Manners and Stuff

Monday through Friday I have to get up at 6:15 a.m. so I can get the boys up at 6:30 to get ready for school. I know it’s not extremely early when lots of people get up much earlier, but it’s early for me; I’m generally a night owl. Anyway, like most everyone else, the only days I get to sleep in are Saturdays, Sundays, and any other day the kids aren’t in school. This morning was no exception and I had planned on getting a little extra sleep before actually putting my feet on the floor. It wasn’t to be, however.

Usually, I’m awakened by the sounds of my kids’ voices, either fighting with one another, or simply talking too loudly. Today, though, the voices were coming from outside; children’s voices, very loud and very annoying first thing in the morning. Two of my bedroom windows face east and the sun begins shining brightly into them around 7:40 every morning; and the sun was directly on me when I heard those little, loud voices. It couldn’t be that early. Dare I look at the clock? I did dare. It was 7:51 when I actually opened my eyes. Not that early, but earlier than I would have liked. Still, maybe it’s just me, but why are there kids outside before 8:30 in the morning? The play/lawn area is common to all the residents of the townhomes and apartments in this development and any noise outside can be heard by all. I never let my kids go outside until, at least, 8:30 because of the simple fact that other people may still be sleeping. Where’s the common courtesy? Don’t parents teach their kids manners any more?

I know kids will be kids but c’mon people. How are kids supposed to learn to respect others when mom and dad don’t teach them, or show them, for that matter? When mom and dad are out in the yard yelling at one another, why should the kids act any differently? I see kids around here who are no older than 12 or 13, many much younger, who have absolutely no respect for anyone. They lip off to any adult who speaks to them, their language is atrocious, and they don’t care how they treat other people’s belongings.

Zach’s friend “Artie” is a cute little kid, but can be a bully and very manipulative when he wants to be, and his language isn’t the greatest. He’s seven years old and walked out of the house with Zach the other day saying something to the effect of, “You gotta see this; it’s way bad, mofo.” It took me a few minutes to realize what he’d said and by then it was too late for me to say anything to him. Now, I’ve used bad language in front of my kids, never to them, but, to me anyway, there’s a difference between an adult saying it and another kid saying it. My kids don’t question why they can’t say something I say; they do question why they can’t say what another kid says.

Dolly, not two weeks ago, got mad at Tyler and flipped him the bird. I know for a fact that she’s never seen me do that, because I don’t do it. When I asked where she saw that, all three kids said, at the same time, “Artie.” That figures. I’ve spoken to this kid numerous times about his actions, words and attitude, and I’ve even spoken to his mother but it doesn’t seem to do any good. She may discipline him for whatever the offense may be, but it’s not having any effect on him. The fact that his older brothers are just like that tells me where he gets it. It’s pretty sad, too, because I like most of the kids until their behavior gets out of control. They’re always here, hanging out with my kids.

A couple of weeks ago I had 14 kids in my house all hanging out in the basement, playing together. It didn’t bother me because I knew my kids were happy and safe. Mine will probably be the house where, when my kids are teens, all the kids will hang out to watch TV, play basketball, whatever. I can deal with that, however, only if they respect my rules and my belongings. The week after the visit from the 14 kids, I had nine of them in the basement, “Artie” and one of his brothers and one of his sisters included. Okay again? Nope, not so okay this time. I heard a crash and Zach came running up the basement stairs telling me my table was broken. I have a spare drop-leaf dining table just being stored in the basement that, apparently, the kids were standing on, and the base of it broke. All of them were politely told to go, and then I went around to the parents telling them why the kids were being asked to leave. Once parent apologized, but not one kid did until three days later, and it was still only one kid, and not one related to the parent that apologized.

What was really disturbing was that, while I was walking across the parking lot from parent to parent, the kids were all standing there watching me. I looked at all of them and said, “Not fair guys. I’m nice enough to invite you into my home and this is how you repay me, by disrespecting my belongings? That’s fine; I won’t be inviting any of you back inside any time soon.” Not one of them said a word to me. They all just stood and stared. Then, when Zach went to run the garbage to the dumpster for me, the older kids tried to blame the table incident on him telling him he should’ve stopped it from falling. Zach is 4 ½ feet tall and weighs about 60lbs. Some of these other kids are six inches taller and 20lbs heavier than Zach, and there were four kids (I don’t know exactly which four) standing on the table when it broke. It was Zach’s fault that it broke because he didn’t catch it? I don’t think so. Perhaps it’s their parents’ faults for not teaching them how to respect other people’s property.

This is just a small insight to what I see on a daily basis around here. Granted, my kids aren’t perfect as anyone who’s ever spoken to me on the phone can attest, but they behave a lot better than some of the kids around here. My kids are always asking me why they don’t have a parent that “doesn’t care” about them; why they can’t be like the other kids. My standard answer is, “Because I love you too much to watch you go to jail when you’re fifteen because you don’t know how to follow rules.” They don’t always like that answer but they deal with it and I can see it in their behavior. We even discuss the other kids’ negative behavior sometimes. The really funny part here is that every other household in our cul-de-sac has two parents in it, or a parent and grandparent; my household is the only one with a one parent, and my kids get the fewest complaints in the neighborhood. I guess that means I’m doing a good job. I’m so proud of me!!!

Enough of my complaining for tonight, though. Gonna run now and get some rest. I hope everyone has a Happy Mother’s Day and enjoys some special time with their kids. Until tomorrow…peace to all.