I Don't Get It

I don’t get it. What’s the deal with sagging pants these days? I was watching my neighbor and his friend work on a car and my neighbor sagged his pants – to the point that they were literally sitting below is ass. Even though he had on a long T-shirt, I could still see where the waistband was sitting on his thighs. Why do they think that looks good; and how can it be comfortable? I always thought the idea was to dress presentably so that the opposite sex would find you attractive. I don’t find someone’s boxers attractive while they’re walking down the street. What the fuck?

I know it can’t be comfortable, either, because, as I watched him, I took note of how he moved. At one point he walked across the parking lot to get hold of his toddler’s hand but had to walk really slowly and with his feet pants-waistband-distance apart in order to prevent them from falling. Not only that, but as he was moving back and forth around the car engine, he held onto the front of the pants so they wouldn’t fall. It was just a casual grasp, almost like he would look if his pants were pulled up and his hand was in his pocket, but he was holding them up nonetheless. Why? What happens in an emergency? How do they move quickly without losing their pants and/or tripping over them? Granted, when I was in high school there were some really odd fashions – really BIG hair, leg warmers, spandex pants with baggy shirts, etc. – but we, pretty much grew out of them after we graduated and became grown-up people. My neighbor is an adult and is walking around with his pants falling down – on purpose. I don’t get it.

I don’t get it. We can all be hypocritical at times but there are actually some people who believe they are one way, present another, and laugh at those who take a different viewpoint. I’ll explain. I met a couple, not much older than I am but old enough to be grandparents. They’ve raised their kids and are helping to raise some of their grandchildren. Grandpa has been accused of child abuse for an overzealous spanking on grand-junior and he, Grandma and Mom are asking for assistance to help get grand-junior under control.

When “Love and Logic” suggestions were offered to help defray any future spankings, Grandma and Grandpa openly laughed at the suggestions and simply refused to admit that there is any other way of discipline that groundings and spankings. They claim they’re old school – they were spanked as kids and grew up just fine (remember I said they’re not that much older than I am – I’ll be 43 in July) – so I’m wondering how “old school” they can be. I don’t recall the sixties and seventies being the time when all kids were getting spanked to the point of bruising. Maybe my recollection is just off. I was spanked too just not to the extent that marks were left.

In any case, the most ironic part is that they claim it’s just this one grand-junior they’re having difficulty with and don’t know what to do, and that they raised their kids and their kids all turned out fine. Ready for the irony? The daughter that was with them, the problem child’s mother, had her first kid when she was barely a teenager. If Grandma and Grandpa did such a great job raising their kids, why in the world did their daughter have a kid barely beyond her fourteenth birthday? Yea, Grandma and Grandpa, you did such a great job with your own kids that you shouldn’t need any assistance with grand-junior. Just do what you did with your own kids; that should be enough. If it’s not, don’t laugh at the rest of us or our suggestions when we can tell you’re not the end-all-be-all of parenting perfection. How can people be like that and not see how they look to others? I don’t get it.

I don’t get it. Why is that I seem to be the only parent interested in my kid’s role in anything that happens? I’ll explain again. Say Tyler comes running into the house saying that Mary did this to him. My first question to Tyler is, “Well, what was your role in this? What did you do?” I ask him because I know my kids aren’t perfect and I know they can provoke some shit. I’m not the parent who automatically goes running out the door to chastise another child or speak to another parent without knowing as much about what happened as I can. However, other kids will come to me to tell me that one of my kids did such-and-such to them and when I ask the tellers their roles in it, it’s always, “I wasn’t doing anything.” Of course not. It’s either that or they’ll run and tell their own parents that one of my kids did something but no other parent ever asks what their own kid did. I’m the only parent who bothers to find out two sides of a story and then piece them together to weave a third, and possibly truthful, story. I even do that with my own kids when they bring a problem to my attention.

I’m not a perfect parent by any means, and I don’t expect to be, nor do I expect my kids to be perfect but my kids are not always going to be blamed for everything that happens around here because no other parents teach their kids to take responsibility for their own actions. Fuck, most of the parents around here won’t take responsibility for their own actions; how can I expect them to teach their children to do that? I just heard this evening that two of my neighbors were out yelling at a little boy’s father because, supposedly, the kid did something bully-like to a couple of the little girls in my cul-de-sac. Now, let me just say something before you start with the “little boys shouldn’t be picking on little girls” comments. Two of these little girls were taught to fight by their felon father who is proud of the fact that his girls can defend themselves. Problem is, one of these little girls is a bigger bully than most of the boys around here. She fights just because she can, not solely to defend herself. I would mention that to her dad but, oops, he’s been back in prison since last year.

The other mom that was out there yelling is the mother of a five-year-old (she’s got teenaged daughters also) who is extremely bossy and rude. Little girl’s most common comment to Dolly is, “If you don’t [do whatever it is] you can’t come to my birthday party.” Now, the birthday isn’t until July so this little chick uses this bully method to get her way with other little kids. Do you think Mom steps in to stop it? Nope. So, both of these moms are yelling at the boy’s father over something the boy supposedly did, but neither mom asked any of the girls what they had done. The little boy was picking on your precious, innocent daughters. They were standing there doing absolutely nothing and this little boy just walked right up and started some shit with them. It’s always someone else’s fault, right ladies? I don’t get it.

I probably never will get it, either; for everything I say, someone else will have an excuse to defend whatever it is. These are just some of the things I was observing the past couple of days; and the most recent. They’re just some more of the reasons I don’t want to be here anymore. I need a new start, in a new place, with new people, and new experiences. Guess what? That’s not happening any time soon so I’ll have to be content to bitch in my blog.

Until next time…peace to all.