I'll Be Back on Friday

After tonight’s post I won’t be back until Friday. Tomorrow morning Comcast is coming to disconnect me and pick up their equipment so I’ll be without computer and TV for a couple of days. The kids will have movies to watch on the DVD player and I’ll have my cell phone but that will be it until Friday. That’s sad. I’ll feel like I’m out of touch with the world for those couple of days. I won’t be able to Facebook, Myspace, Tweet, Skype, or email. I could just write but that won’t do me much good since none of you folks would be able to read it. Silly me.

Tomorrow morning the last of the last will get packed. I told the kids they won’t be able to play with their toys for about an hour so I can take stock of what is what around here. Once the final items are boxed and ready to go I’ll be able to tell what goes where and so on; then the kids can have something to do. I’ll even do one final load of laundry to get it all put away so I’m not behind on it when I get to Maryland. I’ll just have one little bag of the towels I use Wednesday night and whatever minor clothing items are used last minute.

We’re picking up Paul tomorrow afternoon. I have to remember to call the airport to make sure his flight is on time. I hate having to wait at airports. I hate having to wait anywhere on anything. My neighbor is going to get my fuel filter changed in the morning, I’ll gas up and get ready to drive to KC, and we’ll be ready to go. Paul already suggested having some lunch then packing the truck so it’ll be ready to go on Thursday morning. I thought I said that already but I’ll let that be his idea. I’ve enlisted the help of a friend so packing the truck shouldn’t be too difficult.

The people that were supposed to buy my dining set backed out today because they thought I lived in KS rather than MO. Apparently I’m too far away for them to drive to get a table and chairs. Another lady inquired about it right after the others cancelled but the second lady hasn’t gotten back to me. I may be taking the set with me to sell in Maryland. I don’t want to but I may not have a choice in the matter. Maybe someone there will appreciate the bargain they’ll be getting.

I just finished cleaning the stove and will get the counters and bathroom tomorrow. I can’t vacuum until everything is moved and I’ll have to borrow one since mine doesn’t work. Heck, I may not vacuum at all. I’m still waiting on a proper sliding screen door. Mine doesn’t have a lock nor does it stay on track. Management put in the work order two years ago this past April and I’m still waiting. Perhaps I’ll make them wait for me to vacuum after I leave. That sounds like a plan, right? Works for me. I’ll see how ambitious I feel tomorrow evening and I’ll let you know the verdict over the weekend, if I remember to post about that one item. If I forget, feel free to remind me.

In any case, I’m going to sign off for now and will be back in about 72 hours, give or take an hour or so. It’s going to be a great trip and I’ll take some pictures and post them if I can figure out how to do that. Maybe Tracy can help me when that time comes. I hope you all spend the next three days laughing at life, and waiting with bated breath for me to reappear to regale you of my road trip. I’ll see you in a couple of days.

Until next time…peace to all.

Almost Ready

Just a quick update tonight because I’m beat. I spent all day packing up odds and ends; the kids’ rooms; suitcases; the kitchen; pretty much, everything. I even finished up all the laundry today. I’ve got a laundry bag in the bathroom for whatever we wear over the next couple of days. I have all my clothes set aside for the next three days and the kids are all set. I’ll do one more load of laundry Wednesday morning, before we pick up Paul at the airport and I’ll be done with it. The kids’ clothing is being moved in their dressers so whatever gets washed will just be put away where it belongs.

I have a couple coming to buy my dining set tomorrow, too; not for my asking price but it’s money nonetheless. Every little bit helps. I also got another call today, from the attorney of a company that screwed me over a few months ago. He’s willing to settle my complaint, for more than I was asking, so I feel good about that. Things are just working out all around now. I’m happy.

I didn’t get to run any of the errands I wanted to run today, but the kids and I did go to the supermarket. They have kids meals for the next couple of days rather than me having to cook when I don’t have any room left in the kitchen. Tomorrow I’ll run to WIC to get the letter I need closing my account, then I’ll go get some picture boxes. That’s the last boxes I need and I’ll be finished. Come Wednesday morning I’ll be all set to go, just waiting to pick up the truck later in the afternoon. Comcast is coming sometime between 8:00 and 1:00 so I’ll be off the computer that morning but will pick up again Friday; unless Ellen feels the need to update anytime in between.

So here I sit after a long day of non-stop doing and I just need to relax. I colored my hair a bit ago just to get rid of the grey, and I showered since I haven’t in over 24 hours. I see no reason to shower when I’m just going to get dirty, sweaty, and grungy immediately following my exit from the shower. Since tomorrow’s stuff shouldn’t cause too much exertion I figured a shower tonight would be just the thing to help me chill. Besides, I couldn’t color my hair without showering; have to rinse the stuff off my head. Now, though, I’m going to sit on the mattress-that-became-the-sofa and watch a little TV until the kids fall asleep. Then I’m off to bed. I can’t wait.

Until next time…peace to all.

It's Only Sunday and My Head Hurts Already

The rest of this week better be more pleasant than the past couple of days have been. You all know about yesterday; today wasn’t much better. I got into an argument with Paul because of the way he treated Zach over the phone. Without going into details, Paul seems to think that he can treat the kids like shit when he disagrees with their choice or when they don’t take his advice. That’s the kind of shit my mother used to do to me when she didn’t like my choice; guilt me into feeling bad and apologizing for nothing. Well, I didn’t let Zach feel bad, but I did tell Paul that he can’t do that to them. Kids have rights to and are allowed to make choices of their own regardless of whether or not we parents agree.

So then he switched to martyr mode: “Okay so I get to be the bad guy again.” What the fuck!? When has he ever been the bad guy? I’m the one instilling all the rules and discipline; I’m the one who gets the evil eye when consequences come into play; I get the attitude, the back talk, the threats, the ‘I hate you’s, and all the rest. He’s always the good guy because, as the kids say, “Dad loves me because he buys me what I want.” Now that’s sad if you ask me. But Paul set up their relationship that way so he can deal with the consequences of it when the kids actually see him for who he really is.

Anyway, I’ve got a cold, from the kids, so I’m feeling like crap – clogged head and nose; sore, hoarse throat; cough, and all that fun stuff – so I really didn’t feel like dealing with his bullshit today. He even threatened to take away the move: “I’ll pull this move so fast you won’t know what hit you.” Go ahead jackass, you’re only hurting yourself. DUH!!! I didn’t say that to him but I did tell him to go ahead and pull it; that I didn’t ask him for help moving, it was his idea. I told him that I was willing to wait until next year but he said he’d take care of it so he need not try to hang it over my head that he’s doing most of the work to get us moved. It’s actually the least he can do – helping with the move – since he’s the reason we’re out here. I won’t say that out loud, though.

So, after he got done saying what he needed to say and trying to upset me – which didn’t work, by the way – I guess he spoke with his pseudo-babe and told her I was being mean to him, blah, blah, blah…I didn’t even raise my voice, which was really funny. Regardless, I don’t know what happened in his world but someone must have said something to him that made him think about what he did because he called back later in the day – sounding remorseful – and wanted to talk to Zach, but Zach was busy playing with friends and didn’t want to talk. Sucks for Paul, doesn’t it? Then he emailed me to ask about a video game the kids wanted; probably didn’t call because he figured I didn’t want to talk to him. Poor baby. When I emailed him the name of the game he responded with a “Thank you” and that was that. He’s on the phone with the kids now, saying good night so I’ll see what his attitude is like when they’re done talking.

Three minutes later: Apparently he’s in a better mood and was okay with Zach. They talked for a few minutes about whatever and Zach said Paul wasn’t yelling at him again. Well, that’s nice. I also explained to Zach that he is allowed to make choices that his dad and I might not like, and that nobody has the right to make him feel bad about those choices. He feels better now and that’s that. The kids are in bed and I’m on my way. My throat hurts and I can barely talk; my nose is itchy and leaky now; and my sinuses are throb-b-b-b-b-b-ing. I’ll feel better in the morning, though. I spend a lot of the day sneezing so I know the cold is working its way out of my system. YEA!! I am going to bed now, though, and I know tomorrow will be better than today and yesterday combined. I’ve got a lot to do to finish up details before Thursday. I have to feel better whether my body wants to or not. There is no choice in that. :)

Until next time…peace to all.

Thicslose To No Faith

The Universe and I are at serious odds again. I am so irritated today that I can’t even stand it anymore; and I’m not getting any help from the so-called Higher Power that’s supposedly out there watching over us and helping us through our problems. Today It/He/She’s not helping; not helping me anyway.

This morning Dolly was outside playing with her friend who is also four. They were in a side yard playing with the friend’s wagon. Suddenly Dolly walked in the house telling me that Pete – you remember him, the neighborhood bully I discussed back in May – had put gum in her hair and spit on her, and had spit in her friend’s wagon. I was angry at what he did simply because he’s a shit. The gum was right at the top of her head, too, near the part in the middle, so I was really unhappy about that. I marched Dolly over to Pete’s house and pounded on the door with an open hand to get his mother’s attention. She came to the door and I told her, not too politely either, to get her son in the house because of what he did. She told me not to tell her what to do to which I replied that, if she didn’t call him in, I’d call the police like DFS instructed me to. She told me to go ahead and then she said, “He’s a kid; deal with it!!” Fuck you, bitch!!! A ten year old has no business picking on a four year old. I looked her right in the eye and told her that I don’t have to deal with it but that she needs to teach him to keep his hands off of other kids. Her response was to tell me to fuck off. So I responded with a, “SHUT UP, BITCH!!!” “Come here and make me…” I’ll come over there and make you eat your own fat fist, you fucking wretch. (I have another word in mind but it’s really inappropriate for this space.)

I came home and called 911 explaining that it wasn’t an emergency but that I was doing what DFS instructed me to do with this kid. The dispatcher agreed that he had no business picking on my daughter and would definitely send a car to take a report. Shortly thereafter two officers arrived, looking so extremely similar that I actually asked them if they were related, and, when they denied it, I asked if they were sure. Honest to gosh I thought they were twins. Anyway, they listened to me and then went to speak to this fat, sloppy, bitch. I could hear what she was saying and she actually stood there in front of her son and lied to the police telling them that I had almost broken her door down trying to get at her, blah, blah, blah… Are you fucking serious?!!! Nice example to set for your kid. No wonder he is the way he is. Go find a double-wide and some teeth, bitch. I’ll buy you a deep fryer as a house-warming gift.

