That's So Annoying

I posted something on Facebook tonight that I thought was pretty funny. Yesterday, when I was helping Dolly put on her shoes and socks her quick wit showed itself. Right after I got her shoes on, I started turning down her socks – they were little anklets that had a design on them. She asked me what I was doing and I told her, “Fixing your socks.” She looked at me with a big grin and said, “How did they get broken?” What a little wiseass she is? She definitely gets that from me. Not only did I find it funny, but I thought it was really interesting that she used the sarcasm in the right context. She knew her socks weren’t broken, but she also realized “fix” means to repair; then she made a joke out of it. It definitely reminded me of me.

I often use that same line when someone tells me they’re “fixing” dinner, or supper, or lunch, or whatever meal is on the horizon. “You need to fix it? Is it broken?” My grandmother used to say that to me. She’d get ready to go to the kitchen and tell us, my sister and I, that she was going to fix our dinner. I could never figure that out because I didn’t understand how dinner could be broken. I was young but I wasn’t four like Dolly is, and, NO, I wasn’t 25 either. The idea of fixing a meal just seemed odd to me. Still does. If it needs to be fixed every night why don’t you just make it right the first time? Doesn’t make sense, does it?

Lots of things people say don’t make sense to me. A big one is when someone says, “Really?” after I’ve finished telling them something. “I just had the best burger I’ve tasted in a long time.” “Really?” “Uh, nope; I made it up just for you.” Yes, really. Why would I be telling you if it didn’t “really” happen? It’s even worse when they say “really” after I’ve said something unpleasant. “I just passed a three-car pile-up on the LIE and it looked like someone might have died.” “Really?” Why would anyone make up something like that? I generally don’t go around saying shit just for the sake of saying it; and I certainly don’t go around saying shit for pure shock value. Granted, nobody has used the “really” comeback to me in a while; but I bet it’s still out there somewhere, just waiting in the wings for me.

Right up there with “really” is “thinking outside the box.” To what box are we referring, folks? I heard that expression back when I was still working, the last job I held before I gave birth to Tyler. It’s been around for, at least, the past nine years – probably longer if I cared enough to research it. People have been thinking outside the box for a while now and I’m wondering what’s going on inside the box if nobody is in there anymore. Why did we go outside the box anyway? Were all the ideas in there old and stale; not worth thinking anymore? Had they become useless or undependable? I don’t think do. I’m not even sure how or why the expression developed. I just know it’s a really irritating expression and someone needs to put a lid on it. Get it? “Put a lid on it”? Put a lid on the box? I’m cracking myself up over here. I’m just too funny sometimes.

Since we’re going to try to do away with that one, let’s also do away with the ever popular, although not amusing, “See you next year” when we depart company of someone just before New Year’s Eve and who we won’t be seeing until after January 1st. You know what I mean. Say New Year’s Eve is on a Saturday and you’ve got Friday off from work but will be returning on Monday. As you and your co-workers are leaving the building someone inevitably yells “See you next year!!” Hardy-har-har. Gee, didn’t see that one coming. Anyone who says that should be slapped upside the head, along with whoever asks, “Is it hot (cold) enough for ya?” “No, it’s only 102˚ outside. Another 20˚ and it’ll be just perfect.” Why do people think they’re being funny when they say things like that? Honestly, if it’s that hot, or cold, I’m too cranky to want to deal with stupid jokes. Maybe we could put those expressions in the box before we put a lid on it.

I’m sure I could think of dozens more examples but I don’t think I need to. Right about now you’re probably thinking of expressions that bother you, and saying, “Yea, that really is an annoying expression.” You may even be guilty of using some of them yourself; we all are. I’m sure I’ve used many expressions that annoy others, and I may have even asked “Really?” a few times in my lifetime. I try not to, though, because I know I don’t like it. I just find them annoying but interesting, and often wonder how they developed. I also wonder why people don’t always think before they speak to realize how silly their words are.

Maybe if we pointed it out to people they’d take notice and would concentrate more on what they say before they say it. It does work. I remember I had a boss once, at the aforementioned “think outside the box” company, who used the word “dude” constantly. He was 34 then, and he called everyone “dude” all the time. I mentioned it to him and let him borrow my copy of the movie “Baseketball” where, if you haven’t seen the movie, the two lead characters have an entire conversation using only the word “dude.” My boss watched the movie and was amused, but shocked and embarrassed, that he used the word as often as he did in daily life – and he stopped using it from that day forward. Really? No, I made it up just for you. Yes, really.

Until next time…peace to all.