was in my room around 10:00 and was going to upload some photos that I took of the kids today at the park. For whatever reason, my computer and the Internet were both running extremely slowly so it took me well over two hours to upload, edit, and post my photos to Facebook. Now I’m really tired and want to go to bed. Nothing very exciting happened today, anyway. I’m in an extremely deep funk that I can’t get out of at this moment. That happens when I realize I’ve fucked up every plan I made and know that I can’t go back and change everything. Whatever, I’ll get over it. I’m used to disappointment in my life after 43 years.
I did take the kids out to lunch, and then to the park. They loved it there, especially playing on the spinny thing. It’s a small merry-go-round. I took some pictures while they played just because I like taking pictures; and I watched them enjoy the day while I tried to get un-funky. It didn’t work but the kids had a great time so I’m happy about that. They had more fun when we got home and all of them went to bed almost when I asked and, I’m assuming, to sleep shortly thereafter since I didn’t hear anything from them once I closed the boys’ bedroom door. Dolly did decide she didn’t want to watch a movie with them after all and came out of there room, but the boys have been completely quiet since I put them in their beds. Dolly was up a little bit with me but actually climbed into bed on her own and fell asleep. Fresh air does that to kids.
They’re off tomorrow – today – for the holiday, and then they’re off again on Thursday. I mentioned these already. Tomorrow we have a couple of things to do but nothing extremely major. I’ll get everything done that I need to do, and then some. I just hope I can get un-funky soon. Perhaps, if the Universe wants to help me in that endeavor, some proof of existence in the form of assistance would be greatly appreciated. My words have already been put out there so the Universe knows exactly what I want; I’m not repeating myself. I am just really tired of being screwed over at every turn. If I get screwed any further into the ground, I’ll be up to my neck in dirt. Again, I’m used to disappointment so I’m not really expecting anything in the form or help or proof. PUNK’D!!! That’s me. That's probably why I'm in my funk. I’m going to bed now, though, so I can have some more fucked up dreams – probably all with negative analyses, too. I’ll let you know when I do.
Until next time…peace to all.
Where Have I Been?
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It's hard to believe it's been so long since I've posted anything....but
that's how I roll. It's been about a year. So much has happened in a
year. Some...
11 years ago
You WILL get un-funked! You made a HUGE change Beth and things aren't going to be perfect the second you get there. I know that's not what you expect, not at all. I'm just saying, give it some time because things are going to work out for you.
ReplyDeleteI had a couple of posts to catch up on because I wasn't on over the weekend. You seem so sad right now and you're questioning your decision to move aren't you?
Look, all we can do in life is make the best decision for our family that we can based on the current information that we have.
If you had stayed in MO, you would be regretting that like crazy. Your move came together for a reason, ok. Things happen for a reason and there is a plan for you. I know our religious beliefs are a little bit different, but you have to know that there is a plan for you and for your family. The bitch of that is....not knowing when the doors are going to open....not knowing when something good is finally going to happen....not knowing when things are finally going to go your way. It's called life.
You have your kids and your health! Be thankful for that. There is something very good in the works for you, even though you don't know it yet....something good is just around the corner and you will get to that corner.
I was all sobbing in my soup over something not too long ago and Scott reminded me of my friend Jeanne. She is the one who's son Luke was killed a year ago in Afghanistan. 19 years old and he gave his life for his country. Two of my friends from school passed away in the past year. One of them from colon cancer and she has two young children. He reminded me that life isn't always perfect, and to be thankful for the things we do have.
I'm thinking about your day out with your kids. It sounds like they had a great time. Hold on to that, ok.
I know I've got very little room to give advice on this stuff. You know that I tend to be negative and I overreact to everything. I just want you to know that the universe takes care of good people like you. Sometimes, the universe just takes it's damn sweet time doing it.
Love ya
Tracy
I WILL get un-funked? That's so funny; definitely a Mom comment. :) I'm doing my best to get un-funked but it's hard when things aren't anywhere near where I want them. Every direction I turn is being blocked by a huge, brick wall; or, should I say, more oil is being poured down the well and I'm doing double time to keep going around it. If the Universe would just let the wall clear up a tiny bit, I'd feel better. You know it's hard to cough up good feelings when they're being smothered. I'm working on it.
ReplyDelete