The officers came back over to me as I was trying to remove the gum from Dolly’s hair and just said, “This is the deal, next time you see him outside, bring your kids in the house.” WHAT!!!! Did I hear that correctly? They said that, the next time they got called here because I had words with that bitch they would have to write up a report and turn it in to the management office. Go the fuck ahead; I don’t give a shit. Let them know what a piece of shit that bitch really is. I told them that I don’t care about a report since I’m moving on Thursday but that I was doing what DFS told me to do with this kid. Office #1 said that the problem was solved then, since I am moving, and officer #2 said that it was better to bring my kids in since they probably don’t want to be around Pete anyway. I told them that I won’t bring my kids in because it’s not fair of them to have to go inside just because that bully was around; and that his mother needs to keep him on his own side of the street. They wished me a good day and left.

Then Dolly’s friend’s mother came over to find out what had happened and if she had heard them right about bringing our kids in the house. Yep, she heard right. Since neither of us agrees with them I decided that I’ll go to the precinct to get incident reports from the times I had to call them here about Pete and will file a complaint at the management office myself. Then I’m going to call DFS and let them know what’s been going on with this kid so they can add it to the report. Basically, the police won’t do anything but want us to give the bully the run of the neighborhood. The fuck I will!!!

So that ticked me off immensely but my day went forward. I reposted my furniture ads but haven’t had one response to any of them today. Not one. The Universe is telling me I’m on my own with this shit but I’ve exhausted all my options at this point. I’ll be forced to carry the table and chairs with me and to bust the shit out of everything else I’ll be putting at the dumpster. FUCK MY NEIGHBORS!!! I will not give away anything to these losers. My irritation just grew from that point, and it’s still growing.

Dolly decided she wanted to go to lie down but I told her she had to go to bed since it was already after 5:00 and I didn’t want her falling asleep on the sofa. We went up to my room and the TV, that had already been on its way out, stopped working altogether. Just another dig from the Universe. “Stupid bitch; hear us laughing now?” So I plugged it out of the wall and carried this monstrous piece of crap down the stairs and deposited it on my front porch in full view of my neighbors, in the pouring rain. Then I went down to the basement to get the spare TV I had – one that my former neighbor Kim had given me when she moved – and put it in my room. I get it plugged in and the cable converter connected but then I couldn’t find the remote control. I had just had it in my fucking hand trying to get the other TV to work. I got the remote from Dolly’s room but couldn’t find batteries to put in it. I had taken them out when I packed her room. I finally found some batteries and got the TV working properly but still needed to find the other remote since Comcast will be retrieving it on Wednesday and I’m not paying $50 to replace it.

I was really getting sore at the Universe because all I wanted to do was find a simple piece of equipment that didn’t walk away by itself. I was pissed and letting the Universe know it. I finally, after about an hour, located the remote. It had fallen down into the corner of one of the boxes in my room that I still have open. It has my clothing in it so I’m not taping it up just yet. So, I reprogrammed the original remote to work the TV and the converter, took the batteries out of the second remote and put them in my pocketbook, and returned Dolly’s remote to her room so I’d know where it was. I was still pissed because then I had to go to the porch and carry that seriously heavy TV to the dumpster all by myself. It was fucking heavy, too. I hurt my elbow – again – and probably reinjured my back. It was just starting to feel good today but I have no clue what it’ll feel like when I wake up in the morning.

So things finally settled down a bit, but I was still having words with the Universe. I need my furniture sold before I leave and I’m not putting any faith out there anymore. I got this move going by myself; the Universe had nothing to do with Paul offering to help us move. That was me. The furniture that did sell so far was because I placed ads, not because the Universe suggested that anyone buy my stuff. It didn’t step in when I needed help dealing with Pete, his mom, and the shithead cops in this neighborhood, either. Want to repeat to me now that I need to keep the faith? I dare ya; I triple-dog dare ya.

So I’m sitting here writing this post when Zach comes in and asks if he can go to a different-but-near cul-de-sac to hang with his friends. Dolly wants to go, too, so I asked Zach who was there. There was only one kid I really am not fond of so I gave him the go-ahead as long as he kept an eye on Dolly. He agreed. Not five minutes later they came in with Zach asking if he could go to the cul-de-sac behind us. Gee, Zach, who’s going to be there (because I really don’t like the kids who live in that one)? He tells me, “Okay, I’ll tell you the truth. I was there with C and D, but Pete and L are starting a fight with so-and-so; but I’m not in the fight…” This was definitely a case of mother-interruptus. “No, Zach, you won’t be going there. Pete is out there so you can hang in our parking lot or the living room but you won’t be out of my sight.” I explained to him that I don’t need him anywhere near Pete so that his fat-piece-of-shit mother can put any blame on him or any of my kids. I don’t want the po-po showing up at my door telling me my kid had no business being around Pete, and so on and so forth; yadda, yadda, yadda; blah, blah, blah… Zach wasn’t happy but I don’t care. I don’t like Pete, I don’t want my kids anywhere near Pete, and, if I was permitted to, I’d beat Pete’s ass the way it needs to be beaten. Since I’m not his mother, though, I have to keep my hands to myself.

Anyway, that’s been my day, up to this moment. It hasn’t been pleasant, and I’m really pissed off at the Universe for not stepping in to offer any help or advice on any of my issues today. Guess what? I’m done now. I want a mother fucking miracle or I’ll be done with all the “believing” bullshit. I don’t want to hear that I have to wait, that things will come in time (I’m about out of time), that I have to have faith… I’m sick of hearing it, and I’m sick of believing and not getting any results. Whatever happens, happens because of me, not the Universe. You think differently? I want proof, good solid proof. That’s who I am, that’s what I require. No proof, no faith. I can handle it, can you?

Until next time…peace to all.

I Can Relax Too

This morning my friend Kim took me to breakfast at Denny’s. It was lovely. The two of us sat there eating and didn’t have to listen to the sounds of children; it was just us eating and talking and laughing but not having anyone to take care of for that short while. When we were finished we decided to do some errands just to extend our “quiet” time. We ran to get her paycheck, to Walgreens to pick up a photo I ordered for Zach, to K-Mart to buy diapers for Kim’s infant son, and then to Wal-Mart to cash her paycheck. We left the house at 9:15 this morning and didn’t return home until 12:45 this afternoon. It was only 3 ½ hours but it was really nice. Nobody complained, or fought, or cried, or picked on anyone else, or any of that other ugly stuff kids do “just because.”

I bought all the kids – Kim’s and mine – a treat from Walgreens; and I bought myself a light pair of Capri pants to wear on the drive to Maryland. The kids will want the A/C on constantly but I know I’ll get cold after a while. I don’t want to wear long pants so the Capris will work fine. When we went to Wal-Mart I had to seriously restrain myself from buying anything at all. Imagine that. I went to Wal-Mart and didn’t spend a dime in there. Not that I didn’t look for stuff to buy; I just couldn’t find what I wanted so I didn’t give them any of my money. Good thing, too, because Wal-Mart and I have a very special relationship; I go in to spend $10 and it takes $100 from me. Go figure. Not today, though; I’m very proud of myself. (Patting me on my back.)

Once I got home I really didn’t do anything but watch more TV. I’m still waiting for my furniture to sell. Ty said he talked to the Angels and they said it would be a couple of days but that it would sell. I have to repost the ads again tomorrow so maybe Ty is right. We’ll see. I just really don’t want to have to drag it with me. The dining table and chairs is the piece I’m most concerned with selling. It’s the largest and most expensive. Like I said, if I have to, I will force it to fit in the truck and sell it once I get to MD. The rest of the stuff – the desk, the TV stand, and the bookshelf – I will destroy before I put them out for someone to just take them. I’ve had ads out for a month now and I refuse to just let them go. That might sound terrible of me but the way I see it is, if you wanted it so badly, you could have paid for it. I’m not asking a lot of money for anything but I’d rather bust the shit into unusable pieces rather than just let someone take my stuff for nothing. If I didn’t need the money I wouldn’t have placed the ads; so poo on you if you thought you were getting a real bargain from me. Not a chance.

While I’m waiting, though, I’ll get back to doing the stuff I could have been doing today – the laundry, the miscellaneous packing and whatnot. I didn’t do anything today so I’ll get to it all tomorrow. The laundry is caught up, now I just need to keep up with it and get the kids’ clothing that they want to take to Paul’s separated and in the suitcases. The toys will be re-packed and put back in the toy boxes, any errant clothing will be stuffed into dressers, and anything else I see lying around, other than kitchen items, will be put into an extra box.

I’m not shutting down the computer until Wednesday morning. Comcast will be here between 8:00 and noon to pick up the converters and the modem so I’ll have once last chance to check email, Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter before I sign off for the trip. I should be back online sometime Friday but I’ll ask Ellen to post updates for me while I’m on the road. Needless to say, I won’t be blogging those nights, unless the motel we stop in has free computer service. Then maybe I can get something out really quick. Otherwise, it’ll have to wait until I get there. Don’t worry, though, I won’t be posting a really huge blog about the trip. I’ll break it down and/or only post about the most important events. Honestly, do you really need to know what I watched on TV in the motel? You know what? You might. If I get a motel room that only shows the regions hot tourist locations on its TV, I’m definitely going to complain to you folks about it, whether you want me to or not. Hey, I gotta share, right?

I just can’t believe we’re so close to leaving already. I told the kids today that this will be their last weekend in Independence, MO and the last weekend they spend with the kids in this neighborhood (thank goodness). I’m not sure they really understand right now, but they will once they get back to MD after visiting their dad. On Monday we have to go to the boys’ school to get copies of their records and I don’t know if they’ll understand that it’ll be the last time they’ll be there. There are a lot of “lasts” taking place but also a lot of firsts and I hope I can help them understand that.

This visit with Paul will be the first of many, I hope. He should be able to get them, at least, once a month from now on. I just hope he actually does it and doesn’t make excuses not to get them. This move will be the first of our last three. We’ll go to Ellen’s, then move to our own place, then to our BIG house – the one I’ve been promising them we’ll have when I get out BIG money. That house will be the one they grow up in. This move will be the first of many positive experiences to come for all of us: I’ll be able to find work, they’ll be able to make new friends, we’ll all have less stress, we’ll all be happier… No, things will not be perfect, nor will they be 180° better immediately. It’ll take time but I’m positive things will be much better for us than they are here. I just have to help the kids understand that also. They will in time, but it’ll be hard for them in the beginning. We’ll just work together until things smooth out for all of us.

Right now, though, the house is all quiet so I’m going to enjoy some alone time and just sit and watch more television until I get the urge to go to sleep. That may be really soon but I want to sit down here for a short while and just enjoy the peace. It doesn’t happen often lately so I’m going to take full advantage of it while I’ve got the chance. I’ll be back tomorrow but, in the meantime, remember, temperature is relative and Odor Sorb makes a terrible cat litter.

Until next time…peace to all.

