A World of Stupidity

I’m feeling really sarcastic this evening and feel the need to let it out here. I was watching TV tonight and kept seeing commercials that had some really stupid commentary. I know it had to be there per the guidelines that govern commercials, but, come on, does the general public lack common sense to the point that we have to be told the obvious? I guess so, since I’m thinking that one dope in the crowd actually did what the commercials warned against. With all the jokes about warnings listed on products, we know that one moron, at some point in time, actually did whatever idiotic thing it was to warrant the warning being put there. He used a hair dryer in the bathtub, or held a firecracker in his hand while it exploded; shit like that. It must be the same with the stuff I saw on the commercials.

There was one for a medication to treat a chronic lung ailment. It’s an inhaler-type of medication that is supposed to control the inflammation in the lungs and it’s supposed to be taken only twice a day – no more; it’s not an asthma inhaler or anything similar. It’s a medication that should be used as directed. We all know that a lot of people – I’m not one of them since I don’t do medications if I can help it – will use some medications however they see fit rather than following the recommended dosages. It happens. This medication is no different but the commercial had the dosage in small print on the bottom of the screen during the entire commercial, and the spokesman said it twice. I think we got the point that it’s only supposed to be used twice a day.

The dude also mentioned that you should tell your doctor if you suffer from heart disease or high blood pressure before beginning this medication. Now I ask you, if I’m going to my doctor to request a medication for a chronic lung ailment it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen that doctor, right? Wouldn’t he know that I suffer from heart disease or high blood pressure? I’m thinking, if he’s a decent doctor, I really shouldn’t have to remind him of any other illnesses or conditions going on inside my body. Is the commercial indicating that there may be the odd chance that a person might see that commercial, decide he needs the medication advertised, and just run to any old doctor to get the prescription? Or is it saying that my doctor might be so forgetful that he needs a reminder from me of all my medical conditions? If he needs a reminder from me, I’m changing doctors. That’s a good tip for anyone.

Another commercial I see all the time is one for a medication that suppresses Herpes outbreaks. I find it amusing that the “afflicted” people in the commercials are all model-type people with bright, perky smiles. They happily tell us that they take the medication so they won’t infect their partners. Honestly, I don’t think I’d be so happy about taking that medication that I’d want everyone to know about it. The actors should look a little more solemn if you ask me. What I find funny about the commercial, though, are the warnings that come at the end. You know, the part where the voice over lists the side effects and should/should nots. There is actually a warning not to take that particular medication “if you have advanced HIV.” You know, if I had advanced HIV, I’m thinking Herpes would not be on my top-ten list of things to treat. I probably wouldn’t be sexually active at that point anyway, so what would it matter?

And speaking of sex, the third commercial I saw was one for a birth control device. It showed women who were questioning whether or not they’d taken their pill that day, or gotten their shot that week, blah, blah, blah. I was on the pill for many years and never forgot to take it. Wake in the morning, brush your teeth, take your pill. It’s simple, ladies. In any case, the commercial was for Mirena; a birth control device that’s inserted into the uterus and stays there for up to five years if you want. Of course, it’s not 100% effective and can cause cramps, abdominal pain, and, in a small number of cases, pelvic inflammatory disease. Hey, I want that. NOT!!! But, here’s the line that got my attention: “If Mirena falls out, use back-up birth control.” YA THINK!!??

Was there really some dopey chick out there whose little intra-uterine, T-shaped birth control thingy fell out, she had sex without a back-up method of birth control, then tried to blame the makers of Mirena? Don’t tell me that she actually thought that, even though it was in her hand, it was still working as usual. For fuck’s sake, ladies, the condom doesn’t work if the guy’s not wearing it, the pill doesn’t work if you don’t take it, and intra-uterine devices don’t work outside the uterus. Gimme a break, would ya? I know there are some really stupid people in this World, but that just irks me. I get tired of being treated like I’m one of them, don’t you?

Maybe we could brand all the morons; those who use products incorrectly due to sheer stupidity, then try to sue the makers for millions. If we could just put a big, permanent ‘S’ (for Stupid) on their forehead, we’d know who to avoid as we walked down the streets. They could start their own club and discuss all the moronic shit they’d done and we won’t have to hear about it, nor would unneeded tax dollars be spent on frivolous lawsuits. The dopes could just stand in the courtroom and have folks like us berate them for a while; then the judge could order the tattoo done right then and there. And any lawyers working with the stupids should be made to spend the rest of their lives with the branded person, all the while wearing an “I’m with Stupid” T-shirt. Then we’d know which lawyers to avoid also.

Don’t waste my time with your condescending bullshit, please, Oh Masters of the Commercial. My doctor already knows my ailments; I won’t take any medication to treat one infection when I have a life-threatening infection raging inside me; and I certainly will make sure I use back-up birth control when the one that was inserted is now in my hand. Matter of fact, why don’t you just get the moron who caused the extra clauses to do the commercials? “Hi, my name is Ima Nidiot. The Mirena birth control device works fantastically well; I never even had a pregnancy scare while I used it. Then it fell out one day and I didn’t use a back-up method of birth control because I thought the Mirena would still do its job. My twins tell me differently. Next time it falls out I’ll be sure to call my doctor, blah, blah, blah…” That would be nice, right? Not only would we get the pertinent information, but we’d see first hand what happens when we don’t use common sense; plus, we’d get to laugh at someone really dumb. Sounds like good clean fun to me. I just love to laugh, don’t you?

Until next time…peace to all.