Today, for the first time in a week, I was disappointed when I finished eating dinner. I was cleaning up my dishes when I got the feeling that something was missing and that I wasn’t finished with my meal. I was washing the dishes; what could’ve been missing. Then I walked back to my desk to sit down and reached for cigarettes that weren’t there. It was really odd; that feeling that something was missing was my after-meal smoke and I haven’t even had one in eight days. Go figure. I got past it.
I’m starting to get ticked off, though, because I really am running out of things to do during the day. I’m going to go back to volunteering at the boys’ school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but Mondays and Wednesdays will be the same old nothing. I’m really at a loss, and even trying to call to look for housing in Maryland is getting on my nerves. I think I’m trying too hard or something. I can’t seem to come up with any new ideas of places to call. I even checked craigslist.com today to see if anyone was offering low-income housing and didn’t find any. Maybe I’ll put my own ad up there telling people what I need and see if they respond. I’m just getting really frustrated.
I know I shouldn’t give up but that’s what I feel like doing. There’s only so much I can do and I’ve done it all. I’m just waiting on other people to get back to me and it’s not happening. I guess I’ll just have to set a deadline for myself and if I don’t hear anything by then, I’ll just begin making plans to stay where I am for the next year. Not that there’s much to plan, but I’ll need to buy a dresser, at least, for myself. I sold my bedroom set a couple of weeks ago to pay my property tax so I can get my van tagged. Now my clothing and belongings are in boxes in my bedroom so I’m constantly digging to find what I want. I’m sure I’ll be able to find a dresser on craigslist.com; I’ve bought from there before.
I just hate feeling like I’ve exhausted all possibilities and I know there’s something I’m missing. I just wish I knew what it was. If the Universe would speak up, I’d be able to see it and could continue moving forward. Like I mentioned last night, I’m already moving forward, just can’t seem to get past this one hurdle. Maybe I’ll get something while I sleep that will point me in the right direction. For now, though, I’m tired and need to relax my brain for a bit. Until tomorrow…peace to all.
Where Have I Been?
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It's hard to believe it's been so long since I've posted anything....but
that's how I roll. It's been about a year. So much has happened in a
year. Some...
11 years ago
Things are going to work out for you Beth. I'm not a particularly religious person, but I really do believe that things happen for a reason and I think that God has a plan for all of us. Sometimes I sit here and think, WTF! Why does this situation have to be a part of my "plan". LOL.
ReplyDeleteIf I were you, I'd go ahead and place a posting on Craigslist. You can have an anonymous email so the public won't have random access to you or your email.
I'm wondering what types of places you have contacted for housing. Have you tried Social Service type places? Or even search online for apartments that have rental assistance. When I first divorced Paul, I lived in an apartment and got rental assistance. My rent was just over $100 a month. I'm sure you've probably already thought about all these things, but there has to be someone who can help.
Don't wait for them to call you back. I'm learning some new things at work. They implemented a program called Sales Octane. Our CSR's are talking to people and instead of saying that we will wait to hear back from them, they set a date and tell the person that we will contact them on that future date for any information they may have. This way you aren't sitting and waiting. Cos waiting sucks!
You're smart and you're full of courage so I know you are going to find a way to pull your move together. You don't know how bad I wish we could help you. If we ever get a move out that way, and I've been watching, I keep hoping that we can do something for you on a back haul. Keep your fingers crossed! Things are going to work out for you. Call it Karma, or whatever, but you're a great person and things are going to work out....I can just feel it! :)
I'm not a religious person, either, Tracy. I'm more of a spiritual/universal energy type of person. I believe we get back what we put into the Universe but that seems to be stagnating for me these days. I know things will work out for me, it's just a matter of when. Seems like the Universe never wants to work on my time line.
ReplyDeleteI've called everyone I can and have even spoken to the Housing Authority Department at the Governor's office. The women I spoke with were very nice and gave me some good leads, but, again, the waiting lists were all closed or they had income minimums (meaning I would have to make no less than $36K to qualify to live there.) Why would I need a subsidised apartment if I was making $36K? I don't know.
Tomorrow I'm writing to the Governor there to see what other help I can get. From there, it's Congressmen and upward until someone helps me. If the government wants me off its books, then somebody will have to give me help just one last time. It'll all work out, I know it will.