Last Night at PACT

The kids and I attended our last night at PACT this evening. I was fine driving there, started to cry when I got out of the van to walk into the building, I was misty for a few minutes, then I was fine. The door to the kids’ room was closed so I had the kids sitting with me in the grown-ups’ room until I could sign them in over there. When they opened the door there was a BIG hand-made sign on the bulletin board saying good-bye to all of us. That made me cry. I got over it and signed the kids in, then my friend Melody took some pictures of us. I’ll post them when she emails them to me. I returned to the other room and the meeting started as usual.

I went through the entire meeting, doing a bit of “Love and Logic” then our usual support during the second hour. Melody filled us in on her happenings since she hadn’t been there in a while; as did DeShelle. Then it got down to the Serenity Prayer. It’s something the group says at the end of the meeting each week. Of course, Melody had to remind everyone that it was my final night there and Julia, the group facilitator asked if I wanted to say anything. I knew I couldn’t without the flood gates opening so I just smiled and said, “Good-bye, Skype me in on Thursdays.” As the group was laughing we started the prayer but I didn’t make it one sentence in before I had to stop because the tears were choking up on me. I also noticed that Melody stopped. She couldn’t speak either because she was also crying. When the prayer was over I just looked at her and said, “Man, you suck!” We both were crying and laughing, and just hugged onto one another.

She’s going through some things right now and I just know it’ll all work out for the best for her. She’s a strong woman; a lot like me in personality. She takes responsibility for her own actions but won’t hesitate to let you know when you need to step up and do the right thing. Even though I’m moving so far away, we’ll keep in touch and I can still ‘be there’ for her if and when she ever needs me. I also got to meet Rakefet’s daughter tonight. She’s just the cutest little thing and was completely awed by all the new people she got to meet. Ty was in love with her from the minute she walked into the room.

Rakefet reads my blog, too. She’s one of the few I know do read it, so she’ll be able to see what’s going on with me once I move. Not that it’s ever that exciting, but you never know what will happen once I’m out of Independence. Rakefet, I wish you only the best and I know everything will be fine for you, too. Things always work out the way they should so I know you and Baby will be fine. No doubts in my mind. I hope to know you for many more years.

Julia, the group facilitator, is also leaving CAPA; her last day at PACT is next Thursday, so I can only guess that her last day at CAPA will be Friday. She and her husband are moving to Chicago. One can only imagine what Julia will do once she’s there but I know that, whatever it is, it’ll be great and she’ll have everyone around her laughing the way she did for us at PACT. She’s a pleasure to be around and I’ve enjoyed attending PACT with her as the facilitator. There was never a dull moment.

I’ll miss everyone there at CAPA but I know this move is the best thing for the kids and me. I could continue to live here in Independence but I’ll never get anywhere. I can’t have that. I have to be able to find work to raise my kids, and to advance my life instead of stagnating where I am, and the kids need to be able to visit their dad. None of that can happen here. The System will never let me go if I don’t make some drastic changes. Once I get the necessary changes made in my life, I fully intend to make some serious changes to the System. It’s seriously broken and needs some adjustments. Ellen and I will get it done – no doubts.

First, though, I have to sell the rest of my furniture so I can get the move made. A lady came and looked at my dining room set today but has “others to see” before she makes a decision. Then another woman contacted me about it so I had to let her know of the potential buyer, then I had to email the first lady to ask her to let me know soon because I need to contact the second lady. If someone would just buy it, I wouldn’t have to keep going through this. Please keep sending me positive vibes that the rest of my stuff sells before next Tuesday. I’ve already decided that, if the dining set doesn’t sell, I’ll make it fit on the truck and sell it in MD. Ellen made that suggestion but I’d already decided on that route. Great minds do think alike. Fuck, I was supposed to call her back this afternoon.

We were on the phone when Zach and Dolly both went into meltdowns to go to the spray park. I told Ellen I’d call her back but never got the chance. I took the kids to the spray park, and then we came home got changed and rushed out the door to PACT. By the time we got home they wanted to play outside for a while; then I put them to bed and started writing tonight’s post. Ellen will understand; I have no worries about it. I’m just ticked that I forgot; that means I’m trying to do too much. Tomorrow my neighbor Kim is taking me out to breakfast and her husband is going to watch all seven kids for a while. That’ll be nice for a change, actually getting to go out to eat without the kids. That hasn’t happened in I-don’t-know-how-long. It’ll be fun, though.

In one week we’re on the road so I’ve got to start wrapping up the small stuff and getting things organized and ready to go. Once I get back from breakfast I’m diving into the laundry again and then just doing the miscellaneous packing as I walk around the house. I’ve even started putting the kids’ clothing aside (the stuff they want to take for their visit with their dad) to put in the suitcase. This way I’m not bogged down with laundry next week. It’ll all get done, I have no worries. I’m keeping the faith, I’m keeping the faith, I’m keeping the faith…and now I’m going to bed.

Until next time…peace to all.

Nine Days Left

The boys had their last counseling session at CAPA today. Ty’s been going for over two years and Zach for a year-and-a-half. They both went in today to meet with Sarah for a half hour then she called Dolly and me into her office. She’d given the boys some gifts and had some for Dolly also. She also had a card for me from the staff at CAPA. I’ve been taking the kids there for the PACT meetings for over four years, now. Dolly grew up going there almost every Thursday night. The card was signed by all the staff and they said some wonderful things. I couldn’t help but cry. This is the hardest part of moving – for me, anyway. I think I mentioned that already in another post. When we attend the PACT meeting this Thursday, for the last time, I’m sure saying good-bye to everyone will be dreadful for me. Every time I think about it I get tears in my eyes; I can’t help it. It’s happening right now and it’s really hard to type when I can’t see the screen clearly. So let’s not talk about that for the time being.

I didn’t get any responses for my furniture today and I’m becoming really anxious about it now. I’ve got nine days before I leave and have to get rid of this stuff. Not only do I need the money, but I don’t have room to take it along. I’ve been praying but nothing is happening. I guess the Angels don’t know anyone who needs a desk or a dining room set either. I’m sure they’ll find someone and that it’ll be any day now. I’m keeping the faith – so to speak.

My back is feeling a little better but I still can’t stand completely straight. Healing sucks when it takes this long. I can sit, stand, and lie down; I just can’t maneuver once I’m in any of those positions, not without a lot of pain, anyway. My back will get better, it always does. This is just not the best time for it to be bothering me. I’m up and down the stairs constantly doing laundry and carrying the basket. It’s definitely no fun. Something’s gotta give, and soon – about my back and my furniture. I’m not going to dwell on either right now, though; I’m going to head off to bed and pray I get a lot of positive responses to my ads tomorrow. I know you’ll be sending positive vibes my way, too. Thanks, in advance.

Until next time…peace to all.

Back on Track

Since I haven’t posted in a couple of days, I’m going to do it early tonight. Last time I was here, I was having trouble with my back. I still am. The kids popped the right side back to where it should be but the left side, for the past two days, has been brutal. While I was making them some mac & cheese for dinner I pushed on my lower back until I was standing straight (which I haven’t been able to do) and I felt something sliiiiiiiide back into place. I think it did anyway, because it doesn’t hurt as bad and I can sit and stand without having to drop to my knees first. I do believe I’ve achieved success with the sacroiliac issue. YEA!!

I also sold my extra microwave today as well as the living room tables – the coffee and end tables. My moving fund is growing but still needs to get bigger. All I’ve got left is my dining set, my desk, my TV stand and a small bookshelf. I need them to go. I did have an inquiry today about the desk and even spoke to the interested party. He said he’d call back but hasn’t as of yet. Tomorrow I’ll repost my ads; I’m down to four now so that’s not too bad.

Tonight I’m having a couple of drinks to celebrate my sales successes, my back relief (and hoping the Vodka will help it feel even better), and our pending trip to the KC Zoo on Sunday. I have some tickets so we will take a friend with her daughter with us. If the weather is like it was today, over 100, I’ll just give her some tickets and I’ll take my kids either Monday or Tuesday when the Zoo opens. I’m hoping we can go on Sunday because it’ll be the last day I can spend with my friend before we move.

I can’t believe we’ve only got 10 days left before we hit the road. I actually started working on making this move about nine months ago; nobody responded favorably so it’s down to the nitty gritty now. I’m going to miss my friends, the few I’ve made; and I’ll definitely miss CAPA. That’s been the one and only constant in my life for the past four years and the one thing I hate to leave behind. Friends can always visit; CAPA can’t come to me. I’m trying to convince someone to hook up a computer in there so I can Skype in every Thursday but I think they think I’m kidding. I’m not; I’d love to still have that Thursday night connection. It won’t happen but it’s nice to dream.

Do me a favor, though, please. Send me some positive vibes so that I can get this last bit of furniture sold in the next couple of days. Once it’s gone I can organize my boxes into what goes to storage and what goes to Ellen’s. Then I’ll be doing laundry and packing suitcases; it’s all I’ve left. Send the vibes please and thanks; I really need them. Right now I’m going to sit and relax and watch some TV and have another drink. With a lot of positive energy, I’ll have more to post tomorrow.

Until next time…peace to all.

Another Quickie

I didn’t post last night and tonight’s post won’t be very long at all. Last night I had nothing to report and tonight my back is out and I’m in lots-o-pain so I’m not sitting here for too long. Yesterday I got all my utilities scheduled for shut-off, I got my car insurance in the process of transfer, and I sat on the phone with the MD DMV for almost a half hour to find out what it’ll cost me to get Morrison registered when I arrive. Things are moving along smoothly and I even have a lady coming tomorrow to buy my DVD towers. It’s not much money but it’s more for the fund and the pieces will be out of my house. I also think the lady for the living room tables is coming too. I can’t wait.

The heat index is supposed to be up around 105 tomorrow so I may have to wait until evening to give Morrison a tune up with my neighbor. I won’t be standing out there mid-day so we’ll either have to do it first thing in the morning or after dinner. Regardless, it’ll get done and I can’t wait. Just one more thing off my list. Since I got the oil changed on Wednesday, once the tune-up is complete, Morrison will be ready for the journey.

I’ve got a list of things to be done the first week I’m in MD, which just reminded me that I forgot to print out the direct deposit form from CSE. I need the form so that, when I get my new bank account ready, I can have my child support deposited into the correct account. I’ll print the form when I finish tonight’s post and put it with the rest of my paperwork. I want to make sure I have everything in one place so it’s handy when I need it.

I took Zach to the doctor this morning because he had a fever that just wouldn’t go away and he kept complaining of headache and sore throat. Doctor said there’s been a lot of it but tested him for Strep anyway. No strep, just a virus that has to pass on its own. Apparently he’s feeling much better, though, because he hasn’t sat down all day. When we arrived at home a couple of neighborhood girls were waiting to ask me if I was awake at 2:00a.m. and when I told them I wasn’t they regaled me with the story of my next-door neighbor being beaten by her boyfriend and running to another neighbor for help. Apparently the police were outside, as were half my neighbors. Why didn’t I hear anything when the victim and I share a common wall? Because she and her two kids (3 and 2 years) make so much noise over there that I’m used to tuning out what I hear. Besides, if I don’t hear voices/screaming I’m not going to think anything is wrong. Guess I missed all the excitement last night. I’m not too upset about it, though; the less I know, the better off I am.

So that’s it for today; nothing much to report. I am going, though, because my back is really hurting and I need to lie down for the night. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have something more interesting to say, but for now I believe I’ve covered the day’s events.

Until next time…peace to all.

A Quick Update

I need to figure out what I’ve got left to pack. I did the front closet today so I think I’ve just got to walk around the house looking at what’s left standing that shouldn’t be and put it in boxes in some sort of organized fashion. I can’t believe I’m so close to being finished. The rocking chair lady picked that up today and I got the oil changed in the van; so I basically broke even with that, but it’s okay, I’m still ahead. Now I’m waiting for the lady to pick up the living room tables on Saturday but I still have to repost my craigslist ads tomorrow – again. I gotta keep the items fresh; my desk and dining room table are still here and they’re the biggest items. They’ve gotta go.

I’m trying not to get bored now but I don’t know how well that’ll work for me. Zach and I tested the portable DVD player in the car today after it sat on the closet shelf for how many years already. It worked and we even found two bungee cords to hook around the van seats to hold it in place, the original strap broke long ago. If it hadn’t been so freakin’ hot outside today (110 with the heat index) we may have sat in the van and watched a whole movie. Testing it was enough, though so they’ll have something to watch while we drive across country. They’ll enjoy it and it’ll keep them from fighting the entire time. Plus, we’ll all be able to listen to and laugh at the movies. We should all be adequately occupied during the trip.

I’m tired today, but not exhausted. Dolly and I ran out first thing this morning to get milk and to see if Sunfresh had boxes. Boy, did they. I think I may have to give some back after I’m done packing; I may actually have too many now. I’m not complaining; I know I won’t have to stop working because I’m out of boxes. That’s too cool. I really am just down to the bare essentials now, though. I’ll probably get the linen closet packed tonight before I go to bed. See, it’s only 8:30 right now and Dolly is asleep and the boys are in their room. It was so hot today that they all wanted to go outside for a while after dinner, when it had cooled off ever so slightly. Then Zach threw a tantrum, followed by Dolly so everyone got to stay in the house. I sent her upstairs to get ready for bed and she fell asleep on my bed. I actually get to have the downstairs to myself tonight for a little while. YEA ME! Since I’ll be finished with this in a couple of minutes, I’ll have time to finish the linen closet and start under the bathroom sink. Hey, I’m excited even though you may not be.

In any case, since I really don’t have much reporting to do today, and my funny bone is on pause right now so I can’t really make you laugh, I’ll just sign off for now and let you get back to whatever it is that you do after you finish reading my blog posts. I hope it’s something interesting and that you enjoy. For all I know you get together with friends and laugh at my stupid bullshit. Hey, go to it; I’m not upset. I’m just glad you get to laugh. Maybe tomorrow I can make you laugh so hard you wet yourself. I just hope you’re home when it happens and not in a public place; that could really be embarrassing – for you, not me.

Until next time…peace to all.

Another Exhausting Day

If there is a word that means really, super, extremely exhausted it can be used to describe me right now. I have been going non-stop again today; this time it was the basement. I started with my books today; my texts, which I’m keeping; my fiction/non-fiction, which I’m keeping; and my Stephen King collection which I sold today and delivered to the buyer. YEA!!! We met in the parking lot of a restaurant and exchanged money for books. More money added to the fund. A lady is coming on Saturday to get my living room tables, and I had a guy inquire about my desk. Fingers crossed they both come through with the sales.

On Saturday my neighbor is going to help me tune up my van, too. I can’t wait to get that done; and I’m going to call Action Oil and Lube tomorrow to make an appointment for an oil change. Then the car will be all set; but I see that I’ve totally strayed from the topic of my basement. I said I started with the books but never continued with the thought. After I had the books all packed and labeled had Ty help me pick up garbage they and their friends had left all over the basement and all the toys they weren’t keeping. There weren’t many toys left down there other than outdoor toys – basketballs, jumpropes, Frisbees, and a couple of miscellaneous toys that all fit into a rubber bin. Then he and I started removing the garbage to the dumpster – numerous trips on a really hot, muggy day made for a lot of sweat.

After we finished with the front of the basement we started with the stuff under the stairs. What I am keeping went into the front corner with the rest of the stuff that was already there, plus the books; and the rest all went to the dumpster. Now my basement belongings, the stuff I’m taking with me, are all standing in the same corner of the basement, consolidated, and would probably fit in a large walk-in closet. A second YEA is in order here. That’s a major accomplishment for me.

Now the upstairs is done, the downstairs is done, and the main floor is all that’s left but really only the coat closet that I didn’t get to today. I’ll do that tomorrow. I need to run to Dollar General to get more boxes. I tried today but the mean manager who won’t let me have any boxes was there; the nice girl who told me to come on her shift wasn’t. I’ll see if she’s there tomorrow because I really need some big boxes for the coats and stuff. After the closet, I’ll basically just be putting together a box of sundries; stuff that is just lying around waiting to be packed because I’m not really using it but left it out “just in case” I needed it. Then it’ll just be waiting for that last week so I can pack the dishes, toys, and whatnot that we’re still using. I’m very close to being done, now. Woo Hoo!! Just gotta get rid of the rest of the furniture.

I finished the basement with barely time to spare before the boys had to go to counseling at 4:30. While I sat in the waiting room I almost fell asleep, that’s how tired I was. When we left there I had to drive to meet my book buyer and then we headed home for dinner. I had planned on making Chinese chicken stir-fry for dinner but changed my mind before we even left the house. I was just too tired. Instead, the kids had pizza, and I had hot dogs, which, by the way, is the best non-food ever invented. I could eat hot dogs for every meal. Then they wanted to go outside to play for a while and Zach had me throwing the football to him and his friends. He was getting annoyed with me because I was only throwing it 70ft instead of the 90ft I was throwing it last year. “C’mon Mom, you made it all the way to the other building last summer.” Gee, Zach, last summer I didn’t spend the day lugging 300lbs of boxes all over the place before we threw the ball around. Geez, he expects me to be SuperMom all the time. Sometimes I just need a break.

I finally got them all in around 9:00 and ready for bed by 9:30. I figured I could get my blog done and get into bed but Zach made up a “My stomach hurts” excuse so he could sit down here with me, and he keeps interrupting me so it’s 10:30 and I’m not finished yet. I will be in a minute, though because I’m running out of things to say (my brain is also tired from all the thinking I did today), and I just need some sleep. Zach seems to think I’ll be able to stay up and watch a movie with him tonight but I can almost guarantee that I won’t make the first twenty minutes of it. I feel bed but he’ll just have to understand.

So that’s my day; I’m tired but happy with all my progress. Each day just gets me one step closer to my goals. I’m trying to convince Tracy to move to Maryland instead of Montana. Her husband might not notice if she doesn’t tell him. Ellen and I have some pretty great aspirations and will definitely need help once we get rolling. We’ll have an office, Tracy and run a satellite office and Connie, up near Albany, NY can run another satellite office. Before you know it we’ll have offices all over the Northeast. If Tracy decides to go to Montana we’ll just have to branch to the West. We’ll see when the time comes. For now, I’m out.

Until next time…peace to all.

Productivity Abounds

I must say that today was a very productive day. The kids and I went food shopping to get meals and snacks for this week; we planned meals and only bought what we needed. I’m going to make sure I don’t have a butt load of food left over to move with us. I’ll keep what I want and the rest will be given away if we can’t get it eaten in time. I don’t want the hassle of having to move food across country; and I’m not packing a cooler except for snacks and drinks for the kids. I think I mentioned this in last night’s post. Maybe I didn’t. Heck, it’s summer; repeats are in now, right?

I got a couple of contacts for some of the items I’m selling. The lady who wanted the rocker finally got back to me today and said her dog had to be rushed to the vet over the weekend so she’ll come by tomorrow to get the chair. YEA!! Another said she wants the Stephen King collection and will get it tomorrow also; I’m not sure this one is a solid deal but I’ll let you know when I get the word. I had yet another asking about the coffee and end tables. She asked if they are still available but never responded when I told her they are. Maybe she’ll get back to me tomorrow, too. Then, I called a place named “Grandpa’s Furniture” that buys and sells new and used furniture. I called to find out what to do and the lady told me just to email pictures and George will call me to let me know if he’s interested. If he is, he comes to look at it, negotiate price, and he takes it away after writing me a check; I don’t have to deliver it. That’s cool. With luck he’ll like the desk and the dining room set; the two biggest pieces are the ones I need to get rid of now.

I also got all the upstairs closets packed today; each closet in the kids’ rooms and my closet. My upstairs is now 99% packed; all I have left is the remainder of the linen closet, the bathroom, and the stuff the kids are using daily. I was hot and sweaty all day doing that packing but I kept at it, non-stop. I called Ty upstairs, at one point, to hold a box closed for me while I taped and he said, “Mom, you’ve got some sweat on your nose,” as it dripped and landed on the box with the other 100 or so drops that were already there. He thought it was pretty funny. I did shower again tonight just to get the film off me.

My sister wrote on my Facebook wall wishing me a belated Happy Birthday. She said she’s been throwing up all week and hadn’t been online so she missed my birthday, and hoped it was wonderful. I politely thanked her and said my day was decent. Guess what? Even when I’ve got a stomach virus, I’m not completely incapacitated. I may be lying on the sofa, but I still get up to do for my kids. I guess that, since she’s got a husband, she doesn’t have to get out of bed if she doesn’t want to when she’s sick. I’m still thinking she could’ve picked up the phone between puking rounds to make a quick 30-second phone call to wish me a Happy Birthday.

Joe also called me today and regaled me with what he’s been doing since Wednesday. He’s had a friend visiting from out of town so they’ve been hanging out together and, on Saturday, he went out to lunch and to a movie with his potentially soon-to-be-second-ex-wife. I asked if lunch started at midnight because my birthday lasted for 24 hours. He said he keeps forgetting that he can email me from his phone. I told him he could’ve called while he was taking a piss just to say a quick hello and Happy Birthday. He started laughing and agreed, but still didn’t get the point. Whatever; people like him and my sister tend to be a bit dense at times. One of these days they’ll figure out that others count too. I’m done with it now, though. What’s done is done and I can’t change it or make them understand how their little errors made a huge impact. C’est la vie.

Tomorrow I’m out scouting more boxes so I can get started on the basement and the coat closet in the living room. The basement is, pretty much, packed, I just need to make a few adjustments to the already-present boxes and get things organized. I want to do as much as I can down there so I can consolidate my belongings and take an inventory, of sorts. We don’t need out winter coats either so they can all be packed into a box, or two, and the rest of what I’ve got in the coat closet will be tossed or packed. When those two things are done, I’ve only got left what we’re still using. Not bad, eh? I think I’m making pretty good progress. When I’m done, though, all I’ll have to do is clean and laundry, then I’m back to being bored. Don’t worry; I’ll find something to keep me entertained so I can keep you entertained. I won’t subject you to the misery of the Boredom Monster ever again. I’ll be cool, I promise.

Until next time…peace to all.

Tomorrow's Plans Today

I just sat here and decided to blog early for a change. Then I looked at the clock – it’s 10:20, not early at all. Today was an extremely lazy day for me. After drinking last night I was really tired this morning. The kids I’m babysitting got picked up by their dad at 10:00 for their visit with him and he returned them at 6:00. During the time they were gone I did one thing – I went to Dollar General to get sugar, ketchup and bread, and then returned home to make egg sandwiches for my kids and me. After we were finished eating I lounged on the mattress-that-became-the-sofa and watched television all day long. I even napped off and on during the day. It was exciting.

I still haven’t heard from my sister and really don’t expect to. I texted Joe again right before I went to bed telling him I still hadn’t heard from him or my sister; then I went to bed. While I was at Dollar General with Dolly this morning he called and spoke with Ty. I guess he only wanted to speak with Ty because he still hasn’t called me back yet. Whatever; I’ve got too much going on to be bothered with people who don’t have time for me anymore. Tomorrow I’m back on track with the packing.

I’m going to get down to brass tacks and get shit done. I’ve got closets to clean and pack, a basement to clean and pack, and various sundries to pack. I also remembered about a new-and-used furniture place over here in Kansas City. I found the website and emailed to see if they buy used furniture. If they do, maybe they’ll buy my desk and dining room set. If I can get rid of these two hulking pieces I’ll be in a better position to organize. I did sell my freezer today. My neighbor paid for it but knows it’s staying here until I’m gone; I’m still using it. If I can get it cleaned out over the next few days, maybe we can find a way to get it to her house.

I get my foodstamps tomorrow and I told the kids we’d go food shopping but only for the week and only for specific meals. I told them we’ll plan what we want each day so I don’t over buy on the groceries. That’ll allow me to get my freezer emptied so my neighbors can have it. Just one less thing for me to deal with now. I think they’re also going to buy my washer and dryer; those are definitely staying until I’m ready to go because I’ll need them to keep up on laundry. I am really hoping the furniture place will be able to help me, though. Fingers crossed.

I’ll start in my bedroom and get my stuff cleaned and packed, clothes included; then I’ll go the kids’ clothes. I’ll need to leave out some of their jeans and a jacket each so they can take them to their dad’s house; the rest will all be boxed and ready to go. I’ll finish packing the linen closet leaving one towel for each of us. I don’t wash them every day; we just hang them on hooks on the back of the door to dry, and then wash them once a week. That may sound gross to some, but we are clean when we emerge from the shower so it’s clean water drying on the towels. Maybe I can get the entire upstairs completely packed other than toys the kids are currently using. That would be sweet. Then I’d only have the coat closet down here, whatever’s left in the kitchen that we’re still using, and the basement.

You’d think with an exciting move like this taking place I’d be more gung-ho about packing, but it’s boring when I’m doing it myself. There’s just so much crap that we’ve collected in the time we’ve been here that I can’t get my brain organized enough to organize my crap. I feel like I’m just shifting it from one corner to the other and not really getting anything accomplished. If I had the room to move it up here to the living room I’d feel like I’m doing more but I don’t have the room with the furniture still here. Something’s gotta give. I know it will; I’m just cranky that things aren’t moving faster. Pleh. I should put ads on craigslist and my stuff should sell by the next day. That’s the way I want it but that’s not what’s happening. I’ve still got time, though; I’m sure everything will sell in due time. I’m off to bed now to rest from all the rest I got today and to help tomorrow get here faster. Tomorrow night is the next episode of “Persons Unknown” so I’ve got something to look forward to all day.

Until next time…peace to all.

Happy Birthday To Me?

Today was my birthday. Was it a glorious day? Nope, but it also could have been a lot better. I thought I was going to have a pleasant day with no hassles. Problem is, nothing ever turns out like I expect it. I woke up to Ty fighting with one of the kids I am babysitting; even though my kids promised me there would be no fighting today. Technically now it was yesterday. So there was the first-thing-in-the-morning fighting. That never fails to happen. Then I had to take Dolly to Urgent Care – nothing major.

Before that my neighbor asked me if I would be able to watch his kids for a couple of hours later in the day. Why not? I wasn’t doing anything else anyway. A couple of hours turned into four hours during which I got sunfried when I had to sit on the stoop with the infant in a stroller because the toddler insisted she had to be outside with her pre-school-aged brother and all the older kids. I was out in the sun for almost the entire four hours – getting a seriously fucked up sunburn/tan – before I insisted she come in the house so all the kids could watch TV. From that moment on she was determined to go back outside and kept dragging her four-year-old brother to the front door to look for Mom or Dad. I finally got annoyed and sat her down on the sofa and insisted that brother go ahead and watch TV with the rest of the kids. Not 15 minutes later Dad showed up at the door; sincerely apologetic because the class he was attending ran way over the time limit.

They left and I fed some dinner to the six kids I still had left, and then we shared the very small cake and ice cream that Zach insisted I buy for myself. By then I was so incredibly angry that I couldn’t stand it anymore. I love that particular couple but having to watch 10 kids and not being able to feed any of them and having my six getting angry with me because they weren’t allowed to eat didn’t help make things any better. Dude, there is only so much food in my house. I’m getting ready to move and am trying to get rid of what I’ve got so I don’t have to move it all with me. We were working off the extra kids’ mother’s supply of food that she brought with them Friday night (read that blog if you don’t understand). I didn’t have enough for the ultra-extra three kids. I say ‘three’ because the infant had formula and wasn’t really concerned with what snacks I had in my cupboard.

Okay, so the six I was responsible for had their corndogs, and cake with ice cream and were all happy and went outside to play. I gave a piece of cake and two scoops of ice cream to my neighbor G. and her pre-school daughter because I love them and they deserve it. They are just too sweet and have been through as much shit as I have. There is no way I could’ve missed sharing my birthday with them; even it if was just via cake and ice cream.

After all the kids were outside I decided that I needed to have a drink to celebrate my birthday for myself. I took my 24oz. glass, filled it with ice, added a shot (or perhaps two) of vodka, and filled the rest with grape Kool-Aid; stirred and drank. When it was half gone I refreshed it. I can’t walk around with a half empty glass; it’s an amazingly, refreshingly, relaxing drink. A couple of those and you’re (if you can hold your alcohol) relaxed but not even buzzed; just enjoying the atmosphere. I made my neighbors (the neighbor who ran late at the class and his wife) each a drink, and we sat outside their townhome and chatted. Then I refilled our drinks, about four times each. Our kids ran around and played in the sunset, dusk, and then dark. Finally, a little after 10:00 we all took our kids inside our respective homes to get them ready for bed. I have my extra three, the ones I’m babysitting, all in the boys’ room sleeping; and my three are all in my bedroom sleeping. That means I’ll be sleeping on the mattress-that-became-the-sofa tonight. Whatever; I don’t really care.

Why don’t I care, you ask? No, don’t get upset; I’ll gladly tell you. Relax. I don’t care because I’m pissed at a few things that happened today; or should I say, they didn’t happen today. First of all, the chick who said she wanted my rocking chair never called to come get it. I’m glad I didn’t give her my exact address; I just gave her directions to the vicinity and told her when she reached a specific spot to call and I’d talk her in the rest of the way. Maybe I’ll call her tomorrow to see if she really wants the rocker. Maybe I freaked her out by not giving her my complete address. Dude, I’ve got six kids here, three of my own, that I am responsible for keeping safe. Unless you can commit to me that you want my furniture, I’m not giving you my complete address.

That was the first thing, and can I tell you how fucking bad I want a cigarette right now?! Oh my sweet Angel of Universal Breath, I really want a cigarette right now. I won’t smoke one, – WHY? – because I don’t have any!!! I wouldn’t smoke one even if I did have any but that’s beside the point. That doesn’t mean I still don’t want one. April 26th seems so long ago and it’s really only, what, ten weeks? IT’S A LIFETIME WHEN I SMOKED FOR ALMOST 24 YEARS!!! The smell of a cigarette on someone else sucks balls but that doesn’t mean it isn’t appealing. You haven’t had a baby around in 24 years and suddenly smell one and think of how nice it would be to have one again. Does that mean you go and have one? NO; it just means the smell brings back seriously pleasant memories for you. Or you smell the perfume your first girlfriend wore back in High School. It brings back similar pleasant memories even though the bad times outweighed the good. Do you go and try to find her? No, you’re not that stupid. Folks, a familiar, pleasant smell doesn’t mean you have to repeat the negative behavior associated with it. Just thought I’d point that out to anyone who may not be paying attention. I’d be paying attention but I can’t afford it; that chick didn’t buy my rocking chair.

Let’s get back on track here, why don’t we. Why do you keep distracting me? So the chick didn’t buy my chair; I know, I’ve said that three times but I did say I’d call her tomorrow to try to rectify the situation. Here’s the deal, the big reason I’m pissed to the hilt; the reason I called Ellen at quarter-after-twelve EST even though I don’t call anyone after 10:00p.m. On my Facebook account I have 97 friends, I think. The majority are people I know personally – family, friends, former school mates, etc. Few are people that I “friended” because my sister suggested it when I was playing all the Facebook games. The more “friends” you have, the better the game is. These few people I actually converse with – virtually, of course, and I really dig them. Some are people I met through Kaplan Online University while I was obtaining my degree, and consider some of my best friends, even though we’ve never met in person, and a small handful are complete strangers, although seriously friendly and personable people. I adore all my Facebook friends, regardless of how I know them.

“Oh my sweet Lord, this chick isn’t getting to the point.” Yes, I am, I promise. Without the backdrop, you can’t see the foreground. Get ready. If you’re a Facebook-y you know that it notifies you when you have a “friend” with a birthday coming up, and it notifies you on that specific day. Now, I’m not one for big birthday celebrations; matter of fact, I’ve never even had a birthday party other than the one where my mother invited THREE neighborhood girls over to celebrate my sister’s birthday with mine (we both have July birthdays) and my mother barbequed while she chit-chatted with her friend. I’m 43 years old and have had one pseudo birthday party in my life. I’m getting to the point, I promise.

I got 22 birthday wishes on Facebook (that may not seem like a lot to you but with only 97 friends that’s a good amount and I love it) starting the day before my birthday from friends who thought they may not be able to get on FB Saturday. I got birthday wishes from relatives, friends I know personally, friends I’ve only spoken to on the phone, and friends I’ve never met or spoken to at all (in essence, complete strangers outside of FB). Some of the people mentioned here are people I haven’t spoken to in years; the mother of one of my exes even sent me birthday wishes. Guess what though? I didn’t get a birthday wish from my own sister or my best male friend, Joe. This, right now, is why I need a smoke. I’m ready to cry and don’t have any way to calm myself down at this exact instant. Yes, there are methods that I use, but I don’t want them now; I want a cigarette.

My sister is my half-sister; different fathers, same mother. We grew up together; and, according to our mother, I raised my sister. No gory details right now about our past except to say the she reconnected with her bio father and his family and she’s since forgotten who I am, apparently. Her half-brother, who I grew up with for part of my childhood, considered me part of the family, I thought. His wife even “friended” me on FB and I reconnected with their kids who still call me Aunt Beth. Not only did I not get a birthday greeting from my faux sister-in-law or either of my nieces (my faux brother isn’t on FB), but my own fucking sister couldn’t wish me a happy birthday at any time during the day. I did get an automated birthday wish from the forum of the company she and her husband, my b-in-l, own. It was even written to my online forum name, not my real name. “Dear Mabel, Power Hungry Performance would like to wish you a happy birthday.” Nothing personal; no phone call, no birthday card, no Facebook message, nothing. I guess since her other blood related sister died in January, her other bio family is all that matters. On Friday she posted to her s-in-l, the brother’s wife who “friended” me, that they all get together next week, meeting somewhere in between their homes (one lives in GA, the other in NC) for the sixth-month sadiversary (thanks Ellen) of their bio sister’s death. Fuck me, right? I guess I just don’t exist anymore to them.

Joe is a different story. I’ve known him for a little over nine years. I’ve been his sounding board through his first divorce; his ex-wife turning his daughter against him, and trying to turn his son against him; the shit with his current/potentially soon-to-be-second-ex-wife, and the shit going on at his place of employment. He called me, almost, every single day. He came here to visit us in March, after he had knee surgery and was out on disability. It was the first time anyone had come to visit us in the almost-six years we’ve lived here. He got back home, moved out of the marital house for a while, called me every single day, moved back into the marital home at the insistence of his attorney in June (won’t discuss the reasons here), and suddenly I get one 15-minute call every other week. Mind you, his previous calls lasted hours; we could watch entire movies together, long distance, over the phone.

Joe’s birthday was June 30. I texted him late the night before; first thing the morning of; and called him the afternoon of. I never heard from him. He called me a few days ago to bullshit. He’s getting reunited with his daughter, and I’m thrilled with that. They deserve to be in each other’s lives. Today, I got nothing from him. At 6:00 tonight I texted him, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME fucker,” (we have a “special” bond that allows us to say things to each other what most people wouldn’t say to their enemies) to which he responded, “I didn’t forget @ the movies happy b-day, to you.” I responded, “You been at the movies since midnight?” I haven’t heard from him since. I gave him shit the other day about me being the only one there for him for nine years and suddenly I’m out with the trash since his daughter is back in his life. Good for them but I’m not dog shit. He thought I was kidding; I wasn’t.

I say, fuck them both – Joe and my sister. I know Joe will come around and do the right thing, eventually; I’ll give him credit when he deserves it. Doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to be pissed off until then. My sister can go scratch her fat ass as far as I’m concerned. We’ve had our differences in the past and I’m guessing we’re not as over them as she made me believe we were. She’s got her family, and I’ve got mine (my kids). I’ll live; I’m a tough cookie. Still, it hurts like fucking all get out to be shunned because you’re not a full-blooded relative (neither was her sister that died but who cares, right?). Here come the tears again and my need for a smoke. Don’t feel sorry for me; I’m fine. Once I get to MD, only those who truly need it will have my new address. My sister will not be one of those people; and I make no apologies.

I am sorry this post is so long but I needed to vent. Like I said, I called Ellen after midnight her time to discuss this because I knew she was the only one who would truly understand; I have nobody locally who would get it. I’ve vented but I still don’t feel better. I will when I get to MD and have moved on into a new life without the toxic people that I want out of my present life. I hope I will anyway. Thanks for indulging me, and, again, my apologies for such a long post.

Until next time…peace to all.

P, P, P, P, POSITIVE

Today has been a very long day. I feel like I’ve been going from the minute I got up this morning. Oh, wait a minute – I HAVE. Dolly and I put the boys on the bus for their last day of summer school; came in the house, grabbed my keys and pocketbook and were out the door. We stopped at Price Chopper, a supermarket, to see if we could put one of our fliers on their bulletin board. “We’ve only got one and it’s in the break room for our staff.” Yea, thanks, have a nice day. Then we went to her school to get her records, which were handed to me on the spot. It helps to know people in the school; I volunteer so I know, pretty much, all the administrative staff, and a lot of the teachers.

Then we went to Hy-Vee because they were holding boxes for me, remember? They held boxes for me alright. After we loaded them into the van, the only space open was Dolly’s seat and mine, of course. I had enough room to see out the rearview window but that was it. I kid you not. Now my living room is completely full of empty boxes. After Hy-Vee, Dolly and I drove to Hope House to drop off two boxes of toys the boys no longer play with and so I could request a copy of my divorce file. We chatted with the women I know there and I even got a couple of leads of people to speak with in the DC area about possible work.

From Hope House we drove back to the Pediatricians’ office, which is just on the same street as Hope House, just back in the direction of home. I filled out the form to get the kids’ medical records and the girl who took the form is the girl who prints the records. She said she’d have them for me after 3:00 tomorrow. Excellent. As it turned out, she called me about 15 minutes after I arrived home later and told me they were ready and that I could pick them up today. Even more excellent!!

After the Peds’ office we stopped by Apple Market to put up another of our fliers, drove on to Dollar General to get the kids a treat, got gas in the car, then drove home – for all of an hour. After the hour was up we drove to the school to get the boys’ summer school gift cards. If they attend school every day for the month, they get a $100 gift card; if they miss one day, they get $75; miss two days get $50. Ty got the $100 and Zach got $75 because he decided to be a pain one day and fake sick. We signed out the gift cards then signed out the boys and all headed to K-Mart to get the boys socks and each kid a new bathing suit.

The socks were because I’m tired of not being able to find full pairs after doing the laundry. I’ve got a box that I keep the socks in when they can’t be mated. Every time I do a load of laundry I pull out the socks and the box and play “The Mating Game.” I mate what I can and the rest go back into the box. Now, the socks aren’t disappearing to the dryer monster, my boys just can’t seem to get them into the laundry in pairs. So I did the only thing I knew to do; I threw out the entire box of socks and any that I found in the laundry, on the floor, under a bed, in a toy box, whatever. Each boy got around 12 new pairs of socks to start fresh. The each kid got a new bathing suit so they can each take two to their dad’s house for vacation. Then we went home – again.

The kids went outside to play and my friend called. I was supposed to babysit her kids over the July 4th weekend but it got postponed to the weekend of the 24th. She was calling to cancel and ask if I wanted to do it this weekend. I’ve got really no food in the house to feed extra kids. I’m trying to get rid of what I have here and will only shop in little increments until we leave so I don’t have a butt load of food to move with us. She offered to go shopping and pay me for watching her kids for the next two days. I can dig that. That’s money that went right into my moving fund; minus a bit that I needed to put gas into the car. After she left I put the pizzas she bought into the oven for the kids’ dinner; we ate, then three of them stayed under the watch of a neighbor while the other three went with me back to the Pediatricians’ office to pick up the medical records.

Got home from there and Zach, who had run to K-Mart with a neighbor, came home telling me about the new shoes his friend just got, “and they’re only $10, Mom.” So, back to K-Mart with Zach while said neighbor watched the other five kids. I got sneakers for all three of my kids and they cost less than $25 total. Not a bad deal; and a gift card paid for them. My kids are now instructed not to ask me for ANYTHING between now and the time we leave. I got “okay”s from all of them, but I’m wondering how long it’ll last. From the time we got home, my neighbor, her husband, and I sat outside talking until after 10:00. I finally got all the kids down about an hour ago (it’s 11:30 now) and I got to sit and listen to myself breathe.

Did I mention in there anywhere that, during the mini breaks I had throughout the day someone offered to buy my rocking chair? This is a real offer; she gave me her phone number and took directions to my house. She’ll be here tomorrow. I’m not selling the rocker for much, but it’ll go to the moving fund. With that chair gone, I’ll have a corner in the living room free to stack some boxes so maybe I can get some out of my kitchen. Now, if only the rest of my furniture would sell. It’s just got to.

All-in-all, today was a pretty positive day, with good things happening – OH SHIT, I TOTALLY FORGOT ONE THING. I can’t believe I forgot this. Remember I said, last night I think, that I tried going to the boys’ school to see if anyone was there during the summer and nobody is? I think I also mentioned that they’re doing some remodeling on some of the schools around here and the boys’ elementary is one of them on the list for this summer. It’s called Project Shine. Anyway, when Dolly and I were on our way back home from getting gas this morning (we have to pass the school to get to our street) I spotted someone standing by the reader board the school uses to post notifications of school events – it’s down by the road. One of the people was the school principal. I did a quick u-turn and went into the parking lot to talk to her. I volunteered there too so I know everyone in the school with the exception of a few teachers.

She told me her secretary would be in the school July 26 and would be able to get me copies then, or I could just wait until I get to MD and have them sent. I said I would check with the secretary to see how busy she’d be and, if she had the time, would get copies before I left. She said that would be fine. So, it was just another good thing that happened today. That’s what I was going to say in the last paragraph when I suddenly remembered this event. Today was just chock full of positive energy and I’m hoping it stays that way.

Some guy, tonight, was outside talking to my neighbors and me and said something about age. When I told him I am old enough to be his mother he just laughed. “Girl, you can’t be more than 30, 31…” Bless your heart, you little bullshitter. When I told him I’d be 43 tomorrow (he’s 23 – he mentioned it in an earlier conversation) he about fell over. Positive energy abounds. I like it and I think I’ll hold onto it for a little while. Maybe it’ll help my furniture sell; maybe it’ll just tickle my nose for a while. Who knows? Not me, but I’ll update you if and when I find out, okay?

Until next time…peace to all.

Waiting Again...

I am back at the mercy of the Universe. I’ve placed my ads on craigslist and nobody worthwhile is responding. I either get a scammer who doesn’t speak English responding to me with, “You still have offer” then, when I give the affirmative, I get back a message saying something like, “So I don’t make same mistake like I did before, please view video and let me know if you have same” along with a link to something that I’m supposed to view. Do I look stupid enough to click on an uninvited link from a complete stranger? I didn’t think so. Now I recognize the “you still have offer” message and don’t even respond to them.

I had one person respond very favorably to my Stephen King collection: “If this is still available I want it and can meet with you today to pick it up,” and another asking about the microwave in a similar, but different, fashion. I gave the go-ahead and my phone number for both people to call for directions and to make arrangements and never heard from them again. See, I’ve got a lot of time on my hands too, but I don’t spend it scamming or fraudulently emailing people. Why the fuck would I do that? Maybe if I was a moronic asshole like these others I would; unfortunately I’ve got more class and more appropriate things to do with my over-abundance of time.

Last night I made up fliers to post around town, which is why I didn’t blog – my apologies if you were expecting an entry. I opened Publisher and went to town. The fliers are simple but I haven’t done that kind of work since I worked in Ad Specialties and made up black-and-white artwork for print jobs. I had a blast. I only printed four so today Dolly and I went to Sunfresh and hung up one; then we went to the local Goodwill store and hung up one there. I tried, tonight, to hang up one at Hy-Vee but it can only be a half-page size and I can’t condense the flier any more. I did speak with someone who’s going to save me some boxes, though.

As we passed Aldi, another supermarket, I started to stop in there but they close at 8:00 and it was past then so we just drove on by. Tomorrow I’ll go to Price Chopper and the library, and, if I feel like it, I’ll print up some more and see where else I can put them. I’m also going to re-post my craigslist ads. This furniture has got to sell. I’m not even asking that much for it; I don’t see what the problem is. I’ve still got time but I get more nervous with each passing day. I know it’ll sell; I know it’ll sell; I know it’ll sell…

I also found someone mechanically inclined to help me tune up my van. Paul is sending me the parts and I, accidentally, found a neighbor who can help me install them. It shouldn’t be too hard, and I said I would pay him a little something; not much, but a little. He’s my neighbor and he was changing a tire for his fiancé and it just hit me that he may be able to help; I asked and, voila, he can. YEA!!! That’s one less thing off my to-do list.

I also cancelled my Foodstamps and the kids’ Medicaid accounts today. We’ll still get benefits for July but they’ll be done afterward so that, in August, I’ll be able to apply for services in Maryland. I should actually qualify for Medicaid myself there. I don’t qualify here in Missouri because I make more than $300 a month. Former Governor Matt Blunt figured that people who make over $300 a month can pay for their own medical insurance. I can’t wait to be covered. I’ll feel much better about getting a cold.

I’ve still got to get the kids’ medical records copied, and Dolly’s school stuff copied. The boys’ stuff I can’t get until the end of the month when someone is at the school. I rang the bell on Tuesday but nobody answered. They will be doing some remodeling there over the next few weeks so maybe I can get the records earlier. We’ll see. I just want to have everything with me when I get to Maryland so there are no hold-ups with paperwork or services or anything. I’ll get it all done; I have no doubts.

I think I’m going to relax for now and finish watching “17 Again” again. Zac Efron is too cute for words and it’s the type of movie that makes me forget my woes since it’s not based on any aspect of reality whatsoever. Nobody can transform back to their teen-aged self and solve the problems in their lives; it would be nice if it really could happen, though. I just dig the movie and am watching it for the third time today. I’ll keep everyone updated on my furniture, no worries. I’ll be back – I promise.

Until next time…peace to all.

I Can Only Control Me

My kitchen is almost completely packed. Other than food, all I’ve got left is stuff we use every day. That’s not bad. My room, other than my closet is also done. I just need someone to buy my furniture so I can start organizing what I’m packing rather than just having boxes just sitting around the different rooms. Someone will buy it; I know it. No worries.

The rest of the kitchen was all I did today with the exception of laundry. I just sat on the “sofa” and watched TV again while Dolly played with her friends. After all the complaining I did about not having anything to do, I just can’t get in the mood for packing. I don’t know why because I can’t wait to get out of here and get on with my life. Maybe it’s because I’m worrying over the furniture, or because I don’t really relish my kids spending two weeks with their dad. I don’t know. He’s more than welcome to see them since he hasn’t seen them in two years; I just wish he would consider them before himself.

What I mean is, he’s going to have them from July 30 to about August 18. That only leaves them four days to get acclimated to their new surroundings at Ellen’s house before school starts. That’s not really fair to them but Paul is so concerned over the fact that he hasn’t seen them in so long that he wants to make as much of this vacation as he can. I understand how he feels but it’s his own fault he hasn’t seen them. He insists on having them with him in NY rather than driving or flying out here to spend time with them. That doesn’t make sense to me. If you haven’t seen your kids in a while, wouldn’t you make any arrangements you could to see them, regardless of the location? I know I would.

He won’t do that, though, because if he’s not around his family and friends he can’t show off what a good daddy he wants them to think he is. Yes, everyone will be complimenting him on what great kids he has but he doesn’t seem to understand that he had nothing to do with it. I’ve been raising them by myself for the past few years so whatever good behavior they’ve been taught, they’ve been taught by me. As well, some of their bad habits are from me, too. I haven’t raised perfect kids, but I have raised them.

When he was asking me if he could bring them back to me on the 18th of August I agreed only because he’s doing so much to help us get moved back to the East Coast. I’m just not going to argue with him over it. Quite honestly, I don’t think the kids will even last that long with him; they’re going to get bored with nothing to do and/or upset with the way he treats them, and they’ll ask him to bring them home to me. I can almost guarantee that they’ll be home by the 14th, and he may even have to bribe them to stay that long. I could be wrong, but, knowing my kids the way I do, I think they’ll want to come home as soon as they’ve had their fill.

I just hope he behaves himself. Yes, I said “behaves” because that’s the correct word. If one more person asks another if he or she is “being haved” rather than “behaving” my head just might pop off my shoulders. See, he has a habit of bullying people into doing what he wants them to do, even by just speaking calmly. For example, he’s not thrilled that Zach got his ears pierced so he told me that Zach is on his “bad boy” list because of it. According to him Zach asked his opinion before having it done, got a negative response, but did it anyway. Gee, haven’t you ever done anything your parents didn’t like? Uh, yea, you have.

I even told him he can’t use that against Zach to deny him one thing because of this. For example, “I’m not going to do this because you got your ears pierced.” He said he won’t but I don’t believe him. I think he’ll keep dropping hints at Zach until Zach feels bad enough to take out the earrings. If he does that, there will be issues between us that he’ll never forget. I will, however, make sure Zach knows that he has to do what feels better to Zach rather than doing what other people want him to do. He can’t spend his entire life making decisions based on what his dad, or anyone else, thinks. I know he’s only seven and it’s hard for him to stand up to his dad, but I’ll help him in that respect because I won’t allow my kids to be bullied by anyone regardless of the issue.

I know the kids are excited to be seeing him but it makes me nervous because I know how their dad can be. I really hate seeing them treated the way I was treated or the way he treated them before he left. It wasn’t fair but I don’t know how to stop it. I can’t control anyone but myself but the kids will eventually recognize what kind of person their dad is and will probably decide they don’t want to be around him anymore. I won’t blame them, nor will I force them to visit if they don’t want. He’s the one laying the foundation for their relationship, and he’s the one who’ll have to find a way to rectify it when it falls to pieces. I’ll be there for the kids; he’ll have to find someone to be there for him because it won’t be me.

I guess it doesn’t matter what I think about things right now because I don’t know how he’ll be with them; even though I can strongly suspect. I’ll just have to wait and see. With luck, everything will be just fine and they’ll have a great time. If not, I’ll be just a phone call away and will go get them if need be. We’ll see what happens in another few weeks.

Until next time…peace to all.

Relaxation Day

Today was a seriously boring day, I gotta tell ya. I got up, showered, packed four boxes of kitchen stuff, and then sat down on my mattress-that’s-now-the-sofa and watched television – all day long. I reposted my craigslist ads early this morning and got one hit that was a scam so I didn’t even respond. I leave my email open all day so I can see when I get new messages, and during the entire day I got about seven new messages. On any other day I’ve got 30-40 messages coming in from whomever. I guess people were just too busy to be on the computer today. That doesn’t make me feel good because I need my furniture to sell. I don’t know what I’ll do with it if it doesn’t sell before I have to leave. I guess I’ll deal with that when the times comes.

I did get to watch the next episode of the new show I discovered last week, “Persons Unknown” that was on tonight. It was pretty good; I wasn’t disappointed. I was surprised at one thing, though. I know FCC standards have changed as far as language on TV is concerned but a character in this show actually said “dick” tonight. I don’t recall the exact line but she did start it by saying, “It doesn’t mean dick if…” Good grief. I guess I should watch more TV so I won’t be surprised the first time someone says “fuck” on primetime. Before you know it, news anchors will be throwing obscenities in during live broadcasts.

Anyway, after “Persons Unknown,” the next installment of “Last Comic Standing” was on that channel. It was a semi-final round I debated whether or not to watch it because I don’t watch reality TV. I had an argument with myself about it. I didn’t want to watch it because I hadn’t seen any of it thus far, and I knew that if I watched it this week I’ll want to watch it next week. What if I have a hot date next week? That’s not likely to happen but I have to take it into consideration, right? You never know.

On the other hand, I wanted to watch “Last Comic Standing” because I wanted to see if any of the comedians were funny enough to make me really laugh. I haven’t laughed really hard in a long time and was due. Besides, with 24 comedians, I think it was, performing, some of them were bound to be really funny. So I watched the show. Out of all those performers, one made me chuckle once and another made me laugh so hard I had tears. That was it. This is a competition to see who’s the funniest in the group and they only had two that got a reaction out of me.

It could be that they didn’t really have enough time to get rolling with their material – each comic only had 90 seconds – but I’m thinking that, if that one guy made me laugh as hard as he did, the rest could have done the same. At the end of the show the judges made their selections of the five that will move on to the finals next week. There were five from this week and five from last week (I didn’t see that episode) and they will all perform next week and then we, the American people, get to vote on who will be the “Last Comic Standing.” Since I’ll be watching “Person Unknown” next week, unless I have that really hot date, I’ll probably watch “Last Comic Standing” just out of curiosity. If I feel like it I may even vote for the comic I like best. If he’s as funny next week as he was this week I’ll definitely vote for Tommy Johnagin.

This dude was fucking hilarious and had me laughing from the second he started talking. His 90 seconds were way too short and I would have gladly watched him for the entire two hours. I may even see if he’s on YouTube to check out more of his material. If you like comedy, I highly recommend Tommy Johnagin. His material was original and his depictions made for the perfect visual images. It was not hard to imagine what he was talking about at all; and his delivery was perfect.

I also got to watch one of my all-time favorite movies today. I happened to be flipping channels when I noticed “Johnny Dangerously” was on one of the HBO channels. It was 35 minutes into the movie, and I don’t usually put on a movie once it’s started, but I couldn’t resist. “Johnny Dangerously” ranks right up there with “The Blues Brothers” in my book. It’s too funny and I have to watch it whenever I can. I ran to Blockbuster yesterday to get “Young Frankenstein” for Tyler (I don’t recall if I mentioned it in last night’s post or not) and “Johnny Dangerously” for me. I got Ty’s movie but they didn’t have mine. Ironic, huh, that it’s on TV the day after I searched for it in a store? That happens to me all the time. It’s actually getting ready to start in just a minute. I’ve got the channel on in the background so I can watch/listen while I write this, and I’ll finish watching it when I’m finished here and up in bed.

I don’t know if I’ll be permitted to sleep tonight because my neighbors are still shooting off fireworks. They have been all day. It just gets boring and annoying after a while. Get over it – you light it, it performs, it’s done. Wow!!! You’ve only done 500 of them so far, the novelty should have worn off by now. Besides, I’m thinking your kids need to be in bed. It’s 10:30 already, my kids have to go to school in the morning, and I’m getting ready to go to bed. I say pack it up, go inside, put the kids to bed, and let me be done with your idiocy for the day. It won’t happen but I can still wish for it.

Well, tomorrow is another day. People will buy my furniture, and I’ll get more packing done. I’m sure of it. I just feel like I’m playing the waiting game again, and I don’t like that. I waited for this move and it’s coming so I know the furniture will sell too. Then I can get out of here and move on to a better life. Right now I’m moving on to my movie and some more doing nothing.

Until next time…peace to all.

Fourth of July

The Fourth of July holiday is over, for us anyway. It was actually kind of a bummer this year. The kids bugged me for fireworks, which I bought, and which they didn’t use long enough to really enjoy. Early this afternoon I let them do the smoke bombs and snakes, because you can’t really see them at night. Zach was more concerned with getting to light his own stuff with the punk. What the fuck? Enjoy the fireworks and don’t worry so much about lighting them. Ty was enjoying lighting the snakes, and Dolly was directing her friends, “Guys, move back while I light this.” Needless to say, they went through everything really fast just because they were excited about lighting their own. Whatever.

Later in the evening we were going to do sparklers. I got everything together – sparklers, punks, and a pan full of water. A group of kids surrounded me to get their sparklers. Had Zach not been such a shit about HAVING to light the sparklers with the punk, things might have gone a little smoother. I was just going to sit with a punk in each hand, holding them out for the kids to take a sparkler and hold it to the flame. Because Zach insisted on lighting them with me, we actually had to light the sparklers one at a time and hand them off to the kids. With the wind picking up, that wasn’t the best idea because Zach was to my right and the wind was blowing right at me. I didn’t get burned but was in great danger of having my hair set on fire even though I had it in a ponytail.

I made Zach stand further in the yard, away from me, and as each kid was handed a lit sparkler they were told to walk away from me. When the sparklers went out, they were to be put directly into the pail of water. Everyone was happy until one neighbor, who’d bought a butt-load of fireworks, started setting them off in the backyard. At that point, all the kids wanted to go watch them so we were done with the sparklers. That was fine with me since I like my hair long. However, now I’m stuck with a LOT of sparklers that probably won’t get used – ever.

At any rate, we went behind my neighbors’ townhomes to watch this fireworks display and I was taking a few pictures (I’ll post some on Facebook tomorrow) but they kept setting off the same two types of fireworks so it was getting really boring. Then it started to rain – it was supposed to all day but held off for a long time. It wasn’t a downpour or anything, just enough to annoy me. I was done taking pictures, the kids were bored and Zach’s fever had come back. The acetaminophen I gave him brought it down but then he was complaining of being itchy and his stomach and back hurt and felt pokey – ah, prickly heat. Gee, Zach, I did tell you to sit and relax for a while, but you chose to ignore. So I slathered him in corn starch, gave him some ibuprofen, and sent him to bed.

Now all three kids are in bed and Zach is already asleep. Dolly and Ty are still awake but they’re staying in bed so I get some quiet time to myself without them constantly interrupting me. There are still loads of fireworks still going off outside, some of them about 50 feet from my front door, but there isn’t anything I can do about it. Technically, midnight is the cut-off time, but that’s pretty unlikely also. As long as I can go to sleep when I’m ready, that’s all that matters.

Other than the “celebration,” today wasn’t too bad at all; it was just a relax-and-enjoy kinda day. I didn’t even do much packing today. You didn’t actually think I would go without updating you on my packing, did you? I went to Sunfresh first thing this morning to pick up the boxes they saved for me. I have to sidebar here, though, for a quick funny story. I showered before I ran to Sunfresh. Dolly waited outside the bathroom for me to dress then entered. While I went to put my pjs back on my bed, she got two Q-tips for me. She handed them to me and said, “Here, Mom, I got you two ear picks.” She was so adorable; and I’ve never heard them called that before but I like it better than Q-tips so I think we’ll use it all the time. Anyhow, I got the boxes then I came home, did a few other things, and packed only one box in the kitchen. Tomorrow I’ll repost my ads and, since the holiday will be over and people all have the day off, they’ll be looking for furniture and will flood me with offers. I can’t wait. Everything will sell and I’ll be on my way to owning almost nothing. How many people do you know are proud of that, huh? Just me, right? See, I knew I was special. My cup runneth over with that simple fact. I’ll update you tomorrow on how much of my stuff sold. It should be a great day; I can’t wait.

Until next time…peace to all.

Not Much Progress

Well I got, pretty much, nothing done today. I’m stuck. Nobody is responding to the craigslist ads I posted because of the holiday weekend (Ellen said it; I’m just giving people the benefit of the doubt). I’ll repost the ads on Tuesday morning so everyone can get a fresh look at everything I’ve got to sell. I did have a couple come and look at my dining room table and chairs but the color was “too light” for them. Bummer. Had they bought it, I’d have room in the kitchen to start stacking boxes. Right now, like I said last night, I don’t really have any free space. I can only do so much.

My kids went with my neighbors (some good ones) today, to a picnic at a park, and were gone for about five hours. In that time I had those mean people come and tell me my table wasn’t good enough for them (hmph); I took down all the extra wall hangings (stuff around my desk, cork boards, knick knacks, etc.); I took the toy boxes out of the boys’ closet and moved them into Dolly’s empty room; I packed up their board games; I packed up some more kitchen stuff; and I got some of the basement cleaned. That’s a lot, right? Not a huge amount but it was still a step forward.

What sucks is that I spent most of my morning out looking for boxes. I went to K-mart at the time yesterday’s customer service chick told me to get there but they said they had none. Then I went next door to Dollar General and the sales dude told me to check back around noon to see if they had gotten to the stuff in the big boxes. When I told the manager that I’d be back for the boxes he nixed it saying he gets a credit for all the boxes he returns to the warehouse. That squashes my supply from them. Sunfresh, the supermarket, won’t have any until tomorrow, Walgreens didn’t have any, and Auto Zone said they don’t usually save them but I could check back Monday night. I may just have to drive across town to Hy-Vee, another supermarket, to get some; they’ve always got a supply. I refuse to pay for cardboard boxes; that’s just not right.

So I did what I did while the kids were gone and when they got back Zach lay down on the mattress we now use as a sofa saying he didn’t feel well. He had a fever so I gave him some kid’s fever reducer and he napped for a couple of hours. Now I’m sure he’ll be up most of the night. Sucks for him; he’ll be the only one awake. I’m not waiting for him to fall asleep before I do. I’ll wait for Dolly to go to sleep just so she’s not able to roam the house alone at night; the boys wouldn’t do that. After this morning, I need some sleep tonight.

It was about 5:20 this morning when I heard very loud talking. At first, I thought the boys’ television was too loud. When I got up to pee I realized it was coming from outside. I looked out my south-facing bedroom window to find the Samoan family from our cul-de-sac standing over by the playground, TALKING VERY LOUDLY to each other. Did I mention that it was 5:20 in the morning? I just stood with my palms on the window sill, staring at them. I don’t know if they saw me or not, but, about a minute later they all started walking toward their townhome which is on the other side of the parking lot. If you’ve never seen a Samoan person walk, this 15-second trip must have taken them about ten minutes. Walk a few steps – very slowly; stop and talk loudly; walk a few more steps – very slowly; stop and talk loudly…I, apparently wasn’t the only household they woke either because, when I spoke with my neighbor who took my kids out, and who lives on the same side of the parking lot as, but at the other end from, the Samoans, she said she was ready to call the police to have them tell these people to shut up. In any case, after they finally made it out of earshot of me, I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t. Sometime around 7:00 Zach came into my room to ask me something so I decided to go downstairs with him. He said he’d been up “since the clock said 5:13.” Those fuckers woke him too. If they do it again, I’ll shoot peas at them until they get the hint that they are too loud. They’re a nice family, but so inconsiderate it makes me want to scream. Less than a month and I won’t have to bother with them anymore. YEA!!!

Tomorrow I’ll run to Sunfresh to get the boxes the guy is saving for me, I’ll finish packing up what I can – the stuff in the closets can probably come out now – and I’ll just start putting boxes in Dolly’s room. The kids will be bugging me all day long to be able to light up the fireworks I bought for them. I think I mentioned that in another post. I can’t really be sure, though. I just got some sparklers, smoke bombs, snakes, and those little snapper things that pop when you throw them at the ground. They’ll want to start at the butt-crack of dawn but that won’t happen. I’ll have to make them wait until after dinner, at least, and I’ll take some pictures. You’ll be able to see them on my Facebook page. I’ll probably post them early Monday morning; we’ll be outside later than usual to watch the fireworks going off all around us and then I have to blog to update my fans on my packing progress so I can’t post the pictures tomorrow night. Sorry.

I’m just kidding; I might take a break from the packing progress updates tomorrow. I’ll just give you a blow-by-blow accounting of how each kid did with each sparkler and smoke bomb; how many times they begged to get started; how many tantrums they threw when I told them to wait until after dinner; etc. It’ll be fun; I’ll even try to make it extra long if I can. If you’re going to take the time to read what I write, the least I can do is give you something worth your time, right? I’m cracking myself up over here; I am just so funny sometimes. Yea…I’m going to bed.

Until next time…peace to all.